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Author Topic: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary  (Read 89335 times)

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Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #405 on: May 23, 2015, 01:23:22 AM »
thanks for your reply georgie yes i do hope than ever before that i will hear some news, my promoter has said for the long term im not allowed to train without a trainer present for working on legs etc, as he is freaking out that my knee my just give completely so if i want to run i have to have a trainer with me if i want to work my legs i have to have a trainer with me.........,

he said the insurance and sponsors are beginning to ask questions about the length of my recovery and complications and are wanting more answers an are wanting to speak with my surgeon as verification im trying to hold off as much as possible because i dont want to put the surgeon under stress, as i want him to fix my knee for the ability of the long term perspective and not in the name of wrestling..................sometimes this can be a problem with insurances promoters they expect you back by a certain point and get very agitated when your not, damage control you could say but they understand due to the pre existing medical condition exemption that i have to wait my turn in the NHS...............

i have the physios trying to keep my leg going, but im finding even they are struggling, as like they said its a waiting game until the problem is resolved with surgery, some days my knee just seizes, locks stiff and just dislocates, then other days its lax and gives way dislocated or hyper extends into my knee... my personal trainers are working alongside the physios advice to try to make sure my legs are strong as they can be for the surgery, but when my knee dislocates........its frustrating for them as well as me as we find we have to do a lot more upper body or core to let the leg rest a week... so its like you go three steps forward six steps back.........

sleeping is still the same, 3-4 hours have to sleep with knee bent with other leg resting under it or putting it up a wall if i try straight i feel my kneecap digging into my femur and it feels not a nice pressure, but i generally just deal with it...........sometimes cry to sleep but nothing i can do, to be honest just shattered, some things  i cant do in the gym any more, knee still grinding when walking cant sit in a chair for more than 30 minutes  my boss in my second job has given me extra time to get up and about as the knee gets so stiff otherwise im in agony.....of course anyone would feel slightly rather frustrated my promoter and insurance have asked me if i dont get any information for an assessment date by the end of the first week in june which would be near enough 10 weeks, to ring and question them and they will get the independent doctor and physio to write a letter and send it via DHL to my surgeon stating the concerns they have with my knee and the amount of instability i have....
so fingers crossed i will hear something soon..............=) trying to keep positive
no replies please many thanks =) .
« Last Edit: May 23, 2015, 01:28:55 AM by lucha86 »

Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #406 on: May 25, 2015, 12:07:39 AM »
so my personal trainer has gone to an equestrian show in Lisbon with some horses so has left me in the hands of a clark kent superman lookalike personal trainer for the next 10 days lol, he is fully trained in first aid and level 4 qualified which is the highest you can get, he wanted to understand my dislocations better in the event of a dislocation or semi dislocation, so i told him what to do and he said it was the same as he was taught to do,.......... my normal trainer who has more experience than him has already laid down the law what he can and cannot do with me,  she has 12 years experience he has 8 years experience....... and she said to him to stop if he sees my knee go like bambi......

so my knee has went lax several times this week and last week and given way without going to the gym and going to the gym, it has now become rather discoloured, and i have noticed my side scar looks very lax the skin around the area, looks shabby/saggy looking, for the past few weeks of rest i have been feeling as if the ligament has pinging as if its like an elastic band pinging on my bones, but just kept going with it im now wearing tape everyday and a brace too on heavy days on top of it...............sitting for long periods forget about lol its rather impossible... i see the physio in 3 days so fingers crossed she will help me out, still sleep deprived but at least i have my ipod to entertain me nothing like goos classical music, or sam smith george ezra  to listen to  lol

