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Author Topic: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!  (Read 4289 times)

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Offline Clarinet'09

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I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« on: April 17, 2006, 10:57:08 PM »
 Ever since Easter this past Sunday I've been really depressed. I decided to wear high heels to church on Easter Sunday with my dress, but about halfway through the service my knee just gave out cause it couldnt handle my weight anymore(we stand up a lot during the service). It makes me so MAD that because of my knee problem i cant do normal everyday things anymore like walk in high heels, ride the bus and walk normally!!! :'( Do you know how you can lock your knees so that it feels like theyre bending backwards but theyre really not? Well my bad knee do that on its own when i walk!!! If i stand up to long or walk to long i have to sit down cause my knee hurts so much. Also if i sit with my knee bent to long i have to spread it out or else it will lock. I feel like an old lady in regards to my knee but im only 14!!! On next wednesday i have to go in for an MRI and schedule my scope surgery and im scared to death!!! What if i cant go back to playing soccer?!?!?!?And on top of all of this this i am forced to leave my hometown because my dad got relocated!!! I just dont know what to do anymore :'(. Thanks for letting me vent!!!!!
                    ~Chelsea~
Chelsea - 17 years old - soccer + band = LIFE
4/29/06  left knee popped followed by intense pain while playing soccer
5/30/06  Bone spur removal
4/20/07  LR right knee
11/19/07 LR left knee
1/16/08  MUA left knee
11/03/08 LR recon, MPFL recon right knee
4/20/09 LR recon, MPFL recon left knee

Offline Flame

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2006, 11:48:29 PM »
Honey, I know you are scared and you are so young. You have your whole life ahead of you though. Don't give up! You will do wonderful with your surgery and in your new town. I have been to Tenn. and it is so beautiful there. One thing that I try to do when I get depressed is to not think about all the bad in my life but try to focus on all the good. I know that sounds hard, and some days are easier than other, but you are going to be great.

Dont ever give up and remember that all these people are here for you.  ;)  They have helped me so much.

Keep smiling! ;D

Laura

Offline Clarinet'09

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2006, 03:32:41 AM »
  Thanks so much Laura!!! At the moment i feel that my whole world is coming to an end what witht the move and all. Were waiting till the end of the school year to make the move. Tennessee is all ive ever know and all of my friends are here not to mention my first real crush. Its hard to tell but i think he might be interested i never did let on that i have a crush on him so ill have to get his email and see how things pick up from there. Im so active in the community that i have friends everywhere and thats a big accomplishment since im so shy!!! I just got done balling my eyes out in my room. How can someone do this...i mean they just tell you that you have a few months to end your life in your hometown and pick up your family of five and move to where you know noone!!! Its so unfair!!! They needed my dad too it was a miscommunication thats making us move. They couldnt go back after they made that mistake. I HATE GENERAL MOTORS!!!!!!!!!! Sorry.........
               ~Chelsea~
Chelsea - 17 years old - soccer + band = LIFE
4/29/06  left knee popped followed by intense pain while playing soccer
5/30/06  Bone spur removal
4/20/07  LR right knee
11/19/07 LR left knee
1/16/08  MUA left knee
11/03/08 LR recon, MPFL recon right knee
4/20/09 LR recon, MPFL recon left knee

Offline Flame

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2006, 02:35:25 PM »
My ex husband is wanting to move about two hours away. With the condition my knees are in I made arrangements for the kids to live with him so I know how you ae feeling. I have to be with my kids. I am going to have to pack up and move also to a new town soon. I understand. He is moving to the country. I have found out recently that I am not really as much of a country girl as I thought I was. This should be interesting.....

Laura

Offline blackbeltgirl

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2006, 04:24:48 PM »
Chelsea -

I had my 1st knee surgery at 17.  As frustrating and scary as the knee and surgery seem, odds are, you'll be much happier with your knee afterwards.  You will be able to wear the cute shoe to go with the cute outift - once they figure out what's wrong with your knee and get it fixed.

