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Author Topic: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.  (Read 17426 times)

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Offline Brambledog

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #15 on: February 10, 2013, 12:16:37 PM »
Oh my goodness yes... :( Chalk me up on the list.

I've had CRPS for 18 months, didnt get the aggressive treatment I should have had in the early months, and it spread from my left knee to my whole leg. That was bad enough, but two weeks ago things took a major turn for the worse after my physio tried to get me walking more upright, and now my knee is so swollen and I can hardly walk. I've been stuck upstairs a lot of the time (no loo downstairs), and the pain is just awful so much of the time. Like with most of us in this boat, nights are the worst - I can't get comfortable and I keep waking from the pain.

My situation is no worse than any of you, my pain no more intense. I do feel for every one of you that has to deal with this day in day out, it is soul-destroying.

It's lovely to know you are all reaching out to others coping with this, and offering comfort and solace. I hope we all find the strength we need from knowing we are not alone. It does help a bit  :)

Brams  ;)
2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline atleastmycaneiscool

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2013, 12:47:55 AM »
YES.  All of it, YES.  I fell at work nearly two years ago and could never have imagined the rabbit hole this entire situation has turned into! 

My first workers' comp doctor told me to "walk it off" for 4 months...by the end, he wouldn't even return phone calls, he'd just have a service deliver buckets of vicodin to my house.  My employer's insurance told them I had to go back to work because I had a desk job...no knee required, apparently.  Problem was, my job entailed a significant amount of higher brain function, which can't be done when either stoned or in tears from pain.   I felt like a total loser..."Sorry, can't do my job because I'm a sissy or I'm stupid."  I went from being a fairly confident and happy person to being a blob on the couch who couldn't focus enough to finish a book.  I finally had to get an attorney involved. The lawyer helped me find a good OS, and he was amazing.  Diagnosed a dislocated patella and I was scheduled for a lateral release and chondroplasty within a week.  After the scope, doc said he was confident I should be able to avoid a second surgery as long as we were focused and diligent with the recovery PT.  Things started looking up....then immediately came crashing down around me when the OS passed away rather suddenly about 4 weeks after my procedure.  Because it's a workers comp case, his office ran into problems getting another doctor approved to take over my case.  So for 8 weeks my recovery stalled.  By the time they were able to get another doctor in to see me, I was past the point of no return.  The insurance company, however, wouldn't approve additional care because I was so far out from my procedure.  Again, I had my attorney step in and get approval for me to see yet another doctor.  New doc is also amazing...however, patella now officially considered "detached" and in I went for knee surgery Round 2.  I'm now 8 weeks post-op from a MPFL reconstruction, chondroplasty, and I forget what the other part was called....involved shaving off some of my meniscus.    I am back in PT and just last week started walking with a cane.  My biggest problem now is that I have almost zero muscle in my upper thigh.  Two years of not walking properly (if at all) has really screwed up my leg and that is wreaking havoc on my recovery.  Ugh....baby steps, I guess.

Sadly, that's just the medical part. I am pretty sure my husband is going to leave me.  He has made a point to let me know that he is miserable and hates that our life isn't what it was.  I have two dogs...he is a cat person.  For the last 2 years, he is the only one who can walk them and he resents it most of the time.  I used to be very social and when we weren't going out I was throwing dinner parties at the house.  None of that happens now.  I miss sleep.  I miss hiking.  I miss walking my dogs.  I miss walking on sand.  I miss adventuring.  I miss feeling alive.  Yes, it sounds overly dramatic, but I don't know how else to say it.   I'm tired of the pity looks whenever I have to prop up my leg in a restaurant so I don't end up in tears by the time dinner is served.  I'm tired of feeling like a huge albatross around my husband's neck because I can't do the things we used to love anymore.  I'm tired of feeling like a loser because "its just a knee" and "so many people have it worse".  I'm tired of being so f'ing TIRED all the time.  And mostly, I'm tired of talking about it and just want to get on with my life again.

So YES, I understand where you're coming from.  You are not alone.  You are not crazy.  In addition to the support shown here, all I can add is CALL A LAWYER.  You should NOT have to be stuck doing PT at your place of employment.  To call it a conflict of interest on their part is a gross understatement.  You deserve an advocate and some peace in knowing someone can (if only a little) take on some of the pressure.  Best of luck in your recovery!!