so  i think sometimes you feel when your an athlete, that your like a ping pong ball between the surgeon independent doctor insurance and promoters etc..... because legally we are contracted to return to the ring after surgery, due to contractual agreements legal insurance agreements etc When rather large complications happen, you start to become a mediator in this situation....
My promoter wants me not to give my surgeon any more research until the surgery is complete and believes i should detract the research i have already given if i don't have an assessment date within the 11 week point of waiting for an assessment date.......
i explained its the NHS, you have to wait your turn, in which my promoter replied, your waiting for a surgery to fix a problem from your first surgery, shouldn't that take a priority, you said the secretary told you it was 12 weeks tops, then you rang the appointments line to confirm an estimate which was July, and they said he had a long waiting list which would make it 17 weeks....He wanted me to go for a second opinion to a doctor in London i declined for the moment... I replied, you just have to wait your turn that's how its works and i wasn't covered under my insurance due to pre existing condition.......... and shouldn't we allow the surgeon to try to fix the problem he knows my knee better than anyone right now, he agreed as did the insurance.............

Then i had the independent doctor email me a few days ago to check in how i was doing.........he said so got a date ...i replied no............ his response was.........if you do not get a reply by two weeks i will write a letter for you to your surgeon, and i will ask your personal trainer to write one too, in regarding to your ongoing instability, lack of sleep, and inabilities ,it must be addressed sooner rather than later and i will send letters to your insurance wrestling promoter and company........... otherwise you wrestling careers will be DESTROYED i have to cover myself too as your independent doctor i don't want this coming back on me either in form of liability ...... its ridiculous its taken you over 3 years to try to get this knee sorted...........
at that point i replied.........

"actually 12 years no one has been able to give me an answer for my knee issue........ you can send as many letters as you like but you know after working in the nhs it wont speed up the process ..........." plus im near retirement age too im three years off......... i dont care about liability ok? all i ask is just a decent working knee not 100% but something i can work with rather than a knee that works against me, doctors need to cool it on the liability front... if they keep thinking like that then it will just cause more problems/....
i got no reply... expect "two weeks then the letters are being sent..."

welcome to the world of honesty in sports and medical complications and politics lol i think now its just a case of faith now in the fact that an assessment will come through. in the next two weeks..... just want a decent knee to work with not expecting 100% knee but something i can work with im trying to back my surgeon up here because i want him to fix it and he has helped me on a several occasions when my leg has been buggered, but i myself i'm just tired my knee is buggered, sore and have my wrestling and insurance and independent doctor  and sponsor moaning and its rather frustrating and as i said before i have to wait my turn on the NHS.......... NO REPLIES PLEASE I SEE THIS DIARY AS A PLACE TO EXPRESS MYSELF..................................


Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #407 on: May 25, 2015, 08:29:37 PM »
So after so nagging from my promotor and physio and another email I  just gave in and sent a letter to my surgeons secretary who is a very nice lady to explain my situation to see if any good can come about I would rather it come from me than a letter from my promotor I think it's the more respectful way to do it..........
You never know till you try because if I'm not wrestling by the end of the year big problems no replies please !,,

Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #408 on: May 28, 2015, 02:38:27 PM »
so still no word from my surgeon secretary i suspect she is rather busy after the bank holiday ...... my knee went again but just got it back in a plodded along with the help of the independent doctor, i saw my physio today who suggested i sought a second opinion, and was concerned that i hadn't even had an assessment date yet which is generally 6 weeks before the surgery........................
i got my physio some biscuits after the last time she saw me i had just burst into tears, and i was just not coping with the reactions of the knee just being so temperamental.........
she asked me how i felt today i said demoralised and frustrated and sleep deprived..........  but i still keep plodding.....
she said she found it rather bizarre how the surgeon had several options.... i replied to her i have no other choice as my private insurance wouldnt allow me as it was a pre existing condition .........
she asked if there was anything she could help me with and i remember feeing i was welling uo, and she knows me know to change the subject when i react like that............
then after the physio the knee went again i have just managed to get home hopping, tired and in tears and frustrated to say the least and to add insult to injury my sponser told me they would drop my sponsorship if im not wrestling by December  and i have explained that too my surgeon too.........
just feel so tired with lack of sleep, all i want is an answer for someone to say hey this is an assesment date you will be fine, we will get it sorted ....................
 
