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Author Topic: Misguided Fools  (Read 7921 times)

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Offline sjdean

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Misguided Fools
« on: May 23, 2006, 04:02:34 PM »
I love it when people attempt to offer you advice, but instead of asking questions about your injury, they just make their own assumptions and criticise and then storm off in a huff when you threaten to put them right. They come across as condescending and arrogant.

So far, I've had this quadricep rupture suggested as nothing worse than a kid breaking a leg while skiing.

I can't speak on that one, but from what I gather around here, that's strictly not true. It's a lot worse.

Then when you say "I really can't sit down in a car to be a passenger, and much as I love being shaken while lying on the backseat of a car, with no seat belt, so I could go flying through the window an emergency, I don't think that's a good idea".

Im then told not to put any limits on myself! Well, I'd love to see you get into a passenger seat without bending your leg. Then they suggest I should get out anyway becaue my knee will be in just as much agony at home. Hrm. Well, you obviously don't know that much then, because if you sit still, there's no niggles.

Then they turn around, being awfully "smart" saying "I've seen people hop on one leg, and crutches help".

Yes, you think, but if you bothered to ask what was going on instead of just giving your opinion, you'd know that it would be pretty impossible to hop through the cinema, hop up and down the city high street, and you'd know how difficult it is to get around without losing your balance.

But how does hopping help get into a car?

So they say "Get a different car, I used to have a Mercedes"

Ahh, Ok, so you want me to spend several thousand pound, on a car that I don't like, with money I don't have, or a credit rating I don't have, to solve a temporary issue?

That's all.

Cheers
Simon



Offline Nettan

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2006, 04:22:59 PM »
Simon, I know how boring it is with people trying to solve problems they have no idea about.
Believe me after my kneeaccident 9 years ago I have heard thousands ideas to solve my kneeproblems.But I really get it off my shoulders and don't listen.
Hope you feel better soon.

HUGS NETTAN  8)
Surgery 6 times left knee torn meniscus, RSDS,chondromalacia, nervdamage cause constant nervpain,chronic inflamm.
Spinaldamage wheeler 100%.
Right knee damaged aug-06, use brace surgery 4/9-07.LCL tear.

Offline BridgetJones_uk

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2006, 06:32:26 PM »
I hope you feel better too. The suggestion that my 1st OS gave me was well you can still do ballet in a don joy brace....errr, can you imagine tutu and big blue NHS piece of steel. Yep that would do wonders.! I think they think that they're helping and all you feel is patronised and like you wanna punch them!

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Trauma - Dislocation '96
Chondromalacia, PFS '01
Shallow trochlear groove, Patella Alta & tight ITB dx '03
Right Modified Galeazzi, LR and scope 2004
Left Modified Galeazzi, LR  2005
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Offline UK Girl !

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2006, 10:29:45 PM »
My OS wanted me to change my job - this was  5 years ago - so I did, he wants me to change my job again! - perhaps I'll get a job in a sleep research centre!
Car was not good - too low down - sporty model - so now have 4WD - hubbie wants the sporty one back!

I know - I'll get my knee fixed! (very soon now)

Boss tells me not to lift anything too heavy in one breath then tells me it's what I get paid for!

oh that was all very bitter - sorry - really am in a good mood
1978 - ruptured acl and all cartalidge removed.
several debridements over years
TKR 10TH JULY 2006 http://www.kneeguru.co.uk/KNEEtalk/index.php?topic=28257.0  Aug 07 patellar maltracking - more physio! Still pain - but so much better !
BIOMET AGC  TKR  (with 10 yr warranty !)

Offline alvinator

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2006, 11:21:19 PM »
Simon, I know exactly how you feel. (I'm Al R.) After my Jan 18 Quadriceps tendon surgery, when I rode in a car, I had to sit in the back seat with my leg straight out. It was neither comfortable or safe as I couldn't attach my seatbelt. There was no way I could sit in the front seat.

Ignore the wisecrackers, they have no idea what you are going through; the rehab required for a quadriceps tendon rupture is far worse and longer than even a knee replacement rehab.

I hope you will be getting professional physical therapy soon.

Take care!

Offline sjdean

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2006, 09:52:32 AM »
Thank you everyone for your thoughts. Im glad Im not alone in receiving do-gooding advice. Makes me sad though for the state of the world though, so many assumptions.

