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Author Topic: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!  (Read 5461 times)

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Offline lenorem9

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2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« on: January 27, 2008, 03:33:13 PM »
I'm trying to put as many uplifting, positive messages out here as I can but today is more of a whiny, complaining message.  I'm just venting so if you're not in the mood for negative don't read this one. 

I know there are so many people on here that are so much worse off than I am.  Some of you have had multiple surgeries and are still hurting after years and years.  That's just making me even more depressed right now.  The thought that I might have more problems and be facing years of this...WAH!! WAH!!!

Last week I felt like I was 2 steps forward but today is a "1 step back" day for sure.   
 
Went to my friends play last night.  I enjoyed the play and she did a great job acting but I think getting there and back was what depressed me.  After 2 months post op I just feel like I should be getting around better.  I'm so stiff I can't bend to walk up and down stairs and getting in and out of cars is still a challenge.  My brother had to park right next to a snowbank because it was the only available spot.  By the time I realized I couldn't get out my side it was too late so I clambered over the driver's side to get out.  I couldn't bend much so it was really a struggle getting out of a compact car and over the shifter with a bum knee.  Then going up the steps into the theater I was having a hard time and moving slowly.  My friend Mark was behind me and kind of gave me a little shove towards the top.  He kind of giggled while he did it like he was getting a kick out of my struggle.  I know he was just trying to be helpful but I wanted to turn around and scream at him "IT ISN'T FUNNY" and "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS?"  I just calmly said "You think this is bad, wait until you see me going back down". 

Thanks for listening and sorry for the vent! 
07/07  Injured @ Taekwondo
11/07  ACL allograft, Posterolateral corner recon
01/09  Scope for scar tissue, notchplasty
02/09  Diagnosed w/arthrofibrosis/IPCS
04/09  Scope for scar tissue, lateral/medial release
05/09  MUA
11/09  Scope for scar tissue, chondroplasty
Learning to "live with it"

Offline Nettan

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2008, 03:48:47 PM »
Make as a goal to kick him in the butt with your injured leg when that is back in shape.
Then I am sure he won't laugh again or make fun of you.
You are only 2 months out and that is nothing. Things will improve by time.
Next time when going out like this ask them to drop you off first before parking.
Surgery 6 times left knee torn meniscus, RSDS,chondromalacia, nervdamage cause constant nervpain,chronic inflamm.
Spinaldamage wheeler 100%.
Right knee damaged aug-06, use brace surgery 4/9-07.LCL tear.

Offline maryc

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2008, 03:51:53 PM »
Please vent all you want, as I was reading your comments, my head was going up and down, yep, been there, done that, felt that way too.  Sometimes its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like that.  We both know your friend didn't mean to be upset you, and in fact he would be shocked that you felt that way.  However, he did upset you and you have the right to be upset.  Loved you comeback line, though, great recovery.  Hang in there.
8/4/07 fell
8/5 diagnosed TPF
8/6 surgery plate and 6 screws
8/12 out of hospital NWM
8/21 staples removed
9/18 OS appt - WBAT with crutches
10/10 - WBAT with cane
10/27 - back to work w/cane
12/26 - no cane, slight limp when tired
1/25/08 - released from PT, no limp
2/3/09 - Released by OS

Offline lenorem9

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2008, 03:55:58 PM »
Thanks.  Now I'm laughing.  I love you guys! 

The truth is this friend (that shoved me from behind while giggling) is the sweetest guy I've ever known.  He holds doors open for me and grabs my elbow to help while I'm walking over ice or snow.  I'm absolutely positive he wasn't trying to hurt me by his actions. 

I do like the idea of kicking him in the butt anyway, Nettan.  Ha! Ha!
07/07  Injured @ Taekwondo
11/07  ACL allograft, Posterolateral corner recon
01/09  Scope for scar tissue, notchplasty
02/09  Diagnosed w/arthrofibrosis/IPCS
04/09  Scope for scar tissue, lateral/medial release
05/09  MUA
11/09  Scope for scar tissue, chondroplasty
Learning to "live with it"

Offline peggy1

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2008, 06:32:51 PM »
Hi,

Sorry to hear that you are having a bad day. We all have them and they stink!! It seems that you are doing pretty darn good and you are not giving yourself the credit that you deserve. It takes time for these knees to heal and you must have patience. Your friend sounds like he was just teasing and trying to lift your spirits. I have had my husband and nephew take my cane and do silly things. They thought they were helping although I would have liked to take the cane and................. Keep up the good work, you will get there!

Peggy

Offline lenorem9

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2008, 07:12:42 PM »
Thanks Peggy,

You're making me laugh again.  I love the cane image.  Ouch!  That would hurt. 