« Last Edit: May 29, 2015, 03:59:00 PM by lucha86 »

Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #409 on: May 30, 2015, 12:06:28 AM »
SO TODAY HAS BEEN AN EYE OPENER------ OR A JOKE! you could say in frustrating terms........

So my knee went again, and considering quite literally my knee is truly buggered...... i decided i would ring the NHS appointments line after travelling to see if there was any news on any assessment dates that had come through, to no surprise NONE AFTER 9 WEEKS, im always nice to the staff never shout at them or rude i was never brought up that way i believe alot if respect and honour.....
so the guy who helped me on the appointments line i spoke to previously and i put in an email about his great attitude and the funniest things is he recognised me for my humour and sarcasm lol about 5 months back he helped me and he thanked me for the recognition , he said its nice to hear a happy patient rather than a patient that shouts, sad really how some people treat others...........
So i explained the situation that my knee was still dislocating i still was waiting from my surgeons medical secretary to get back to me on the email i sent nearly a week ago but i appreciate it was a bank holiday....and i was standing to lose 22,000 pound if im not wrestling my December. as my promoter is losing the plot as he believes a year is too long to wait.....

 i said i shouldn't have to end up at a hospital with a dislocating knee and doctors just dont know how to treat me because they haven't heard of mpfl and send me home to deal with it myself .... he said so your waiting for revision surgery and they still haven't given you an assessment date after over 2 months????
i said yes and he said WHAT!!? that's ridiculous..... the surgeon was aware you are an athlete and this is revision surgery and you have not had anything..... so he replied that's is im going to help you and you shouldn't be waiting this long...

 its astonishing or ridiculous so he said he would send an email to get the secretary to contact me regarding my email, then he said and im going to give you an appointment with this surgeon because you need help,he cant keep leaving you like this .... you need to be adamant on this appointment how long has this knee issue been going on from the date of surgery he asked ..... one year i said and its still dislocating after a surgery that's suppose to stop it and he said you shouldn't have to wait considering this is revision surgery and your an athlete its a high priority and your young, he kept saying he couldn't believe it.... how are you still happy he asked me? i said to him dunno just keep going.... he replied im going to help you.......and here is my email and you let me know if they get back to you and i will chase them up for you ok?.......... you shouldnt have to wait this long............ its beyond the point ......

so someone is finally helping me,  im just tired of it all, just want to burst into tears personally rather i find it demoralising, you would expect even with the over 10 stone weight loss and  that i hoped to have the stability i wanted but in a way yes i do feel let down, i think sometimes any doctor or surgeon underestimates the fact that how much faith and trust we put in them to put things right with a problem we have, especially when you have to return to sports, i think generally surgeons or doctors can underestimate the pressures of this........ i understand the NHS is under strain and every doctor nurse and employee is trying to do the best they can, but i think sometimes by overcomplicating things and not keeping things simple doesnt help the patient or doctor alike, ................

to be honest getting desperate now i even said it to the guy on the phone im not sleeping well, at all my knee dislocates when i run or semi dislocates.....

hope is a hard thing to hold on to when most of the things you love to do you cant do in sports etc......when you seem to have no answers and just left in the dark.........to be honest after this whole experience im beginning to lose faith in doctors,  and the problem with mpfl reconstruction is there are few doctors who do the surgery so therefore few who can help so your left in a position where you can only treat yourself..... so fingers crossed this guy can help me because im just tired of it all just want the ability to have a decent night sleep.............now im desperate for help to sort this knee out.......... no comments please

Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #410 on: May 30, 2015, 10:42:12 PM »
Knee red and swollen after another dislocation no surprise now no comments please

Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #411 on: May 31, 2015, 05:09:48 PM »
So my knee has given out again it's just laughable now  ::) sometimes it's hard to remain positive I can't walk on it right now barely so I have left the private physio a voicemail to see if they can check it tomorrow ......
I hope they can fix it as they pretty much understand my situation ......
It's a case of trying to keep my knee going until I get a surgery or assessment date, and they agree with my independent doctor it's a case of damage control right now.......
I'm beginning to think their is a major imbalance in my knee joint as I find the medial side mpfl is pinging like an elastic band and the lateral side is tiring and very sore and the rubbing grinding is creating more problems but I keep plodding on .... I'm not a doctor but I know when something isn't right ..... The medical secretary for my surgeon hasn't got back to me yet after nearly a week, but I'm giving her some time as I know it was the bank holiday last week..........
I think my private physio is going to go nuts as the physio is getting concerned about my knee and how lax the joint is and the instability .and the physio hears that the medical secretary hasn't got back to me ...... I'm not wanting to be on the end if that let's just say..................just tired of all of it right now..... Just want someone to help me to get this knee sorted........ And have some hope and faith again...... No comments please


Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #412 on: June 01, 2015, 12:35:58 AM »
so my independent doctor decided to send me a high importance email on a sunday which rather confused me as most private doctors in london, generally like the weekends off?? So i thought considering the day i have already had it is probably going to get worse lol...  ::)
So he said the promoter made sure before he left the insurance paid to check up on me while he was on holiday...... "Money talks" i said to him via email.... he asked me how i was doing? I replied currently got my leg up a wall with a cryocuff dripping to try to stop swelling...... fed up and demoralised but still plodding along after my knee gave out today..... he asked had i heard anything from my surgeons secretary yet i said "nope." Next thing i know my mobile was ringing and he said " ARE YOU JOKING?!"
i replied about how the appointments line guy was going to help me, and that i was going to see the physio tomorrow, as you know in the UK most doctors go "HMMMMMM..." either when they dont agree with something or annoyed, or change a subject ....... so thats what he did, and he said to me

"Its time to pull out the big cards, and be blunt, stop being so nice deal with it or the letters are going out!"
your knee is in a terrible state, and the NHS generally would put revision surgery down as a priority if they suspect technical error. or surgical error........due to risk of liability...." Again that word got mentioned

To be honest i dont give a care in the world about liability as long as someone fixes the problem im happy.......i replied " i would not even think of liability i just want it sorted thats it."
the doctor replied you forget about your insurance and legal papers, if your retired because of this surgery  huge complications can occur......."
"I replied to be honest right now im tired, annoyed, frustrated im trying my best to get it sorted but no one is trying to help me, and your just ping ponged from one person to another and i dont care about liability AT ALL full stop just as long as its gets sorted everyone else is happy too in which he did agree  i said i have trust in my surgeon and that im sure everything will be sorted with the revision surgery........" I hate the fact that so many doctors are scared of liability than treating a patient nowadays...!
so i try to be nice and help my surgeon, by blocking the insurance and promoters and doctor from blocking them from speaking with him but the independent doctor said if you dont get an answer by the end of this week, no more blocks can be done.... as we are concerned with your knee and the time its taking for treatment when this is REVISION surgery for the first surgery..........
i then replied to him ." So have you got anything positive to say?"
so he sent me a link for something a publication which did interest me rather

http://www.researchgate.net/publication/5873439_Recurrent_patellar_dislocation_after_medial_patellofemoral_ligament_reconstruction

so the interesting part was it showing higher TTTG and hyperlaxity were/ could be causes in dislocations, post MPFL surgery can cause greater stress on the MPFL reconstruction, and cause the kneecap to dislocate, which would explain the problems i have been having as my TTTG was 20mm and i have hyperlaxity........but as i said to the doctor i have had this for 10 years and still having problems, its just becoming an in house joke now lol  if i dont laugh i will just cry....physio tomorrow wish me luck................... BUT WHO KNOWS WHATS GOING ON WITH MY KNEE JUST GIVE UP AND PLOD ALONG JUST WANT A RESOLUTION THATS IT!!! no replies please
« Last Edit: June 01, 2015, 12:45:48 AM by lucha86 »

Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #413 on: June 01, 2015, 10:08:23 PM »
Knee looking all mummified after physio

Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #414 on: June 02, 2015, 12:34:15 AM »
So i went to the physio, i was feeling pretty demorlaised considering my knee had given out at at the aiport before i was suppose to fly out to latin america to give interviews about the condition of my knee and return... which to be honest the interviews would have been just a case as all doctors do to try to avoid a subject smile and say "soon" to avoid the actual answer, and considering it was for a 12 hour flight i thought no point on risking getting on a plane...........

