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Author Topic: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but won't  (Read 3744 times)

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Offline Jennifer

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Questions you would like to ask your OS, but won't
« on: July 22, 2002, 08:17:35 AM »
For those of you have accused me of being Pollyanna-ish with the gratitude journal  >:(  I have a topic for you  :o  :o  :o  :o  Caution to those who like my Pollyanna-ish side...

I have had a OS (I like my current OS..although I did name a bone spur after him in my ilio-femural region) that I didn't like...and I rest more easily now that he is out of state, because now I know I won't freakishly meet up with him in the ER  :o  :o  :o  :o  I developed this list of questions to ask him just before I decided to be a grown-up...it is kind of like the fleeting thought about getting a voodoo doll and then realizing that it would be tough to get the personal item to make the sucker work (although the trip and grab at hair could work...LOL)  Anyways here are my questions...

"Do you think I require a good malpractice attorney?????"  "Could you give me the names of some other 'successes' so we can just go ahead with a class action suit ????"

"Did your 95% success rate take into account the virtual surgeries and the rodent attempts ??????"

"Have you ever referred a patient to another doctor ?????"  "In orthopaedics ????"  "To the morgue ????"

"Did you have a lot of trouble doctoring your medical license ?????  Degree ?????"

"Do you get Ortho Today, journal of Bone and Joint Surgery in print form or on tape ??????"

"Did you play 'Operation' as a child ?????  Did you ever win ?????"

"Do you feel your patients just don't understand you ?????"

"Is your handwriting so bad because you hope the pharmacist will figure out a better drug and fill it ????"

I feel so much better : o )

See if you can add some......

11/98 LR+chondro(L);Maquets T3 5/99(L),5/00(R);8/00 bilat hdwr removal;7/01 chondro+therm shrink(L)10/01-therm shrink(R);2/02, LR +chondro+menis repair(R);7/01 access navic excis (L) foot;11/02, bilat Baker's Cyst Asp;12/03 Roux-type T3 +meniscus trim(R),12/04 Roux-type T3(L) :o :o :o

Iona_-Uk

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2002, 02:34:42 PM »
I like my o/s, I don't think I would ever ask questions like that to him but maybe to my last o/s- he looked like dracula!.

"When you said you were the top o/s in this hospital how bad are they other surgeons then?

"OK, you look like dracula but I didn't realise you WERE dracula"

"Were you a butcher in your student days?"

"Do you actually know what is wrong with my knees are yor hazarding a guess due to some divine miracle that no-one else understands"

"Why send me for x-rays when you know it is soft tissue problems, do you like the thought of me getting radiated!?"

I could mention more but they are a bit naughty!

Iona

Offline Grace

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2002, 04:02:08 AM »
Come up with some for PT's!!  I love my OS...he is a nice guy and hasn't really steered me all that wrong so far.....But my PT is a baffling idiot who doesn't listen and really does a bad job!  Anyone have one of those?  

the os ?'s made me laugh and almost roll out of the computer chair!!  THanks fo rthe laugh       -grace-
8 months of continuous physical therapy
plica excision/ shaving 6-10-02
5 months of agressive physical therapy
modified Fulkerson and lateral release 5-13-03
currently in limbo

Offline Danielle

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2002, 04:08:09 AM »
When you push my knee 40 degrees past my current ROM did you not expect me to tell you to go to hell?   (I actually did say go to hell when my OS did this:(oops!)

When you say my knee will be better than new can I test you on that by kicking you in the balls??

Did you watch Silence Of The Lambs too many times or is this obsession with torturing people something you came up with on your own??



lol I love these topics cuz they make me forget about my knee problems!!

~*~Danielle~*~
I had a modified Trillat TTT and LR done on 6/26/02
Original injury in October of 1998 due to a horseback riding accident

Offline khaoskat

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2002, 05:02:13 AM »
I have a good one!!!!


1.  So, are you basing your opinion of my knee on your own exam, or the one that your intern did?
  (After your OS's intern spends 5 times longer examining your knee than the OS)

2.  You don't think Ice Skating is hard on your knees, as other sports...here, let me put you on these razor thin edges and you go out and try to do what I do, or even better what Michelle Kwan or Tim Goeble does.


3.  Did you find your bedside manor in a box of crackerjacks?


4.  Does your attitude always suck this bad, or did someone pee in your coffee this morning.


Ok, this all refer to my first OS.


For my second on, I did ask him this question, after I was running 20 minutes late to my appointment, and just got there in the nick of time before he finished his last patient.

