Hurt shoulder because of crutches?! Really scared...:(

[ChrisAngel]

Chris, I asked because my shoulder pain was eliminated by switching to the kind of crutch you have from the under arm type.  Maybe check out this site which has a lot of different crutches, including ones with shock absorbers, orthopaedic grips for the sore-wristed (under accessories) and other nifty stuff.

http://www.fetterman-crutches.com/showcase.html

Thanks, I'll check that site. I don't know if in Finland it is possible to choose from such a variety of crutches, but I'll try find out. Cloudy day here today. We've had first snow, but it melted away. Next week we might get new snow again, we'll see. Thank you so much for all of you, once again! It just fills me with unbelievable gratitude everytime to see how all of you show your support in here. 

Today is a little worse day again. Pinching and burning pains in shoulders and elbows. One of the worst spots right under the collarbone. Feels impossible to find a resting position that doesn't hurt. Let's see if some candy makes me feel better...

Good luck for DeeDee in her operation!! Keep us posted! 

[Nekomimi]

I hope you feel better soon.

My nerve has actually been acting up again these past 2 days, right under my collarbone and through the top of my hand. I've been working too much on my computer, and I think I've re-irritated it. ^^;

*hugs*

[DeeDee]

Thanks Chris, I will let you all know how I get on.

I hope you are enjoying your week's holiday and you are putting up your feet up at home, with as you say some good movies, I think that is what I might do, sounds like fun.

Take care hugs,

Dee x

[ChrisAngel]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear your problem is re-occurring as well, Nekomimi  Hope it will pass quickly. For DeeDee I wish a relaxing time before the operation!

My shoulder has now been aching for two weeks...so far no improvement. Afraid of what I'm gonna do next week, when I should return to work...but I'll give it a couple of days still to see how it goes..Haven't told my boss about this yet

Currently watching Conan O'Brien (it's about 11:25pm in here). The program airs here with only a 2-3 day delay. My homeland, Finland, has been mentioned in Conan in a few episodes lately - yay! Conan claims he looks just like the president of Finland, Tarja Halonen There is a certain look-alike factor...

I can tell, that us Finns are planning on looking for people who look like Conan...and then send him photos of us! Hehe...I can just imagine what he might do, when receiving a ton of photos of people who look a bit like he himself...he he he *giggle*

He has now even been invited to visit our beutiful Finland with all the reindeers (in Lapland only, though!) and snow.. Gotta see how it turns out.

Fun link about the subject:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/hfb/52631912/

All of you, take care and thanks for being there! Let us keep posted 

Chris
*~

[DeeDee]

Chris

I had a look at the link and saw the photo and I see what you mean, I think they were separated at birth!

You are very lucky to have snow, here in the UK we just have lots of rain and it's cold, myself and my son would rather have some snow, as he hasn't really seen much snow, as its cold here but not cold enough for snow.

Sorry you are in pain, I hope you get some relief soon.

Hugs

Dee x

[sparkle999]

HI Chris
just thought i'd throw in my support too. Do you have both types of crutches??? Some go under the armpit and some stop at the elbow. Perhaps you could alternate btween crutches and perhaps a walker too. Or...and this may not be possible in your case, could you walk using a splint? You have no doubt explored all these but i just thought i'd ask. For what it's worth i got very sore elbows and shoulders when i the middle of a 2 month stint on crutches. It was nothing sinister and did go away, though i cried with the pain of that and not my knee at times. I know what you mean tho, the thought of something ELSE going wrong is horrendous. Really knocks you for six. Keep resting, taking the meds, and let us know how you're doing
xx

[ChrisAngel]

Hey Sparkle, thank you so much for your thoughts! In Finland we only have one type of crutch in use, the forearm crutches. They end just to your elbows. Here is a picture: http://image.wisdomking.com/images/pictures/0/101/photo_1.jpg

These past 2 weeks I've had to go without crutches and wobble around the best I can.