Offline Brambledog

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2013, 09:18:54 AM »
YES.  All of it, YES.  I fell at work nearly two years ago and could never have imagined the rabbit hole this entire situation has turned into!.

Sadly, that's just the medical part. I am pretty sure my husband is going to leave me.  He has made a point to let me know that he is miserable and hates that our life isn't what it was.  I have two dogs...he is a cat person.  For the last 2 years, he is the only one who can walk them and he resents it most of the time.  I used to be very social and when we weren't going out I was throwing dinner parties at the house.  None of that happens now.  I miss sleep.  I miss hiking.  I miss walking my dogs.  I miss walking on sand.  I miss adventuring.  I miss feeling alive.  Yes, it sounds overly dramatic, but I don't know how else to say it.   I'm tired of the pity looks whenever I have to prop up my leg in a restaurant so I don't end up in tears by the time dinner is served.  I'm tired of feeling like a huge albatross around my husband's neck because I can't do the things we used to love anymore.  I'm tired of feeling like a loser because "its just a knee" and "so many people have it worse".  I'm tired of being so f'ing TIRED all the time.  And mostly, I'm tired of talking about it and just want to get on with my life again.

Oh it is crap, isn't it. My husband has been pretty good overall, but it is hard when I know he is feeling that life kicked him too with this, and he is the one picking up all the pieces. He gets frustrated sometimes, and I just feel guilty the whole time... The restaurant thing really chimed with me - I did this just the other night on Valentines when we actually went out for a meal. He had booked it (we never normally do anything) and even though I wasn't having a good day knee-wise I couldn't let him down, so we went. It was a lovely meal, but oh my leg... Every time we had to wait for a course to arrive I was fidgeting, trying to get more comfortable, and in the end had to sideline a chair from another table, switch places, and there was me with my leg up. People staring, and judging, and (as you said) prob thinking what's the big deal, good grief. Oh well.

The crutches drive me spare as well, because even if I can get myself up the damn stairs to the loo, or make my own cuppa, I can't carry anything. Lunchtime is worst! I feel I Should be tidying but can't carry stuff, just order the kids about again, sigh  :-\

Hang in there. We do understand. I started a thread ages ago called 'knee pain, the third party in my relationship' which has a lot of this kind of stuff. Makes it a tiny bit easier knowing you're not going crazy and others are dealing with this.

Good luck, and I hope you can finally get started with a good recovery now. Baby steps is darn right!

Good luck everyone,

Brams  ;)
2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline Phantom_cw

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #18 on: March 04, 2013, 11:53:34 AM »
Hi there cherokee,

I'm sending my thoughts out to you with your situation and I hope you find some relief soon. It's been a while since your posts and I was wondering if you ever got anywhere with it? We're all here hoping the best for you. If any of us have any progress it can really brighten up our day and if not then we can continue to be there for you. If you give up on the med staff, then one thing is sure you don't need to give up on the people on this forum. :D

Quote
The crutches drive me spare as well, because even if I can get myself up the damn stairs to the loo, or make my own cuppa, I can't carry anything. Lunchtime is worst! I feel I Should be tidying but can't carry stuff, just order the kids about again, sigh 

I've found keeping two small backpacks at either end of the stairs particularly useful when I'm crutch bound, that way I can put any bits in that I need to take up and down stairs. As I'm not particularly organised at home I've found this a great way to cut down the amount of times I have to go up and down. I've also started borrowing my partners thermos flask so I can take my coffee around with me and don't have to keep getting up and down,  and I fill up juice bottles and keep them dotted around the house. I've considered buying one of the crutch pods but I don't know how stable they are. I don't use the crutches too often so I'm not sure it's worth the money when the backpacks are working at the moment. Also  I've started stashing pain meds in two places upstairs and two downstairs so I can be confident that there should be some to hand at any given point. I work away from home at night shifts so I have some pain meds and spare inhalers in my drawer there, and I also keep some at my friends house, and try to throw some spares in every bag I use frequently (I virtually never leave the house without a shoulder bag or backpack) just so I don't have to worry if I get stuck somewhere longer than I planned or get an acute pain attack I know there should be some relief close by. My friend invested in a mini fridge for cool packs and drinks upstairs. I get tired of analysing everything in such detail but anyone with disability or chronic pain will understand this nearly neurotic level of planning.   :o

Anywho.... give us an update Cherokee we're all rootin' for you.
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
-Albert Camus

Offline Brambledog

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #19 on: March 04, 2013, 02:27:00 PM »
Hi Cherokeegal,

As Phantom says, itd be lovely to hear from you, andi do hope you are feeling a bit easier these days, and able to enjoy things more. So let us know.

