The GAMES ROOM => Who's Who? => Topic started by: tez27 on April 09, 2010, 11:39:01 PM

Title: children now or in the future
Post by: tez27 on April 09, 2010, 11:39:01 PM
This has probably been covered and if so my appoilgies but I would love to know a bit more about all you lovely knee geeks
Like do you have children and if so how many boys or girls etc, or is having a family something you have put off as  a result of knee problems or just work, life etc.
After 10 years of marrage and an ectopic pregnancy we addopted 2 fantastic kids, Conor who is now 18 and working at a golf club for the time being trying to decide what he wants to do with his life, and Steph who's 16 at school concentrating on music plays a few instraments and would love to get into music production. They are the best things in my life appart from mu hubby of course.
Anyone else out there care to share there familys with me I love to here about other peoples lifes just nosey I guess lo
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: crankerchick on April 10, 2010, 12:42:08 AM
This post hits home for me, so I'm compelled to share.

I was looking forward to hopefully becoming a mom this year. My husband I married in june of last year and I was hoping we would get pregnant or go the adoption route shortly after marriage. We have feen together for ages and I didn't really feel the need to "be married for a while" like some of my friends were advising.

We got engaged on oct of 08 and I was just so looking forward to all the changes my life was finally about to take.

Well, in jan of 09, my knee took a turn for the worse it had ever been. I was riding a wave of decent knee times and then bam, the worst instability I had faced to date. My kneecap started subluxing on every step.

I spent 10 months limping around while trying to figure out the right course of action. I was limping and in a brace at my wedding. I knew that any plans to become a parent needed to be put on hold. Despite several dislocations and periods of daily pain, my knee had never impacted me so incredibly in just daily activities like walking to the bathroom. My kneecap was going out just walking. I knew there was no way I could think about carrying a child, either pregnant or actually once he/she got here when every step was a fear of dislocation, falling, etc. I couldn't go through life like that, let alone try to parent like that. I kept getting this image in my mind of my child going to something dangerous and me not being able to run after him or her without hesitation or issue.

Now I am 5 months post op from the surgery in my sig and very optimistic that the instability is finally behind me and we will feel more comfortable starting a family soon. This has been and still is a long rehab, but hopefully soon I will be at a point where I feel recovered enough.
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: tez27 on April 10, 2010, 04:52:37 AM
Hi Crankerchick
Thanks for sharing your story and I really hope you are on the way to become a fantastic mom I think sometimes if things come too easy for us we tend not to appreciate it as much, with me every day I look at me kids and think how lucky I am for having them in my life dont get me wrong they both have there moments when I could happily strangle them but after what I went through to have them I will always be gratfull for being abel to be hopefully the best Mum I can be.
I was like you I wanted kids as soon as we were married but unfortunatly that was not to be we tried all the usual  fertility treatments that resulted in an ectopic pregnancy that went undiagnosed for too long and resulted in too much damage for me to concieve again so went down the adoption road and I have never regreted it at all,  so hopefully now you are on the road to having 2 healthy knees it will happen for you  and you can get back to living a normal life and be  a happy family.
Take care Tez
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: rsuddeth on April 10, 2010, 06:39:03 PM
I hope this time's the one for you, crankerchic :*

I have 17 y/o twin girls, and an 8 year adopted son. I don't think I could have gone through this if it weren't for my girls and the help they could provide (including driving) now that they're older. My husband could not have done it all himself.  And in some of the worst times, having a girl home from school around 3:00 so I didn't have to be alone any longer was priceless. (I could see it with no kids, but this surgery would not have been manageable even 2 or 3 years ago with the kids younger.)
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: ohsobright on April 10, 2010, 09:48:47 PM
Some great stories.
Crankerchic, i will be thinking of you and keeping fingers crossed.
I have a slightly different tale... my hubby and i have been together 13 years, married 9 and we kept putting off the decision to have kids - hubby left work to study nursing so i was the only wage earner, then we had house problems etc, etc.
When we did try it took a year to get pregnant, then i had 4 missed miscarriages over the next 18 months.I was ready for giving up but agreed to try once more (hubby not keen at the time on adoption although i myself am adopted)  got pregnant again and this time was given aspirin to take orally daily and a daily blood thinning injection in my abdomen until 36 weeks - i am not good with needles! After a long and not exactly joyous 9 months our daughter made her entrance 13 days overdue and out the sunroof! (c-section)
She had just turned 1 and started to walk the day i fell. Hubby has been looking after us since. It is incredibly difficult both for hubby to be doing absolutely everything and me to  watch and be helpless (think i might be a bit of a control freak) My daughter has soon learnt that there are times and places where she can be naughty and knows i can't get to her.She is a wee minx!
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: tez27 on April 11, 2010, 10:46:06 PM
Thanks Rsuddeth and Ohsobright for sharing your story's
rsuddeth 17 year old twin girls must be hard work I get stressed with 1 teenage girl who is a walking hormone at the moment so shudder to think what that would feel like doubled lol. My son seems to be past the worst of the hormonal stage fingers crossed. I hope you dont mind me asking but was you son adopted from birth or was he older, my 2 were 6 months and 2 years when we addoted them and they are brother and sister.
ohsobright I sympathise with your struggle to have a baby we went through nearly 10 years of that struggle but I wouldnt change a thing now when I look at my kids I know that this is the way it was meant to be. Your daughter sounds like a wee mink but I'm sure she has you wrapped round her little finger I loved that age when their personalities are forming and they start talking etc.
anyone else care to share their story with us?
Take care all Tez     
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: rsuddeth on April 11, 2010, 11:51:31 PM
Oh, of course they have their moments, like all teenagers, but I have been pretty lucky with my girls. It probably helps they have each other for support. Anyway, it seems to me the worst of the hormonal stuff was done a couple years ago.