I didn't exactly understand what you meant by splint (english is not my mother tongue), but if it meant a full-lenght leg support thingy, I don't think that would be good either..

I once tried my granny's old cane. Cane does not work for me, does not offer enough support. A walker I couldn't use, since I live in 3rd floor with no elevator. That kind of thing would be just impossible for me to use in my surroundings, unfortunately. I couldn't get anywhere with it and at the moment I have no one to drive me. My dad used to, but he is now in recovery from his tumour operation in the summer - he got home from the hospital 2.5 weeks ago. He has now been driving short distances already when feeling good enough, but I still don't think I can ask him to drive me. His condition varies from day to day so much, there are times he barely gets up from bed. Granny's old cane got still good use, since dad now uses it when outside.

Thanks for your various suggestions! It warms my heart to see how people try to think different ways to help each other. Makes me humble with gratitude 

It really is stressing, when various things are bugging one at the same time. And no one seems to understand. I live at home currently still and sometimes find it incredibly hard to cope. My mom is of course fully taking care of dad now, so she has no nerves left for me. And it has been like that for some years now. I always have so many "weird things" (pains that cannot be seen with bare eye) going on, that she won't believe me anymore. Whether it has been back pains, ankle pains, wrist pains, head pains (I've had a mild concussion twice within the last year = bumped my head into a stone wall when sleeping -> blinding headache for 2 weeks), knee pains, back pains, ankle pains, back pains, knee pains...etc. The list is endless.

This shoulder-pain also just "popped" in from nowhere. I'm tired of trying to convince her that yes, it *HURTS*, cuz she won't believe me anymore so easily. There is just no use. And I don't think even *I* would believe me if I wasn't me.

It's like, knees I can handle at least somehow, because I've used to living with them. Yes, it is horrible, but at least I'm FAMILIAR with that pain. I know how operate the situation. But shoulders...I've never had problems with them before. It is completely new to me.

Hands were the last thing I should injure, since they prevent working pretty effectively. And right now work-absence is a big no-no. My boss is already so fed up with my continuous leg-problems (causing absence from work), that I haven't had the courage to tell him about this yet. I just hoped it would go away...but if the pain remains the same after this week, I have no options, but to try get sick leave. I'm afraid, very afraid of how that will go. This week I've been trying to relax, but still the issue is bugging me and making me nervous.

Ugh...too much typing at once. Must go rest now. Pain below collarbone now intolerable. The pinching sensation within the shoulders is SO painful.... Elbows are so sore too...I've been icing my shoulders already twice today. I try keep up a strict method of taking my vitamine with breakfast, and painkillers. Then painkiller with dinner (I just saw this document, where they said meds have a better effect when taken with food), then a mild muscle relaxant when going to sleep. That really is not very effective, but better than nothing. When going to sleep, I avoid lying on right side (right shoulder worse), but this morning I woke up sleeping on my right shoulder...OW! 

Avoiding the hurt shoulders causes the muscles in my neck, shoulders and arms get really painful as well. But since massage does NO good (tried that, and OUCH!) I just try relax them when I can.

I really hope I can get through this. One coping method is to keep up writing here. Maybe afterwards, one day when the pain is better, someone else can read this and see how long it took for someone to get the pain over with. Maybe it will help someone else some day then.

Thanks for being there! Today I think I'll treat myself by ordering a pizza....yum 

[sparkle999]

Chris...i SO know what you mean about this forum. It's the only place where people really understand. My family are quite bored of my injury now even though it's in the forefront of my mind all the time. I also know what you mean about knee pain. You do get used to having pain down there in the leg, but stomach, head and other pains are somehow harder to 'block out'. Hang in there, try to focus on what you CAN do and keep posting for support.
xx

[ChrisAngel]

Chris...i SO know what you mean about this forum. It's the only place where people really understand. My family are quite bored of my injury now even though it's in the forefront of my mind all the time. I also know what you mean about knee pain. You do get used to having pain down there in the leg, but stomach, head and other pains are somehow harder to 'block out'. Hang in there, try to focus on what you CAN do and keep posting for support.
xx

Bored. That is a good choice of words to describe how my family must be feeling about my pains. Thank you so much for your support, Sparkle! 