And thanks for posting Al. Im glad you found the site. Hope to see you around here some more.

Cheers
Simon

Offline Janet

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2006, 12:01:18 AM »
Simon:

We've all been there! I don't think people mean to be hurtful, but they are. I used to get so mad when they'd say: "Oh, some day you'll wake up and be fine." Yeah, right. Maybe I'll be "fine" after my knee replacement. Yep, I just found out that's what I need.

At least I had a wonderfully supportive husband who would "load" me into the car (you know what I mean, right?) when I couldn't lift my leg or sit in the front seat. Since I was in the immobilizer for almost three months, that meant three months of riding in the backseat. You're right, it's not very safe. But I couldn't stay inside for three months! Also the people I work with have been incredibly wonderful through this whole thing. I don't know what I would have done if I'd had to "fight" them!

This is a great place to come and let off steam. We really do understand what you are saying! And yes, recovering from a quad tendon rupture is far harder and longer than recovering from a knee replacement. Soft tissue injuries are definitely worse than fractures.

Janet
Torn quad tendon repair & VMO advancement 4/99, MUA with LOA 10/99, Patella baja and arthrofibrosis, LR & medial release & LOA 5/01, LOA & chondroplasty 6/03,TKR on 11/06, MUA 12/06. From perfect knees to a TKR in 7 years, all from a fall on a wet floor...and early undiagnosed scar tissue.

Offline sjdean

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2006, 06:00:37 PM »
I don't think people mean to be hurtful, but they are.

LOL!

I don't know what it is with people. People are becoming more isolated I find, they're not caring, they're individuals and have no time for others. They have time to give advice, but they don't care about asking questions because, they're right. Even when they're wrong. Get's me so frustrated and mad. And when you point out the injustices, you just get told off, and people say you're a f***ing baby, grow up!

I tried getting into the passenger seat today. Figured I might do OK, since I was getting about 70 degree of knee bend, 80 degree with discomfort. But I just didn't have enough "free play". Desperately want some anti inflammatories. Need some betnovate too. But I'll have to go to the flaming GP though... you watch.

Anyhow, couldn't get into the car. I could get into the backseat though, by myself!

And if I swing my leg, I can now keep it straight just about. I couldn't do that a couple of days OK. My knee does feel incredibly bruised and painful if I try to raise my leg from sitting down.

So, you need a knee replacement too? Im sorry to hear this. Will there be further complications with your quads rupture? Has the surgery been scheduled?

Cya
Simon

Offline Heather M.

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2006, 12:39:39 AM »
Simon,

I woke up from surgery following an infection cleanout with my leg absolutely frozen.  It wouldn't bend, it wouldn't straighten, I was stuck at abou 35 degrees of flexion when I left the hospital.  So it wasn't a matter of not being allowed to bend my leg, I simply couldn't.  It was tough--I'm sure you guys understand how it impacts you not to be able to bend your leg!

Anyway, I found that even with my leg almost completely straight, I was able to get in and out of the car if I went bum first.  So I'd enter bum first, either with someone supporting my leg while it was held out in front of me, or supporting it myself by placing my crutch under the whole leg--from thigh to ankle.  I'd enter the backseat through one door, bum first, and exit through the other door--bum first.  Quite graceful, I know, but it works.

Heather
Scope #1: LR, part. menisectomy w/cyst, chondroplasty
#2-#5: Lysis of adhesions/scar tissue, AIR, patellar tendon debridement, infections, MUA, insufflation
#6: IT band release / Z-Plasty, synovectomy, LOA/AIR, chondroplasty
2006 Arthrofibrosis, patella baja
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Offline sjdean

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #9 on: May 26, 2006, 09:31:09 AM »
Hi Heather,

I can certainly get into the backseat. But there still remains of actually getting into the passenger seat. Makes things a little difficult without enough knee bend.

