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Author Topic: It anyone else just tired of all this??  (Read 981 times)

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Offline PattiAnn237

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It anyone else just tired of all this??
« on: June 22, 2005, 11:53:18 PM »
I went to see my OS today and Im am probably going to be scheduling a TTT for december.  But I started to cry on the way home and i thought, I am just so tired of this I feel like just forgetting about all of it, just living with kneepain for the rest of my life.  I don;t feel like have surgery, or missing school and work, or going to PT, or having a big scar, or thinking about my knee.  Im sick of it and I just feel like giving up.  My mom says Im feeling sorry for my self and being pessimistic, and maybe shes right, but she doesn;t really get it, and you guys do, so does anyone else ever feel like this??  ~Patti
25 y/o
Left knee- lateral tilt, lateral tracking, arthritis
LR 8/5/04 (failed)
Diagnostic Scope- 5/2/05 (scar tissue removed)
Holding off on TTT till I can get through school!

shadehawk

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Re: It anyone else just tired of all this??
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2005, 12:21:48 AM »
~ Patti,

Sorry that you are going to need a TTT, but you do also know that this procedure does have very good outcomes.  Look at our recent TTT's,  Erin, Mandy, Jen & Kayla - they are doing really well already.

We all get our moments - it is expected with all this pain it is draining after awhile and creates it's own kind of fatigue.....I do not think it is selfish.  You are probably tired of thinking about what is going to happen, crutches, braces and physio etc.....Maybe, though it will be the best decision you ever make.  YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT.....

Good luck with your decision,

Shade
« Last Edit: June 23, 2005, 01:12:54 AM by Shade »

Offline finnva

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Re: It anyone else just tired of all this??
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2005, 12:46:05 AM »
Well sure! I can't even begin to describe the level of frustration that I've felt over the years as a result of my knees. I lost my college scholarship (supposed to play lacrosse) to a shattered patella. But when the doctors told me that I couldn't run anymore (something that I would do everymorning before school, and loved!) I decided to see what else was out there. I live in Philadelphia, and rowing is a local favorite sport. I luckily had access to the sport and took advantage. Within a year I had found a new love. Now, although being a competitive rower can be destructive to you knees, and ultimately lead me to have a TTT on my right knee, I did get to train with an international team in Sweden. I can't train competitively anymore, but I can still enjoy the sport.

I have been so incredibly depressed when my friends are going hiking, skiing, rock climbing, etc., knowing someone of my age should be able to do that kind of stuff -- dammit! But then I started volunteering with a local disabled rowing house. These are people with disabilities that range from the severe (meaning they have motorized chairs they steer with subtle movements with their neck) to the less severe (on crutches ... permanently). This really opened my eyes. I can walk ... I'm really lucky. I swim. I bike (be it on flat trails).

I guess the only advice I can give you, Patti, is look at the bright side. They're not going to take your leg off! I know that probably sounds like your mom, but hey ... she's right, think positive! My TTT made my leg stronger than it was before I had it -- I had less dislocations and with the alignment came greater stability.

Good Luck, Patti ... Keep us informed as to what you decide to do, and keep your head up!!
all the best,
Jamie
Chronic chondromalacia since childhood
Osgood-Slaughter disease
Shattered patella (2/3 remains)
First surgery to remove bone fragments, repair torn ligaments
Second -- scar tissue manipluation
Third -- TTT
Currently looking into Carticel

Offline keljims99

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Re: It anyone else just tired of all this??
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2005, 01:41:35 AM »
I certainly understand how you are feeling! I am sooooo sick of my knee problems too. I have had 6 surgeries in the past 9 years....3 of them in the last year. I was in a motorcycle crash that blew my ACL and shredded the cartilage.  I have endured so much pain, but that doesn't really bother me so much as just being laid up! I have a 2 year old and two home businesses and can't get on with my life until this stupid knee gets better. (I just had a surgery to repair torn quadricep along with a completely fractured patella.) I understand your frustration. I feel impatient and angry that this keeps happening. Sometimes I wish I had lost my leg as I would have moved on with my life by now. Here is my best advice, stupid as it may sound: find something at least once a day that makes you laugh. Watch a funny show, read a funny book, go online and look for sites with jokes, whatever it takes, because for those couple of minutes when you are really laughing, all this other stuff kind of goes away. It is a small vacation, but a vacation none the less. Hang in there and have a laugh!
X! O!  Kel

Offline Nettan

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Re: It anyone else just tired of all this??
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2005, 07:29:39 AM »
Patti !!