Agony...still stressing about monday. Should go to work, but now I know I won't make it. I must tell something about it to my boss (can send him a textmessage, as we often communicate). This week I've had time off work (fall break, holiday), but the time of rest has done nothing for the pains. Pains still as bad as they have been this whole time. But using both hands at work won't do good either. I'm gonna have to tell him something...

This might be unethical what I'm going to do, but no one will ever find out. I'm gonna tell him I had a little accident during my holiday (I just was at our cabin with my family) and hurt my shoulder. I could have lifted something heavy and...whopps. 

I'm sorry I have to fake something. But it might be the only way to make him believe I have pain. Because who would believe someone can pinch a nerve without doing much anything?! Not someone, how actually *IS* a doctor in his other profession! Yes. My boss has two professions, and I am his assistant in the other (NOT medical). But he is an ear surgeon (almost retired, but still sees patients like once or twice a week), so he is not an expert in the area my injuries belong in. He has the general knowledge over medical issues, as any GP, but it's not the same. It's been seen before, when I've had to take time off work because of leg-issues. He just doesn't understand. It's gotta be something big, that he'll believe me.

He'll never believe this just happened, even if that is the truth! How I see it, this seems a lot like back pain. One little movement wrong...and BOOM! It can strike almost out of nowhere. But how to explain it to someone who just....doesn't...get...it.

As I see it, it's all about having a doctor with whom you are on the same page. He doesn't have to be an expert, he's gotta be someone u can work your problems with, so that he can refer you forward to a specialist, if needed. And if my boss was my doctor, he would SOO not be the right one for me!! He's a wonderful ear doctor, I'm sure, but with my kinda injuries....we just don't click.

It took me years, but now I have a nice GP and PT, who I am on the same page with. Maybe the right OS for my knees will be found some day too. My PT has a couple of names in mind, but leg-issues have to wait, until this situation with hands is over.

Sorry to babble so much about this, but maybe now you can see why my boss has such big difficulties in understanding my never-ending pain issues...

It just helps to vent about things.

I'm gonna see my GP again monday morning and tell my boss then about the pinched nerve. It could have happened in any conditions...like with the situation I'm gonna tell him about.

Life is tricky...and when it's one's health in question, I see everything is allowed. Even little white lies.

Thanks for listening, once again. Everyone have a darn HAPPY HALOWEEN!!! 
Decorate ur crutches and keep the monsters away by making loud noises with them...ha ha haa!

Later edit: To make it clear: I'm not a person who prefers lying. I'd never do it in important matters, this is simply me being scared of losing my job and doing what needs to be done to protect it. I believe we've all been there some point at our lives..

[ChrisAngel]

Now it's done. Informed my boss today, that I've had a little accident where I hurt my shoulder. He was okay with it I guess (we sent txt messages, as we most often communicate while not at work). I actually was not lying, I just didn't tell the injury itself didn't happen in an accident situation. It COULD have happened, though.

I know most people must be thinking I'm a horrible person when I lie about this stuff, but this was an extreme emergency. With the leg issues, I have to live in the constant fear of them causing troubles for my work. Not getting to work because of them. And with my boss being so fed up with them already, I'm also living in constant fear of losing my job. Well, I cannot actually say he WOULD fire me, but the thought is still there. And losing the job is something I cannot afford. I need the job.

While hands are mainly the tools I work with, I've been almost hysterical of what might be the consequences if I this continues very long. Without hands I cannot work, as with them I do my work. My grammar is stupid right now, sorry  Just too much in my head right now...

With legs I could at least do work, that didn't require standing. Without hands I cannot do that either. Tomorrow morning I'm seeing my GP and gonna ask sick leave for work. My mom is driving me nuts at the moment...she just keeps on going how I've lived a normal life with my hands all this week (holiday) and cannot understand why and how I need to be off work now. For her, things that cannot be seen with bare eye, are not true. Knees are the only thing she believes anymore.