I think overall I have way more good days than bad but today just seemed to be a tough one both physically AND mentally.  I woke up whiny and sad and the knee was stiff and unmoving.  I'm already snapping out of my bad mood and I know that tomorrow I'll do much better both physically and mentally.  Just when I think the bad days are behind me I'll have a day like today that gets my attention and reminds me I've got a long way to go.  I'm still trying to work on patience.  It's definitely not one of my virtues. 

I know I'm expecting too much and I'm way ahead of the game when it comes to rehab for my surgery.  For me the mental challenge is much tougher than the physical challenge.  I think I'm just angry this injury took away the things I love to do.  Hopefully 6 months from now I'll be back at Tae Kwon Do and I'll be giving new knee geeks positive thoughts like you are all giving me.
07/07  Injured @ Taekwondo
11/07  ACL allograft, Posterolateral corner recon
01/09  Scope for scar tissue, notchplasty
02/09  Diagnosed w/arthrofibrosis/IPCS
04/09  Scope for scar tissue, lateral/medial release
05/09  MUA
11/09  Scope for scar tissue, chondroplasty
Learning to "live with it"

Offline peggy1

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #6 on: January 27, 2008, 07:38:03 PM »
Hi,

I think we all have days that we have to put aside and say woe is me. I've done it on more than 1 occassion. It stinks getting hurt like this and having normal things come to a standstill. I was so ticked off the year I got hurt as I couldn't take care of all the flowers I had just planted ( over 200 of them ) and my garden went down the toilet. Every time my husband would drive by the flowers and I would see then covered in weeds I would start crying. Even though I knew in my heart I couldn't do a darn thing about them, I still wanted to get out there and straighten them out. It's been 19 months since I got hurt and come hell or high water I will be planting and taking care of my flowers and garden this year. It just takes time. Patience is not one of my virtues either but when you can't do something, you can't do it. FRUSTRATING!!! It does get better and I am sure that with pt and determination you will be back at what you love doing soon.

Good luck and keep me posted.

Peggy


Offline lenorem9

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #7 on: January 27, 2008, 08:12:41 PM »
Hey Peggy,

I was just reading some of your first posts back to your original injury.  Ouch!  You did a good job.  All from slipping on a wet floor.  I would have been crying if I just planted 200 flowers and had to watch them all go to weeds too. 

I love my flower and vegetable gardens.  I lucked out with the timing of my injury.  My flower beds were all pretty much weeded and mulched and my vegetable garden was all planted.  I kept gardening until I just couldn’t take it anymore (plus the first bonehead OS’s told me all I had was a bone bruise).  I used to sit in the garden on a plastic tub and weed then move it a few feet to weed another section.  It wasn’t easy but it was effective.  I even managed to get the garden cleaned up and tilled in the fall so everything will be fresh and ready for this Spring.  I’m looking forward to it. 

Hopefully you’ll be able to get back into your gardens this Spring too. I’ll be thinking of you.  I’m in NY so we start a little later than you in PA. 

Well, gotta run.  My Ellie cat is telling me I’ve been neglecting her and my neighbor wants to go for a walk.  I could use both the attention of my cat and neighbor so I’ll sign off for now.  Have a great rest of the day and thanks again for your input.  Keep in touch. 
« Last Edit: August 28, 2008, 05:10:08 PM by lenorem9 »
07/07  Injured @ Taekwondo
11/07  ACL allograft, Posterolateral corner recon
01/09  Scope for scar tissue, notchplasty
02/09  Diagnosed w/arthrofibrosis/IPCS
04/09  Scope for scar tissue, lateral/medial release
05/09  MUA
11/09  Scope for scar tissue, chondroplasty
Learning to "live with it"

Offline austinknee

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2008, 02:00:03 AM »
ha ha....not that any of it is funny....but NO one gets how hard stairs are!  My husband is diong all this remodeling in the attic..etc....so, he gets up in these crawl holes...then calls down for things.....GZZZZ...it is REALLY hard to climb up a ladder..I mean it takes every bit of strength in my bad leg so I usually go up one one one one step..you know what I mean...takes FOREVER that way......right when Iget up...he will say.....oh......can you go get me this or that.......so, back down I go........I cant get mad b/c he is doing a project for me.....I told him this weekend...he better get it all out of his system b/c when I have surgery again in two weeks IM going to be barking the orders :-) 

I cant see how the heck you could get out a car on the other side of the car at just two months post op...that is actually really good....so, dont beat yourself up.....got out of the car AND went up stairs......horray! thats great!   :-)
LR 11/2006
LR Reconstruction scheduled 2/08

Offline lenorem9

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2008, 09:08:34 AM »
If we don't find the humor in any of this we'll all be crying.  I'm still laughing about your mother-in-law saying you need to "get over the knee thing and have a baby".  That one killed me. 

