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Author Topic: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE  (Read 34587 times)

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Offline luckygrandma

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #45 on: January 19, 2007, 05:24:35 PM »
I think my anxietry is mostly from what I have already been through and afraid of it happenng again. Also I have had three knee surgeries thinking this would fix the problem and I kept getting worse. The doctor is encouraged and we did ask a lot of questions during the evaluation and he was great. It's almost hard to imagine that my problem will get better and I will get my life back.  I waited months for this surgery and three days before it was canceled and so two months more seems like forever. I guess the good news is we are in the middle of January so maybe the time will go faster now.

Last night I had this dream that I saw myself lying on the operating table and withnessed the whole surgery.  It's like I saw every detail of the operation, sort of one of those out of body things. I was there but I wasn't. I've never had this happen before.

I try to keep myself busy but it is hard when I have trouble walking as the pain is so bad to put pressure on it. I'm not really taking anything for pain but if I just get off the leg and even use heat it reduces the pauin greatly and so if I can stay off pain meds I would rather. I was on narcotics for the past couple years and felt so out of it all the time.  I had over 200 pills left and flushed them down the toilet.  MY OS doc did give me Darvocet if I need it as I have not had a problem with that but don't see the need to take that either since my pain is mostly when I ambulate. 

I will answer your e-mail soon Laura. I'm off to see my soap now. Becky

Offline peggy1

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #46 on: January 19, 2007, 05:29:36 PM »
Grandma,

You really need to relax. I know it's easier said than done. Dreaming like that must have scared the **** out of you. I don't know how to take those thoughts or anxieties away and reading you posts makes me want to come up to NY and just hold your hand. I'm sorry I'm not in the position to do that but I hope you know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

What soaps are you into?

Peggy


Offline caren

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #47 on: January 19, 2007, 07:11:07 PM »
Grandma
So sorry about your deram that must be so scary to see that I wish that I was closer would love just to spend the day chatting or doing what ever the knees would tolerate
Like Deborah said sure that your daughter is a survivor and we will all keep her and you both in our prayers for sure as well as others that are here
Peggy must be the week for increased therapy mine was increased to day too and the PT told me not to wear my brace or use my crutches and the other one says do so I am so confused and frustrated wish that some one would just give me a straight answer go back to the OS next wed so we will see what he says
Grandma what soaps do you watch I didnt see any of the ones that I normally watch today spent some time on me and got  a perm in my hair maybe it will help the growing out phase of looking like a mop go faster
Have a good day all and will chck in later
Hugs to all
Caren
Caren

Offline luckygrandma

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #48 on: January 19, 2007, 07:19:39 PM »
Hi Peggy and Caren, The only soaps I like to watch on a regular basis is Young and The Restless and Bold and The Beautiful. I've been watching these two soaps since they first aired on TV.  

I know I'll make it through this but I think I have had just too much time to think.  Before I had the holidays to keep me busy so really didn't think too much about it, plus the other surgeon didn't go into a lot of detail about the surgery and made it sound like it was nothing.  He told me three days in the hopsital, three months to heal etc. Now that has gone from doctor won't tell to we'll see. I'm going to Nashville this summer with some friends if I have to crawl so it will give me the incentive to get better. My daughter is a nurse and she just talked to someone who had this surgery and they said they were up walking the same day. I was walking with my TKR too but it hurt like heck.  The other sureon also told me I would be in pain for three days, my son who had major back surgery when he was in his early 20's siaid "Don't count on it"  I guess the best way to look at this is I'm already in pain but at least it should keep getting better and not worse.  Also my TKR has had a year to heal and going back to therapy got my full ROM back and so I have that to look forward to also.

Thanks for the offer of holding my hand but it isn't necessary for you to make the trip. I have a lot of people here holding my hand.  Becky
« Last Edit: January 19, 2007, 07:21:42 PM by luckygrandma »

Offline peggy1

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #49 on: January 19, 2007, 08:09:25 PM »
Grandma,

I guess you will just have to wait and find out more info before you drive yourself nuts. Another thing everybody heals differently. I went to therapy last night and couldn't walk with the 1 crutch, when I made it to the chair I just burst out crying. I said tp the pt that I should be walking now, he said not necessarily, everybody is different. The one bad thing I have going for me is that I am a diabetic, and dibetics heal slower. I think this stinks but I can't so anything about it. I am not in a good mood today, I am disgusted with going to pt 3 days a week, not being able to walk with the 1 crutch and my foot is swollen and it along with my bad knee hurts. I am just a tad bit cranky. My husband called to see how I was doing and he could tell by my voice that I am miserable. Just want to feel better, that's all. Guess I'm having a pity party, haven't had one in awhile and don't particularly like them either.

I used to watch those sopas too. Now I just read about The Guiding Light and AS the World Turns online.

Caren, which ones do you watch?

