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Author Topic: Hello, New and depressed.  (Read 2240 times)

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Offline Jennan

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Hello, New and depressed.
« on: April 03, 2006, 09:55:33 PM »
I've injured my knee, and i'm waiting to get a MRI scan and i'm on crutches. I am on 13+ painkillers a day. I don't know whats wrong with me. Its hard for me to get around uni, be active, just live. I am in tears right now, in the library. I've already had a tib and fib fracture when i was nine, i had a skin graft and my muscle moved down, on my left leg, i was in hosptial for 6 months and had a metal frame. I'm already not normal, this is the icing on the cake. I had started to become active and i'd lost weight, now reading how much it will take to get better , i don't know what to do. I still have problems from my fracture 9 years ago, but i'd learnt to live with it. I can't do it again.I'm all alone at uni, i'm not doing well at school, i had to quit my job because of it ( i have financial worries)my mobility is so restricted its unbelieveable, i can't go out of the house for days if i walk for too long.I don't even know if this is temporary. How did you cope?

Offline Julia C.

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2006, 10:12:32 PM »
Hi Jennan,
I am sorry that you are feeling so low at the moment, but you have a lot to cope with and being on your own doesn't help.
How did you injure your knee?
Waiting for the results of a scan can be one of the worst times, it was for me anyway. I spent ages wondering what might be wrong and imagining the worst case scenario. How long before you gt the results, do you know?
Is there any possibility of you suspending your studies for a while? Do you have a family home you can go to, or similar, whilst you get your knee sorted out? Being with people that know you and care for you would go a long way to helping you feel better.
Give yourself as much TLC as you can, post here, it can be very supportive and let us know how you're doing.
Wishing you well
Julia
Sept 2005 - Benign tumour removed from right knee, diagnosed as localised pigmented villonodular synovitis.

Offline Jennan

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2006, 10:18:48 PM »
Thank you so much Julia. I am waiting to GET an MRI scan!Thats the NHS for ya!lol! Uni is over in 3 months and i really don't want to start again ( i'm in my 2nd year) I will talk to my tutor after easter. I might go home next week. But my doctor is here in manchester, i'm originally from London (UK) I'm just having a crybaby moment, but i will def go to my new doctors ( i had to switch) tomorrow.  I'm so glad i found this site, my friends don't really understand and i don't like to be a burden

Offline Julia C.

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2006, 10:28:22 PM »
Yep, I know those crybaby moments only too well! Sorry I miss read about your MRI, that you are still waiting for the scan. Fingers crossed you won't have to wait too long. I was lucky - got mine done within 2 weeks, on the NHS. Don't hesitate to chase them up if too much time goes by.
I work at a University - you may be able to apply for financial help from the "Access to Learning Fund", they would proabaly view your case favourably as you can't work at the moment, but you perhaps know about this already.
Julia
Sept 2005 - Benign tumour removed from right knee, diagnosed as localised pigmented villonodular synovitis.

Offline Lovinn

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2006, 12:47:42 PM »
Hi! How are you doing today? I saw your post and just thought I'd say hello. I hurt my knee too but I'm almost better--just here to ask some quesions as  to some of the funny things it's doing.  ::)
If you're bored and would like to chat feel free to IM me at yahoo--lovinncupp! I know how hard this can be due to my minor experience and in helping 3 friends with knee surgeries. I hope you're feeling better today!

Best wishes~Lovinn

Offline sarah81

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2006, 03:38:19 PM »
Jennan,


Julia is right, there should definitely be finiancial help available to you  - I used to work in the University of Leciester student services.
I also studied at Leicester Uni, and got RSI in one of my wrists (a sort of result of an earlier break) and I couldn't type anymore, so they paid one of my friends to type out my essays and dissertation for me. This funding came under disability funding, even though I didn't consider myself disabled. All students in the UK are entitled to it - it comes from the government. Go and speak to someone at uni - there may be a welfare officer, finance adviser, disability adviser - any of these people would be able to help. This may mean you get money for transport, special equipment and they will be able to advise on all sorts of other things - for example someone to help you with shopping etc

Uni is a stressful time, and illness and injury can make it so much more difficult, especially as you are away from home, but although it is not always advertised that well, there really is a lot of help available that you are entitled to!

