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Author Topic: children now or in the future  (Read 27917 times)

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Offline tez27

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children now or in the future
« on: April 09, 2010, 11:39:01 PM »
This has probably been covered and if so my appoilgies but I would love to know a bit more about all you lovely knee geeks
Like do you have children and if so how many boys or girls etc, or is having a family something you have put off as  a result of knee problems or just work, life etc.
After 10 years of marrage and an ectopic pregnancy we addopted 2 fantastic kids, Conor who is now 18 and working at a golf club for the time being trying to decide what he wants to do with his life, and Steph who's 16 at school concentrating on music plays a few instraments and would love to get into music production. They are the best things in my life appart from mu hubby of course.
Anyone else out there care to share there familys with me I love to here about other peoples lifes just nosey I guess lo
Tezl
L K injured 25th June 2008
scope Jan 5th 10
diagnosis ACL rupture
fiberous band excised from acl
ACLr July 19th 2010  scope on 24th Sept 2011
ACL has failed incorrect tunnel placement
23rd July 2012 1st stage of a 2 stage ACL revision
10th May 2013 2nd stage ACL revision

Offline crankerchick

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2010, 12:42:08 AM »
This post hits home for me, so I'm compelled to share.

I was looking forward to hopefully becoming a mom this year. My husband I married in june of last year and I was hoping we would get pregnant or go the adoption route shortly after marriage. We have feen together for ages and I didn't really feel the need to "be married for a while" like some of my friends were advising.

We got engaged on oct of 08 and I was just so looking forward to all the changes my life was finally about to take.

Well, in jan of 09, my knee took a turn for the worse it had ever been. I was riding a wave of decent knee times and then bam, the worst instability I had faced to date. My kneecap started subluxing on every step.

I spent 10 months limping around while trying to figure out the right course of action. I was limping and in a brace at my wedding. I knew that any plans to become a parent needed to be put on hold. Despite several dislocations and periods of daily pain, my knee had never impacted me so incredibly in just daily activities like walking to the bathroom. My kneecap was going out just walking. I knew there was no way I could think about carrying a child, either pregnant or actually once he/she got here when every step was a fear of dislocation, falling, etc. I couldn't go through life like that, let alone try to parent like that. I kept getting this image in my mind of my child going to something dangerous and me not being able to run after him or her without hesitation or issue.

Now I am 5 months post op from the surgery in my sig and very optimistic that the instability is finally behind me and we will feel more comfortable starting a family soon. This has been and still is a long rehab, but hopefully soon I will be at a point where I feel recovered enough.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2010, 12:48:20 AM by crankerchick »
Mar '07 - plica excision
Oct '09 - femoral + tibial derotational osteotomy & TTT
Aug '10 - hardware removal
"You control your leg. Don't let it control you." -Smart trainer
"Get your a$$ in gear and go for it! Nothing will happen until you make it!" -Smart doctor

Offline tez27

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2010, 04:52:37 AM »
Hi Crankerchick
Thanks for sharing your story and I really hope you are on the way to become a fantastic mom I think sometimes if things come too easy for us we tend not to appreciate it as much, with me every day I look at me kids and think how lucky I am for having them in my life dont get me wrong they both have there moments when I could happily strangle them but after what I went through to have them I will always be gratfull for being abel to be hopefully the best Mum I can be.
I was like you I wanted kids as soon as we were married but unfortunatly that was not to be we tried all the usual  fertility treatments that resulted in an ectopic pregnancy that went undiagnosed for too long and resulted in too much damage for me to concieve again so went down the adoption road and I have never regreted it at all,  so hopefully now you are on the road to having 2 healthy knees it will happen for you  and you can get back to living a normal life and be  a happy family.
Take care Tez
L K injured 25th June 2008
scope Jan 5th 10
diagnosis ACL rupture
fiberous band excised from acl
ACLr July 19th 2010  scope on 24th Sept 2011
ACL has failed incorrect tunnel placement
23rd July 2012 1st stage of a 2 stage ACL revision
10th May 2013 2nd stage ACL revision