It might seem I've been living a normal life this week. And I have been trying, just not done anything too stressful for the hands and been resting them as much as I can. But in certain things you just need to use those hands, like getting dressed, eating, combing your hair, brushing your teeth...They all need to be done, but they DO hurt. She just cannot see the difference.

Computer I have been avoiding, watched a lot of TV instead. I haven't been using my computer for anything fun I usually like to do, like writing novels/poetry, doing graphics, manipulating images, composing music, updating my website, anything like that. All I HAVE done, is the necessary email-checking and every now and then the needed posting here (although typing hurts as hell).

She just cannot see any difference in that. Just because I don't yell "OW!" every time I pour milk in the kitchen (those cartons are HEAVY to lift when painful hands), does not mean I don't have pain.

The weirdest things cause pain, like putting on your jacket, milk-pouring, or just moving your hands. Shoulder is a tricky joint, since it moves the entire arm. I only need my hands to work, but moving the hands causes moving the shoulder and THAT is painful. So the entire thing causes pain. Typing, moving stuff....at its worse, anything done with the hands.

She says I'm just "making up" this shoulder pain...AARRGGHHH!!!! *sheding tears of anger* I'm sick of all these "invisible" pains that no one believes or takes seriously!! It's no use to try talking to her, since she would not listen. I know she has her hands full with taking care of dad (cancer tumour operation in the summer)....but still. I'm not trying to steal the attention from the one that needs it (dad) or anything like that. All I ask from her, is understanding. All I'm asking is, that she wouldn't question every pain I have....since WHY would I lie about having pains?! What good could I possibly get from that?!?!

I dunno what is this thing with her, that I never get through her when it's about these things. She has knee pains, due to her age. They are pretty painful, when she has to do a lot of things on one else can (like carrying the groceries, now that dad is in too weak condition to help). I'd do anything to help her...but with my own pains I cannot do much. I know she feels lonely and incompetent.

Coping with dad's issues has been hard for all of us. The fear of him dying in the beginning...the long time he was in the hospital. And now the slow, soo slow recovery at home. It has taken a lot of energy from all of us. With my own pains to deal with, I sometimes find it incredibly difficult to have enough energy for the others. I know his pains have been MUCH greater than mine, but still I find myself incompetent to help enough. With the home or with dad.

I know mom thinks I'm just using my pains to get off from doing chores, has been like that for years. But my pains have also been around for quite some time. Years. I have good times and bad times. At good times I can do something, but without any warning, something can come up again and put me into the endless cycle of pain again.

It's the element of surprise no one likes. Pains always come with the element of surprise. Good times can end as fast as they can begin. Bad times come and go without warning. And that is what makes them so hard to believe, if ur not the patient urself, I believe.

This is my never-ending dilemma....how to make my mother see this how I'd want her do. It's no use to start yelling about it. Done that too many times during the years. Besides this, we have a good relationship, close and loving. There are times, when we have agreed about these issues. But too few have those times been...

Trying to discuss about this as adults...just does not work. Something in her makes me feel like a little child again, who does not have any authority over herself. I just loose my temper and want to cry for not getting through her. I feel angry, incompetent and frustrated. As an adult, I don't need her permission, approval or anything like that....but since I still live with them, some kind of mutual understanding would make it easier for everyone. I just want us to make peace with this. But she won't. If only she'd stop critisizing me how I live my life. I cannot afford living on my own yet to get rid of the situation, so I have to find some kind of way to deal with her, one day or another.

Sorry, long vent. Was gonna make this a short post, but things just poured..thanks for listening.
I love my mom deeply, but at times she just makes me insane...