You're going up and down a ladder?  BE CAREFUL!  What if you fall?  Ouch!  Can you rig some kind of basket on a rope for him to haul stuff up? 

Yesterday was just one of those days.  Normally I go up stairs great but still have a little trouble going down.  I know I'm doing really well for 2 months postop but I'm an overachiever so it's never enough.  Days when I see progress I'm fine but days when I go backwards make me crazy.  In the long run this knee injury is going to make me a stronger person physically and mentally.  Plus it's really opening my eyes to the plight of others with serious illnesses and handicaps.  I'm hoping this will make me a more caring and thoughtful person. 
07/07  Injured @ Taekwondo
11/07  ACL allograft, Posterolateral corner recon
01/09  Scope for scar tissue, notchplasty
02/09  Diagnosed w/arthrofibrosis/IPCS
04/09  Scope for scar tissue, lateral/medial release
05/09  MUA
11/09  Scope for scar tissue, chondroplasty
Learning to "live with it"

Offline peggy1

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2008, 04:49:23 PM »
Hey Ladies,

I still come down the stairs one at a time. The stairs are my hardest thing to do and once I am down in the morning I am down for the day. I can't believe your husband expected you to climb that ladder, men are really braindead!!! Mine would be committed if he thought I'd climb a ladder!


Lenore,

Where at in NY are you from? My daughter lives in the Bronx. Yes, when I fall I really fall HA HA The garage floor where I walk now has an indoor, outdoor carpet and that is the only way I would ever go back out to the garage.

Hope everyone is having a better day!

Peggy




Offline lenorem9

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2008, 05:07:22 PM »
Hi Peggy,

I'm in upstate NY near Albany.  About 3 hrs. north of NYC.

Indoor/outdoor carpet is a great idea.  Hopefully you'll be able to do stairs, gardening and everything else you want to do before long. 
07/07  Injured @ Taekwondo
11/07  ACL allograft, Posterolateral corner recon
01/09  Scope for scar tissue, notchplasty
02/09  Diagnosed w/arthrofibrosis/IPCS
04/09  Scope for scar tissue, lateral/medial release
05/09  MUA
11/09  Scope for scar tissue, chondroplasty
Learning to "live with it"

Offline peggy1

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2008, 05:13:18 PM »
Lenore,

Not too worried about the stairs but I will be out playing in the dirt.

Peggy


Offline austinknee

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2008, 05:56:58 PM »
It is always good to know others suffer from the stairs too.  Last year I was married....right when we got home from the wedding (it was out of state)...on Monday morning I was going back to work...I have to go down wood stairs....my husband was still sleeping (he works nights)......I was trying to practice bending my knee to take a step down and I had one some of those mule type shoes....anyway...I missed the step on my bad leg....didnt have enough of a grip on the rail and I bounced down about 5-6 stairs....it happened sooo fast I didnt even feel the pain...I was face down on the bottom of the floor in shock.......so, my hsuband hears the thud thud thud....he came around to the top of the stairs and saw me face down.......he yelled and ran down the stairs to pick me up....ha ha...funny now...he said he thought I had died a week after we were married! yikes....he dusted me off and helped me out the door.......man was I bruised up....the knee didnt get hit at all somehow but man did my butt and side. After that...I decided there was no shame in the one at a time step walking.....especially down...up is better for sure.....  Right after we were married we went house hunting....my husband understood why I wanted a bedroom downstairs! ha ha

the ladder thing is my own fault..he has seen me go up the ladder to hang ornaments on the christmas tree (where there's a will there's a way)....so, he doenst understand why I dont want to do it to the attic  ha ha......I will be a better patient after my upcoming surgery.  Im hoping my LAST surgery...crossing my fingers....so I will follow all the rules they give me!

LR 11/2006
LR Reconstruction scheduled 2/08

Offline peggy1

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Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
« Reply #14 on: January 28, 2008, 06:19:10 PM »
Autin,

What a funny story(not that you got hurt), just the fact that we all think we can do it, try and land face down or on our butts! Falling scares the heck out of me. I have become so careful walking that I probably make myself slower than I really am. But, the one at a time coming down the stairs thing is probably going to be a part of my life from now on. I too told my husband that we need a 1 floor house. I hate ranchers but in a few years I think we will need to go that route or at least a bi-level with just a few stairs to conquer.

Take care and be careful;)

Peggy
















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