What uni are you studying at?

Sarah x

Offline celinenj03

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2006, 05:02:30 PM »
Your in my prayers I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there. I've been there myself. Hard for me too cause I have 2 little children and I really can't afford to sit around and cry although I'd like to! Like everyone else here will tell you and I know it's hard to believe right now, but it does get better eventually. We're here for you.
Terrible Triad - 1/16/06 - Basketball
3/15/06 - Scope/Cleanout of to achieve full ROM
5/3/06 - Surgery-ACL Reconstruction-Allograft
9/12/07 - Large Loose body removed;Grade 4 Lesion on LFC
9/17/08-Microfracture, Lateral Release (all right knee)

Offline ElleCarumba

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #7 on: April 04, 2006, 06:44:21 PM »
I am also at uni and on crutches! I had surgery about 9 weeks ago and prob have at least another 3 to go! :(

It is a bit miserable being at uni but not able to do all the things you should be doing!
My uni moved all my classes to accessible classrooms and organised for a librarian to assist me when I visited the library- have you asked for all this practical help?

If you are in serious hardship, there is usually an emergency hardship fund which can pay out quickly- disability related funds take a bit longer to get sorted. I had to quite my tow part time jobs when I had my op but I was lucky and my extended family put together a fund to cover taxi costs and so on. I have no social life now so at least I save money there!

Have you spoken to your personal tutor or other member of academic staff so they know that you are struggling and will take that into account with your marks and so on?
You should be able to speak with the welfare officer (often the vice pres) at your student union who will help you access all the help you are elgible for.

I am lucky and have great friends and housemates who do my shopping for me and make sure they plan some stuff I can do too, like the cinema but it is depressing when everybody disappears for a night clubbing or something and I am left in my flat all alone! And then everyone chatting about the gossip the next morning makes me feel a bit left out. Try not to dwell on it- life sucks sometimes! I usually try and get a whole load of work done on those nights so when everyone else is around, I have time free to be sociable.

Try and get through to the summer and then reassess where you stand- if you need to take a year out etc. It is much easier to do that when you have fully completed a year rather than only part completed it.

Good luck!

Offline celinenj03

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #8 on: April 04, 2006, 06:50:02 PM »
Wow, what a perfect way to put it, "Life Sucks Sometimes". Sooooo true!!!!
Terrible Triad - 1/16/06 - Basketball
3/15/06 - Scope/Cleanout of to achieve full ROM
5/3/06 - Surgery-ACL Reconstruction-Allograft
9/12/07 - Large Loose body removed;Grade 4 Lesion on LFC
9/17/08-Microfracture, Lateral Release (all right knee)

Offline Jennan

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2006, 09:08:52 PM »
Julia, celinenjo3, sarah81, Lovinn, ElleCarumaba- thank you all for your kind words, you really don't know what they mean to me.
I'm at the university of manchester, sarah and elle,  and i will talk to the student services/welfare officers as soon as easter ends. I really need some help. Yes Elle  i have no social life at all! I went to my new doctor today and she gave me a number to ring after 5 days, so fingers crossed i'll have an appointment ( apparently my knee sounds crunchy???!)celinenjo3- it must be so hard coping with two children, i wouldn't be able to do it myself- i comend you seriously.

Oh thank you all, you've really made me feel happier ( i know i sound even more like a baby! ; ;D- skips away on cloud nine- well hobbles away)

Offline sarah81

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #10 on: April 05, 2006, 09:18:41 AM »
Hi Jennan,

I have emailed the welfare officer at the uni of leicester who i used to work with to see if she knows the right contact name at manchester uni. All staff work throughout the Easter holidays (except easter itsef) so if you are around campus, you wouldn't have to wait until term starts to see someone.

Anyway, I'll let you know if I hear back with a contact name.