Peggy




Offline luckygrandma

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #50 on: January 19, 2007, 10:55:44 PM »
Peggy, I think you are the one who needs a little TLC today.  I have had those days at PT. Of course this last time while I was rehabilitating from my TKR I couldn't get it through their head that I had all this leg pain and couldn't bend my knee becasue it made it hurt worse. PT has been terrible about this.  Even this last PT I went to all they kept telling me was bend that knee, bend that knee. I got so sick of hearing this I could have hit them with my cane. As it turned out I wasn't crazy after all and there was a very good reason why I couldn't bend the knee. It wasn't because it wouldn't bend but because when I bent the knee it would pinch the nerve and so to avoid this I walk stiff legged.  When I sit I can bend my knee great. The neurosurgeon knew exactly why I wasn't bending. I have been to so many therapist over the years and I've never gone back to the same one twice as I found fault with all of them. The ony therapy I will consent to after my back surgery is to go back to where I was ding hot water therapy. Do you have a YMCA where you can get in a pool, they also have  a hot tub, or anyplace where they offer hot water therapy. You would be amazed at the difference water can make. 

I'm so sorry you are feeling bad today Peggy. You have been so supportive and here you are with all your problems thinking about coming here to hold my hand. Maybe we should hold each others.

Hey guys could you call me Becky, I feel old enough these days. 

Offline peggy1

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #51 on: January 20, 2007, 02:33:23 PM »
Hi Becky,

I have to agree therapy SUCKS!!! My pt is really caring and even though he pushes, which I know is part of their job, he will back off when I tell him I can't do anymore. He is just concerned about getting me walking with a cane. Maybe I have a thing about this and think I can't do it?? I don't know, I want to walk but I want to walk on my own. It's really the foot that hurts and limits me at this point. It is not so swollen this morning so I will try walking around the house with my walker. Later I told my husband I need to go to the store and get new bed pillows and I need some PJ's, mine are falling off of me.

We have a Y not to far from me but I think their pool is an outside one and besides I can't drive yet so that won't work for me. I have a large soaking tub and I have sat in that for awhile and yes it does feel good and I can get the leg moving really well in it. I usually go in when my husband is home, tough getting out at this point.

I feel much better today and hope that everyone else is also. These problems are a royal pain for us all.

Have a great day and thanks for the support!!

Peggy



Offline luckygrandma

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #52 on: January 20, 2007, 08:49:07 PM »
Peggy, it never rains but it poors. Today I went for an eye exame since I haven't had my eyes examined since 2003. Thought I would really start this year out right and fix everything, new glasses, new back, new knee etc. I couldn't beleive it. On the initial exam the doc said he thinks I have cateracts in my left eye and wanted to examine further, so he ran some tests. My husband got his eyes examined at the same time. Well, $722 later I'm told I do have cateracts and will be needing eye surgery probably within a year as it will only get worse. I have had surgery every year for the past 4 years and I guess I've run out of bones so now they want to start on my eyes.  I hate getting old. 

I just finsihed writing you a long letter and hit the wrong button and lost it all so before that happens again I'll end it here and write another one for the rest.  Becky
« Last Edit: January 20, 2007, 11:13:48 PM by luckygrandma »

Offline peggy1

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #53 on: January 20, 2007, 10:52:14 PM »
Becky,

I am so sorry to hear about the cataracts. I hate getting old too. I hope you get this done soon, it is very important. It's not really like surgery these days, will they use a lasar? I know what you mean by pouring!!! I was hoping this year would be kinder to all of us. I can't believe it cost you so much, don't you have eye coverage? Will the medical pick up the tab for the cataracts? I have also had alot of different types of surgery, c-section, hysterectomy, sinus, carpal tunnel, another surgery on the ulna part of my arm ( can't remember the technical name), gallbladder, knee and another knee coming up in April. I've had enough too. I hope all goes well with the eyes, keep us posted and don't let it get you down.

Peggy


Offline luckygrandma

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #54 on: January 21, 2007, 12:00:53 PM »
Unfortuantely our insurance policy doesn't have eye coverage for glasses and checkups. They will cover tests that are medically related. The $724 doesn't even cover these tests . We have to pay this.They were over $300 more that is being submitted to the insurance company  I am taking my receipt back to them when I get our glasses and question this as we have never had it cost this much before.l  Is it no wonder we don't get our eyes checked every year.  They always give you new precscription which lead to new frames, etc etc. I can't even think about eye surgery right now as I have enough to deal with and I do not  feel my eyes are that bad now to warant it. This surgery has to be justified and a year will tell more.  It doesn't seem to matter how monor the surgery is you go through just as much crap to get there.  I will take care of it next year though.