We all have our bad days. It's so hopeless sometimes with these surgereis and this enldess sessions of pt. But somewhere out of it there must be an end for everyone of us when there's enough. I have no clues about TTT just what I have read here but many have been helped and come back to a better life after it. I have sometimes when feeling sick and tired totally of it taken a break from everything and not done pt or jumped over surgeries for a while and tried just to live. Maybe you need a break from everything for a while. Get together with friends or family and do something you enjoy. Maybe you need that right now. I'm sure you will feel better after that and on your move to start this fight again.

Hugs to you from me Nettan  8)
Surgery 6 times left knee torn meniscus, RSDS,chondromalacia, nervdamage cause constant nervpain,chronic inflamm.
Spinaldamage wheeler 100%.
Right knee damaged aug-06, use brace surgery 4/9-07.LCL tear.

Offline Natalie.D

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Re: It anyone else just tired of all this??
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2005, 09:08:01 AM »
Hey Patti,

Yeah, I sure do feel like that A LOT!  But you just have to keep going - once you've had your TTT then hopefully things will start to get better for you - having the TTTs were the best thing I could have done for my knees, they were a complete success,  ;D  so keep your chin up, look forward to getting better and getting on with your life - I'm sure it will happen for you, you just have to try to be patient and hang in there.  I think the others have good ideas saying that maybe you should try to do something that makes you happy and takes your mind off things for a bit.  Good luck with your surgery, hope you start to feel better soon.

Natalie.
Dislocations since age 12
Trochlear Dysplasia
Maltracking
Hypermobile
LR/MR-failed
TTT, LR, MR L knee 95-Success
TTT, LR, MR R 02-Success
Screws out
Partial tear ACL
Severe end stage OA
4 Debridements
Partial Meniscectomy
Failed Microfracture
11mm Defect LFC
Bone Spurs, Kissing Lesions

Offline goose

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Re: It anyone else just tired of all this??
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2005, 05:06:41 PM »
totally relate!

It's a vicious cycle.  Just had my first  TTT (left knee) in December of 04 and now my right knee is acting very much like my left did prior to the TTT...

The frustration I find gets better the more I educated myself about knees and treatment options though. We will all be on the boards for you.

Goose
RK-LR 1988
RK-LR 1999, chondromalacia, torn cartlidge removed, debridement
LK-LR 2002, chondromalacia
LK 11/2004 diagonstic scope, lesion removed, debridement
LK-TTT 12/8/2004

Offline smiley196

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Re: It anyone else just tired of all this??
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2005, 05:54:01 PM »
ooh patti, we all know how you feel! I sure can say Im extremly tired of all this knee stuff too and it really takes a beating on your nerves. Living with kneepain the rest f my life is something I have been thinking about alot lately too especially since the doctor told me I would have to continue like this the rest of my life and Im only 15! Everyone is entitled to be pessemitic once and a while and when people tell me that it really frusterates me too. Especially since I dont complain every single day about it. I just tell myself like dont take them seriosuly cause if they were in my shoes i doubt they'd be optimistic every day. You cant judge someone until your stood in their shoes..Hope your feeling loads better..keep smilin!
Krista

*16 years old*
Left Knee:
Torn:PCL, ACL, MCL
SEVERAL dislocations
Grade 3 Chondromalacia
Medial & Lateral Meniscus tears
Plica Syndrome
Sept 14th 2005-(LK)ACL recon, TTT, menisectomy,plica removal

May 26th/06-Torn ACL(RK)

June 14th/06-(LK)ACL graft recon, screw removal, menisectomy

Offline cjones

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Re: It anyone else just tired of all this??
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2005, 06:51:29 PM »
Sorry to hear about the surgery.  I can't imagine how frustrating this all is. 

Offline PattiAnn237

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Re: It anyone else just tired of all this??
« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2005, 12:14:46 AM »
Thank you everyone!  Your support really does help.  I know that Im really lucky, things could be a lot worse, it just gets so hard sometimes and I have to remind myself that life is full of bumps in the road.  Im hoping that a TTT is the answer Ive been looking for, but the chronic worrier in me just won't let myself relax about it.  Thanks again!!  HUGS, Patti
25 y/o
Left knee- lateral tilt, lateral tracking, arthritis
LR 8/5/04 (failed)
Diagnostic Scope- 5/2/05 (scar tissue removed)
Holding off on TTT till I can get through school!