Advertisement - Hide this advert





Author Topic: Family Doesn't Understand  (Read 5316 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline soccerdoc

  • Forum Faithful
  • ****
  • Posts: 311
  • Liked: 2
Re: Family Doesn't Understand
« Reply #15 on: November 28, 2009, 03:45:02 AM »
This is a difficult situation and it is clear that your parents have little understanding of the individual differences in post-operative recovery.  if you have a hydrotherapy facility you may wish to discuss this with your physical therapist.  It may also be worth discussing the use of a TENS unit, particularly one with pain modulation settings.  Acupuncture is also effect for pain and some physical therapist are trained in electrical stimulation of acupuncture points without the use of needles.  Addressing your sleep problem is essential for your recovery and emotional health.  The data on disrupted sleep architecture and it's effects on mood and pain are pretty well established.

The other thing that your posts suggest is that your role in the family was central for certain things and your family's organization has been disrupted by your recovery which has clearly disappointed your family.  It may be helpful to see if you can talk to a counselor iat your college about some ways to deal with the situation.

hang in there, keep up the rehab and make sure you try and find time to do something you enjoy, listening to music, talking with a friend whatever it may be.....Jim

ps: Clarkey--good thing the fired the physio, that was highly unprofessional on their part

L Knee: 1980 medial plication (?);1994 medial menisectomy 'bucket-handle tear; 2000 medial menisectomy w/dx mod-severe osteoarthritis; 2002 debridement w/dx severe osteoarthritis; 2003 HTO and LR.6/2/05  HTO hardware removal and debridement arthroscopy, 2009 L knee arthroscopy great result

Offline Clarkey

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 4182
  • Liked: 75
  • Neil TheElephant knee packed up carrying his trunk
Re: Family Doesn't Understand
« Reply #16 on: November 28, 2009, 04:26:19 PM »
Maybe if you are feeling down and depressed it helps seeing a psychologist as I am doing at the moment every 3 weeks and find it very helpful. I did not only see him about people thinking I dont have a knee problem before my surgery see him mainly as he an asperger syndrome psychologist and one of a very few AS psychologist.

There is nothing wrong in seeing a psychologist as nowadays sports men and women have a psychologist who travels with them and the team. Its not nice when your family are not very understanding and can see how much it upsets you and maybe need a few days away from them at a freinds house or with understanding family member.

soccordoc he did not say to my face knee problem in my head just said that he thinks there nothing wrong with my knee and dont really need to see a OS but insisted that I see one. In the end was fed up hanging around and saw an OS at his private clinic and got treated by him on the NHS which is a free health service in the UK as he works for both sectors.

Nick :) {2009} :)
RK: PFPS, Arthrofibrosis, Tendinopathy, Five cortisone injections
16/01/18 Anterior interval release, distal patella excision, lateral meniscal repair
18/07/14 Anterior interval release  
16/11/09 Medial plica excision, fat pad trimming

Offline kepn111

  • Regular Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 84
  • Liked: 0
Re: Family Doesn't Understand
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2009, 09:05:38 PM »
Thanks guys. Jim, I have done electrical stimulation several times in the past at physical therapy. They stopped doing it lately, but near the end it didn't seem to help much anyway. Not sure if it would help again now, though.

Oh and I forgot to mention that I am sleeping in my own bed again finally. I brought a ladder up that stands on its own and put it alongside my bed. I'm able to climb up and down that to get on and off.

I'll think about seeing a psychologist, but it's really hard for me to open up to someone I don't know. I have trust issues from situations in my past, and so it takes me awhile to trust people. I know it might sound silly, but I can't help it.

Offline soccerdoc

  • Forum Faithful
  • ****
  • Posts: 311
  • Liked: 2
Re: Family Doesn't Understand
« Reply #18 on: December 01, 2009, 06:00:37 AM »
Glad to hear you are sleeping in your bed again, hopefully you will get some restorative sleep.