Offline rsuddeth

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2010, 06:39:03 PM »
I hope this time's the one for you, crankerchic :*

I have 17 y/o twin girls, and an 8 year adopted son. I don't think I could have gone through this if it weren't for my girls and the help they could provide (including driving) now that they're older. My husband could not have done it all himself.  And in some of the worst times, having a girl home from school around 3:00 so I didn't have to be alone any longer was priceless. (I could see it with no kids, but this surgery would not have been manageable even 2 or 3 years ago with the kids younger.)
Feb 24th, 2010 TTT/LR (meniscus trim)

Offline ohsobright

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2010, 09:48:47 PM »
Some great stories.
Crankerchic, i will be thinking of you and keeping fingers crossed.
I have a slightly different tale... my hubby and i have been together 13 years, married 9 and we kept putting off the decision to have kids - hubby left work to study nursing so i was the only wage earner, then we had house problems etc, etc.
When we did try it took a year to get pregnant, then i had 4 missed miscarriages over the next 18 months.I was ready for giving up but agreed to try once more (hubby not keen at the time on adoption although i myself am adopted)  got pregnant again and this time was given aspirin to take orally daily and a daily blood thinning injection in my abdomen until 36 weeks - i am not good with needles! After a long and not exactly joyous 9 months our daughter made her entrance 13 days overdue and out the sunroof! (c-section)
She had just turned 1 and started to walk the day i fell. Hubby has been looking after us since. It is incredibly difficult both for hubby to be doing absolutely everything and me to  watch and be helpless (think i might be a bit of a control freak) My daughter has soon learnt that there are times and places where she can be naughty and knows i can't get to her.She is a wee minx!
14/12/09 slipped, Lt TPF, spiral # tibia, # fibula,# disloc patella,lig ruptures.
17/12/09 ORIF, bone graft.
21/12/09 discharged full leg backslab NWB
30/12/09 staples out full cast NWB.
20/1/10 cast brace NWB
22/2/10 PT
3/3/10 Cast off, PWB
31/3/10 WB with cane
23/6/10 FWB

Offline tez27

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2010, 10:46:06 PM »
Thanks Rsuddeth and Ohsobright for sharing your story's
rsuddeth 17 year old twin girls must be hard work I get stressed with 1 teenage girl who is a walking hormone at the moment so shudder to think what that would feel like doubled lol. My son seems to be past the worst of the hormonal stage fingers crossed. I hope you dont mind me asking but was you son adopted from birth or was he older, my 2 were 6 months and 2 years when we addoted them and they are brother and sister.
ohsobright I sympathise with your struggle to have a baby we went through nearly 10 years of that struggle but I wouldnt change a thing now when I look at my kids I know that this is the way it was meant to be. Your daughter sounds like a wee mink but I'm sure she has you wrapped round her little finger I loved that age when their personalities are forming and they start talking etc.
anyone else care to share their story with us?
Take care all Tez     
L K injured 25th June 2008
scope Jan 5th 10
diagnosis ACL rupture
fiberous band excised from acl
ACLr July 19th 2010  scope on 24th Sept 2011
ACL has failed incorrect tunnel placement
23rd July 2012 1st stage of a 2 stage ACL revision
10th May 2013 2nd stage ACL revision

Offline rsuddeth

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #6 on: April 11, 2010, 11:51:31 PM »
Oh, of course they have their moments, like all teenagers, but I have been pretty lucky with my girls. It probably helps they have each other for support. Anyway, it seems to me the worst of the hormonal stuff was done a couple years ago.

My son was 5 months when we got him. I have unfortunately offended someone by saying we got him the easy way. But in fact the adoption went quite smoothly and easily for us, especially compared to what I went through with pregnancy and childbirth. It helped that we were still pretty young (I was 35 when we got him, and my husband is younger) and did not need to find a child that would look like us. We found a nice Korean program that was relatively inexpensive and easy.

