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Author Topic: You really find out who your true family and friends are  (Read 1694 times)

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Offline Johnnyp060

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You really find out who your true family and friends are
« on: November 25, 2013, 05:36:58 AM »
I've been visiting this site for support for quite a while now and have gotten some awesome support and even made some great friends on here. I was in a dirtbike crash on March 4th, 2012 which left me with a torn ACL, PCL and MCL. Long story short, had my first surgery and found out at almost a year post surgery that my MCL didn't heal properly, I'm scheduled to go in December 4th to have my second surgery. Needless to say, it's been a long road and my friends and family have been with me every step of the way, especially my wife. My wife has an older sister, who we used to be really close to but over the years have kind of drifted apart. My wife and her got together a couple weekends ago and she asked her what happened to their relationship. She said she started pulling herself away right after my crash and was angry with me and couldn't believe that I wanted to ride again and couldn't believe I still wanted our son to ride too. My wife and I were both taken back by this and felt pretty much blindsided. I've been riding motorcycles my whole life and I don't plan on giving it up any time soon.
I know this isn't really a medical post but I needed to vent and wanted to see if anyone else in here had a reaction like this from friends and family. Thanks, John.
3/4/12 Dirtbike crash, tore ACL, PCL and MCL
5/14/12 Surgery done to replace ACL, PCL and MCL with cadaver tendons
12/4/13 ACL and MCL replaced again, kneecap released and anchored and external fixator installed

Offline soozles

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Re: You really find out who your true family and friends are
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2013, 02:23:51 PM »
I can see where she's coming from though. She's probably worried a crash can happen again and maybbe worse next time. She probably doesnt understand why you would put yourself in a situation where already something bad happened, and why you would want tour son to be in that same situation, particularly as you're a year out and still having problems. She may be angry but I bet it's coming from a place of love. It's hard to stand by and watch the ones you care about go through something hard, and it's even harder watching then put themselves in the same situation. I would personally cut her some slack.
May 2005: Torn PCL, misdiagnosed as chondromalacia
April 2010: pain worse, lots of instability
Nov. 23, 2010: PCL reconstruction
progress here: http://pclrecovery.blogspot.com/

Offline kcknee

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Re: You really find out who your true family and friends are
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2013, 02:47:03 PM »
I disagree, accidents are rare and if you are not an extreme crazy risk taker and if you take proper safety precautions you have to keep enjoying your life and doing the things you enjoy. Yes, you may get hurt, but you will definitely have a lot of fun. I tore my ACL in 2008 when my son was just in kindergarten and starting to learn to ski. I had skied my entire life and didn't want my accident to take away an enjoyable activity from him.

At the time of my ACLr surgery, before all these complications set in, I was planning to ski again (OS approved) 4 months after the surgery on the one year anniversary of my ACL tear. A lot of people couldn't believe then that I was planning to ski again or that I let my son ski. After the last many years of surgeries and more to come, I won't ever ski again, but my son started skiing black diamond trails his first year and loves it. I would never take that away from him. He always wears a helmet and has taken many ski lessons.

Kristin
12/31/08 - Skiing injury L knee
6/1/09 - ACL stump removed from joint
8/31/09 - ACLr - Hamstring Graft
12/21/09 - Ant Fasciotomy 
8/26/10 - Anterior Interval Release
12/6/10, 5/5/11, 12/22/11 - Fasciotomy
12/7/12 - Nerve Decompression
6/3/13(m), 7/29/13(l), 12/13/13(m & foot) 2/3/14(l) Fasciotomy

Offline JFisher3

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Re: You really find out who your true family and friends are
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2013, 06:45:25 PM »
Hey how do,
Firstly I hope your keeping well and keep going at it, but on the subject of family and friends I have to agree, you do find out who's who. Some of my family have been excellent and some make the effert but there is also those who really don't understand the severity of our injury's and just take it for face value while telling you things they think you want to hear without taking the time to try and understand.(close family members BTW)
       I also get a lot of negativity about returning to my spot of choice........Football. I understand that people  care and wouldnt like me to suffer this injury again or anything similar but the fact is you can be injured anytime of day doing numorous things such as walking down the stairs, you cannot just hide away from the things you enjoy in fear of being hurt or you would get nothing done and have no fun at all. Should you stop drinking beer incase you stumble or should you stop driving cars incase you crash?
       I am almost certain i will never play football again but if get the to the point where I am strong and fit enough to i will deffenitly return.

Just my 2 cents worth :p
Football injury leading to dislocation of tibia and rupture of ACL,PCL,MCL.... Feb 2012.
ACL,PCL,MCL Reconstruction.....Sept 2012.
PCL,MCL failed.
PCL,MCL reconstruction..... Sept 2013.
Currently doing home workouts and have pcl laxity.

Offline Johnnyp060

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Re: You really find out who your true family and friends are
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2013, 07:46:18 PM »
Thank for the input guys!!!  J, I am doing well, still hanging in there. I can see both sides of this issue but I guess my biggest issue is she pulled herself away from us during a time of need. I'm not sure if I can cut her slack on that. It's pretty bad when you have complete strangers sending you emails and your own sister in law didn't send one text or phone call.
As for returning to riding, I know it's not going to be anytime soon and I'm not going to get back on until I'm completely healthy and comfortable. When we ride we wear all the proper gear; helmet, chest protector, riding boots, etc. I didn't have an external scratch on me from my crash, just all the internal injuries. And I know from being a mountain biker for 20+ years that crashes and injuries definitely slow you down and make you mindful when you're riding. Our son loves riding and I really enjoy sharing the sport with him and we will again someday.
Thanks again for the input, I really appreciate it. John
3/4/12 Dirtbike crash, tore ACL, PCL and MCL
5/14/12 Surgery done to replace ACL, PCL and MCL with cadaver tendons
12/4/13 ACL and MCL replaced again, kneecap released and anchored and external fixator installed















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