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Author Topic: When walking becomes a torture  (Read 814 times)

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Offline Haley

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When walking becomes a torture
« on: July 16, 2018, 11:15:00 PM »
I can't believe it's been a year since my surgeon originally told me it only took six weeks to FULLY recover.

I found this forum because I was searching for some words to describe how I feel to my doctor in Canada because I am not a native English speaker. And I definitely found more than I know.

I had repair in lateral meniscus in both my knees. Now, every step I took, I feel my meniscus is like a piece of sand paper rubbing against the bottom of my femur in my left knee(yes, this is the most precise description I found so far). And a clunk in my right knee. Although some people say if it's not painful then it's no big deal, but it's annoying because I can feel it EVERY STEP I took. So, when I walk it's rubbing in the left knee and clunk in the right knee. Even sometimes when I sit in a totally relaxed position, the bottom of my femur would just slide on one ball of scar tissue/stitches after another.

Sometimes, I just ask God, would you give me a break. At least, give me one step that is smooth.

if I get to choose I really hope I get some terminal disease so I can die fast rather than this endless torturing.
_________________________________________________________________________________
age 11 LK arthroscopy discoid meniscus
6.2017 LK lateral meniscus repair (age 26)
11.2017 RK lateral meniscus repair
 All done in Shanghai

Offline frustrated101

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Re: When walking becomes a torture
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2018, 11:34:12 PM »
I totally agree where you are coming from.  I feel like life just picked me up on body slammed me.  Never been more low.  I filed a complaint with the board of medicine against my guy for doing stuff not on the consent form (lateral and medial releases).  I now need reconstructive surgery to both legs.  Such a nightmare.

I find myself questioning whether it's worth continuing this journey.  My knees are the only thing I think about, I've read damn near every post on kneeguru about LPFL and MPFL reconstructions.  And it just seems like I'm a slave to surgeons at this point, I work for months to pay them for an hour or two of work that may or may not make me better but can DEFINITELY make me worse.  I don't know if the potential good times in the future will outweigh the bad

Life sucks for now.  Maybe get another opinion, I get to see yet another OS this Friday (more money, time, and frustration).  I wish you well.
« Last Edit: July 17, 2018, 07:24:02 PM by frustrated111, Reason: add »

Offline Christine10S

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Re: When walking becomes a torture
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2018, 04:06:39 AM »
Hi to both of you- Iím so sorry to hear you both are having such a terrible time with your knees.  I also am feeling the same- my world turned upside down almost a year ago...& just like Frustrated, I too have read every post on this site re PFPS, Patellar Tendinitis, Fat Pad Syndrome & Bursitis, etc.   I have a few good days, then a week of hell.  And I canít even enjoy the good days bc I know the pain will come again, itís just not knowing when.  I hate being obsessed with this injury!  All I do is research & research & pray & pray & no relief.  I canít even watch TV because every show or commercial shows people walking or running- or just being able to enjoy life!  I donít even know what that is anymore!!!  & I too hope thereís a way out quicker for me.  Iím only 50, I will not live the next 10 20 or 30 years like this.  I keep wondering what I could have done to deserve this.  Iíve seen people recover from torn ACL, meniscus & even a broken femur in the time that itís taken me to get nowhere!!!  They are all walking & almost back to normal!!!I try to be strong but itís really getting harder now.  I will pray for you guys- bc I truly know what you are going through!!!!:(

Offline Haley

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Re: When walking becomes a torture
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2018, 10:37:15 AM »
Tomorrow the sun will still go up and I will still be suffering.

Offline Haley

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Re: When walking becomes a torture
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2018, 01:08:06 PM »
I want to say that it's not like we are only dealing with this knee problem in our lives. In the meantime, we have our own personal lives, our job, school to attend. A year ago when I got my first repair, I was just about to come to Canada to pursue master degree, I was debating whether I should take a year off. Then my surgeon told me you will be perfectly fine in 6 weeks. And I was so naive and I honestly believed that doctors are all genuine. So I flew to this country just 6 weeks after my surgery and here I am, thousand miles away from my home and don't have a clue of the medical system here in Canada. I do read some posts saying how some doctors are simply butchers. Until today, I am still in shock how my future to my doctor is just about business. Now I still have to take an extra year to finish school after all the damages I've already done to my knees. And yet I don't even know how many more surgeries I will need to fix the problems caused by my prior surgeries. I don't wanna talk to my parents because they already had to support me an extra year. They seem to be worn out because it seems that my knee will never get better.  I don't think there is unconditional love, even my parents are already tired of me constantly talking about my knees. Many nights, I asked myself why everything happened at such bad timing in my life. I know most people here are living in pain. I can't talk to anybody in real life, so I might just say something here.















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