Phantom - Lol, yes I've worked out the crutch tricks now, and have a bag I wear to carry stuff around. I make a big flask of tea in the morning and have it in the living room with me. I also keep meds upstairs and down, it has saved me from missing a dose a few times!

I'm doing better at the moment, still having to use crutches most of the time, but I can do a few steps now without them and am working hard to try and increase that slowly. The pain isn't as bad (mostly, lol), but I do have to be careful not to cross the invisible line into 'overdid it' territory. I've reduced my nerve meds amd it has made no difference to the pain, so I'm realising that they haven't been doing much, as suspected. Slow and steady...and hopeful :)

All the best everyone, hope things are improving.

Brams  ;)
2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline Phantom_cw

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #20 on: March 05, 2013, 04:32:21 PM »
Brams- I hope I didn't sound patronising just super keen to help if I can. For a relatively smart person there's quite a lot of common sense solutions that I miss in life ;D
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
-Albert Camus

Offline Brambledog

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #21 on: March 05, 2013, 05:25:48 PM »
Lol, no offence taken at all!  :) All suggestions are helpful, you never know when someone will have a little trick that really helps to improve your day...

Brams  ;)
2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline MoltenSkyn

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #22 on: March 10, 2013, 11:00:49 PM »
Phantom - Lol, yes I've worked out the crutch tricks now, and have a bag I wear to carry stuff around. I make a big flask of tea in the morning and have it in the living room with me. I also keep meds upstairs and down, it has saved me from missing a dose a few times!

I work on a 2nd floor and having a bag (backpack I guess) to carry stuff may sound too obvious as phantom says but It hadn't occurred to me -_- ... I sometimes bring a cane to work to fight the stairs and doing so holding my small purse is really hard, specially when it is  heavy beacuse yes... I'm wise enough to bring my lunch upstairs...

I'm really happy (relatively) to see that I'm not alone in this. I feel so depresed somedays... and yess, people can be really... I'm 22 and whenever my knees & sciatica condition is mentioned they go "OMG but you're so young, that doesn't make sense! that is really weird, that shouldn't be happening to you" and I'm like "oh, you don't say".

I'd love to hear more tricks and tips. Specially if someone knows the best way to climb stairs. Right now when I don't bring my cane I do it with my arms. Yeah, I use my arms and it looks as if I'm doing rapel or that I'm scared of heights. I trully don't care how I look, (but oh yes, the co workers laugh and make faces all the time...) I will take care of my knees because I'm grateful that I can at least go up the stairs... for now...

Yeah, sorry... I want to be positive and happy.
Hugs to you all and keep it up! I know we can get through this!!!  :D


Offline TheGator22

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #23 on: July 26, 2013, 11:25:32 AM »
Hey i read this post and it got me very emotional and I feel for you so much. I hope everything works out.

Ive had knee problems for 5-6 years now which started when i was in year 10 at High school and now im  third year out of school and the pain has got gradually worse even after surgery.

I  first started getting problems with my right knee which was due to maltracking problems. I played heaps of  Football, Tennis and did competitive long distance running. After i started noticing the feeling and uncomfort of my right patella maltracking,  general soreness around the meniscus and under the kneecap the orthopedic surgeon sent me to a physiotherapist. The physiotherapist gave me a series of exercises that was aiming to ' loosen ' the IT band, strengthen the VMO and increase general flexibility. The physio told me to have a week off and that wasnt the right advice at all. I did have a week off but it wasnt enough. My pains still remained and they never suggested the idea of going swimming as swimming is the best exercise for weak knees etc.

The physio didnt work and my surgeon opted for a lateral release/knee arthoscopy where they released the knee tendon to get rid of the discomfort I had with the maltracking.