So i saw my physio and she said i wasnt expecting to see you i thought you were....... then she saw my knee and said are you ok?? your knee is very unstable and very very lax, what happened?? she tried to massage it and honestly the pain was just too much especially behind the knee cap and on the femur i burst into tears and said i just want a knee that i can work with not a 100% knee but something that i can work with........ then she said why don't you ring the medical secretary for your surgeon so in the moment of emotional frustration i rang then burst into tears down the phone at her didn't shout at all just tired and emotional just crying said i couldn't take these dislocations any more, remember her saying a few things.......then passed the phone onto my physio just couldnt cope with the pain and then passed the phone for my physio to talk with her....... then i heard through the pain oh he has been talking to him about her surgery?

I thought in my head " Great ... everyone was right all along he was unsure of what to do..." Considering i backed my surgeon up several times over saying he has alot of experience, and i trust in him and he knows what he is doing i didnt know what was best at this point......"

then my physio said something which was true she said to me "Some surgeons just dont understand the pressures for people like you to return to sport, and especially when you have complications, it can be even more frustrating....."
she said "When i started with you and you had nothing you have achieved so much and you should be proud of what you have achieved i can see your legs very strong, but your knee is very very lax, and with bad instability there, i will speak to the surgeon and get a number for him and will contact him then contact you after i speak with him.......... and make sure you take some meds keep with the cryocuff and the cream because under the kneecap has a lot of fluid and swelling....... so im following orders, because my knee has given in.........................
So i left in agony, but i must admitt the physio clinic is great i couldn't fault them, they are always there for me......... so she knee taped my knee up............ so i tried to keep it covered with a bag and cling film in the shower the taping got wet and my knee went again out of the shower, .......................
so now i have to go to see the independent doctor tomorrow to check my knee as its got worse ............. so how am i feeling LOST ALL HOPE IN SURGEONS, KNEE IS SCREWED, AND IM CURRENTLY WALKING LIKE HERR FLICK OUT OF ALLO ALLO, not the day i planned................. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
NO REPLIES PLEASE!!



Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #415 on: June 03, 2015, 07:10:09 PM »
So I got a phone call on Tuesday ......... From my surgeons PA she said that the surgeon would like to see me on Wednesday after speaking with my physio........... So as anyone knows in the uk if your waiting on the nhs
This is very quick or there is something going on.........

So I went today anyway while I was on my way to the hospital I got a call to say ........ I'm from the surgery list and your pre assessment is Wednesday next week, and your surgery date is 30th of June.........
I was like OMG!!!! I remember crying because I was elated :)))) but she said my surgeon had spoken to her about it......... So now things were starting to make sense..............

So I said do I still go to my surgeons appointment she said yes...... So I went  to the clinic, saw my surgeon he told me his plan which was an mpfl revision with a lars revision a clean out of the joint, and tightening of the quadriceps if needed............I said to be honest I didn't care what he did but as long as I had a stable knee I can deal with the rest...... He said after speaking with my physio he thought that was the best course of action............
He then said because it is a revision mpfl, there is a chance he could fracture my kneecap and with the lars ligament a risk of arthritis..... But then I said to him.... My knee is dislocating so the chances are higher of arthritis right now than not doing anything about it sometimes the unknown is better.............
He said he had spoken to the surgery waiting list coordinator for my appointment to be put forward , and I gave him a bottle of red wine to think him for it.............

So my surgery is in just over 3 weeks !!!!!

Finally I have some hope and faith again I took a bottle of wine to thank my physio for speaking with my surgeon......... She had a patient but left a note sometimes it's important to thank those people because 
They are the true heroes of the nhs and should be thanked.....








Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #416 on: June 07, 2015, 12:08:31 AM »
so while listening to abit of john denver i write this point trust me im not that old i was born in the late 80's but i like his music lol..........