1. How would you like to have a normal business day, and no staff around to help you get things done.
    - His response.... I might actually like that
    - Response of roaming staff/scheduler in the hall to his comment  ..... Hey, Hey, Hey, Careful there, I heard that.


I really like my second OS.  He has a good sense of humor, and a really good bedside manor.

Khaoskat

Offline Grace

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2002, 05:19:49 AM »
Here are a few good ones -- could apply to OS or PT:

1)  where'd you get your liscense to practice...a frosted flakes box?

2)  when you say you are board certified, you do understand that it doesn't mean you've been hit with a board, right?

3) that record of yours....successful surgeries/treatments....how does it compare to the unsuccessful??  

4) If i stop offering ideas as to what the problem could be, will you stop getting good ideas about what the problem could be?

5) I've seen the way you examine my chart really carefully and then take several good looks at that anatomy chart on the wall.....do you have a memory problem?  you do know where my knee is, right?

and for my physical therapist.....i would liket o walk inot the gym with a bull horn and address him as "hey you butthead in the white coat".....or Jolly Green Giant.... "can you hear what i am saying now?  i am aware that in the past you have not been able to listen to me...what with your head so far up your behind, looking at your ego.......but i figure now is as good a time as any to address the fact that you have helped me in no way.  As a patient  i have never been ignored in such a way and its apalling and really takes away from that 'professional' look you are trying to harbor with that pressed shirt, tie, shoes with buckles and pointy toes (can we say horrid??), and that white coat"

i really hate my PT and i have to go through hell and hi water to get a new one!!  wishing this was all over...
                                                                  -grace-
8 months of continuous physical therapy
plica excision/ shaving 6-10-02
5 months of agressive physical therapy
modified Fulkerson and lateral release 5-13-03
currently in limbo

Offline rhea

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2002, 06:03:45 AM »
You guys are geniuses!!  Just when Im feeling so down in the dumps  :'( I find this post and nearly bust my spleen laughing ;D  

Okay, these all apply to my GP and my first 3 OSs.

I quote this one from my Opa (picture this being said with a gruff german accent)

"Do you have a screw loose in your brain!!!?!!"

"If I twisted your knee really bad and made it hurt a lot, didn't give you ANY pain meds, told you that you're probably not in any pain and that if you are it'll go away on its own, and made you wait 50 mins to see me in a smelly tiny waiting room dreading about what kind of verbal assualt you'd be faced with....would you still like me?"

"You said that if I were you're daughter you wouldn't want an OS to do an arthroscopy to find out whats wrong b/c it'd probably go away anyways, despite going into the 6th year of miserable pain... If I were your daughter you would be so sick of hearing me bitch about it, driving me to  PT appts, GP appts, Naturopath appts, buying braces, renewing prescriptions, and putting up with hearing my crutches and cane "clomp" my body throughout the house you'd have me in the OR with an arthroscope in my knee before your bitchy secretary could say "next"!"

Thanks for that guys!  Really funny!!  Great for venting!

rhea  

7 yrs of knee troubles (maltracking, maybe plica).  
Finally found wonderful OS(#4)!
Diagnostic scope+biopsy schduled for sept 23,2003  
HMS/EDS III
Chronic joint pain,subluxations,microtraumas...

Offline Jennifer

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2002, 09:59:21 AM »
Hmmmmmmmmm...questions for the PT...

*You do realize that is connected to the other bones ?
*Did you get your degree from a university or a terrorist training camp ?
*Do you really go to sadist retreats to learn this stuff?
*Do you know Attila the Hun on a first name basis ?
*How would you like me to attach that electrod to a place of my choosing ?
*How would you like some OJT on what it feels like to have my injury ?
*Do you get bonus points for breaking the patients ?  Do you get kick backs from the OSs when you create new things for them to work on ?
*Do you give us ridiculous tasks just to amuse yourself ?
*Why do you leave me in the hands of a PTA who goads me to do more and then you lecture me for doing it ?

My PT is actually usually pretty good to me...but he does know just where to squeeze my knee to get me to smack him (He has a conditioned response now to get out of the way... )


 
11/98 LR+chondro(L);Maquets T3 5/99(L),5/00(R);8/00 bilat hdwr removal;7/01 chondro+therm shrink(L)10/01-therm shrink(R);2/02, LR +chondro+menis repair(R);7/01 access navic excis (L) foot;11/02, bilat Baker's Cyst Asp;12/03 Roux-type T3 +meniscus trim(R),12/04 Roux-type T3(L) :o :o :o

Offline khaoskat

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2002, 06:58:11 PM »
I actually like my new PT place, also the place associated with my OS is not bad either.