After this surgery it still hasnt been the same and my knees have actually got worse. its been two years since surgery and my knees feel worse than they did before surgery. I cant run any more without pain that begins where the scar is on the surgery. I get soreness under my kneecap on the left and especially the right side ( top of the fibia ) . I get soreness on my patella, my meniscus  and slight pain at the back of my knee.

The two worst parts is how red/inflammed my knees get and how sensititive/uncomfortable my scar is. If my scar gets contacted in anyway, my knee feels like it is bleeding inside and the pain unbearable. Ever since the surgery my right knee feels so much weaker. It feels like there is something missing and there is a hole where my scar was. WHAT ARE EVERYONES THOUGHT OF THE SITUATION ??? HOW DO I GET RID OF THE SCAR SENSITIVITY AND GENERAL PAIN ? SWIMMING ?

I recently had an MRI and it came up with these two results. It said i had  moderate thickening of the patella attachment of the patellafemoral ligament, a small portion of which extends into the lateral aspect of the patellofemoral joint.  The Adjacent soft tissue/Hoffa's fat space oedema. Ive seen my second surgeon about what showed up and he thinks it could be a ' Nerouma Nerve ' issue that is irritating my wound. He told me that he wants me to tap on the scar for 4-5 weeks and if the pain goes away then no further action needs to be taken on fat pad and patellafemoral ligament. I've been taping on it for a two weeks and i havent noticed much improvement at all. He said if it doesnt work and the pain is still present,  he will inject local anaesthetic and steroids which will ' hopefully ease the pain '. He was talking about getting the hamstring graft and reconstructing the medial patella femoral ligament. MY MAIN CONCERN IS THE HOLE AND WEAKNESS/ANXIETY i feel on the scar and around it. WHAT IS EVERYONES THOUGHTS ??

Also my left knee is having maltracking issues aswell and its at the stage of my right knee 3-4 years ago. What is the best way to go about treatment for it ? Is taping the patella constantly a good idea ?

Also my mental state is becoming a huge worry. From not being able to run and play  my love of sport has caused a complete breakdown. I have developed bad anxiety issues, extreme depression where i contemplate suicide ocassionally because of the pain i feel and none of my friends understand and take it as a joke. They mock me when i complain about it and dont realise I cry everynight because of it. I find it hard to concentrate and be comfortable in a social situation because im constantly worrying about it and the ' scars hole ' makes me feel nervous and anxious. I really need this pain and alignment problems to go away. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP AND GIVE AS MUCH ADVICE as you can because i dont know how long i can last.


Hope you are okay Cherokee.

xx
     


     





Offline speedsteve

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #24 on: December 25, 2013, 04:57:17 AM »
So many great people here.

Offline Redwing

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #25 on: December 29, 2013, 07:02:54 PM »
Cherokeegal hasn't posted on this thread for well over a year.  Let's hope she's better.
2001: first referral to OS for osteoarthritis in knees after about 5 years of OA pain.  Told I was too young for knee replacement.
July 2009 Bilateral arthroscopy
Jan 2010 TKR-right knee

Offline thegirlracer

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Re: I am just so tired of hurting all the time.
« Reply #26 on: February 13, 2014, 07:59:01 PM »
You are not just a number to us.

Patella fractures make up only 1% of all fractures on record. Few of us know the extreme pain this causes, and I'm shocked it's not on the top ten painful fractures list...probably because it's not very common.

I do feel you. I broke my patella in two places last year. I haven't had a solid night's sleep in 8 months. I'm tired all the time, and still in pain.

My idiot ortho told me to walk after only 4 weeks. After 9 months I am finding out the fractures never healed, I have terrible build up of scar tissues, and severe cartilage damage. I get to start the process all over again with arth. surgery and possible surgery to the bone, which may not ever heal.

Half of my co-workers thinking I'm faking, as many like to equate their simple knee scopes to my injury and are now continually asking "Why are you still limping?" UM because my knee cap is still broken and it hurts!!!!!!

Have you tried Tramadol for an oral pain medication?
How about all-natural Traumeel for the swelling?
What about Lidocaine patches for instant relief of the area?

These were some things that have helped me over the past year. Hope you are feeling much better. *hugs* Be strong. Along your journey, you will meet more of us that DO know how you feel. If anything, you aren't showing the pain enough. =)















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