As far as the backseat goes, I tend to get myself in and out by supporting my right leg with my left leg. I just have to make sure I wear slippery clothes to slide a bit easier. :-)

Cya
Simon

Offline blackbeltgirl

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #10 on: May 26, 2006, 01:23:46 PM »
Simon -

It may just be a matter of height.  Even with am immoblized leg, shorter folks are more likely to be able to sit in the front seat, since we don't need as much leg room.  You've probably already done this, but just in case - have someone set the passenger seat as far back as it goes, and lean the seatback backwards a bit.  If there is enough room for your leg to sit straight out, it may just be a matter of practice to get in and out of the front seat.  But if you're tall, it's possible that no matter how far back that seat goes, there just isn't enough room for you to keep your leg out straight.  (Especially if it's a smaller car.)  If  you're not sure, maybe a friend who's about yoru height can check this for you, or you can borrow a larger car to see if it makes a difference.

Good luck - don't let this injury keep you stuck at home for the duration.
Jess

ACI was supposed to be 2/21/06.  On 6/29/06 Insurance co said have another scope, and if it still looks good, they'll ok the ACI.
Microfracture Dec 7, 2004
   3cm x 6cm lesion, LFC; 3cm x 1cm lesion, trochlear groove; lateral tibial plateau lesion
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Offline sjdean

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #11 on: May 29, 2006, 02:51:47 PM »
Yes, not only am I fairly tall, but I have long legs as well. It's pretty impossible for me at the moment to get enough flexibility to move my leg past the door. I am largely stuck at home, but I have no real reason to get around. I don't feel stable enough on crutches to really warrant socialising in the town centre. As for driving, I don't like the idea of driving and not having enough control over my leg in order to apply the brake pedal.

Cya
Simon

knee deep in Goo

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2006, 04:35:33 PM »
boy I remember those days.. When you are stuck at home.  You just get into this sleeping habit.  I think three months into my recovery.. I was brazen enough to want to go to the video store.. and found it was a test of endurance... to wait on line.  I only started to drive in April just before I started back to work.. And even work has been a challenge for me to get around. . However, there is a light at the end of this knee crap tunnel.  Just when you think to yourself. When will I ever get better. You get to that next level.   Everyone heals differently.. 

 A few times I thought I was going wackie.. with frustration and tears during my loss of mobility..   Than I read some one put the exact term .. I had been looking for..  and its Grief...  Good Grief ..    Everytime I think of that word. I think of Charles Shultz Peanuts..   Good grief Charlie Brown what have you gotten your self into. ..   I say that when I get frustrated. .. to myself of course. or mutter. so slightly .. 

I am not sure of where you live. but sometimes if you need special medical transportation there are companies that you can call on to .. bring you back and forth to the doctor..  You know in a Van or someThing. .. you are not buying a new car.. you are just renting .. Also I dont why but you sound british..   and  God knows they have small tiny cars..

maybe a skate board under the bad leg will help you swiggle into the back seat of your car..


I know what it feels like.. I had two panic attacks  .. after my operation in Jan.. ..  I thought to myself how the hell  am i going to get into my chevy blazer.. somehow I managed..  .. however not one of my best moments in life..

The second one was getting out of the car.. that same day.. I could barely move my leg..on crutches..

Offline UK Girl !

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #13 on: May 29, 2006, 04:55:05 PM »
hmmm - small cars - ah yes - probably to do with saving the ozone layer!!   We care very much here about exhaust emissions - and the vehicle tax is so much more for larger cars - and if you had to pay the same for your fuel as we do you would prob have a smaller car!

and  before anyone shouts at me that I drive a 4WD - I only have it until my knee is fixed as I could not get in and out of a smaller car - so I will go back to being terribly British
1978 - ruptured acl and all cartalidge removed.
several debridements over years
TKR 10TH JULY 2006 http://www.kneeguru.co.uk/KNEEtalk/index.php?topic=28257.0  Aug 07 patellar maltracking - more physio! Still pain - but so much better !
BIOMET AGC  TKR  (with 10 yr warranty !)

