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Offline cat

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for our southern friends  
« on: June 20, 2003, 03:10:26 AM »
And those who want to understand us :)
 

>Things I've learned about Georgia:

>Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

>There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.

>There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no one's seen before.  :)

>Squirrels will eat anything.

>Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.

>Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.

>If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

>A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

>Onced and Twiced are words.

>It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

>Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.  

>People actually grow and eat okra.

>Fixinto is one word.

>There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then there's supper.

>Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2.

>Backards and forwards means I know everything about you.

>'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

>You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.

>You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.


>More about Georgians...:

>You know you're from Georgia if:

>1. You measure distance in minutes.

>2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same
>day.

>3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

>4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

>5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.

>6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, animal, or insect.

>7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

>8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.  

>9. You know what "cow tipping" is.

>10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, chili powder, and catsup.

>11. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

>12. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

>13. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."

>14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still  summer, and Christmas.  

>15. You know whether another Georgian is from east, west, or middle Georgia mas soon as they open their mouth.

>16. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."

>17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good  chili weather.

>18. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop... it's  a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example "What kinna  coke you want?"

>19. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.

>20. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends  from Georgia.

I'm from Ga. and thought this hilariously right on. Hope you enjoy, cat
"Miserable malalignment"
 Lateral release, medial reefing, VMO advancement, and TTT-  3/2/04
Screw removal- 5/24/05
Cortisone injection to pes anserine- 7/27/05
Femoral derotation osteotomy, TTT revision- 10/18/07

Offline enuff81020

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2003, 02:27:58 AM »
Ha Ha,  Ha Ha...

I'm not from Georgia but my brother now is--has been for  the last 15+ years.  Some  of  these are really so--like the coke thing which drove me crazy when I have visited them.

Anyway, I understood them--and I'm going to send them  on to him--but I am not from Georgia, just guilt  by association.  LOL

Thanks for the :)  Sylvia
Both kneesOA.
Scope on rt knee,9/00;2/01
scope w/ LR and debridement rt knee 2/02
left knee same5/02
Patellar problems
LeftTKR12/16/02
Right TKR7/14/03
Complications MUA 8/14/03
R TKR revisio

Offline enuff81020

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2003, 10:05:41 PM »
Here's a little spinoff I received...


You Live in California when...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You Live in New York City when...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Live in Maine when...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You Live in the Deep South when...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

You live in Colorado when....
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You live in the Midwest when...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name!
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day and vise versa.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

You live in Florida when....
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

Hope  that didn't offend anyone--and being from the midwest--the thing with the mayor is true!!  ha ha, Sylvia
Both kneesOA.
Scope on rt knee,9/00;2/01
scope w/ LR and debridement rt knee 2/02
left knee same5/02
Patellar problems
LeftTKR12/16/02
Right TKR7/14/03
Complications MUA 8/14/03
R TKR revisio

Offline chica_2626

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2003, 10:55:05 PM »
LOL I am from the midwest, true, very very true!  And the "Where's my coat at?"  Is sooooo dead on!  Everyone around here does that!  I think things like that are hilarious, I get em in my email all the time!

Rachel
Lateral Release Right Knee 6-21-02
Peroneal Brevis Tendon Repair Right Ankle 6-29-05

Offline Emily

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2003, 12:06:21 AM »
Wow... I never realized so many of the things I said and did were wierd!!!!

Every soda is coke! The waiters even ask you what kind of coke you want with dinner... meaning coke, sprite,  ect ect!!

About measuring distance in minutes... Do most people not do that?! People call when im working asking how far we are from... wherever... and I always say oh, about 5 minutes from here... or 10 minutes from there,  never thought twice about it!
Would anyone like to explain to me what cow tipping is???? Thats one I dont know!
And then on Sylvias the Yall thing is very true indeed...  the rest of them I understand but thank goodness arent true for my part of the state!

I sound every wierd right about now im sure ::)!

Emily
« Last Edit: June 23, 2003, 12:07:36 AM by KneePain326 »
Right Knee- 10-14-03- LR, TTO, Scope, Plica excision
               4-20-04- Scope, screw removal, scar tissue clean up

Left knee- subluxing, maltracking & malaligned-not ready to start treatmet..