As to the move - I'm sure it's hard.  I always had a bit of wanderlust - I wanted to see new places, exlore new cities, find out what was out there.  I don't know where you're moving to.  Is it a larger city?  Will you have more independence?  Think of the good things - will you go from sharing a bedroom to having your own room?  Will your parents let you paint the room any color you want?  Will your new school have a theater club, or photogrpahy club, or whatever you're interested in?  It won't be the same, but that doesn't mean it won't be good.  And you live in the age of e-mail and IM, so it will be easier to keep in touch with your friends than it used to be.  Start looking for the positive side of the situation.  Focus on the good - the weekend visits from your friends, the trips back to your hometown, enjoy the rest of this school year, and consider this your next big adventure.  I forget who said it, but one of my favorite quotes is "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all."  Make this an adventure - learn what you're capable of, find the parts that are fun and exciting....A year from now, you won't be sitting in your bedroom crying - you'll be hanging out with your friends.

Good luck-
Jess
ACI was supposed to be 2/21/06.  On 6/29/06 Insurance co said have another scope, and if it still looks good, they'll ok the ACI.
Microfracture Dec 7, 2004
   3cm x 6cm lesion, LFC; 3cm x 1cm lesion, trochlear groove; lateral tibial plateau lesion
2nd degree black belt, tae kwon do (had to stop)

Offline WantToKick

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2006, 07:51:57 PM »
Chelsea:
I was 14 when i had my first knee surgery, too.  I was terrified of what the doctor would find... thinking that maybe they couldn't fix it, or maybe i'd be stuck on crutches for months... the worst fear was that they'd say "nothing is wrong, you're just a wimp" - I couldn't have handled that.  When I woke up, i had a cast from the top of my thigh to my ankle, and i thought for sure something horrible had happened... as it turned out the cast was to be on for only a week, then back into a little sleeve... they found some torn cartilage on my knee cap, which they smoothed out, and removed a HUGE plica... my MCL was torn, too, but they didn't do anything as repairs to that often fail, and she didn't want me to start a downward spiral so young... so it was a little disappointing to find out that they didn't fix everything... but things were a LOT better afterwards, even so.  Anyway, the whole point here... about being nervous for surgery and the MRI... you will be okay.  And even though it's hard to picture, in two years, you'll be driving with your friends, and will not be thinking about this anymore.  You probably won't remember how much it hurts, either...  As far as moving - it does stink, a lot.  I grew up with my dad here in wisconsin, and my mom in minnesota, about 3.5 hours away... half my life was here, the other half there.  So I know what it is to look at all your friends and wonder how on EARTH you're ever going to make new ones, and how you can live without seeing the ones you have every day... I was very very shy, too, active in church and lots of things at school... I was amazed, though... I found new friends, and it wasn't as hard as i thought.  I would guess that when you move, you'll keep in touch with your old friends a lot... you've got a computer to use, and they prob'ly do too... it's not as good as face to face, but it works.  They'll be there to help you get through the toughest time, right after you get there... you could do what one of my friends did when she moved... she came back and stayed with one of us for all the dances and major school events... helped her and us a lot...

Keep your chin up, and remember this:  The wonderful you that people like in your hometown, the you that people want to be around and know, will still be the wonderful you in a new town.  You won't be lonely for too long...

And when all else fails... there's always us knee geeks to keep you going...
1998 - dog vs. human accident, torn MCL, subluxed patella
1999 - plica removal, chondroplasty. 
2002 - skating accident, subluxed patella, torn LCL, bone bruising
2005 - skiing accident, torn MCL, torn meniscus, stretched acl, torn medial capsule
2007 - plica removal, synovectomy

Offline Clarinet'09

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2006, 09:56:11 PM »
Thank You so much everyone!!! I think ive already made new friends right here on this chatsite!!!  My mom is allowing my best friend to come visit for a couple of weeks in the summer so thatll make it easier. Im moving from a house out in the middle of the woods to a house in a huge city which will be a big change. The thing that im worried about most is the fact that theyre talking about scheduling my surgery at the end of may and were moving at the beginning of june!!! If i dont have the surgery before we move then i wont have time to heal before marching band starts up but we cant delay the move longer than we already have. I realy dont look forward to having to move right after surgery but i guess ill have to!!!
                      ~Chelsea~
Chelsea - 17 years old - soccer + band = LIFE
4/29/06  left knee popped followed by intense pain while playing soccer
5/30/06  Bone spur removal
4/20/07  LR right knee
11/19/07 LR left knee
1/16/08  MUA left knee
11/03/08 LR recon, MPFL recon right knee
4/20/09 LR recon, MPFL recon left knee

