"Sick" humor: Answers to the "But you don't look sick?" ;)

[ChrisAngel]

This is from a great site ButYouDontLookSick.com
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2006/08/sick_humor_answers_to_but_you.php

A sick sense of humor is what keeps us sane, is one of my life mottos 

Text below is copy-pasted from the site (link above).

Enjoy! 

Chris
*~

Sick Humor: Answers to But you don't look sick?!
Don't you wish that you had something witty to say when someone says the inevitable.. But you don't look sick?!

Well now you do, Thanks to our message board members we have a WHOLE list !! Even if you feel you can't really use these answers when people ask, you can most certanly think of them and giggle.



And you look Intelligent!

And you don't look stupid!

Maybe it's Maybelline.

But I tried so hard!

Oh? You don't look like the bearer of prejudices. We all make mistakes * Cheery Smile *

Really? That's odd!

Really? (Look down at yourself) I'm cured!!!

Where did you get my medical degree from?

For when people are are being rude- I don't look ( Insert age here) either, but it doesn't change the fact I am!

Why thankyou honey, that's so sweet of you to say that!

I wasn't aware illnesses came mounted on a billboard!

Huh? What does sick look like?

There's a well person striving to escape this body !

How sweet of you to say that. I've been so tired, I haven't bathed in three days. And I was sort of worried about going out in public looking like this. So thanks for the compliment. It's really made my day.

And I guess your X-ray vision isn't working too well today either! You should see how corroded some of my parts are on the inside. Some of my organs are in their 90's, some in their 70's. It's hard to keep track! ! !

Yeah, isn't it great. I guess I'm the healthiest looking sick person you've ever seen, huh? Isn't it weird how looks can deceive.

Yep well it's nothing to get excited about !

Well I'm NOT sick, my body is!

What do you think "Don't judge a book by it's cover" means?

Just because I look ok, doesn't mean I'm fine.

I work hard to look this good.

Are you flirting with me?

I have good and bad days, but I'll never be the way I was before I got sick.

Darn! I told Q this was the wrong host body!! I should go back to the mother ship.

This is my Alter-Ego!

Should I get a refund?

It's really good to know that the 4 hours it took me to get out of bed, and get ready this morning wasn't wasted!

Really? That's not what my psychiatrist told me.

Oh gosh I didn't realise it was you who was blind. I mean people told me but I mus have gotten muddled, its the drugs you know, but wow you're coping so well.……. *continue babbling til they back away*

You should see the straight jacket they make me wear!

Thanks! Funny, knowing that i dont look sick, gives me a new appreciation and patience for the people i might meet who look healthy and may not be.

Oh yeah? Check this out (show them something freaky)

Really? Ok lets trade bodies for the day!

What exactly does (insert illness) look like?

Ignorance is bliss I guess!

Would a bit of vomit help? Because I'm feeling quiet nauseous.

I guess hard work pay off!

Well of course not, I look like (insert name here) Duh!

What is this "sick" you speak of?

Thanks! I only needed one painkiller today instead of 5!

oh good..... because "not sick" is just the look I was going for!


©2006 butyoudontlooksick.com

[caren]

my boss told me the other day since i dont limp so bad in the am I must be fine and ready to go off restirictions and get back to work

how smart is she

[brianne]

Caren,

I have had people tell me things like that.  I tried really hard not to limp and many days I look like I walk "normal" to an outside person.  I have had people tell me, "Your knees cannot be that bad, you walk normal."  It takes all my effort to not limp, but I know that limping is bad for your legs.

[ChrisAngel]

Brianne&Caren,
I can't but just wish stuff like that wouldn't have to happen! If we were just trying to correct the way we walk and not to limp, people automatically see it as a sign that there is no pain. We could be not trying to limp because it's better for the legs to try maintain the normal posture and length of step (or something, not the expert in that). But no...others just get the wrong picture.


It's one of the most irritating things to happen having someone tell how well u look and therefore how well u must be doing too. Had that from my brother earlier today once again.. Our relationship is something so complicated, that it would make Freud turn over in his grave..!! Anyway, my brother, his wife and my 2 years old niece were here over the weekend (currently at our cabin with my parents). Things are never smooth, but I felt they were tolerable...until my brother started making his remarks again..