I'll tell how it went with the GP tomorrow then. Good night and thanks for being there 

[feggie]

Hi
I am using a walker instead  of the crutches they showed me in the hospital.  I am in an immobilizer,and allowed partial weight bearing.I had acl allograft reconstruction, and meniscus repair on 11/1/05.
Have you thought about the arm cruches (like FDR used)?  I remember seeing Bill Clinton use them, after his knee surgery.  I spoke to a man using them before I had my  surgery, and he said they were great.
Good luck to you!
Feggie

[sparkle999]

Good morning to you Chris
Hope today is pain free and happy for you. In my experience it's the deciding you need to off work and the explaining to work that causes the stress, NOT the actual being off. Make sure you spend this time resting and not worrying. It's well worth finding a few decent films to watch or finding somethind relaxing to fill the time...otherwise you'll sit and worry about everything.

As a mom myself....it may well be that your mom gets really frustrated herself. It's hard when your kids are ill and/or in pain. You SO MUCH want them to be well and happy you'll try anything, even if that's being harsh and hoping your son/daughter 'snaps out of it'. I'm sure your mom wants you well, she maybe just finds the whole thing too much to understand and then has to see you worrying and sad....makes it hard for both of you!

Hope you feel better soon Chris Angel!
xx

[ChrisAngel]

Hey you all wonderful people!

This morning I visited my GP and got sickleave for this week. He will give me more if I need it. Now we have to find a temp for me at work with my boss...no idea who, but that will be seen. Just gotta spread the word among co-workers, if someone would have time to help me out.. I've never had a temp before at my current job, so it will be a new thing to experience.

My mom's reaction was pretty much like "Sickleave for the WHOLE week? Oh my god...!" I just try avoid talking about this with her too much. She's the one who constantly talks like if I miss this much work my boss will fire me...which is why I'm not gonna tell her we are gonna get a temp for me now. It would just add water to the mill... Next thing I know she would be talking like "Your temp will get your job, if ur not doing it. Ur not doing ur work, so ur boss will fire u." I've been thinking that maybe she talks like that, because when she was younger, things were a lot different in working life as well. She started working when she was 15 (summer jobs) and just recently retired. Gap between generations might have it's part in this..

I thank you for the mother's point of view, Sparkle. I believe what you say might be part of the issue here as well.
Really thanks for the point, it made me think. I can now try not to get so frustrated, but try understand the reasons behind her actions. At least part of the time. The other part of time I will just go NUTS! Just as daughters are supposed to do with their mothers every now and then *grin* 

A friend visited me today, which cheered me up a bit.

A DVD I ordered some time ago just arrived in the mail. So movietime it shall be 

[ChrisAngel]

Bad day. REALLY...bad...day... Shoulders give me incredible pain and it's impossible to find ANY position to be in. It hurts just however I am. Lying, standing...I cannot STAND this anymore!!! 

Writing hurts like hell, but there's nothing else to do. I have to take the hurt to get this out.

Right now I hurt all over...the muscles in my neck, shoulders and upper body have gone totally into these tight knots and painful during these 3 weeks my shoulder pains started. Of course. The surrounding muscles become achey as well, when I have to avoid the tender areas and be in abnormal positions. But no massage helps them, since the area of shouders is so sensitive for touch alone. Under the collarbones are one of the most painful areas. And around the shoulder joint. Pain radiates to elbows and arm muscles.

Every morning I wake up more painful, since I cannot sleep properly. Seems that just every position hurts.I'm sorry...there are way bigger problems than this....but I just cannot take this anymore right now. I've always kinda took shoulders for granted, because they have been the ONE PART of my body, that has never been injured. EVERY OTHER PART in body has pretty much had some pain in it during the years. Head, neck, back, wrists, waist, hips, knees, ankles, feet, heels....and now the last. Shoulders. It's a totally new pain and I seem not to be able to cope with it. I'm just crying it to go away, since it ruins everything!!

It can cost me my job. I CANNOT afford being away from work long. If this pain takes long to heal, I'm doomed. Health is important, but how am I gonna live without a job?!

