Just want to selfishly feel like someone will make it all better

[marky310]

I dislocated my knee a few months ago. Ive never had any major health event in my life. I cried myself to sleep the first night. I couldn't imagine changing my life to revolve around this and then I feel guilty and stupid since there are people who have worse disabilities than me. Three months later, I'm stong enough to walk around like a penguin but it's all the surrounding issues that make it worse. I've been unemployed since the beginning of the year so I have no insurance. Ive been able to scrape for everything but PT, which I desperately need. I realize I can't do this on my own. My hands hurt from lifting myself up. My "good" knee has been hurting since I first started using crutches. I'm sure I injured it as well because it hasn't gotten better. My room is upstairs and sometimes I feel like I'm trapped, with only tv and school work to get me by. My family tries to include me but its a pain to go down and up stairs and I know they're trying to make me feel better but I feel so helpless. I'm trying to find an affordable health care plan but I feel like avoiding the pain of trying to work my legs out is the only way to not feel depressed and I really just wish I had someone who could take care of me and everything. I know a year from now I'll be able to look back and reminisce but the idea that this is something I'll always worry about scares me

[Brandon123]

Hi Marky,

Sorry about your situation. How old are you?

When all the normal things are 'gone', and you’re bedridden or house bound, you are forced to face life in a new way, and at least temporary (because I am sure you will be fine eventually) find joy in new things. And this is tough mentally, no doubt. And often extremely depressing.

My best suggestions for coping with a situation like yours is a) Try to keep things in perspective – difficult I know, but still. Although it kind of destroys your normal life, this situation is only for a limited period and fortunately a limited problem compared to for example serious disease. But at the same time, don’t feel bad because you feel bad for having a ‘non-serious’ problem! These knee problems can really mess up your life. However, remember, you will get better. b) Still try to accept that life comes with obstacles that many of us face at one point or another. This was so difficult for me, as basically everything had gone my way up until my knee broke down. c) Try to immerse yourself with indoor hobbies such as reading, studying, personal development, watching TV series, playing video games, origami, catching up with old friends online or over phone, or whatever. Google 'indoor hobbies' for ideas! During periods of being more or less house bound because of knee problems, I have for example, read a lot, explored new music, new podcasts, new people and cultures (through books and documentaries), new TV series, immersed myself in astronomy, started playing chess, explored myself, my beliefs, and my entire take on the world.

Good luck with your recovery and keep us updated on your progress!