Offline doublea21

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2006, 12:25:31 AM »
Chelsea,

I know that you are worried.  Hopefully they will be able to help you so that you can go back to being a normal teenager.  That is great that one of your friends will be able to come and visit you once you move, it should help with the transition.  I was in a similar situation to you, I had my first surgery when I was 14 and then my family moved 4 months later.  Not quite as soon as you but it was still difficult.  I moved far away and so it was difficult for my friends to come and visit since their parents didn't always want them to fly by themselves.  Hope everything works out, and I sure that you will adjust to your new surrounding before long.

Amy
Dec 98 - R and L knee LR and VMO advancement
Dec 00 - L knee TTT
May 02 - R knee TTT and VMO advancement
Dec 04 - R knee screw removal
still too many subluxations and dislocations
July 06 - R knee MPFL Reconstruction

Offline blackbeltgirl

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2006, 02:14:39 AM »
Chelsea -

Look at it this way - surgery a month before you move means you won't have to carry a million boxes, run up and down the stairs in the house when your mom can't find something, etc.  It will get you out of some of the more frustrting parts of moving.  And since you'll be ready by the time marching band starts, you're set.  Most schools still do some sort of "band camp", so you'll meet people at your new school before classes start, and won't show up on the 1st day of school not knowing anyone.

What city are you moving to?  Personally, I'm a city girl.  One of the benefits of city life for folks your age is more independence.  If it's a large enough city with good public transit, you won't have to wait for a parent to give you a ride to your friends' houses, to the mall, etc.  Being able to walk, take the bus, take the subway opens up whole new worlds, that you just don't get in the suburbs and rural areas until you have your own car.

Good luck with everything-
Jess
ACI was supposed to be 2/21/06.  On 6/29/06 Insurance co said have another scope, and if it still looks good, they'll ok the ACI.
Microfracture Dec 7, 2004
   3cm x 6cm lesion, LFC; 3cm x 1cm lesion, trochlear groove; lateral tibial plateau lesion
2nd degree black belt, tae kwon do (had to stop)

knee deep in Goo

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2006, 02:50:07 AM »
You know the girls at work are wearing flip flops more and more ..   However I can certainly understand the frustration of not being able to wear a heel.   You know its ok to cry and eat chocolate during knee crappy moments.  Its normal to have all these feelings.   Moving to a new home ... knee problems.. are a double whammie.  Ya know .. I will tell you . I often did/do  the same thing. . After I held myself a pity party crying in my room and than came to this site and just typed anything.. and well sometimes read the other posts and just tried to take a deep breath.. so this is the crappiest time .. but at least I found a group of people who understand .. what knee pain is..  heck you are at an age where you can take all this learning and become a doctor or a nurse or anything you want to be.. No stinking knee can stop you..  ..

sometimes i set a small goal for myself for the day.. and i feel good when i accomplish it.

Offline Clarinet'09

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2006, 03:45:44 AM »
I didnt think about that they will all be waiting on me hand and foot AND they will be unloading. HAHAHAHa now is the time to pay my sisters back for all of the crap they give me everyday!!! There is a band camp too which is a plus!!! Im moving to Fort Wayne, Indiana... Its so big it has five districts!!! I do have many of those crappy knee moments and i sure am putting on the pounds as a result of eating junk food when im depressed (everyday) and not being able to exercise!!! Let me tell you this site is raising my hopes and you of you wonderul people are to thank for it!!! Before my knee got this bad i had my job already picked out. I wanted to be a band director at Columbia Central (the school that im leaving behind). I was already looking into schools of music and had picked my major and some of the courses i wanted to do!!! Then I fell in to depression and i started to think what good would it do me if i cant even stand up on the podium long enough to direct a song!!! But ive found hope in this site!!! THANK YOU KNEE GEEKS!!!
Chelsea - 17 years old - soccer + band = LIFE
4/29/06  left knee popped followed by intense pain while playing soccer
5/30/06  Bone spur removal
4/20/07  LR right knee
11/19/07 LR left knee
1/16/08  MUA left knee
11/03/08 LR recon, MPFL recon right knee
4/20/09 LR recon, MPFL recon left knee

