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Author Topic: Three year knee "anniversary", trying to be hopeful  (Read 2853 times)

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Offline gimpyknee

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Three year knee "anniversary", trying to be hopeful
« on: January 15, 2013, 06:26:23 PM »
Hi Everyone,
Three years ago today, 1/15/10, I blew out my knee. The surgery to repair it led to arthrofibrosis, and after finding Dr. Frank Noyes on this website, I went to him for help. In October 2011 he did the arthroscopic debridement and MUA which has allowed me to regain back all of the flexion I had lost. Little did I know that it would be so terribly hard and slow to regain the muscle in my leg that shriveled up from the lack of proper flexion. 
I have arthritis in the affected knee, so the muscle weakness makes it very painful and I have to use a cane for stability because I'm so weak, but also to take a load off my joint. Suffice it to say I long for my old life, and I want to be able to walk again.

Anyway, I am trying to cultivate hope today, so I wanted to share my favorite poem on the topic. I hope it helps others as it helps me, even if only for this moment.

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune, without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

--Emily Dickinson

Best wishes to all,
Lisa
Multiple subluxations/dislocations right patella in childhood, teens
1988 LR - right knee
Jan. 2010 - tore MPFL away from bone - right knee
Feb. 2010- MPFL anchored back on
May 2010 - LOA and MUA (not getting ROM gains)
May 2011 - AF diagnosis
Oct. 2011 - debridement, MUA

Offline kcknee

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Re: Three year knee "anniversary", trying to be hopeful
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2013, 07:14:53 PM »
Hi Lisa-

A bit rougher than your classic poem, but I find myself playing this song a lot whenever I feel overwhelmed by everything with my leg and feel like I'm falling too deep into self pity. A simple skiing accident on NYE 2008 required an ACL replacement with complications that has had left me battling surgeons to get treated for compartment syndrome, arthrofibrosis and nerve issues. Every time I feel like giving up I start listening to this song and pick myself up again and continue to fight on. This is Soulshine by Warren Haynes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGocctufDd8

Kristin
12/31/08 - Skiing injury L knee
6/1/09 - ACL stump removed from joint
8/31/09 - ACLr - Hamstring Graft
12/21/09 - Ant Fasciotomy 
8/26/10 - Anterior Interval Release
12/6/10, 5/5/11, 12/22/11 - Fasciotomy
12/7/12 - Nerve Decompression
6/3/13(m), 7/29/13(l), 12/13/13(m & foot) 2/3/14(l) Fasciotomy

Offline gimpyknee

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Re: Three year knee "anniversary", trying to be hopeful
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2013, 07:39:51 PM »
Thank you Kristin, that's an awesome song! Unfortunately, I think my 14 year old washing machine may have ended its life toward the end of the song - what the heck was that noise it just made?! - so I'll have to listen to it again after I stop freaking out about the fact that we can't afford a new one! Seriously though, it made me cry, but in a good way. :)

Lisa
Multiple subluxations/dislocations right patella in childhood, teens
1988 LR - right knee
Jan. 2010 - tore MPFL away from bone - right knee
Feb. 2010- MPFL anchored back on
May 2010 - LOA and MUA (not getting ROM gains)
May 2011 - AF diagnosis
Oct. 2011 - debridement, MUA

Offline Brambledog

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Re: Three year knee "anniversary", trying to be hopeful
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2013, 08:23:51 PM »
Hi,

I love poetry, I think it expresses the emotions you just can't quite find the words for yourself...that one is lovely, thank you. I'm two years into my knee journey, and this song is one of my favourites for those moments - its sort of sad and haunting, but hopeful too, and the words seem to touch and sooth that particular sore spot. Makes me smile again. The link is only to a snippet as I can't find it on YouTube!! Capercaillie are a Scottish band I have loved since my youth.

http://muzetunes.com/playback.mp3?f=I&c=JBVNG0J9fEkjSYgALASobCoH81b2PRPV0l0NaWbYj_A=

Capercaillie "You Will Rise Again"

Cold December dawn
The party's over and the thrill is gone
Tears are at your feet
They're running down the empty street

But I know for certain
Every time you fall
That you will rise again
Above it all

Fly the way you do
The way you're dreaming when love is new
And try to understand
It couldn't last the way you planned

But I know for certain
Every time you fall
That you will rise again
Above it all

You'll wake to a different drum
In a place to call your own
Your world is shaken, but a day will come
For a dream to take you home

But I know for certain
Every time you fall
That you will rise again
Above it all

(Apologies to Capercaillie for nicking them!)

All the best,

Brams  ;)
2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline gimpyknee

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Re: Three year knee "anniversary", trying to be hopeful
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2013, 06:48:57 PM »
Thank you, Brams. I will try to find the whole song somewhere. I have actually heard of Capercaillie! I believe I have a "world music" CD with a song or two by them. I'm from the U.S., so for me, Scottish bands  fall under world music! :P

Lisa
Multiple subluxations/dislocations right patella in childhood, teens
1988 LR - right knee
Jan. 2010 - tore MPFL away from bone - right knee
Feb. 2010- MPFL anchored back on
May 2010 - LOA and MUA (not getting ROM gains)
May 2011 - AF diagnosis
Oct. 2011 - debridement, MUA

Offline JTB

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Re: Three year knee "anniversary", trying to be hopeful
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2013, 07:42:28 PM »
Hey GK,

Know some about what you are writing about. Have been on my own year long journey related to the unyielding and unhealing knee and also am here today casting about for answers and hope- Thanks for sharing your story and the poem and giving me hope.

Have been doing much "soul searching" lately, so your timing is perfect. Wish I could give you more than this... the best I can do is to say, I know some measure of your pain and hope.

KCKNEE. Thx for the soul song link. Have been learning to play guitar (badly) this last year and am always looking to listen to/learn sunny tunes.
Bike racer electing sport-med scope Jan 2011 for patella catch: shave patella, MFC and trochlea (with sneaky lateral release) Grade 3 findings. @ 1 year, CRPS, pain inhibition, muscle atrophy, osteopenia, sudden bilateral chondromalacia. in free-fall 2 1/2 years.
Today on Strava riding well.

Offline gimpyknee

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Re: Three year knee "anniversary", trying to be hopeful
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2013, 02:43:56 AM »
Hi JTB,
You give me more than you know when you tell me that I've helped to give you hope. Sending warm fuzzies to you and your knee...

Lisa
Multiple subluxations/dislocations right patella in childhood, teens
1988 LR - right knee
Jan. 2010 - tore MPFL away from bone - right knee
Feb. 2010- MPFL anchored back on
May 2010 - LOA and MUA (not getting ROM gains)
May 2011 - AF diagnosis
Oct. 2011 - debridement, MUA