No support system

General words of encouragement can go a long way. Everyone on this site will appreciate help with coping with pain and disability. Non-denominational, please.
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MissMiniscus

No support system

Post by MissMiniscus »

Hi all,

I am suffering from extreme anxiety, isolation and depression one month post surgery from mcl tear, patella fracture. I had a sizeable piece of my patella removed, and the ligament was reconstructed. A success, apart from the sharp edges of the remaining bone (my knee feels like a crumpled ball of tinfoil!). Immediately after my surgery my boyfriend broke up with me because I require more assistance than he is willing to provide. My parents suffer from mental illness and live in another city, they are demonstrating incapability of providing emotional support. In fact, the situation is causing many conflicts due to added stress. I have difficulty getting to physio, lawyers, doctors appointments, as well as daily activities. Weekends are challenging as none of my friends or extended family contact me, I feel I am attempting to recover entirely on my own, it's overwhelming.

I am trying my best to maintain composure and conjure a positive outlook, but managing 6-8 more months of this solitude feels more than I can handle. I know this is discussed elsewhere, but what do people actually do to resolve and overcome feeling alone, abandoned, isolated etc when moral support is limited?
Brandon123
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Re: No support system

Post by Brandon123 »

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your situation, recovering from surgery is difficult enough (mentally and physically) WITH a functioning support system! Are there any types of support groups or voluntary organizations in the city where you live that you can reach out to for help/support? Maybe you can do some googling and see if anything comes up? Even just talking to somebody might help you feel a little bit better.

Last edited by Brandon123 on Tue May 23, 2017 4:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
RK sharp pain while running, diagnosis chondromalacia patellae 6/09
RK arthroscopic chondroplasty 9/09
RK rehab, recovery, 90% normal, started running again -> back to square one 5/15
RK diagnosis patellofemoral arthritis + LK diagnosis chondromalacia patellae 8/15 -> conservative treatment
kayeinsea
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Re: No support system

Post by kayeinsea »

In our area I found some good people just to text with through church sessions. Like, one was a divorce group, on was a financial class for women. I stay away from meetup (maybe thats just me) but if you use facebook, you can can down a rabbit hole into so many cool things happening. And when you meet them, just add them right then and there! When I broke up with an ex n 2012 i just went all in being where everyone was....even though I did not want to do it. Ended up making that year on of my best.

* My knee was not yet an issue, but I was super depressed. I stayed sitting. Everyone had to come to me!
Oct '16: Fell, landed in splits.
Dec '16: PT twisted left knee, loud pop. MRI #1: patella off track
Feb '17: New PT popped kneecap into place
May '17: MRI #2: Meniscus signal, severe cartilage damage.
Feb '18: MRI #3: No meniscus tear, patella off to the side, shallow groove, barely any cartilage
kayeinsea
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Re: No support system

Post by kayeinsea »

Also I FORGOT

Based on your income level - I JUST FOUND THIS OUT - Medicaid will pay for a car - A CAR! - to get you around town.

My parents aren't available issue due to problems with younger sis. My friends have their own problems.

Can your insurance provide physiatrics support? If there's another issues going on, send me a note. I know state programs and tricks to get them well.
Oct '16: Fell, landed in splits.
Dec '16: PT twisted left knee, loud pop. MRI #1: patella off track
Feb '17: New PT popped kneecap into place
May '17: MRI #2: Meniscus signal, severe cartilage damage.
Feb '18: MRI #3: No meniscus tear, patella off to the side, shallow groove, barely any cartilage
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leezard
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Re: No support system

Post by leezard »

Having a strong support system is so important. Please, please reach out to your community in any way that you can. Friends should be understanding that you need to be social, and if they're good friends then they will be only too happy to help you recover! Don't feel bad for calling on them!

Switching things up with different people is also good. When my husband was doing everything here it was too much for him. He works an hour away, so me constantly relying on him was quite a lot. We reached out to friends and family and neighbours. We do not ask for help often, but we had to. Our relationship depended on it, and everyone we did reach out to came out whenever we needed it. But we had to ask - sometimes people just don't know what you need, or don't want to intrude. Be open with how you're doing!

Big hugs. I hope your recovery goes well.
Krystal

6/6/09 - TPF (fell)
6/7/09 - surgery: plate; 9 screws
6/9/09 - d/c from hospital w/immobilizer; NWB
6/15/09 - staples removed
7/6/09 - start on ROM
8/6/09 - 20lbs WB, start PT
8/30/09 - stuck @ 75 degrees; start weaning brace; up to 60lbs WB
9/28/09 - D/C from OS care; 92 AROM; 105 PROM
dannyfornam
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Re: No support system

Post by dannyfornam »

I hope you have some support groups or communities near you for the comfort of immediate real life help. As for anything else, I'm sure people on here would have no problem helping and listening.
Alina
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Re: No support system

Post by Alina »

Hey what you are going through is something I have been through for almost 2 years in my life. Then finally I realised I was trying to be in my comfort zone and was captivated by the prison of my own thoughts.

Consider the following 4 steps -

1. The first thing, I would recommend is reach out to your closest friend and talk to them. Tell them clearly what you feel.
2. Secondly, try deep breathing exercises. Once your body is oxygenated you will feel fresh and energetic. It will resolve your mental fatigure.
3. Thirdly, engage yourself in something constructive. Create something that you will feel proud about.
4. You may consider consulting a medical counseller online, who can understand and address your issue.

Final advice would be to shut down your laptop and feel the world outside.
I know its easier said than done but I wish I could help you more.
Hope it helps. Thanks. Stay happy & stay calm.
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