Offline chica_2626

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2003, 02:55:32 AM »
First off I think everywhere in the US people do distance in minutes!   Cow tipping...never done it but I know what it is thanks to Tommy Boy...you go up to a cow sleeping standing up and push it and it supposedly will just fall right over.  And this is supposed to be hilarious...riiiight!  I don't understand it but hey whatever floats your boat!  And even though we were discussing this earlier....coke is coke sprite is sprite coke is not sprite!  coke is not pepsi!  coke is just coke!  You cannot label all soda pop as coke!  Coke is a brand name!  I don't understand it!  I know pop probably doesn't make too much sense (that's what we say around here!  It's an Ohio thing!) but oh well!

Rachel
Lateral Release Right Knee 6-21-02
Peroneal Brevis Tendon Repair Right Ankle 6-29-05

Offline Heather M.

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2003, 03:53:09 AM »
I love these.

But, sorry, Rachel.   ;D ;D  I have to side with Emily on this one....All sodas are cokes, because Coca Cola invented and marketed the concept of a carbonated drink.  I've always called everything a coke, and I grew up in California...what kind of coke do you want is a perfectly reasonable question.   ;)

So that's how you can have Pepsi be a coke (not that you would be served pepsi in Georgia  :o).  Weird, I know, but there you have it.  Kind of like saying 'band-aid' as opposed to adhesive first aid strip.  Band-Aid is a brand name that has come to stand for a generic product, in the same way that Kleenex encompasses all facial tissue.  Coke encompasses all carbonated beverages in the vernacular of most of the US that I've lived in.  But whatever you call it, the stuff is still good!

Isn't English a cool language?  Think about the poor foreigners studying it and trying to make sense out of coke and stuff--be glad you're not trying to figure out all the foibles of our language on your own.  Hehehehehehehehehe.  I used to teach ESL and I would get the funniest questions and expressions of frustration from my kids.

And please, don't get Emily and Gracie and our other southerners started on tea!  Although I do dearly miss my sweet tea from the Waffle House in Georgia.....if you haven't had some, go try it!  It's better than coke any day.

Heather
« Last Edit: June 23, 2003, 03:57:14 AM by hmaxwell »
Scope #1: LR, part. menisectomy w/cyst, chondroplasty
#2-#5: Lysis of adhesions/scar tissue, AIR, patellar tendon debridement, infections, MUA, insufflation
#6: IT band release / Z-Plasty, synovectomy, LOA/AIR, chondroplasty
2006 Arthrofibrosis, patella baja
http://www.flickr.com/photos/hmaxwell

Offline Emily

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2003, 04:10:06 AM »
THANK YOU HEATHER very good analysis!! I actually got on to add onto this topic with another example! People call tissues kleenex right? It doesnt matter if it is the brand name or not a tissue is a kleenex!  And one more, possibly not as nice... People always call boys raching swim suites Speedos, it doesnt matter if it is a Speedo, a TYR, or what ever, if its a boys raching suite we call them speedos! Kinda like calling soda coke.

So THERE  ::)!

Emily ;D

Oh yeah, how have some peope NOT had sweet tea?!
« Last Edit: June 23, 2003, 04:12:15 AM by KneePain326 »
Right Knee- 10-14-03- LR, TTO, Scope, Plica excision
               4-20-04- Scope, screw removal, scar tissue clean up

Left knee- subluxing, maltracking & malaligned-not ready to start treatmet..

Offline enuff81020

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2003, 04:15:40 AM »
OK--this is one of those things we shall agree to disagree on.   :D  ;D  :D  ;)  :) ;)


But kleenex and bandaid and jello--those are  pretty universal. We do not call all soda's coke here in this part  of the country...it is a southern thing.  

Tee hee--when my brother moved to Georgia it drove him nuts too--now he does it like everybody else in Georgia.

As for me, there are too many varities of coke to get them mixed up with 7-Up and the others.  lol

This is fun though--its a big world in some ways and a small world in so many others!  Sylvia

« Last Edit: June 23, 2003, 04:19:26 AM by enuff81020 »
Both kneesOA.
Scope on rt knee,9/00;2/01
scope w/ LR and debridement rt knee 2/02
left knee same5/02
Patellar problems
LeftTKR12/16/02
Right TKR7/14/03
Complications MUA 8/14/03
R TKR revisio

Offline DaveinSC

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2003, 02:41:50 AM »
This is great. Although I'm a southern transplant from Washington State, I have to agree with the southern wit and humor. If laughter is one of the best medicines, then I'm well on my way to a good recovery. Ya'll keep it up....
dave

Offline DaveinSC

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2003, 02:37:20 AM »
OK...SOUTHERN JOKE HERE....