Ohsobright -- wow, I can't even imagine if I were laid up when my son was that age. He was the one to get in trouble, just for the fun of trouble, I swear. I am sure that would make me crazy. I am amazed, actually, at how he seems not to take advantage now (at least not while my husband isn't around for me to fall back on.)
Feb 24th, 2010 TTT/LR (meniscus trim)

Offline tez27

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2010, 09:39:35 PM »
rsuddeth thank's again for the reply
I was 33 when we adopted our 2 it was a total culture shock for me as we had to go through our local social services [not much choice over here U.K] and once you have been assesed you are put on the list for getting a child or children so when we got the call that we had been matched with a sibling group it was a roller coaster of 2 weeks to meet the children who were with foster parents, get to know them especially my son who was 2, get the house ready buy everything we needed for a baby and a toddler then bring them home and start living as a family. It took a while to ger into the swing of things but after a few weeks I couldnt remember life before my kids lol.
Ohsobright I also wonder how you are managing with a small child and a dodgy knee, so I  hope the knee is improving and your daughter is behaving
Take care Tez
L K injured 25th June 2008
scope Jan 5th 10
diagnosis ACL rupture
fiberous band excised from acl
ACLr July 19th 2010  scope on 24th Sept 2011
ACL has failed incorrect tunnel placement
23rd July 2012 1st stage of a 2 stage ACL revision
10th May 2013 2nd stage ACL revision

Offline rsuddeth

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2010, 10:01:44 PM »
Mmmm, I guess we have more choices, but it is also very expensive to go any way other than through DCF (or whatever the social services are in your area.) But in our county, there was no chance of getting a healthy baby that way. They hadn't placed a child under 2 years old in something like 3 years, and nearly all the children they got had something wrong with them. The program we went through was relatively inexpensive (compared to most other choices) in that we got through it for about $10,000 for everything. And we got a healthy baby.

Although it was much easier for me than childbirth and pregnancy, I do remember it took a couple of weeks after we got him, before I knew it was going to be okay. He was very stressed from traveling halfway round the world -- not just losing his (foster) mother, but everything -- language, sleeping arrangements, smells, etc -- was so different from what he knew. It took him some time to accept me, and I was surprised at how much different it felt than having my own girls. But by the time he was around a couple months, he felt as much ours as the girls.
Feb 24th, 2010 TTT/LR (meniscus trim)

Offline tez27

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2010, 10:49:05 PM »
Adoption from abroad is not that common over here and if you go down that road it would be very expensive, so we decided to take our chances with social sevices even though when we first applied we were told the chances of getting a healthy baby were very small,
We were very lucky that both our kids were fit and healthy and have grown up without any major problems conserning there adoption I think the fact that they have known from an early age about there start in life it has never been as issue.
I bet your son is spoiled rotten by his big sisters lol.
L K injured 25th June 2008
scope Jan 5th 10
diagnosis ACL rupture
fiberous band excised from acl
ACLr July 19th 2010  scope on 24th Sept 2011
ACL has failed incorrect tunnel placement
23rd July 2012 1st stage of a 2 stage ACL revision
10th May 2013 2nd stage ACL revision

Offline ohsobright

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2010, 09:37:19 PM »
It's so nice to hear such positive adoption stories. They are such well loved kids. I have had such a great life and experience although i know not everyone is so lucky.
Tez, it has not been easy but we are over the worst i hope. I managed to walk with my stick in one hand and my daughter's hand in the other this week so that was a real delight. She brings me my stick if she thinks i have left it lying, bless her. Hopefully it won't be long till i can look after her again (hubby VERY keen for that to happen!)
14/12/09 slipped, Lt TPF, spiral # tibia, # fibula,# disloc patella,lig ruptures.
17/12/09 ORIF, bone graft.
21/12/09 discharged full leg backslab NWB
30/12/09 staples out full cast NWB.
20/1/10 cast brace NWB
22/2/10 PT
3/3/10 Cast off, PWB
31/3/10 WB with cane
23/6/10 FWB

