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Author Topic: TOP TEN LIST (((joke)))  (Read 1538 times)

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shadehawk

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TOP TEN LIST (((joke)))
« on: June 05, 2005, 02:53:54 PM »
THIS IS JUST A JOKE!!!! IT IS JUST LIKE LETTERMAN'S TOP TEN.......
 
Top Ten Signs Your Operation Will Not Go Well

10. "So, where did you go to medical school?" - Patient
"Whaddya mean?" - Doctor

9. "Aren't you a plastic surgeon?" - Patient
"Yes I am, the whole knee thing was just a plot to get you in here. You're actually in here because you're incredibly ugly." - Doctor

8. "Nurse, what's this guy in here for again?" - Doctor

7. "What are my options for dealing with this?" - Patient
"Hmm, well I would say that all depends upon how good your insurance is." - Doctor

6. "You've performed this surgery many times?" - Patient
"No, but it's basically all the same idea. Cut, cut, sew, bandage." - Doctor

5. "It looks like you're allergic to all the stuff I have." - Anesthesiologist

4. "I see you're a grad student. Getting your Ph.D. sure would have been a great achievement." - Doctor

3. "I'll be out on the golf course in no time." - Patient
"Oh that unbridled hope of yours is truly precious." - Doctor

2. "We'll be down there tomorrow with some papers for you to sign." - Patient's Parents
"I'll be there next week for Thanksgiving, why don't we just do it then?" - Patient
"We would prefer to have you sign them before the big day." - Patient's Parents

1. "There goes our accident-free record." - Nurse

Shade
 

Offline ProfLiebstrom

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Re: TOP TEN LIST (((joke)))
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2005, 04:16:40 PM »
Worrying thing is I've HAD number 8 happen before.....Although it was a med student he asked not a nurse.

And being in the fracture clinic with a cast on my arm it isn't really hard to figure out WHY i was there if he had just looked in.

Offline Beth_T

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Re: TOP TEN LIST (((joke)))
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2005, 11:46:36 AM »
Shade

LOL - no.6 is my fav.

hugs Beth x
Had a not needed LR op due to a fall
Found out that nerve damage was causing the pain, acupuncture worked - all ok :)

shadehawk

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Re: TOP TEN LIST (((joke)))
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2005, 12:16:15 PM »
Beth,

Yes, #6 - that must be referring to some that I visited. 

Oh!!!   What a difference a good OS can make to the way you feel about facing treatment options - whether it is physio or surgical procedures. 
It is sad that people have to sometimes see both sides of the picture (so to speak) - some of the above noted really did ring a bell...but sometimes you just have to hunt & look for help - it is there.......

It is such a good feeling when you realize that you have found that os that understands your condition...........

Shade

Offline Beth_T

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Re: TOP TEN LIST (((joke)))
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2005, 12:54:54 PM »
Shade

You're soooo right!

It's nice for an OS to sit down, listen and then say "yes - I understand".  Unfortunately it's very hit and miss

Hugs Beth x

Had a not needed LR op due to a fall
Found out that nerve damage was causing the pain, acupuncture worked - all ok :)

shadehawk

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Re: TOP TEN LIST (((joke)))
« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2005, 10:47:16 PM »
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE DEALING WITH A DUMB CRIMINAL:

1) He took public transportation to and from his bank robbery.

2) He is using his seeing eye dog as a look-out.

3) Instead of a cherry pie, she shoplifted yeast, flour, eggs, and a jar of cherries.

4) You caught him driving a stolen car with "The Club" still on.

5) He tries to convince you that he thought crack was a breakfast cereal.

6) He responds to your use of verbal force with a bunch of "Yo'momma" oneliners.

7) He makes himself laugh every time he says he's innocent.

8) He claims diplomatic immunity because he's a citizen of the Republic of Texas.

9) He asks the judge for a senior citizen discount on his 7-year sentence.

10) He left footprints and a bloody glove at the crime scene.















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