Hey, Don't let those therapist rush you out of the walker any sooner then you want to go. This is a crappy time of year and you might better stick with it if it makes you feel safer. They did this to me and I ended up worse off and started twisiting my body. A cane doesn't give you much support from falling. The only reason they do this is because they dont feel they are doing their job and it will reflect on them if things aren't going to protocol.  I think this is the reason my back went downhill so fast after my TKR.  I tried to tell them about my back but they had a one track mind. I think the reason I think my last therapy was better is becasue I went for both my back and knee, which meant two doctors involved and two prescriptions. That way they had to bite off their noses to spite their face. If my back hurt doing knee exercises then that wasn't the right exercise. Therapist have made matters worse more then once. Becky
« Last Edit: January 21, 2007, 02:50:11 PM by luckygrandma »

Offline caren

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #55 on: January 21, 2007, 02:56:21 PM »
Grandma I can sympathize with you on the cataract thing went to get my eyes chckd in Sept and found out that I had them too I had just had my eyes chckd in Jan I asked the dr ( the new one) why I was not told of this before and she told me that they just didnt look they were there and in plain sight so should have seen them so needless to say I am with you on the needing surgery for that one too  :o
they did tell me to try contact lenses to prolong the need for surgery and so far that has helped alot i just went for far vision with the contacts and wear a pair of readers from wally world so that might be something to consider for you sorry you dont have ins that will cover glasses are terribly spendy things
Hate the getting old part too geez if i would have known i was going to live this long would have done things different that is for sure lol
snowing here again to day so far about 6 inches so I wont be going out at all today and the way that the knee feels will spend the day with it iced and propped since I twisted it badly yday and couldnt even stand the blanket on it last night
hugs to all
caren
Caren

Offline luckygrandma

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #56 on: January 21, 2007, 05:22:55 PM »
Hi Caren, Boy does it ever end for us.  As far as wearing contact lenses, I can't stand the thought of anything in my eyes.  Compared to the surgery I am facing this would be a piece of cake, but it still is the thought of it and frustration.  I see what he says next year and maybe even go someplace else for a second opinion.  I'm seeing a little blurry but haven't had my eyes checked in 4 years but my glasses are probably also scratched etc.  I was shocked at this becasue basically I don't feel I have that much trrouble seeing that it doesn't seem realistic to me.  Are you going to eventually have the surgery.

I agree Caren that we probably would have been kinder to our bodies if we had any idea they would wear out before we did.  My GP says I have the heart and lungs of a 20 year old but my framewrok is wearing out. I'm sure my singing helps a lot to keep my lungs strong.  He said I am a great cnsisate for surgery, Ciould they be using me for experimental reasons.

We finally got some snow, only about 3 inches though. My son lives in Vermont and they have 18 inches.  I guess winter finally got here. I'm calling the Spine Specialist office tomorrow and find out why I have not received my surgical packet for my preop testing etc. How soon did any of you get it before your surgery. I could swear in the past I've had it two months prior.


Offline DeborahinNC

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #57 on: January 21, 2007, 07:09:19 PM »
Hi all,

Becky - I'm sorry about your eyes.  Compared to what else you have been through when it comes time this will probably be a piece of cake.  See this is why people don't see doctors.  When I do pt. interviews and they say they have no medical history the next question is always how long has it been since you've seen a doctor.  Many are over 20 years.  Well no wonder you have no history.  I am starting to understand why though - if you don't know you don't worry.  I will tell you that my sister's partner has been through several catarac surgeries.  She had uncontrolled diabetes for years so has required multiple times but usually it is once.  I know you have to get through the back first and foremost.

Peggy - I agree with Becky.  Don't let PT take you off the walker to early.  It does offer much more stability than a cane and if its slippery outside the extra legs of the walker can only be a help.  You'll get to the cane when your ready.  Maybe you'll get to the cane in the house and still use the walker outside (winter especially).

I'm still hoping that 2007 will be better for all of us.  North Carolina is still pretty much winter free.  Cold here today and a little freezing rain but it is supposed to warm up so will just be rainy today.  Good napping day (or homework for me).  Have a good day all - Deborah

Offline peggy1

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #58 on: January 21, 2007, 07:46:52 PM »
Becky and Deborah,

Hello, don't worry about them taking me off of using the walker. It is hard enough walking with that and the crutches, let alone a 1 legged piece of equipment. I guess he has to try per the continuation of the therapy but he is not rushing me. He knows about the pain in the one foot, the same side as the bad knee and he lets me go at my own pace. Don't know if this is a good thing or not but am not going to force the issue. The way I look at it, when these legs are ready I will know it and take off like a bat out of **** I am so afraid of the knee buckling and me falling that I think this fear is somehow taking over my brain and I do drag the better leg. I say better leg because this leg is the one with the deep bone bruise that has taken more than 3 months for the pain to subside but when I move it a certain way it lets me know that it is not completely healed and I am so afrain of reinjuring it again. This pain was as bad if not worse than the break. So slow and steady progress for me and the os seems satisfied with where I am at. My rom was 100 degrees last Thursday, so that is a plus!

Hope you are having a pain free Sunday.

Becky, hope the grandkids are enjoying the little bit of snow that you got.

Deborah, enjoy the warmer weather, it has finally started to get cold here in PA. YUCK!!!

Peggy


Offline luckygrandma

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Re: UPDATE ON MY NIGHTMARE
« Reply #59 on: January 22, 2007, 03:24:31 PM »
Dear Diary HA!!. Today is starting out to be a better day. I called the office of the doctor doing the surgery, and asked when I would be getting information for my preop appointments.  The surgical nurse told me she was working on it now and I would be receiving it the first part of February.  Anyway, I guess I'm still having surgery, After what has happened to me I won't beleive it until I'm on the operating table but seeing 

I
« Last Edit: February 03, 2007, 01:59:08 AM by luckygrandma »















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