Offline tez27

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #11 on: April 28, 2010, 11:06:22 PM »
ohsobright
Its fantastic that you had a great life with your adoptive family I hope my kids say the same in the upcoming years
Its amazing to think how much pleasure you get out of the simple things, like holding your daughters hand while walking, it's another step towards getting your life back and geting back to all the things you take for granted when your fit and not limited by dodgy knees.
Im sure it wont be long untill your back to 100% and your taking care of your daughter, then your poor hubby will feel a bit redundant lol
L K injured 25th June 2008
scope Jan 5th 10
diagnosis ACL rupture
fiberous band excised from acl
ACLr July 19th 2010  scope on 24th Sept 2011
ACL has failed incorrect tunnel placement
23rd July 2012 1st stage of a 2 stage ACL revision
10th May 2013 2nd stage ACL revision

Offline Snowy

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #12 on: May 04, 2010, 03:59:51 AM »
What awesome stories. :) It sounds like the kids adopted into your respective families couldn't have been luckier. :)

Crankerchick, I do hope that your knee problems are soon completely behind you and you'll be able to start your own family. I can't imagine the frustration of feeling ready for the next step, then being held back by your injury.

I've been married five years (good lord! Where does the time go?) and we're not planning to have kids ourselves, but we're lucky enough to have quite a few lovely kids in our extended family that we can spoil rotten. :) My little nephew over in the UK is just about to turn two, and is the sweetest kid imaginable. His Christmas gifts arrived last week after getting very lost in the mail, and my sister sent me a video of him opening the box and saying "Thank you Auntie Kay!" that made me go a little misty-eyed. We'd hoped to go visit later this year, but unfortunately pending knee surgery makes that very unlikely. He's still a bit young for the long flight to Canada, so hopefully we'll be able to visit him once I'm through the initial recovery from surgery.
Mar 11: R Biceps femoris tear (skiing)
Jul 10: ACLr (hamstring autograft)
Mar 10: L ACL rupture (skiing)
Feb 06: L partial ACL tear (kickboxing)
Dec 03: R bone edema (motorbike)
Jan 01: R patellar chip (motorbike)
May 93: R ACL sprain (hockey)
Ongoing: bilateral PFS and OA

bean11

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #13 on: January 13, 2011, 04:46:09 AM »
Hi tez27 when I met Nadene my future wife in hospital Motorbike acc. 1985 (she now works there as a RN) she had Aaron 4yrs & Micheal 6months, so now we have Aaron 29, Micheal @ 25, [email protected], & Shaun 19. the oldest Aaron is going steady with another nurse, that trained my wife  & has known her( Tammy) for 8 years now my new grandkids are Jed 10, Jack 6 & Elly 5, we shared our first Christmas with them, Oh it was so much more fun too ! I suppose i've got to say here again due to Motorbike14/6/10 G,day from Stephen :D
« Last Edit: January 13, 2011, 09:58:58 AM by bean11 »

Offline smillie

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Re: children now or in the future
« Reply #14 on: January 13, 2011, 05:59:19 AM »
We've been married 17 years and, while my knee was causing me problems before then, it was on our honeymoon that I really aggravated it and started down the path of surgery, etc. So my poor husband has never had a wife without knee issues in all these years. We have three children--a son, age 13, a daughter, age 11, and another daughter, age 5. I stay home with our kids and homeschool them, so my mom job is full-time and very hands-on. That's why I'm so determined to get this knee fixed!
patella pain began early teens
'94 TTT/LR/VMO adv.
'94 MUA
'10 tried PT again
1/11 scope/hardware removal
4/11 (Finally!) dx medial instability due to LR
5/9/11 LPFL reconstruction scheduled