Hop skip n jump

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #14 on: May 29, 2006, 05:56:25 PM »
Hey

I know what you mean about small cars! I have a VW Golf and not a hope in hell of getting in it as I'm six foot and immobilized! Grrrr! Don't even get me started on fuel prices!
You drive whatever you can Anj if it means you have a temporary better quality of life! Being stuck in sucks!
Simon
Don't take any notice of the ignorent bar stewards that don't understand or simply don't care!(Easy to say thought eh!)  Like you there are some nice people still around who do give a toss about others well being. When people judge or make assumptions I try to imagine how the would feel if in our position and you can bet your bottom dlooar they would probably be pretty lonley if their reactions to others is anything to go by! Keep venting keep posting and keep smiling
Happy Days
Hop  ;)

Offline Doc79316

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #15 on: May 31, 2006, 12:09:19 AM »
Hi,

I drive a Renault Clio 3-door hatchback and my hubby drives a Rover 416 5-door hatchback. Even though the Rover is the bigger car, I find it far easier to get into and out of the Clio. I think maybe because it's a 3-door vehicle the doors are bigger than those on the Rover, so more space is provided near to the seat when the doors are fully open. This poses a problem when trying to find a parking space - I need to park in such a way that I can open my door fully (whether I'm driving or a passenger) in order to get in and out of the car. Sometimes it's difficult but never have I found it impossible.

When my leg was completely immobilised I used the trick of pushing the seat right back and changing the angle of the back of the seat. This way, I could get into or out of any car at all. Admittedly I'm not that tall - only 5' 6" so I suppose that's something I should be grateful for.

I've found up until now that people that come across as ignorant or condescending do so because they don't understand what having a knee problem involves. The general public cannot grasp the concept that it affects everything you do, from getting up in the morning to going to bed at night - assuming you make it that far. I'm very lucky in that people at work have been absolutely fantastic and when they ask questions they actually listen to what I have to say.

Something else I've noticed too. Years ago people would've just stood and stared if they saw you with a leg brace on, particularly if it was the size that I have which can only be worn outside my clothes. Now I find people are more prepared to ask what's happened to my leg. At first I thought this was a bit cheeky, but I think it's better than having stares and people pointing. I think I'd rather have them ask and I can explain in a couple of sentences.

Having said that, I keep posting, keep venting, smiling is something I have difficulty with right now but I'm sure my happy knee days will come one day.

Take care,

Laura x
« Last Edit: May 31, 2006, 12:17:41 AM by laura79316 »
Left knee surgery
08/06/02 - L/Release
13/08/03 - Fulkerson TTT
05/06/05 - Stabilisation & Medialisation/Tendon Transfer
13/01/06 - Proximal Hamstring Superior Stabilisation
06/03/06 - RSD/CRPS diagnosed
20/07/06 + 03/04/07- Excision of scar tissue
30/07/07 - PKR suggested by OS (no date yet)

Offline sjdean

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #16 on: May 31, 2006, 09:29:57 PM »
Howdy!

Yeah, Im from the UK everyone. It's not so much that people are rude that I object about, but that they choose to be rude without asking questions, without knowing the full facts.

I myself drive a Nissan Primera. Today I just got into my mom's car in the passenger side. I have to have the seat all the way back normally to drive, so, in this condition, even with the chair all the way back, and the back down, I just didn't have the flexibility to get in. I can't squeeze past the door.

Finally managed today, with the seat upright too. But, I was far too uncomfortable. Still don't have the degree of knee bend I require to feel comfortable with the pedals. I have to have about 95 degrees normally for the pedals. My knee just feels far too tight, and I wouldn't feel in any degree of control.

Sometimes I wonder if this is worse than being permanently disabled. I mean, it's sort of being in limbo. You can't park in disabled spaces, you're not allowed any extra attention, but yet you have a similar set of problems.

Cheers
Simon

knee deep in Goo

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #17 on: June 01, 2006, 12:46:06 AM »
In the usa -- The lovely state of New Jersey wiill issue temp disability parking for a small fee of 4.00 amd that will get you 6 months of lovely handicapped parkingl.  The doctor has to sign the form that you get at the local police department.  and you can get renewals..

Ofcourse.. one hopes for the day they do not need handicapped parking.. well there is always that christmas hope..

Offline Charliemouse

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Re: Misguided Fools
« Reply #18 on: June 01, 2006, 12:12:25 PM »
How many of you have heard that immortal line .....a had a mate who did that they were fine after a couple of weeks. ::)
18/06/05 Injured trampolining
Fixed Flexion 20-90 deg until...
01/09/05 lateral meniscectomy (40%)
09/06/06 Patella tendon aclr
09/09/06 Back on the tramp (carefully)
10 years on and still going strong
!!Stop twisting when you land or it hurts!!















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