Electrical stim can be used in many different ways.  On many occasions I have had pain patients who found reasonable benefit from using a TENS unit at night to enable them to get better quality sleep.  These were often spine patients who had pain radiating into their leg but on several occasions they were knee surgery folks who were having a more difficult recovery.  I have used a unit from an acupuncturist that is a "microprobe" with stimulation of specific points related to knee pain with very good results this fall during the soccer season as some fields were harder on my knee after refereeing (should I really be refereeing-hmm). 

Many people with post-op/chronic pain have concerns about seeing a psychologist.  A certain amount of trust is needed but in dealing with pain often coping skills such as cognitive behavioral techniques can be very helpful.  Also learning ways to establish healthier communication patterns and boundaries with family members can facilitate reduced conflict and stress.  Your trust issues do not sound silly but a skilled psychologist can work with those and respect your boundaries in the process.  this does not always happen but it is possible.  Take care.................jim
L Knee: 1980 medial plication (?);1994 medial menisectomy 'bucket-handle tear; 2000 medial menisectomy w/dx mod-severe osteoarthritis; 2002 debridement w/dx severe osteoarthritis; 2003 HTO and LR.6/2/05  HTO hardware removal and debridement arthroscopy, 2009 L knee arthroscopy great result

Offline lenorem9

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 1535
  • Liked: 0
Re: Family Doesn't Understand
« Reply #19 on: December 01, 2009, 10:56:59 AM »
Kepn,

Not sure this will work for your family but here’s something I’ve tried and had good success with.  Write a BRIEF letter of how you’re feeling and what you’re going through.  When your family reads this it may help them understand.  I’ve found that often when people ask about my knee they just fire off question after question and I become defensive in my answers.  If you sit down and write out a general description of what you are going through and what you are feeling it will give them the big picture without all the emotions of an argument included.  I’ve even done this with my OS.  I get in his office and when he starts telling me everything looks great I feel myself getting really angry and can’t even think straight.  One day I wrote down what I was feeling and what was going on with my knee and I asked him to read it.  Half way through he looked up with a pained expression on his face and said “you’re really depressed and this knee is really affecting your life, huh?”.  BINGO!  I felt like it was the first time any OS really got what I was trying to say.  When he read how much the knee was restricting my daily activities he started to listen and spent more time testing the knee.  I’ve written several letters to family and friends since then.  Each time I’ve had people say “Wow, now I understand”. 

Hope this works for you Kepn.  It really hurts when the people you love don’t understand and support you.  We’ve all been there.  Hope things get better for you soon.

Lenore
07/07  Injured @ Taekwondo
11/07  ACL allograft, Posterolateral corner recon
01/09  Scope for scar tissue, notchplasty
02/09  Diagnosed w/arthrofibrosis/IPCS
04/09  Scope for scar tissue, lateral/medial release
05/09  MUA
11/09  Scope for scar tissue, chondroplasty
Learning to "live with it"

Offline TwoBadKneesUSA

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 3340
  • Liked: 0
  • No matter how bad it is, my dog still loves me!
Re: Family Doesn't Understand
« Reply #20 on: December 04, 2009, 03:53:09 PM »
Sorry I’ve been MIA for a while.  I have been so busy at work that I just collapse once I get home. 

Glad to hear you are at least in your own bed.  That should at least help with the sleeping.  I can understand how you could have trust issues and like soccerdoc indicated a good psychologist or therapist can help with some of that too.  It is hard to ask for outside help sometimes, but it can really help.  Lenore’s idea is a pretty good one too.  I have kept a journal for years and write a lot in it especially when I am feeling depressed or really angry.  It helps me out.  It also seems to me that there is more to the dynamic than how you are recovering.  The recovery seems to be brining that out.  Think about talking to a therapist, you do not have to, but it may be of benefit.