It was about how come I need 2 crutches to move again, when he has seen me go without at all last time. Those were his exact words. It's no use to start arguing about it, he is so dominant in his opinions and turns just about everything u say against u. He will twist anything at all u happen to say, until they sound pointless and ridiculous. I've never been a debater and most of all NOT a quick thinker. He is that times TEN, which causes me to completely humilate myself every time I can't come up with witty or smart comebacks as fast as he can. I can express myself in writing, but that is no use there (can't write much anyways with the shoulderpains..) I really wish I could once, just ONCE in my life leave HIM speechless and uttering for something to say.

I tried to stay calm (have had some throat infection the past 4 months, so can't use my voice too much - so verbal dueling was out of the question) and just told him that AS I've said before, my pains vary. They just do it and ít's not in my control. It's exhausting, that he NEVER gets that while my pain is invisible, it's real. He's had time to learn that, but even the past 10 years have done nothing. Pains come and go. That he can't get. There was a while not so long ago my legs were doing better, but now they aren't. It's ridiculous to tell him these things all over and over again...

In general he thinks I'm just using my pains for my benefit...yeah right. Just as if it was so FUN somehow to have the pains in the first place. Just as if I ENJOYED causing my parents the burden I have become along the years. Just as if it makes me so HAPPY to see my friends struggling with understanding me, when they try being there for me. Just as if I LOVED not being able to come and go as I will or do the things I love. As if I got PLEASURE of not being able to be there for my friends as I'd like to.
Only a sick person would think yes is the answer to these things stated above,

Just as if I really enjoyed having the life that is mine. 

Yeah. As if. 

But there is no choise for me. My life is what it is and I just have to find a way to cope/adjust. The universe was on its twisted mood again. Maybe there just was not enough people giving me hard time already, let's just add my brother into it once more. It's every time we meet, so shouldn't wonder. I should just stop hoping that he'd finally grow out of it. Pointless.

It's no use to scream (believe me I would if my throat would allow me to!) The things he's said, the things he's capable of...some of it I will never forget... How he's treated me and how he used to torture me with his words to the point I'm crying...Most of it because of the pain he never can believe. Is it sibling rivalries or jealousy? I dunno. He's 6 years older than me, so the age difference makes us that more distant still. He broke his leg when he was 17 (now 33) so that makes him an expert of having pain, according to his words. Shouldn't that HELP him understand??

Blood is blood and I of course love my brother as I love all my family members, but I can never have any kinda relationship with him. We never talk about anything, if we're in the same room. It's only his daughter, my niece, that makes meeting him and his wife worth it. Me and my sister-in-law are not getting along that well either. I always try being as nice and polite to her as I can manage (without overdoing it, of course) and at times she is okay too. At times she tells my brother to stop if everyone can see me and my brother are starting the verbal dancing, but I can't be sure if it's because of me or because of her just simply being tired of listening her husband bicker with me. That is the only good thing I've really gotten out of her. But it's not always, only sometimes. Weird, because I got along real nicely with all his previous girlfriends. And of course the one he marries, couldn't be further from it. The girl he dated (and almost married at the time) before his wife, is a person I'm still good friends with. She's my "big sister" (I have no younger siblings) and she still tells me how horrified she was of seeing how my brother treated me.

Pointless to think about it, since it will never change anything. And my hands don't like it either..(shoulderpains). But it's still fresh in my mind how he insulted me the latest time. Before I had pains, we got along better. Well, not that we had anything even small resemblance to a relationship, but our bickering was more normal. I shouted back at him, when he shouted at me. I felt more equal, if that is a possible word to ever use in the same sentence with my brother. At least then it was about "normal" issues, more everyday brother-sister stuff. We've always argued, but when it came to be about pains, the bickering changed into insulting and hurting me as long as it took to see me cry. And this has continued until this day. I can't help if I cry easily or have strong emotional reactions to things, but it only feeds his hunger to insult me further.

There is not much my mom could do about it either, because she doesn't want to get in the middle of it all over again. And she can't see her son like I see my brother. Mom wants to try keeping even SOME kind of peace in the family, so she sits still. I get it, if my brother got into fight with all of us, he could really well stop contacting us at all. And it's their grandchild there too.

So, alone am I in it.

I really hope my niece will never learn of what her father can be like. Even if he sucks in being a brother, he is a wonderful father to his daughter. Wonder if things will ever change, before I have children too. Sure I still live with my parents, but its' only due to the circumstances. But I'm no longer a child.

And when I'm single, I cant' be taken seriously. My brother has not really seen me with a guy, for a long period of time at least. I was only 14, when he moved out first to study abroad, and after that he was not long at home, but moved in with his girlfriend at the time. I was a late bloomer and didn't really notice guys before I was in high school. There's only been one more serious guy, which is not much. And my brother pretty much didn't even meet him! It's no wonder, my friend from when I was 14 has only met my brother 2 or 3 times during the 13 years we've known each other! He just is not around when my friend is.