There's no one to turn to. Mom is occupied with taking care of dad. As it should be, of course. She's the one I usually can talk to, but not anymore. Too much is too much. She cannot take it now. The whole situation is so flammable, that I'm practically bursting for not having anyone to talk to. I feel so ALONE and isolated. Whatever I do, it doesn't take my mind off pains. Mom often just says, that I shouldn't dwell in the pains all the time.

Well, how in HELL COULD I NOT TO, WHEN ALL I FEEL *IS* PAIN!?!?!? I cannot just "switch" them off....god I wish I could!! 

HOW cannot anyone understand that?!?! I CANNOT SWITCH OFF THE PAINS!!! 

I tried to talk with my mom once again. We ended up almost yelling. We made up, at least somewhat, but the issues are still there. Undiscussed. Her life is not easy, far from that. I understand that. At least I try as hard as I can. I'd want to discuss more, but mom cannot. She has so much to survive right now, that she says she just has to close her eyes and go on. If she'll break down, the whole household will. She does not have any friends really she could talk to. Her sister was pretty much her only friend and she passed away 3 years ago. On sunday it will be exactly 3 years. Same day is father's day in Finland.

I'm so worried about her, and at the same time long for her comfort and understanding. I just feel like the worst daughter ever. There's no way out of this. We're in a rut.

I LONG for understanding and a shoulder to cry on. Everyone is having so much going on in their lives, that I have no room. At least not as much room as I'd like to have. I feel I've already taken so much room I cannot ask for more at least in ten years or so!

MY 2 closest friends (who have seen me at my worst) can only take in so much. Once I've frieked the other one out totally by calling her in the middle of the night, crying and feeling almost suicidal. I just cannot do that again, when she is having so much going on in her own life aside me. I hate myself for always being like this, but how can I not. As said, I cannot switch off the pains. They affect in my life and to the closest ones I cannot lie all the time how I am doing. And I don't want to. I try not to whine too much, but not doing that would be lying to myself. If I'm not doing well, then I'm just not. But often I just say "Yes, today was a painful day as usual." And that's that. I don't dig in deeper, unless they ask about it. I always ask about their lives and show interest. So I'd say I try my best to be a good friend too.

In the time of crisis, I always try being there for them, and hope from them the same. But too much is too much. Then how could I just go on and on...I think we've reached the limit long time ago.

They always wonder, that HOW can someone's life be like this. Pain after pain after pain. Wish I could tell that myself. They understand, but not enough. Too healthy themselves.

I swear I feel ridiculous afterwards to read all the stuff I pour in here...but right now it's the only way. Only way to reach out for someones who understand. Even if I'm now typing with the limbs that hurt the most...

I worry about the work all the time. It does not give me peace of mind to be in peace during sickleave. I wish it wasn't so. And folks at home sure keep me reminded how "ridiculous" I'm with being on sickleave AGAIN. I look well, so I "should" be well. Sometimes I just feel I could rip my guts open and no one would notice!

I think I made the right thing with telling my boss I had a little "accident" last week where I hurt my shoulder. If I've told him I've had this for 3 weeks now, he wouldn't have believed. He always believes acute pain better. Silent, passive, long-term pain is the thing he cannot understand. He couldn't see how I first WAS at work with it, and then suddenly am NOT.

It doesn't matter I told him a little lie, since the diagnose is the same. From what I've googled about pinched nerves, they can occure pretty much anytime. Kinda like backpain (lumbago). So he cannot prove I was not telling the truth.

Since HOW would he have believed, that I did NOTHING, and ended up with pains as bad as these?!  I just must've moved my arms wrong.

I've learned by now (I wish at least) how to talk about pains to him. How to make him believe. Way before this. Happened when I told him I've had ankle pains for some time, which then have become unbearable and I was asking if I could work from home. He obviously didn't believe it could be bad, if I HAD been at work with that. Just told me to try stick to working and then if they swell, then get off. Too bad I never have swelling! Then the knees got worse....and now I'm with the sore shoulders. One thing follows the other. Didn't even have time to tell him about knees, when the shoulders came in so soon.