Offline momof2

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #11 on: April 19, 2006, 07:10:19 AM »
I had my first knee surgery at the age of 14 and my second at 15.  I had menisectomy done both times because my knee would lock straight and not bend.  I remember that when I went for my first MRI I became hysterical because the lady before me came out saying she felt like she was on pins and needles.  I immediately thought she meant they were going to poke me with pins and needles.  I was so scared I didn't want to go in.  Then when I finally did go and realized all I had to do was lay there I felt really silly.  Then when I went for surgery they told me it was a scope with three holes.  When I laid in the operating room I saw the lights that had three poles on them and was petrified that was going in my leg.  Obviously it wasn't.  To make a long story short the unknown is very scary.  Remember to take the whole thing in baby steps.  I had both of my surgeries and was back to drill team within a couple of months after each one.  It is much easier to heal when you are young.  Nowadays some surgeons will allow you to start walking right away.  My cousin had his knees done and walked out of the surgery center.  Try to relax and go one day at a time.  Keep your chin up it seems like forever but it will be over soon.
3/10/06-ACL reconstruction with allograft,partial medial menisectomy,chondroplasty, extensive 3 compartment synovectomy/debridement,resection of hypertrophic synovial plica-right knee
9/15/06-partial medial menisectomy,chondroplasty, extensive 3 compart. synovectomy/debridement of the left knee

Offline Linds

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2006, 02:36:19 PM »
Hi Chelsea, i'm sorry that you are struggling so much with your knees. I know what you are going through. My knee problems started when I was about 8 years old.  I am now 25... i've had a few surgeries the first one when I was 17. I know what you are going through.  It isn't any fun not being able to be a normal kid. :'( Sometimes it feels like you are the ocean being pulled out to sea and sometimes you can't even see the shore. The good news is... you are getting some help.
It's okay to be a little scared about the scope, but make sure you ask all the questions you have before the surgery. 

Keep your chin up... things will get better, and atleast you are heading in the right direction.

Hugs and lots of luck

Linds
1997 Scope RK
2002 LR RK
2002 Scope and hematoma evac RK
2004 LR LK
May 06 Fall from Horse, partial ACL tear and meniscus injury, Tibial plateau injury
2007 Scope, Plica Excision and Debride LK
2009/2010- Possibly Ankylosing Spondylitis?

Offline Clarinet'09

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #13 on: April 19, 2006, 10:18:29 PM »
Thanks guys I really appreciate your encouragement and ill keep you updated as to my upcoming knee appointment on the 26th!!!
           ~Chelsea~
Chelsea - 17 years old - soccer + band = LIFE
4/29/06  left knee popped followed by intense pain while playing soccer
5/30/06  Bone spur removal
4/20/07  LR right knee
11/19/07 LR left knee
1/16/08  MUA left knee
11/03/08 LR recon, MPFL recon right knee
4/20/09 LR recon, MPFL recon left knee

Offline Clarinet'09

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Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
« Reply #14 on: April 20, 2006, 12:20:09 AM »
Sorry for being all dramatic on the last couple of posts. All of you ladies should understand im sure it didnt help that i was on my period. Sorry guys for that peice of reality but it happens!!! ;D
               ~Chelsea~
Chelsea - 17 years old - soccer + band = LIFE
4/29/06  left knee popped followed by intense pain while playing soccer
5/30/06  Bone spur removal
4/20/07  LR right knee
11/19/07 LR left knee
1/16/08  MUA left knee
11/03/08 LR recon, MPFL recon right knee
4/20/09 LR recon, MPFL recon left knee















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