Anyways, my brother must still see me just as his bratty little sister, who claims to have pains so that she could get out of doing the dishes. To express it stereotypically (with my shoulders, I can't do the dishes anyway-we don't have a dish washer).

Phew. What a long rant. Most likely off the topic, but maybe needed to burn off some steam.

Now time to get a good night's sleep (it's 1 am here). I have an app to the dentist on tuesday...eek...!
Sweet dreams!
 
Chris
*~

[Ronxski]

Hi Chris, been reading your posts of the past days. PHEW.... your problems with pain, infection,nervousness, and brother have got you all tensed up.  Now that you are going to the dentist they may very well be able to help you with that throat problem. your teeth could be causing some of the problem and hopefully they can help.

Another thing , is when you are all upset, your body will have a very hard time fighting off infections and pains. I suggest you print out all these postings and take them to your Pain management clinic and PT appointments. you won't have to talk much cause you have so much of it all down here.

As for your brother, there is little you can do about someone like that. If your Mom won't say anything or your Dad . Even just to tell him. If you don't have anything good to say keep your mouth shut. or perhaps a little less harsh than that. 

People like him look for fights and keep digging until they get a reaction they want then the fight is on. You can't win with a "know it all "

Play with your niece , and if he starts in, just leave and don't acknowledge him. If you don't give him a reaction he will most likely be frustrated and try some more until he gets it that you aren't going to play his stupid games. Then leave you alone.
When or if he starts to talk to you with some respect then you hopefully can talk to him.

But you have to go to your appointments. I know being from Finnish grandparents myself how everything was held inside , not talked about. Make the best effort you can. Don't try to think what COULD happen at your appointments. You don't know until you go.
You have to look at it as your opportunity to getting help and on with your life.
So go forth into therapy and begin to live again!!! Hugs, Ron

[Nettan]

Chris, you can't deal with everything at same time in life on your own. Seriously, if you don't feel well get someone to talk with, someone professional.
Everything has gotten too far. And if you are in so much pain why write so long here and make that worse ?
I don't want to be rude or anything, just talk out from my point of view from what I see.
You are an adult, not easy for your mom to come in between you and your brother. You need to take this fight on your own or just hush and pretend he's not there.
There must be something positiv in life huh ? Focus on that, get stronger and move on.

[shortyclairebear]

lol! lol!! lol!!!

i love some of those answers to "you don't look sick" .....................keep 'em coming!!!

[Patty0513]

I can express myself in writing, but that is no use there (can't write much anyways with the shoulderpains..)

I am sorry, but that statement made me laugh.  Your post was about the length of War and Peace and after making that statement, you proceeded to write another 11+ paragraphs.  Somehow, I don't think you will have any problem communicating at the pain management sessions.   

I really liked some of the "answers".  I usually just thank the person, smile and walk away. 

Good luck with the pain management and sorting your issues.

Patty[/color]

[ChrisAngel]

Ron, thanks for the peptalk! I've sent all my existing papers to the clinic beforehands, as they requested. Including one HELLAVA long "painhistory" I've typed out and filled along the years, including done surgeries, doctor apps etc. I have no idea how their english is, but I might just print a few anyways. Thanks for the idea

Nettan and Patty, I understand ur point. If in pain, why make it worse. I get all that. I know I'm causing the pain myself, when I get too much into it and type. Writing DOES hurt, I'm not saying just for "fun". Dilemma is, that in those desperate moments of need, when I feel I need actual answers, I have to write to get here. It's a vicious cycle with no end, really. SOMETIMES I find a position, that doesn't feel so bad for a little while (like happened when I typed out my previous reply above) and might end up with a good amount of writing. But it starts to hurt in the end anyway. And it varies. Like the moment I'm writing this, it hurts all the time.

I'm not kidding or making it up. Writing HURTS! It's not a lie. I feel bad if people suspect I for some outrageous reason would do so. I feel bad it rises the need to defence myself because of it. It shouldn't.

I know u all mean well and am thankful of u being there, but just thought of expressing how I feel, too.

Chris
*~

[SuzanneT]

Here are two comments made to me, one from a friend, and one from a family member!

"I bet if I took those crutches away from you, you could walk."

"Do you think that you're addicted to those crutches?"

[Ronxski]

Suzanne, Did you think to yourself " if you try and take my crutches I'll whack you with one across your knees and see how well you walk?" 

