Banner - Hide this banner





Author Topic: Lost, Depressed - need help  (Read 14689 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Brambledog

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • Posts: 1079
  • Liked: 10
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #75 on: November 24, 2012, 05:42:15 PM »
You're so right Phoebe - I know just what you mean, I guess it's similar to what I was trying to say about my job. You get to a point where hoping for your knees to 'get better' just means you are wasting precious time and emotional resources... Constant disappointment isn't good for the soul  :-\

We're booking a holiday for next year - been putting it off for ages, can't afford much, but a week together somewhere will still be a holiday 8)

Take care everyone, it's a nasty night here in the UK!

Brams  ;)
2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline thommo404

  • Regular Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 121
  • Liked: 6
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #76 on: November 25, 2012, 05:35:24 AM »
Thanks guy's.  Just having a real bad couple of days.

Been to the pool the last 2 days with the family.  I am paying for it big time pain wise.  But was good to get out, relax and have a laugh.


As far as work goes I love my job.  But I am willing to make the choice if I can't be operational again.  I have options inside the organisation I can go to.

Brams I know what you mean about a movie night.  On a Saturday night we have what we call family movie night.  We have been lucky for the last few months because every Sat night they have had a kids movie on at 630pm.  So works well for our 3yo.  We enjoy it as well cause we spend time as a family.


Thanks again for letting me have a spray.  Just 1 more week!!!!!!!

Offline Brambledog

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • Posts: 1079
  • Liked: 10
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #77 on: November 25, 2012, 12:15:07 PM »
You're welcome Thommo  ;D glad you're having a slightly better day...

Bad days happen to us all, and weeks where nothing goes well and you can't see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel are things we've all suffered. It's horrible and miserable and venting your feelings on here is most definitely a GOOD THING 8)

Ah, movie night....we watched Top Gun last night, the kids were riveted! Bit of fruity language but pretty tame compared to most 12+ films these days! Glad you're family enjoys it as well - funny how it's the simple stuff that they enjoy doing with us...

Have a good day.

Brams  ;)
2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline thommo404

  • Regular Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 121
  • Liked: 6
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #78 on: November 26, 2012, 05:46:15 AM »
Yeah it's funny how much I enjoy watching a simple kids movie.  We watched Finding Nemo.  I love seeing them relax and enjoy it.  Top Gun is an oldie but a goodie.  I haven't watched it for a while now.

I loved it after my first surgery in June last year.  Cause I was not sleeping well at all I was able to stay up and watch every minute of every stage of the Tour De France that Australia's own Cadel Evans won.  Wish I had cycling to watch all the time!

I have a case officer at work and also an outside provider that helps with my return to work.  He came out to see me today because I have moved to a new office and needed to make sure I was set up properly.  He said that he happened to have dinner with my new surgeon on Saturday night.  He asked him about me and the surgeon replied with "ah yes.  I will try my best with his knee but......"


So will have to wait till Monday next week.



thommo

Offline Brambledog

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • Posts: 1079
  • Liked: 10
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #79 on: November 26, 2012, 09:52:22 AM »
Hi Thommo,

OMG what about patient confidentiality!  :o You are going to worry now about what he'll say, but try not to read too much into it (tricky I suspect, lol). I suppose at worst you can be prepared for some negative stuff, at best you can be pleasantly surprised!

I LOVE Le Tour!! Absolutely gripping stuff. I've read some really good books (fiction and non) about it too that I dip into when I'm suffering a bout of Tour-loss. The boys are just amazing, so brave and resilient, shame so much money in it now and big sponsorship, in some ways has made it less about the individual riders, and they are all amazing, not just the top names from Sky etc. I'd love to go and see a stage, preferably near the top of one of the big mountains - no hiking for me now though! Have to be one of those motor homes you see parked dangerously near precipices.....

Finding Nemo is cute. Mine loved that when they were a bit younger, we enjoyed it too!

Have a good day,

Brams  ;)
« Last Edit: November 26, 2012, 01:30:38 PM by Brambledog »
2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline Lottiefox

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2393
  • Liked: 16
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #80 on: November 26, 2012, 11:55:01 AM »
Thommo,

Your surgeon needs a lesson in confidentiality. I'd be FURIOUS.  :-X  Good luck with the appointment, hang on in there...

Top Gun is one my all time classics. I feel the need.....the need for a speed..... ;D

Lottie
Bilateral patella OA since 2009, no surgeries.
Euflexxa working well x3 to current
Right forefoot CRPS post fusion surgery 2011
Refusing to let the ailing parts stop me....

Offline thommo404

  • Regular Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 121
  • Liked: 6
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #81 on: November 27, 2012, 07:33:17 AM »
Lottie/Brams,

I am not too concerned about the confidentiality.  Doesn't bother me with him talking to my case officer about it.  Anyone else and I would have a problem.

