I need some Encouragement!

[SarahJane]

I'm sat here feeling absolutely and utterly devastated ...

At my last Hospital Appointment in March I was told that I needed an Urgent Arthroscopy ...  apparently Urgent means that it might possibly happen some time in June.   
And whilst waiting I'm not allowed to do any Physio, am practically housebound etc. 

When I found out that the Arthroscopy wasn't likely to happen for months, I complained to the Management, who approached the Consultant to ask if things could be brought forward.  He refused as there are other people in similar situations who's Operations are just as urgent as mine etc. etc.   This was upsetting, but understandable (I guess!  )

But ....I've got lots of questions about the reasons for the Arthroscopy etc. so I asked for an appointment with my Consultant to discuss these things.  Given the fact that the Op won't happen for ages, I didn't think it wouldn't be a problem ...

But apparently it is a problem and he's REFUSING to see me!
He's said that he'll write to me ... but absolutely and utterly refuses to see me!  He says his Outpatients appt. list is full and there is no need for an appt as the Junior Registrar has seen me and explained things.

I feel everso slightly rejected by this     

I haven't been given any indication that there are any plans for fixing my missing Tendon, and don't want further Surgery unless it's absolutely necessary. All I wanted was 10 mins to ask Why he wants to do the Arthoscopy, is there any risk of further damage to my Scar Tissue, Can I at least do some Physio whilst waiting, Does he have any plans for reconstructing my patella tendon etc. etc. 

I know that I'm a PITA, but I feel scared about the Op. and need some reassurance from the person who would actually be doing it (and given my previous experiences I think that's a reasonable request)

In the past few weeks, I've hit rock bottom!   
I've had to apply for Disability Living Allowance etc. and I wake up every morning feeling as if life just doesn't feel worth living 

and now the man who's supposed to operate on my Knee refuses to meet me - and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it!

I'm left with a strong feeling of ...... Do I want this man to operate on me? 
Which is probably a childish reaction    but if he hasn't got the empathy to understand that I need some reassurance...  if he doesn't think it appropriate to find some time to spend a few minutes with me, then I'm not sure that he's the Consultant for me!   

So ... what do I do next ......   Am I over-reacting? 

What do you guys/gals think about this?

S

[Doc79316]

Hi Sarah Jane,

Firstly, i I were you I'd change my OS. There's no what I would trust a man to slice my knee to pieces if he's not prepared to explain to me what's going on and why> Why does he want to write to you? What will that achieve? Wil it answer all your questions? I doubt it.

Try TODAY searching for another OS who specialises in knees. Even if it's a longer wiat, isn't it worth it to get away from this bombastic, arrogant, over-confident muppet?! If necessary, go back to your GP for another referral. Alternatively, if you're prepared to travel, have a look at the surgeons list on this site. Or, someone here may be able to recommend someone to you.

Good luck and let u sknow how you get on.

Take care,

Laura x

[blackbeltgirl]

I'll offer the other side of the situation.  While I don't think your OS handled the situation well, or communicated well, why can't he answer your questions in writing?  I swithced OS's in November, and have only met with my current OS once.  Granted, he's 350 miles away from me, and we've been fighting my insurance company for permission to fix my knee.  BUT - he responds to most e-mails within 24 hours.  I periodically come up with new questions, and just shoot him an e-mail.  His responses are generally complete, and it solves the issue.  When I have follow up questions, we go another round.

There's nothing wrong with wanting a better understanding of the planned procedure.  And it's possible, when he reviews your list of questions, that he'll realize things were not explained to you, or at least not well, and reconsider an in-person meeting.  But start by faxing/e-mailing your list of questions, and see if his responses make you feel more comfortable about the situation.

Good luck-
Jess

[SarahJane]

Thanks for the replies!

Jess ... I don't mind him writing to me - in fact,  I would applaud any form of communication.  It would be great to get something on paper and I would be even happier to be able to email him to ask questions.
The problem is that no one has asked me what my questions were and I was made to feel that I was being incredibly difficult for having the nerve to ask for an appointment!      I can't understand an arbitary refusal for a 10 minute OP appointment sometime over the next 2 months.   It just seems bizarre.   When I've got perspective on things I shall write a list of questions and stick them in the mail.

Laura .... I'm ROFL'ing at your description!  your words describe exactly what I felt ...   I have already started to look for another Consultant - but won't burn my bridges yet! 

Unfortunately, I think that my bad experiences with my first Surgeon and the appalling way that the Hospital Management dealt with the situation has affected the way that I perceive things.  I feel very vulnerable and insecure with them and am probably overly sensitive to small (?) issues!   I find it difficult to understand that my knee isn't their Number One priority  and that they don't seem bothered about leaving me immobile etc.   I want my life back ... and they aren't helping me ....(*stamping my foot, having tantrum ) so I'm not reacting well to things.     

I'm beginning to think that my relationship with the Hospital has broken down to such a degree that it would be best to draw a line under it and start afresh with a new Hospital/Consultant etc.!

S

[kittent1211]

What country are you in?  I ask this because people in counties where there is socialized medicine do not  have the options that  we in the USA have.  If you are in the US then I would ditch that doc. and get a new one.  If you are in the US what state and city are you in?  Maybe some one on this message board will know of a good OS you can see.

Teresa

[SarahJane]

Hi Teresa,   I'm in the UK ... and a victim of the wonderful NHS - but the new NHS rules means that I can  ask for a referral and chose a new Hospital/Consultant

I think that I'm going to get an appointment with my Doctor and ask for a new referral - it might take a while, but I'm not going anywhere fast!    

I'm fairly lucky because I live close to London and there are a lot of Hospitals nearby .... 

S