I can't remember a day since 1984 that something doesn't hurt. I'm paying for ball playing injuries. A shoulder that used to be my better one that makes crunching, grinding pain every day now . And I don't know if it's tendons or what kind of tissue that constantly feels like it re-tears every time I move it a certain way you can hear it tear.
 I am taking Advil PM now so I can sleep at night.
The knee still bothers me too. But I keep on moving and try my best. I still remember the day I came home from the surgery with the pain meds still fresh in my body. NOTHING hurt !! So for 8 hours I experienced what healthy people take for granted.

I admit I don't have a high tolerance for pain. So it bothers me when someone thinks you should be doing this or that because they can do it, or have a higher tolerance for pain. There are times I wish I could do like Mr. Spock in the old Star Trek shows. Do a vulcan mind meld and let that person feel what I feel.  Neck, back, knees, and now torn muscles around a couple ribs that don't allow me to take a deep breath.

We know only ourselves how much we hurt . Having said that, it is still imperative that we don't give up and make the best of what our bodies allow us to do.
So I believe it when Chris says how much it hurts her shoulders but yet she can write a long post.

Frisbee golf is popular around here now. Oh how I wish I could play but it would be agony to throw one. So I do what I can and enjoy whatever activity I can still do.   I'll have to eventually go to the Dr. when I can afford it and see what they can do, if anything to fix it.

It just doesn't do any good to keep telling our friends and family what hurts. If anyone asks they most likely ask just to be polite . So I quit giving my inventory of body pains.  I just say to them . Same ol stuff

NEVER GIVE UP!!!  Smile too !! Here's hoping you all find some relief soon. Ron

[SuzanneT]

Ron, your comment was exactly what my husband told me I should have said!  Have you ever had someone ask you how you're doing & before you can answer, they have turned away?

[ChrisAngel]

Suzanne, Did you think to yourself " if you try and take my crutches I'll whack you with one across your knees and see how well you walk?" 

I would have thought the exact same thing lol 

I still remember the day I came home from the surgery with the pain meds still fresh in my body. NOTHING hurt !! So for 8 hours I experienced what healthy people take for granted.

Oh what a feeling it was...my knee hurt anyways, but my shoulders...I felt like I could fly. It indeed gave the feeling like what it used to be in no pain. What good stuff it was...wonder if they sold it in tiny little bottles for us to take on those rainy days...*grin*

I admit I don't have a high tolerance for pain. So it bothers me when someone thinks you should be doing this or that because they can do it, or have a higher tolerance for pain. There are times I wish I could do like Mr. Spock in the old Star Trek shows. Do a vulcan mind meld and let that person feel what I feel.

Mind melt...SO what I'd like to be able to do too! Countless are the times I've wished just that...

It just doesn't do any good to keep telling our friends and family what hurts. If anyone asks they most likely ask just to be polite . So I quit giving my inventory of body pains.  I just say to them . Same ol stuff

Inventory of body pains, nicely put I also tell many people just "it's the same old stuff", if they ask. One of my friends doesn't take this for an answer, but almost always asks me to specify. That's when I get awkward. She's the sweetest person and genuinely cares of all her friends, but I feel like if I tell too much, it'll frighten her. Not true, but that's how it feels. Isn't it funny, that when the opposite happens, someone actually BEGS us to tell more detailed version of how we're doing, we get awkward. Makes me think of an old saying "Be careful what u wish for, u just might get it".

Have you ever had someone ask you how you're doing & before you can answer, they have turned away?

Yup. It feels rude. Even if they didn't really care what the answer is, they could at least face us long enough to hear the reply. Gives out the feeling we don't matter. Makes me wanna trip them with my crutch: "And as I was saying..." or something. Well, not really, but just in my mind.

Chris
*~

[Ronxski]

I haven't had anyone walk away right after asking. If anyone did I wouldn't waste my time talking to them anymore.
Had the glassy eye vacant look though. Like Homer Simpson, only thing missing was the cricket chirping sounds. 

The other thing I have said is " if you don't want to know, don't ask."

So now that we've got this out of our systems. Let's work on staying positive and making the best of each day. AND SMILE !

      

[suehaem]

Went to the docs today he asked about the pain I said not having pain on day to day tasks only with exercises and physio when he asked what pain meds I was on he said no wonder your not feeling any pain LOL ,  People can never appreciate what your personal pain is, everyone is different.

I have had people saying they will steal my crutches, I say when I catch up with you I will wrap it around your head LOL or you get your limping better !!!!

Sue