Brams you just had to throw that one in there about Team SKY cause you are from the UK and I'm from Australia didn't you!! ;)
I have to admit it was great for the sport to have an Aussie win in 2011 and a British rider win in 2012.  But 2012 was such a boring race.  Too many km's time trialling.  I think it would have been a different race had Froome been on a different team and ridden against Wiggins.

Sorry probably sounds like I am POM bashing but I'm not.


Monday can't come soon enough.  Really, really sore this afternoon.

Offline Brambledog

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • Posts: 1079
  • Liked: 10
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #82 on: November 27, 2012, 10:05:16 AM »
Hi Thommo,

Why yes you are indeed POM bashing!!!!!  :o ;D I like Wiggins immensely, but I'm well aware that Froome could have won it, and it was team tactics all the way... The time trialling thing was strange, there was a LOT. It's exciting when your man Wiggo is probably going to win and extend his lead  8) but not the most exciting part of the Tour for me. I like the proper all out race with no particular emphasis, some cruel climbs, killer downhills, the odd TT, the odd sprint race... I really felt for Cavendish, I like him although he is a bit of a loose cannon - at least he and Wiggo are real and not all management speak like some of the others. The way the race was done in 2012 really seemed unfair, with him just helping to get Wiggins to the front every time and not allowed to go for the sprints much. He's an awesome sprinter. I really felt for him in the Olympics when everything just crashed and burnt after he'd almost been promised that as a reward for sacrificing his Tour dreams. Madness tho! I'm not sure the whole Team Sky thing is healthy for the Tour. It's going to end up like our Premiereship football - a few teams with all the money having the best riders and making for a too-heavy (more boring) race. Cadel is ok as well.  ;D

Hope your soreness eases and you get a bit of a break this afternoon...

Take care,

Brams  ;)
2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline thommo404

  • Regular Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 121
  • Liked: 6
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #83 on: November 28, 2012, 06:24:02 AM »
Don't get me wrong I really like Wiggo.  He had an awesome year.  As for Cav well he is a bit of a loose cannon.  But I love watching him sprint.  Reminds me of Robbie McEwen in his prime years.  It was disappointing for him to lose the Olympics but it was also good to see him not get  it all his own way and have to fight for it.  Just a shame to see Vino win it.  Can't stand that man and never could.

Can't agree more about Team Sky.  Great concept when it started but not sure it is the way to go.  I hope GreenEdge our Aussie owned team dowsn't go the same way.  Awesome to read that Stuey O'Grady is going to ride the Tour again this year and equal big George's record of 17.  Stuey has said he will probably ride in 2014 as well to make it 18 Tours.  That is just crazy.

I could talk cycling all day!

Had a crap night with the pain.  Seems the same again this afternoon.  Hopefully it settles down a bit.

Offline Brambledog

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • Posts: 1079
  • Liked: 10
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #84 on: November 28, 2012, 09:05:59 AM »
Hi Thommo,

GreenEdge are a good solid team, don't know that the management are quite so crazy power-hungry and soulless as the Sky lot. So you might be ok there! I wish more than anything that they werent using race radios. Allegedly kept for safety reasons (yeah right) they just mean the management aspect of the race is the biggest thing, and they control what their team does from those crazy team cars... I am completely with you on Vino. Horrible horrible man. As he crossed the line, me and my husband both stood up shouting Nooooooooo!!!! I had to switch over when he was talking after the race or I might have said something I shouldn't in front of the kids, lol. Couldn't believe it when I heard that Stuart was going to ride again, the man is a quiet legend, doesn't get the hype of some other riders, but is all the better for it.

I think it is crazy that anyone rides the Tour more than once anyway - its such a punishing, cruel and crushing race I'd think any rider needed therapy for years afterwards... But they do, they say it's like a drug in itself. Which I can believe because even watching it feels a bit like that, the noise and colour, the tremendous fight between individuals, all the hype. And of course the legends themselves for us over here - the original Channel 4 commentators, Phil Liggett (who I think did his 40th Tour in 2012) and Paul Sherwen (who suffered over the mountain stages of 7 Tours himself!) who now present the coverage for ITV. I just love it. It's the best kind of theatre.

Ooh, don't get me started on cycling talk! Mind you, it's as good a way as passing time as any  ;)

Sorry last night was bad again. I had a bad start but then slept anyway for some reason, the Lyrica seem to make me very drowsy at the moment which is odd. Had terrible pains in the fat pad area, and more shock type pains in a few random places, but then it seemed to give up. Pain is a terrible thing to try and understand, can't believe that with all our technological advances, we still can't ease it....

Hope yours settles down today and you sleep a bit better tonight. I've got another quiet day here, the floods are going down a bit now round us so the roads are opening up again, but my mum can't make it over to babysit for my choir session this afternoon so I've had to miss it. Grrrr.

Take it easy!