Just thought I would throw this out there to counter the “it was just a scope” mentality.  I had my gall bladder removed via scope (two 1in incisions and two scope holes).  That did not mean that the surgery was little.  I still had to have lifting restrictions etc.  So the size of the incision does not indicate the complexity of the surgery. 

Take care and hang in there.

Milly
'83 lt knee scope
'88 lt knee LR
'89 rt knee LR (6 mos. after left)
'05 rt knee scope (clean up)
7/5/07 - scope, LR left, right clean
3/19/08 - LR failed, Supartz failed
http://www.kneeguru.co.uk/KNEEtalk/index.php?topic=47974.0
8/21/08 - new OS apt
8/5/09 - TTT, LR, PFJR sched.

Offline Clarkey

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 4182
  • Liked: 75
  • Neil TheElephant knee packed up carrying his trunk
Re: Family Doesn't Understand
« Reply #21 on: December 07, 2009, 12:00:58 PM »
I am lucky my family are still supportive but my Boss at work is not as he made me come into work last week when I had a sick note from my GP and now my knee become more swollen an painful so know what it must feel like for you when family are not very understanding. My Boss is not very understanding after my knee surgery and it is upsetting and can depress you.

Thankfully I am on sick leave this week so hope some rest and iceing will improve my recovery.

Nick :) {2009} :)
RK: PFPS, Arthrofibrosis, Tendinopathy, Five cortisone injections
16/01/18 Anterior interval release, distal patella excision, lateral meniscal repair
18/07/14 Anterior interval release  
16/11/09 Medial plica excision, fat pad trimming

Offline kscope09

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • Posts: 691
  • Liked: 0
Re: Family Doesn't Understand
« Reply #22 on: December 10, 2009, 08:54:45 PM »
I can see I'm not the only one with these problems either.  Before I had my scope everyone I talked to who'd had it done said they were back at work the next week and playing football in a couple of months, but not me.  I didn't know what was wrong with my knee beofre I had the scope because the mri never showed anything up.  My family thought there was nothing worng with me and even a PT said it was all in my head.  When I had the scope I had a chrondoplasty on the mfc, excism of lateral and suprapatella plicas and excism of a fragment of acl that had found its way into the posterialateral compartment.
My recovery has been rough, my family constantly tell me I should be better by now and that I have made myself worse by have the op done.  They criticise my excercises and my use of ice.
At work it was very hard at first, I went back 3 weeks post op and couldn't stand up for long or bend very much and was limoping around with a cane.  This didn't stop me from getting lip from a colleague who implied I was taking the mick because I was not doing the job I am paid to do.
Another colleague at work's husband has just had the scope and he was back to normal in 6 weeks, but not me.  I'm now 18 weeks post op and I'm a lot more positive, I'm not 100% yet but I'm getting there, but I'm still icing and doing exercises 5 tiems a day, which drive me mad.
Feb 08 Inurred right knee
18 months of physio, knee tracking but knee still painful
Aug 09 Scope - Small tear in acl, fragment found in postereo-lateral compartment, suprapatella and lateral plica and small defect in mfc.
May 10 Right knee feeling better but left knee causing trouble as a result o

Offline Clarkey

  • SuperKNEEgeek
  • *****
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 4182
  • Liked: 75
  • Neil TheElephant knee packed up carrying his trunk
Re: Family Doesn't Understand
« Reply #23 on: December 14, 2009, 10:16:40 AM »
When I handed in my sick note to the General Manager on Friday he told me your knee was better off before the surgery and if I have too much sick leave will have to discuss the future of my job. My work is not very understanding and dont realise how much the knee has to go through after knee surgery to recover.

Nick :) {2009} :)
RK: PFPS, Arthrofibrosis, Tendinopathy, Five cortisone injections
16/01/18 Anterior interval release, distal patella excision, lateral meniscal repair
18/07/14 Anterior interval release  
16/11/09 Medial plica excision, fat pad trimming















support