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Author Topic: When even your own family doesn't seem to get it  (Read 3656 times)

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Offline lenorem9

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Re: When even your own family doesn't seem to get it
« Reply #15 on: January 27, 2008, 04:14:10 PM »
Nettan,

You sound like you've been through so much and learned to love life anyway.  That's great!  I'm going to read some of your 12,000 posts when I get a chance and I'll send you another message.  I'd love to know more about your whole story.

Meanwhile you didn't answer my question...what is your approach to dealing with the ignorance of some people like the ones in this post?  How do you teach them and get them to read and learn?  When I receive ignorant comments I try to explain my injury and surgery to people.  After about 1 minute I can see their eyes start to roll up in their head.  I think a lot of them really don't want to learn. 
07/07  Injured @ Taekwondo
11/07  ACL allograft, Posterolateral corner recon
01/09  Scope for scar tissue, notchplasty
02/09  Diagnosed w/arthrofibrosis/IPCS
04/09  Scope for scar tissue, lateral/medial release
05/09  MUA
11/09  Scope for scar tissue, chondroplasty
Learning to "live with it"

Offline Nettan

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Re: When even your own family doesn't seem to get it
« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2008, 04:24:07 PM »
When people doesn't want to get things or listen, I ignore them..and to tell the truth, if they don't have any interest in me..well then I don't care about them either.
Sometimes reality can be tough..and believe me, I have lost many so called friends on the way.
But the ones I have now take me as I am and don't think miracles will happen over a night.
Surgery 6 times left knee torn meniscus, RSDS,chondromalacia, nervdamage cause constant nervpain,chronic inflamm.
Spinaldamage wheeler 100%.
Right knee damaged aug-06, use brace surgery 4/9-07.LCL tear.

Offline austinknee

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Re: When even your own family doesn't seem to get it
« Reply #17 on: January 27, 2008, 04:51:13 PM »
To all the wonderful posters.  I have to say that I often feel sorry for myself....for my loss of the things I loved to do. Especially as my husband gets to keep doing them (he was recently training for a half ironman).....but then I read..and read.....and realize that all of the small things that I cant do are so small compared to the things so many people on this board can't do.  My doctor recently....one of the nicer doctors.....said, your knee is difficult...is is uncommon and you arent going to find an exact answer......but, he said...we are not talking about amputating your leg here. You could be worse.....and, the fact is...he is right.  I am lucky in the way that there MIGHT be a way to fix me...so many on here are not.  The stupid comments from my friends and family are just that stupid....but, that is not the only place stupid comments exist.  I work in a high risk OB office. We lose babies ALL the time...I mean ALL the time because of many reasons.  You know what stupid people say to those women?  " At least you can try again....or....at least you didnt know the baby yet, at least there are twins...you still have one....." etc.  HORRIBLE.  Lucky, we have training in what to say to these women...or, actually what NOT to say...we are taught to ask questions about their feelings...and listen.....thare is no right answer. They know it, it sucks...we know it...and we just have to support them.  Our families dont know that...they want to "fix us" they want us to be better because it makes them sad.  Now, if you are fortunate to have family members with the same things....THEY understand. My mom has had knee issues for years, she has had knee replacements, she has horrible arthritis in her hands...and she just had major foot surgery 3 weeks ago.  SHE GETS IT.    Everyone, most everyone, on here "gets it"

Nattan you are great support to people on line.....what a gift to help others. That is great.

Maggie...I cant believe your father compared your knee to his finger.  Ask him who would be worse...if you cut off your leg or if he cut off his finger.  CRAZY...but made me laugh....and yes 0.1mile counts as walking!  It is a heck of a lot further than the couch to the fridge and some folks on here cant do that.  :-)

Plumb...Move that washer upstairs!!.  I recently moved into a new house. I was determined to get a master bedroom downstairs...in Austin they like to put them upstairs!! I found it.....and, I can say that my knee feels SOOO much better not going up and down those stairs.  My dog has arthritis, she is 9...she is so much better too..ha ha...she is OFF her arthritis meds...she is showing me up!!  :-)

I love this site. My husband thinks Im addicted. But, I can say....that I feel better when I talk to people. I think it has actually helped my husband too b/c I have a secret support group!  Im SOOO glad that I can take my computer with me to Georgia for my upcoming surgery so I can chat online during my recovery.

hang in there everyone....and, for the woman that is not comfortable posting...Jump right in...there are no dumb comments and trust me, someone on here feels just like you. 
LR 11/2006
LR Reconstruction scheduled 2/08

Offline DeborahinNC

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Re: When even your own family doesn't seem to get it
« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2008, 05:11:24 PM »
It really all boils down to a matter of perspective.  Nettan is a great inspiration (really mean that).  But no matter if you are dealing with being in a wheelchair, using crutches, losing limbs or just having constant pain we are all in the same boat.  We have all lost some degree of what we can do and how we do the things we still can do.  We are all human and will have down days as well as up days.  That is why this board is so good.  Hopefully, when I am down someone else is out there with something that makes me smile.  Then I hope to repay the favor when I have my up days too.

We can't compare ourselves to anyone else except and say "I'm not as bad as that."  Any change in how we live is a big deal no matter how small the change.  Many here are from injury - certainly not expected.  Some are just from aging or genetically bad bones and joints.  Again not really expected.  No matter what brought us here we found a common thread and a family that understands. 

Sorry, must be really emotional today - didn't mean to ramble. Its just nice to know there are others who are here whenever yo need them.

Be well,
Deborah

Offline Nettan

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Re: When even your own family doesn't seem to get it
« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2008, 05:42:13 PM »
I think I am reaching a bit longer. I don't want to be put in "one" family and "only" be seen like a person with knee issues.
I think no matter if you have knee issues or not, that is a part of life to have down days and up days.
The thing is, we need to focus on what we have and can do.
Tomorrow is another day and noone can predict what that will involve.
Surgery 6 times left knee torn meniscus, RSDS,chondromalacia, nervdamage cause constant nervpain,chronic inflamm.
Spinaldamage wheeler 100%.
Right knee damaged aug-06, use brace surgery 4/9-07.LCL tear.















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