Brams  ;)
2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline thommo404

  • Regular Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 121
  • Liked: 6
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #85 on: December 01, 2012, 12:57:43 PM »
Hi Brams,

We get Phil and Paul doing the majority of our commentary as well.  I love listening to them.  Paul is so good to listen to with his in depth knowledge of all of the climbs and roads and you can really tell he knows some of those climbs so well from suffering over them himself.

Well Thursday night was quite a good night for me.  I slept quite well.  Went to physio on Friday and again was quite sore afterwards but I knew that would be the case.  I spoke with them about what I should expect on Monday from the surgeon.  They agreed that if he says I should try physio for a little longer and see what happens then I should say no and ask for something else.  Like I have said and they agreed I will have been going for 21 months and physio has been a constant thing and it is not working.  We have tried a hell of a lot of things and still try new things.  I think something surgically needs doing.

Like my physio says they write an artical about someone's issue once a year and he thinks I will be the one.

Friday night was a shocker to sleep cause of the pain but our current house we are renting till our new one is built in Feb has no air con and it didn't get below 24 degrees last night after getting to 36 Friday.  So it was damn hot.

Another 34 today but a bit cooler tonight.  And only 27 tomorrow which is lucky cause my 10yo has cricket from 9am till 12pm.

It is midnight as I write this and I am still awake.  It is 1 more day to go before I hopefully get an answer.  I just can't wait!!!

Offline Brambledog

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • Posts: 1079
  • Liked: 10
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #86 on: December 01, 2012, 05:09:53 PM »
Hi Thommo,

Glad you a managed to sleep and physio went as well as it could... ::) As for answers, hopefully not long to go then by the time you read this!! I will have everything crossed that you get the news you want - although as the type of news we all really want is unlikely, lol, I'll hope that you at least get a plan! You don't really want to be 'the one' for the article I know, but at least it means you are 'interesting' to them! ;)

I'm pleased you get (and like) Paul and Phil too down there, they do have that ability to make the Tour come alive, even though they must surely have seen and heard it all before! Paul certainly has that way of conveying how awful some of the stages are to a rider. He lives it again... :o

I've heard you're having a major heat wave, how mean that you can't get a bit cooler at night when you really need it...hope you get some cool weather soon!

I've had a really busy day today and just sat down, my feet and knees are killing me! Haven't planned anything for tea either, bad wife that I am  :P and being a coeliac a lot of fast food is out of the question for me. We tend to homecook nearly everything, but tonight I have no clue what we're having for tea!!! Whoops.

Take care,

Brams  ;)
2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline thommo404

  • Regular Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 121
  • Liked: 6
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #87 on: December 02, 2012, 10:08:52 AM »
Brams in a way that is probably a good thing that you can't eat too much takeaway.  Wish I was like that.  I have eaten way too much since my injury.

Another crap night last night.  Got to sleep around 2am and awake at 6am.  1 more night to go.  Just 14hrs to go now before i see the surgeon.  I can't wait.



thommo

Offline Brambledog

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • Posts: 1079
  • Liked: 10
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #88 on: December 02, 2012, 11:08:20 AM »
Hi Thommo,

Sorry you had another rough night. Didnt sleep well myself so I'm feeeling that groggy pain thing too, though not as bad. Nearly time for that appointment, hang onto that thought today - and don't forget your notes! I'm sure you know this, but I'm going to say it anyway - he maybe won't be able to do everything you want, or hope for the outcome you want, so the old motto applies.....prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

I'm seeing my pain doc tomorrow and will be being titrated (posh word for 'gradually moved' lol) onto new meds. Gosh I'm sure that'll be a fun time  ::) ;D

I'll be rooting for you that it goes well! Positive thinking...

Take care today.

Brams  ;)

2009 - diagnosed coeliac
Aug 2011 - L knee arthroscopy
Aug 2011 - diagnosed PF arthritis L knee
Nov 2011 - diagnosed CRPS L knee
Dec 2011 - MRI R knee, PFOA is worse than L!
June 2012 - no surgery 'til TKR's
Nov 2012 - CRPS spread to L foot/thigh, increasing pain
- Worsening pain/symptoms R knee
;-)

Offline thommo404

  • Regular Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 121
  • Liked: 6
Re: Lost, Depressed - need help
« Reply #89 on: December 03, 2012, 06:22:43 AM »
Well had my appointment today.

He has asked me to go back to my surgeon which I have been lucky enough to be able to get into on Thursday.  Today he has suggested that I need a Lateral Realease.  He has also suggested a Tibila Tubercele Transfer as well.  He said although my measurement is not too bad he thinks that because of the arthritis I alraedy have it makes sense to do the TTT and move the kneecap out a little to relieve the pain and also reduce the ongoing cause.

So good news is that we have a plan.  Just hope my surgeon doesn't say that he only wants to do the LR.  Like the OS said today.  May as well get them both done rather than just the LR and then see how it goes and have to come back again to do the TTT.

So will see what he says on Thursday.


thommo















support