WHAT HAS 32 LEGS AND 27 TEETH ?




A:  The front row at a Willie Nelson concert


Offline ATsoccergirl

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2003, 05:36:40 PM »
Sylvia should appreciate these-


YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM THE QUAD CITIES IF...

You know what the phone number "Car Dead Call Fred"!

Your living room has a Davenport, not a couch.

You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois, and you become irate at people who do.

You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the cities"), and everything is pretty much 45 minutes to and hour and a half away.

You have no problem spelling "MISSISSIPPI" River.

Your school classes were canceled because of the cold weather.

Your school classes were canceled because of the hot weather.

You've switched from heat to air conditioning in the same day.

Your grocery stores don't have sacks; they have bags.

You end your sentences with prepositions: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall, I  wanna go with"

Your idea of a great sandwich is when the meat is twice as big as the bun. It has everything on it, and a slice of dill pickle is on the side.

You have a love for John Deere because have of the people you know works for
the company.

You always carry jumper cables in your car.

You drink "POP", not SODA

You understand that I-80, I-280, I-74, and I-474 are all different highways.

Your directions for getting out of town begin with getting on I-80.

You refer to the Mississippi River as "The River"

You refer to the Quad Cities as "The Cities"

The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1985.

Your favorite sports teams are the: Mallards, Steamwheelers, River Bandits, and the Thunder.  And you follow them even on the road.

You either subscribe to The Dispatch, Rock-Island Argus or the Leader

You have to watch the paper to see which bridge would be best to get across
"The River", since they are all being worked on.

You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car!

You tell everyone you meet on vacation how you miss Whitys Ice cream.

You know Happy Joes, Franks, Shortys and Clints all have the best pizza.

You understand that every year the Rock River floods. It never fails

You try to avoid the Avenue especially on Friday and Saturday nights.

You understand that the new 563 area code replaces much of the old 319, but
not to be confused with the 309.

And, the QUAD CITY CLASSIC:
You drive with your windows down and the Heat on
HIGH during the fall and early spring.

While on vacation you tell people you are either from the Illinois Quad
Cities or the Iowa Quad Cities.
1999 LR, 2002 ACL/PLC recon, reversal of LR, 2004 ACL revision, 2006 Car accident torn PCL and small fractures resulting in bone chips in my knee.  Torn MCL 3 times.  Wicked screws under IT band and Pes Anserine.  June 2008-Hip Arthroscopy.

Offline Erin

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2003, 11:05:25 PM »
Hey, those are great. Im in southern Illinois and some of those sayings are true around here too. Last summer we went to Moline to visit John Deere...lol My dad is a collector of the tractors so we had to go see. I hope everyone else enjoys that.
Erin
7 years left knee pain/popping/giving out
10-20-00 L.knee surgery to tighten knee cap
2 years of right knee pain
9-13-02 Sprained right ankle
6-9-03 Brostrom-gould surgery on right ankle

Offline ATsoccergirl

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #13 on: July 16, 2003, 08:30:32 PM »
Following the redneck theme:


Martha Stewart's Tips For Rednecks

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.


DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.


ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat from the table...no matter how good his manners are.


PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.

2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.


DATING (Outside the Family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.


THEATER ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.

2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.


WEDDINGS

1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.


DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

1999 LR, 2002 ACL/PLC recon, reversal of LR, 2004 ACL revision, 2006 Car accident torn PCL and small fractures resulting in bone chips in my knee.  Torn MCL 3 times.  Wicked screws under IT band and Pes Anserine.  June 2008-Hip Arthroscopy.

Offline LA2047

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Re: for our southern friends  
« Reply #14 on: July 18, 2003, 10:38:36 PM »
Oh man, the ones about how to know if you're from the different states is SO right on.  I've lived in several of those states and what's listed there is absolutely true.  I especially like the one from california about making $250 but not being able to buy a house.  Another one from California, or at least southern California, is:

you don't refer to interstates/highways as "Interstate 80," "Highway 215," or even "I-15."  Instead you refer to them all as "THE 80" or "THE 215" or "THE 15."
Complete PCL & LCL rupture, partial MCL rupture, December 2001 (car meets motorcycle - man meets freeway).  LCL reco 3/02 (donor graft), PCL reco 5/02 (donor graft).  Motorcycle, R.I.P.















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