HOW cannot people see, that at first I TRY be at work with the pain, and ask not to be there only AFTER I've tried?! I NEVER am off work unless I've tried first. It's no use telling people I always try being at work, before I ask for sickleave. They just wouldn't believe.

So better not tell them how I suffer at work with the pain, only because I try to be a good little worker and GO ON AS LONG AS I CAN. I carry responsibilities over my work and take it seriously. I worry of my work when on sickleave. I know and worry over the fact I'm leaving my boss in trouble, which is why we try find a temp for me. No luck yet, but we'll see..

Better just tell right away that hey, I have pain, cannot work. Then IF they say that have I tried working, I will tell I have. Not otherwise will I tell anymore that I have tried.

I TRIED to be at work for 1,5 weeks with the pain, then had my week off. Came to conclusion that work cannot be done now, and went to the GP to ask for sickleave. Said that we'll try with 1-2 weeks first. God. If this week is not showing improvement....I'm onto another week.

How long will my boss tolerate this...makes me fear for my job constantly. I know I should think that hey, I cannot help if I'm in pain, it's not my fault. But still I feel so.

I'm getting REALLY impatient with these. Tomorrow I'm having my first appointment to the acupuncturist. No idea if that will help, but gotta try. If only someone could give some accurate time-frame. But I know no one can. And that is the thing that bugs my work the most. I MUST know something about how long I will be on sickleave. Christmas is such a busy time and who will take care of all these things if not me....god help me to get better soon!

Could vent on and on...but hands put me stop NOW. Thanks for listening....if you had the patience to read this thru! Good night 

[DeeDee]

Morning Chris

Sorry to hear you are not doing so well, and that you are having to take sick leave.  I do understand how you feel about taking sick leave, I was only in my job 7 months when I first had to take sick leave and that was for nearly a year. I was also worried about losing my job, because I was new to the job, what with only being there 7 months. 

Then I went back to work June of this year, then was off again in July because my knee was so painful and I couldn't walk, since then I have been to work on and off, taking lots of sick leave, also I had 3 weeks off in Aug/Sept because I had surgery on my tummy, and now I am off again because of surgery on Monday, and wont be back until after christmas.  They have managed to organise a temp, we use agency staff in the UK, but the temp that is doing my job is not very good, so I don't have to worry there.

I was wondering if there was any laws in Finland to protect disabled workers like they do in the UK, I have looked into it over here, and now know that my boss cannot sack me for any sick leave that I take.  Try not to worry to much about work, your health is the most important thing, because if you don't look after yourself you wont get any better, then where would you be.

The pain I also understand, people think the same about me, just because they can't see it, they think it's not there, but it is, because we are the ones feeling it. My mother also find it hard to understand that I am in pain, because I am young she thinks that there is nothing wrong with me and that I am not in pain, I also try to explain things to her and sometimes she can say some hurtful things to me, but we had a good chat the other day and I explained to her that it is hard for me being so young and in pain and to go back to when she was my age and put herself in my shoes, I cant do the things she did at my age, going out enjoying and enjying life. My life is at a stand still when I should be doing things that people my  age are doing, playing outside with my son, these things I can no longer do, she did understand where I was coming from, and now I think she understands a bit better now.  I think you just need to find the right words to make your mum understand, which I know can be hard.

Hang in there, things will get better for you, I know right now it doesn't seem that way, but they will, I have been where you are and I have come through it. Maybe yourself your mum and dad could maybe do something together, just spend sometime together, it may cheer you all up, as you say your mum is very down at the moment and your dad is not so good.  What about a drive out to the countryside, and stop off somewhere for something to eat. 

And don't forgot we at knee geeks are your friends and we are always here for you anytime of the day, seven days a week to listen to you as we understand what you are going through, so never feel that you are alone, because you are not, we care about you, always.

Take care of yourself, and don't forget we are here if you need us.

DeeDee xx