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Offline Treeburn

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« on: May 04, 2013, 05:45:36 PM »
Hi everyone, gosh I have never been one to ask for "spiritual" help but I am willing to try anything. I amgoing in for my 6th surgery Monday. 6th in a year. I had a meniscal transplant and continue to have complications. i start doing "stinkin thinking" and my mind starts saying things like" okay, this time you will die from anesthesia, you have used up your chances etc.." I swear I am NOT crazy it is just my mind going crazy! hahahah. What is really hard is my family. They keep saying my doctors suck, and I have had 2 of the best orthopedics in the area. I think my family and friends who are bugging me about "why" another surgery is the hardest thing. They do not mean to hurt me but they just cannot understand. Then it starts getting to me and I question everything as well. So some words of encouragement would be great. mainly I am freaking out about anesthesia. I have not had any problems whatsoever with it so i know I am not thinking rationale either. Would love to hear from anyone. I can be emailed at [email protected] as well/.Thanks everyone!

Offline JessJess28

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« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2013, 06:25:48 PM »
You know Monday is the 6th too?  ;) I hope everything goes well. I had the same fears and thoughts before my surgery 5 weeks ago. I think it's normal. I was worried about the anesthesia because I have kids. I have been under a few times before and never had problems either. Sorry your family isn't that supportive :(. I do know people that do not understand the surgery I had. I found it helpful to seek out people that were familiar with my surgery and had positive outcomes. This is a great place to start. Hang in there! You will be on the other side recovering soon. Post your post-op diary here too.  Good luck!
History of Dislocations
12/08 Scope
3/2013 TTO, Lateral Release, Medial Reefing, Grade III Patella lesion.
11/2013 TTO L knee, LR, Medial Reefing, R knee screw removal

Offline Mistyd

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« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2013, 04:42:56 PM »
Emotional sabotage!! Yikes!!  I hate it when that happens :P

Ok., so, first, you have a GREAT average considering you have never had problems under anesthesia (so why would this time be different, right? ;)).  Second, these fears/concerns are probably due to the stress your body has been under...5x prior!  Each surgery takes a toll on the body no matter how 'minor' it may be (I'm going in on the 16th of this month for a 3rd & 4th surgery in as many I understand ;)) and the whiplash it gives emotionally and physically can be undercover until times like now.  So understand that you might want to increase your vitamin D intake (great for alleviating the 'blues' and emotional stress - and you are under that for sure), try to get some sleep, watch funny movies to help bolster the positive ions and feelings (and take your mind of the fears of surgery), and..... take to your anesthesiologist, should you want to go with a spinal and twilight sleep (not really under, but very dreamy like), he/she might be totally willing to do that instead.

Also, ask for something well before you get wheeled in ;)  Tell the nurses you are under extreme anxiety, they should be more than happy to give you a dose of happy juice to calm you down.  I have already prayed for you, but will continue to do so.  I FULLY believe in the power of prayer (and who I pray to ;)) and His ability and love to help us through our difficult times.  He is listening to your prayers as well - say some for you benefit  ;)

Try to look on the positives sides, you have been there done that 5x before, so again, this time should be a piece of cake.  Those that have never been through such things (your  family) have a difficult time understanding the quandrys those of us in our situations have, the stress, pain, struggles etc.  They probably don't realize their words are wounding or causing fear.  Tell them, you need positive people around you - most of the time letting them know what they are doing is causing you harm will change how they talk around you.  Communication ;) gotta love it ;D

Good luck, keep us posted after your surgery!

God Bless (I mean that!),

Living for the Audience of ONE: Jesus Christ

'95 -knee injury
5-'04 -knee scope cleaned up grade III tears
12-'12-knee scope cleaned up tears
2-'13-harvested cartilage for upcoming ACI
...awaiting ACI

Offline Phantom_cw

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« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2013, 09:35:19 PM »
Hi Treeburn,

I realise that you've gone for surgery today but I wanted to post anyway :)

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it at the moment. I haven't had any surgery yet but I'm certain that it is imminent, and I am finding that already I am quite nervous. I would personally say that I can't see why your second third or in your case 6th surgery should be any less scary and so I'm sending hugs your way. When you are in chronic pain it is hard for others to imagine that it is there all the time in both a mental and physical capacity. I think that you end up thinking about it so much of the time that even though a family think they are trying to be helpful by getting you to deal with the doctors or vice versa that it can become another thing to try to cope with. I know that they want you to be well and to stop hurting but the thought of arguing,  complaining in an official capacity and some days even just holding your ground with a doctor can be emotionally exhausting. I have personally had a long fight (or at least that's how it feels to me) with GP's that I am now very anxious when attending appointments because so many have ended with me leaving dissapointed and often in tears. 

The good news is you've recognised your panic as exactly that. Panic is hard and it makes us think irrationally about our fears and anxieties. But you have made a very important step in letting yourself know that its panic. Panic is a normal response of a body and mind that is under prolonged stress and pain. Coming from someone who's had a lot of panic attacks over the years I know it can be easy to panic about panic. But now you know it is panic you can do something about it, acknowledging it as a normal response for your situation and also knowing that the panic will pass can help take the edge off it (it's something I have to work hard at but the more you practice acknowledging it then imagining it floating or draining away then the easier it will become). Coming here and talking about it is a good first step, there are some very supportive people here :)

Whist it will be an obstacle to overcome I think Misty has some great advice and postive thoughts about doing lots of things to help look after yourself mentally and to try and stop the
Emotional sabotage!!
(BTW that's a great way of putting it Misty :) ) Talking things through with your surgeon and anaesthetist (sp?) will be a good way to put your mind at rest. It might be worth asking to see a counselor if you don't already.

Take some time to take care of yourself. Treat yourself in lots of little ways if you have the time and energy, its easy for people with physical problems to forget to spend time caring for our inner selves too.

Keep us updated Treeburn and let us know how it goes. I'll be thinking of you :)
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
-Albert Camus

Offline Treeburn

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« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2013, 05:27:37 PM »
Hi everyone! I made it! First of all , thank you so much for the kindness you all took in writing me. It helped so much and is just so sweet! All went fine and I am done with surgery! Now time to go back to PT. But thank you all so very very much for your kind words! You all rock!