Take care
Sarah

Offline Doc79316

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #11 on: April 05, 2006, 09:33:46 AM »
Hi Jennan,

I've just read your post. Sorry I didn't respond earlier.. We all understand how isolated you can feel when you have a knee problem, particularly if you're on your own at uni miles from home. I was lucky, I live in Birmingham and went to Warwick Uni so could return home anytime.
Feel free to vent anytime. YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN and we all have down days at times. But that means that things can only look up. Sarah is going to try to get some help for you. We are all here for you and you should post anytime you want to.

Take care,

Laura x
Left knee surgery
08/06/02 - L/Release
13/08/03 - Fulkerson TTT
05/06/05 - Stabilisation & Medialisation/Tendon Transfer
13/01/06 - Proximal Hamstring Superior Stabilisation
06/03/06 - RSD/CRPS diagnosed
20/07/06 + 03/04/07- Excision of scar tissue
30/07/07 - PKR suggested by OS (no date yet)

Offline sarah81

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #12 on: April 05, 2006, 11:16:40 AM »
Hi Jennan,

Ok, she doesn't know a name of a person, but says it is the Access to Learning Fund form you will need to fill out.

This page gives some contact details for student support people who will be able to help, you can also follow links to download the Access to Learning Fund form yourself.

http://www.campus.manchester.ac.uk/ssc/contactus/

When you speak to someone about this, they should also be able to point you in the right direction of where to go for practial help also.
And don't forget to talk to your tutors, as if this is affecting your work they need to know why so they can give you a break!

Let us know how you get on!
Good luck :)

Sarah

knee deep in Goo

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #13 on: April 05, 2006, 11:24:44 PM »
Hi - I just read this thread today and felt really touched by everyone's caring on this site. It is so true that you get to be a crybaby and dont want to have people around you view you as weak or a cry baby.  I hopefully will get back to work two days a week starting this tuesday and the rest of the week from home..  I kept telling my boss It is going to be overwhelming maybe for me the first day.  So she decided to hold a breakfast for my return with about 50 or so of my closest co workers.  So sweet of her..

But getting back to this site. I always looked to other peoples stories to see how I was comparing to other recovery times.  I will be three months on Tuesday.. from Chrondroplasty -- and at times I kept reading and rereading that at three months people had been still sore..  I have experienced alot of personal growth in patience and faith that each week I will get stronger..  ( Just those rainy day set backs kill me== When everything hurts worse than normal and feels like a step back)

Faith --- I hear some bones clicking == But not in much pain. anymore..  Acceptance that I may need shots in my knee in the future but formed a trust with my OS that he won't let me linger in pain .. and has my best interest at heart. ( Pre surgery -- I had placed an emergency call to him that I was in so much pain around six pm on a friday and he called me back in 10 minutes. )  After the operation in the post op room he had been calling in his Surgery notes on the phone and found time to wave at me while I had been told to cough cough cough by the nurses in there. )   Two months after the operation -- He remembered I had a long walk from this huge corporate parking lot.. )

Maybe its a bunch of little things I appreciate in life.. Like my aqua therapist a guy helping me with my towel hoodie coat on ..  and well being able to vent to him also.. and when I didnt do my excercises as I should he noticed .. and when it was hard.. and I gave him the bird.. he laugh.. and pretend to step on my fingers  ( all in fun) ..  Also the fact that he bought watermelon shower gel for the  patients changing rooms in the shower area.

Right now I feel strong enough to be attempting work and back to driving around..  I know my limits.. I cant really go food shopping yet.. and going to the drug store proved to be a fast painful trip.. but I try ....Right now I am on the cusp of deciding if I should bring my cane the first day back to work or will my crutches better suit me since I am not fully weight baring yet.   Yes I said to my boss.. I turned into a big baby.. I also have a new found love of ice.. ..   

Offline Jennan

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Re: Hello, New and depressed.
« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2006, 04:51:31 PM »
ahh you guys are the sweetest thing!  Thanks guys i took your advice and I saw the disabilities officer at uni and i have to go see them on the 25th again with medical eveidence and they're helping me with my work and stuff. I finally have a hospital appointment on Friday!!! Yay! So I will finally get to know whats wrong with me. My kness started clicking though ( is that a bad sign) it wasn't doing that before. The painkillers aren't working so i'm generally on my bum allday!