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Author Topic: How do you respond?  (Read 1972 times)

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Offline Patience : )

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How do you respond?
« on: May 30, 2005, 03:33:40 PM »
When you see people and they ask, "How's your knee?" What is the appropriate response?  Do they really want to know?  I could go on and on ... instead I've been finding myself replying with .... fine.  I've never had to share myself with a body part that I feel has taken on a life of it's own before.  When I was in physical therapy (didnt work, too much damage already) I would just agree with whatever the fellow patients asked - "Oh what did you do?  Twist it? Yup.  I would reply.  "Oh what did you do? Mess that knee up playing sports? Yup.  I would reply.  This made it easy, they just assumed I did these things because I look too young to them on the outside.  The truth is I am old on the inside and have no cartilage ... ya know ... Chrondomalacia and am waiting for my referral to Ortho so I can get an MRI and a Catscan.  I am in chronic pain and can feel my bones scraping together as I walk.  Thus the screen name patiene ... I was used to always walking fast, always on the go.  Now I walk very slow as to avoid the feeling of the scraping.  I am now forced to stop and smell the roses.

Offline robinred

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2005, 03:47:11 PM »
I know exactly how you feel.I usually reply with the same old fine, because if it is not someone who has problems with their knees that don't really understand.I have always done fast walking as my main source of exercise and now it is very frustrating for me because I can't walk at the pace that I was always used to.My husband will just say its like that for everyone who is getting older.I know I am getting older, 47, but before tearing my ACL I was able to walk at a quick pace, it just doesn't feel right if I try to do that now.It is very frustrating.I was in the pool yesterday with my kids and I tried to swim and kick my legs and it really hurt my knee and couldn't do it, that really brought me down.Sorry I am rambling, but I do understand.Hang in there.Robin

Offline Beauzer

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2005, 04:07:37 PM »
I'm just sick of having to explain to EVERYBODY what happened.  Sometimes I feel like carrying a big sign on my back.  Why do folks think that if you're young, you can't have bad problems or arthritis? 

I know all the questions are because folks want to show concern, but it gets annoying.  I just try not to remember they're asking because they care (or maybe are just nosy).   My short answer these days is that I had some cartilage surgery done.

Hang in there.
32 - R knee gone to hell
lat. meniscus 94
ACL, chondroplasty 98
Chondroplasty 99
Screw fell out into joint, med. meniscus, microfracture 99
MCL/med. capsule recon, med. meniscus 00
Chondroplasty 04
Chrondroplasty 1/05
OATS 4/05 for OCD lesion
AVN, MFC fracture 10/05

Offline ProfLiebstrom

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #3 on: May 30, 2005, 04:52:17 PM »
The question i hate is "how did it go?" my family asks that to EVERYTHING. Got a letter from physio and they ask how did it go?!?! It's a letter for christ sake. How am I mean't to answer to that lol.

When people ask how my knee is I just say "It's f**ked that's how it is". It's not so bad when friends ask you. But say if you have a cast on. You get random people walking up to you and asking "what's that?" etc. Thats whats a pain!

Offline Pati__MT

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2005, 04:59:20 PM »
I agree. People always aske"how are you doing" and I just say fine. If you start to explain even the smallest thing I think it looses their interest. Which is ok cause like you said, Unless you have been through it you have no idea what I am talking about anyways. So ALL us "FINE" people take care and we will listen to each other. Great site here.............Pati 7 wks post op getting very impatient...LOL
55 yrs old
April 12,2005 Fulkerson/LR left knee
Sept 13,2005 Fulkerson/LR right knee


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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #5 on: May 30, 2005, 05:00:24 PM »

Can understand this. †Think that people are universally curious - but do not want long explanations - and really mean well....

Have faced this myself, but only people who have had previous knee problems themselves seem really interested. †It is because they understand something about what you are going through. †Think about it, before you had knee problems - you were not doing research on knees...none of us were.

Can relate to what you are saying, but just remember tomorrow is another day and you do not know what is just around the corner.

Good luck,


Offline Nettan

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #6 on: May 30, 2005, 06:09:19 PM »
Hey !!

I answer in different ways depending on who's asking. If Knee Geeks ask of course I tell the story. But out when meeting people f.i. in store I don't think it's necessery for them to know why I use wheelchair.
So this is a balance we all need to find what's best for one and each of us.
Hugs to you all.

Nettan  8)
Surgery 6 times left knee torn meniscus, RSDS,chondromalacia, nervdamage cause constant nervpain,chronic inflamm.
Spinaldamage wheeler 100%.
Right knee damaged aug-06, use brace surgery 4/9-07.LCL tear.

Offline Linds

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #7 on: May 30, 2005, 08:36:21 PM »
Hey PAtience, I hear you loud and clear.
I'm just about the same as you, except when people ask me how my knees are I usually just say mmm... okay.... and they know I don't want to talk about it! People don't really want to know usually they just ask because they feel they must. I'm sorry that you are in so much pain and I hope you get some help soon!
Unfortunately Chondromalcia and stuff are really tough to get fixed up.
I have been struggling with maltracking and chondromalacia for years and years.. almost 17 years actually..
i'm 24 :p
I hope that you get some useful answers and support and mostly help and relief.
1997 Scope RK
2002 LR RK
2002 Scope and hematoma evac RK
2004 LR LK
May 06 Fall from Horse, partial ACL tear and meniscus injury, Tibial plateau injury
2007 Scope, Plica Excision and Debride LK
2009/2010- Possibly Ankylosing Spondylitis?