Kathy keeps calling my baby by her name.  She thinks I should name it Kathy.

I could have gotten away with murder...she kept thinking I was done sooner than I was with each exercise....too bad I am such an honest person. :o ;D

Khaoskat

Offline Shazinoz

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2003, 02:51:43 PM »
LOL Khaoskat ,
when my sister in law was pregnant with there first they called the un born bub "em" for embryo, little did we know she would be an "em" for life, they named her Emily after she was born ;D.
AS to everyone else THANK YOU for giving me such a great laugh, I will try to add to it tomorrow, as it is getting late now and I need to sleep if I can EVER going ot get these sleep patterns back to normal.
Sharon
2 ACL 'reco's', 3 'scopes', Pain, JRA, EDS, RSD, CMP, osetochondral defect & #, synovitis, adhesions, nerve damage, foot drop, MCL damage, tendonitis, fibrosis, ligament damage AGAIN, dislocations +++

Offline Netty

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2003, 06:43:37 PM »
I thought my 2nd OS was such a spunk I couldnt wait to go see him for check ups. I even let him do my 3rd surgery (his 2nd attempt) and it failed as well. As good looking as he was though I had to go get a 3rd OS who hopefully knew what he was doing.
I got some great photos of my operation and 1 question I would like to ask is, why did the assistant have a big smile on his face while he had my legs up in the air with my lovely paper see through panites on?? LOL  Netty
Broke the cruciate and damaged the medial and lateral ligs playing softball.Hammy ACl recon Feb 2000(failed).Hammy ACL recon Aug 01(failed).Medial repair and Lateral loop Dec 01(failed).Still unstable

Offline Emily

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2003, 12:42:18 AM »
HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA ;D!! I dont have anything toadd I just wanted to thank you all for posting all these, I feel MUCH better after laughing for a while!!

Emily
Right Knee- 10-14-03- LR, TTO, Scope, Plica excision
               4-20-04- Scope, screw removal, scar tissue clean up

Left knee- subluxing, maltracking & malaligned-not ready to start treatmet..

Offline tazmanian_devil

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #12 on: March 13, 2003, 01:36:19 AM »
Netty you are so funny! Yoy are really in trouble if he was lying next to you smoking a cigarette, you didn't get any flowers without a card did you???
L ACL Recon. L lat. meniscus tear 1991, R Dislocated 1996, R ACL partial tear, MCL tear 08/01, R Chondroplasty 2/14/02, R Lateral Release-Medial Reefing-Chondroplasty 12/3/02.

Offline enuff81020

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2003, 02:39:26 AM »
Hi--I have never had to talk to my ortho or pt in that way, but I did have a gyne who got a fit from me...Right after HE said "This is going to be a bit uncomfortable."  My uninhibited response was "How in the h#ll do you know--did they tell you to say that in med school?"  (I also changed doctors...)

This was fun...thanks, Sylvia
Both kneesOA.
Scope on rt knee,9/00;2/01
scope w/ LR and debridement rt knee 2/02
left knee same5/02
Patellar problems
LeftTKR12/16/02
Right TKR7/14/03
Complications MUA 8/14/03
R TKR revisio

Offline eurofrenchie29

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Re: Questions you would like to ask your OS, but w
« Reply #14 on: March 31, 2003, 05:23:44 AM »
I actually blirted out loud something I should've kept quiet, but with my nerves being bad from awaiting the operation.  Just before I entered the room a nurse came out and confirmed my allergies. I told her Sulpha, Erythromycin, Zoloft, Ceftin and Spermicide.  Puzzled she looked at me and asked me why I mentioned that. I said "I don't know you asked" She then stated how on earth did I ever find out about that allergy.  I told her and she chuckled.  When she started to roll the table I was on she said "Hey guy's you have to hear this" So I told them and they all had a great chuckle.  As they were putting me to sleep I could hear one of the doctor's saying "I wonder what she thinks were going to do while she's asleep" I looked over to him and he was laughing.  The next day I was really embarrased because I could only guess what they were saying about me while I slept.
Osmond Clark Aggravation Test Positive/Gr lV patellar femoral change/Gr ll medial tibial change/Scope in 2002/Future knee replace/Chondromalacia/Cronic Pain/All thanks to falling on some ice.















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