So how am i feeling..... well  there are so many adjectives to describe how im feeling.........nervous, anxious, happy, rather several different emotions, i received my letter today to confirm my surgery date in the post...... so i decided to read some publications on the LARS ligament to see what i could find about it..
and it created more questions for me.......
Ok so the LARS ligament was created by the French.... but it has shown in some early publications to create early arthritis..... it has shown to allow people to return quicker to sports..... but it has also shown its better not to run on the joint for up to 12 weeks until the fluid retention is built in the knee...... some doctors are concerned with the lack of research of the longevity of the ligament..............

so finger crossed i will get my answers in the next assessment i have =) just hoping now everything will go well

Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #417 on: June 09, 2015, 05:25:14 PM »
so i read through my diary to see how much i accomplished and it made me think i shouldnt feel deflated to how much i had achieved with the complications and everything else..........
but for me its raised several questions for me for the doctors that i suppose only research can answer in time

1) What is the right ligament to use for the individual?
There is still a misconception about what is the correct ligament to use in an MPFL surgery, from the quadricep to the patella tendon, to the hamstring which is the more common one or artifical ligaments?
For me with the people who i have spoken to about mpfl surgery i think its is dependent on the strength of the graft and how this graft can be adapted to a persons occupation and the condition of the natural knee as by what i have read some grafts are see stronger than others, i think some things such as lax ligaments needs to be careful consideration because a lax joint over a over strong ligament can result in complications..

2)When is tight too tight?
So when it comes to the ligament, when is tight to tight, when flexion is lost or when the inability to do basic pivots or motions? locking... when does a surgeon draw the line and appreciate and understand the quality of a persons life is affected  by overtightness?? I appreciate that MPFL is still in its new stages but there must be from experience an understanding, when a patient can't physically pull their leg back, or overlocks which could cause early  arthritis by not giving the joint the ability to move, there is a fine precision within mpfl 1mm one way could be great 1mm the other way could make the knee react differently, so im not surprised how hard it is for surgeons when it comes to mpfl reconstruction.....in a way sometimes surgeons forget we leave our career in their hands and step into the unknown, sometimes in life its about taking a risk because anything cant be worse than dislocations.........

3)the points where the sutures are in MPFL reconstruction
as i got to the gym a lot i have found that some machines you cant work with because they sit on the sutures, but then now i generally put a towel in between the leg as comfort, sometimes its a case to adapt to the situation and do what works best with you =)

just my opinion everyones recovery is different and unique not long till surgery now under 3 weeks i just hope that doctors can learn alot from mpfl reconstruction patient to give hope to other people in the future that any complications that arise with mpfl can be overcome and not to fear them and that anything is possible to achieve........ ! no replies please............
« Last Edit: June 09, 2015, 05:26:53 PM by lucha86 »

Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #418 on: June 11, 2015, 10:24:24 PM »
so after mulling over what my surgeon said to me, i was beginning to think of the chances of what he described as fracturing or breaking my kneecap it made me abit nervous as from a recovery aspect because i thought then i wouldn't be able to do any rehab on it for a while so i have been looking for more information about it..... recovery looks longer which is the worst case scenario, but i will deal with that bridge when i come to it at the end of the day i wont know till after the surgery fingers crossed with luck it wont get fractured or broke.....
no replies please

Offline lucha86

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Re: An athletes mpfl reconstruction diary
« Reply #419 on: June 14, 2015, 12:01:34 AM »
so had a bit of a bad experience today lifting my niece today she is 4 and my knee just went when i was holding her luckily, shes very athletic so she jumped to the floor, while i got my knee together, and to be honest the lateral side of my knee, i don't believe is coping well, and feel as if its being tugged too much, against the medial mpfl, side, so i think i will mention that to my surgeon before my surgery to make him aware because its just a weird feeling  :o so surgery is due for june 30th so not long to go now till its gets all sorted sometimes is important to have faith in this situation.... no repliesplease















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