Offline PattiAnn237

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2005, 10:10:57 PM »
I don't mind when people who i see everyday ask me how the knee's feeling, I usually tell the truth, and they seem to be asking to be comforting, BUT I HATE when people who I haven't seen in awhile say, "So how is your knee doing?"  and I say "well its been better", and then they just move on with the conversation, obviously they don't care!!  And now they've made me think about how my knee hurts for no reason, I hate that, Id rather them just forget about it!
25 y/o
Left knee- lateral tilt, lateral tracking, arthritis
LR 8/5/04 (failed)
Diagnostic Scope- 5/2/05 (scar tissue removed)
Holding off on TTT till I can get through school!

Offline stgiles16

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2005, 10:18:25 PM »
My favorite comment when people ask is "it's still attached". That means, that it is still messed up but I am still going. Most people know that I have been battling this beast for 4 yrs now and they dont truly want the story so that way, they know that I am not well yet but still plugging along. The most irritating thing to me is when someone will say" well, I know so and so and they had one knee surgery and they are good as new now" AARRGHHH. Good for them, I wish that were the case with me but it isnt. It does not make me feel better to hear that. To me it sounds like they are blaming me for not healing appropriately,,,,,,,, like I chose this alternative.

I know that they are usually well meaning so I do bite my tongue, but it frustrates me.

2 ligament recons right ankle
2 arthroscopic,
5 open knee procedures
2 Plica removals
bone spur removal
2 microfractures
4 debridements
2 open LOAs all on left knee
Arthritis,both knees, ankles, shoulders, elbows, hands,spine
LOA & PKR 2/15/06
in pain mgmt
TKR JAN 2012

Offline Ron22

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #10 on: May 30, 2005, 10:32:33 PM »
i feel u missy..same for me..specially w/ my family...even today ....i left the sticx in the car and the zimmer splint..see my posts in spritual posts and i think u would see why...tis a nitemare altho last nite's spill really casts a pall on my 20th college reuinon as i posted just before..when i went in to give dad the b-day party..he's on trial and mom is stmach flu ridden so they cancelled all family stuff for the wkend...worked all wkend....and i went in their house took meds before..and wore my hoops brace and tried for the 20 mins to refrain from pain faces..didn't cry (first time since last spill....3 mth ordeal that ended in march) till i drove away..having a bad nite..but spent an hr or two w/ my w/c pal and lit a candle..watching a comedy and trying to buck up for my new client bkfst mtg tmrw at 7am


Surgery #1 ACL/LR/Mdl Mesniscus
Surgery #2 Vascular Repair
Surgery#3 ACL/Ltl Mesniscus/MCL
Surgery#4 Vascular Repair
Surgery#5 Maquet/Bone Graft/Screw/LR/ACL
Vascular Issues
All on Right Leg

Offline lilrosie06

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2005, 04:25:38 AM »
Geez...I can only imagine how some of you feel. I have only been going through this "knee stuff" for 6 mos. now, and it does get frustrating not knowing how to answer when everyone asks hows the knee. I usually answer with "its there". This usually lets them know that its still giving me trouble, and kind of says I dont wanna talk about it. It just gets so hard answering questions, etc. You know---Well what if therapy doesnt work? What will they do next? What is wrong with it?Will it ever get better?  :-\I wish I knew. But it is good to know that people do mean well....

hugs to all my knee friends....who always understand.



Offline Teresa_S

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #12 on: May 31, 2005, 04:32:38 AM »
My favorite: "hanging in there." THEN IF they want more information, they will ask, and I will try to briefly summarize what has been going on. IF they just change the subject, I saved both of us the bother. MOST people really don 't want to know, just think they should ask. After a few months, people seem to blame us for not being better. After years, they usually avoid it or ask the question in a way to make us feel worse. DON"T worry about it. Teresa
On going instrumentation failure, chronic infection,
Arthroscopes Left 11 Right 2, MRSA, L TKR† ,† Revision, LR x5, Medial and lateral meniscus repair, Broken prosthesis
Osteochondral Fracture,untreated 6 mths. Revision new tkr 01-07 awaiting new hip and right knee
R TKR pending

Offline eco49rvra

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2005, 04:41:26 AM »
I, too, enjoy something along the lines of, "It's still there," as if there were some substantial risk of amputation. I totally hate having to explain HOW I did it, too, considering it was not one of my finer moments. "Oh yeah, I got knocked on my butt by this skinny kid." The worst, though, is when they ask me how long it's going to take to get "better." I know they mean well, but if I had a magical crystal ball, I would've cashed in on the Powerball a while ago. Wow, I sound really bitter, huh? I'm really not, I swear!
2/2005- injured knee in police academy
4/2005- lateral & medial meniscus cleanup... SURPRISE! ACL is completely torn, too!
5/20/2005- ACL reconstruction (patellar autograft)

Offline rozzzie

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Re: How do you respond?
« Reply #14 on: May 31, 2005, 01:43:51 PM »
It does get old when your knee seems to be more important than you are.  I usually say "Iím here with my cane ( or whatever)"  If theyíre interested they usually say "the knee is bad today?"  Then I will say something.  Now if the knee is REALLY bad Iíll say something like "it's not good at all today." 

OA of knees since 85†
93 scrambled ankle - PE
98 PE
99 anlke fusion
04 hit by car broken leg, ribs AC joint seperation
RTKR† Dec 1 2005
LTKR. IM rod removal March 16, 2006