My son was 5 months when we got him. I have unfortunately offended someone by saying we got him the easy way. But in fact the adoption went quite smoothly and easily for us, especially compared to what I went through with pregnancy and childbirth. It helped that we were still pretty young (I was 35 when we got him, and my husband is younger) and did not need to find a child that would look like us. We found a nice Korean program that was relatively inexpensive and easy.

Ohsobright -- wow, I can't even imagine if I were laid up when my son was that age. He was the one to get in trouble, just for the fun of trouble, I swear. I am sure that would make me crazy. I am amazed, actually, at how he seems not to take advantage now (at least not while my husband isn't around for me to fall back on.)
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: tez27 on April 14, 2010, 09:39:35 PM
rsuddeth thank's again for the reply
I was 33 when we adopted our 2 it was a total culture shock for me as we had to go through our local social services [not much choice over here U.K] and once you have been assesed you are put on the list for getting a child or children so when we got the call that we had been matched with a sibling group it was a roller coaster of 2 weeks to meet the children who were with foster parents, get to know them especially my son who was 2, get the house ready buy everything we needed for a baby and a toddler then bring them home and start living as a family. It took a while to ger into the swing of things but after a few weeks I couldnt remember life before my kids lol.
Ohsobright I also wonder how you are managing with a small child and a dodgy knee, so I  hope the knee is improving and your daughter is behaving
Take care Tez
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: rsuddeth on April 14, 2010, 10:01:44 PM
Mmmm, I guess we have more choices, but it is also very expensive to go any way other than through DCF (or whatever the social services are in your area.) But in our county, there was no chance of getting a healthy baby that way. They hadn't placed a child under 2 years old in something like 3 years, and nearly all the children they got had something wrong with them. The program we went through was relatively inexpensive (compared to most other choices) in that we got through it for about $10,000 for everything. And we got a healthy baby.

Although it was much easier for me than childbirth and pregnancy, I do remember it took a couple of weeks after we got him, before I knew it was going to be okay. He was very stressed from traveling halfway round the world -- not just losing his (foster) mother, but everything -- language, sleeping arrangements, smells, etc -- was so different from what he knew. It took him some time to accept me, and I was surprised at how much different it felt than having my own girls. But by the time he was around a couple months, he felt as much ours as the girls.
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: tez27 on April 15, 2010, 10:49:05 PM
Adoption from abroad is not that common over here and if you go down that road it would be very expensive, so we decided to take our chances with social sevices even though when we first applied we were told the chances of getting a healthy baby were very small,
We were very lucky that both our kids were fit and healthy and have grown up without any major problems conserning there adoption I think the fact that they have known from an early age about there start in life it has never been as issue.
I bet your son is spoiled rotten by his big sisters lol.
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: ohsobright on April 26, 2010, 09:37:19 PM
It's so nice to hear such positive adoption stories. They are such well loved kids. I have had such a great life and experience although i know not everyone is so lucky.
Tez, it has not been easy but we are over the worst i hope. I managed to walk with my stick in one hand and my daughter's hand in the other this week so that was a real delight. She brings me my stick if she thinks i have left it lying, bless her. Hopefully it won't be long till i can look after her again (hubby VERY keen for that to happen!)
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: tez27 on April 28, 2010, 11:06:22 PM
Its fantastic that you had a great life with your adoptive family I hope my kids say the same in the upcoming years
Its amazing to think how much pleasure you get out of the simple things, like holding your daughters hand while walking, it's another step towards getting your life back and geting back to all the things you take for granted when your fit and not limited by dodgy knees.
Im sure it wont be long untill your back to 100% and your taking care of your daughter, then your poor hubby will feel a bit redundant lol
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: Snowy on May 04, 2010, 03:59:51 AM
What awesome stories. :) It sounds like the kids adopted into your respective families couldn't have been luckier. :)

Crankerchick, I do hope that your knee problems are soon completely behind you and you'll be able to start your own family. I can't imagine the frustration of feeling ready for the next step, then being held back by your injury.

I've been married five years (good lord! Where does the time go?) and we're not planning to have kids ourselves, but we're lucky enough to have quite a few lovely kids in our extended family that we can spoil rotten. :) My little nephew over in the UK is just about to turn two, and is the sweetest kid imaginable. His Christmas gifts arrived last week after getting very lost in the mail, and my sister sent me a video of him opening the box and saying "Thank you Auntie Kay!" that made me go a little misty-eyed. We'd hoped to go visit later this year, but unfortunately pending knee surgery makes that very unlikely. He's still a bit young for the long flight to Canada, so hopefully we'll be able to visit him once I'm through the initial recovery from surgery.
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: bean11 on January 13, 2011, 04:46:09 AM
Hi tez27 when I met Nadene my future wife in hospital Motorbike acc. 1985 (she now works there as a RN) she had Aaron 4yrs & Micheal 6months, so now we have Aaron 29, Micheal @ 25, [email protected], & Shaun 19. the oldest Aaron is going steady with another nurse, that trained my wife  & has known her( Tammy) for 8 years now my new grandkids are Jed 10, Jack 6 & Elly 5, we shared our first Christmas with them, Oh it was so much more fun too ! I suppose i've got to say here again due to Motorbike14/6/10 G,day from Stephen :D
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: smillie on January 13, 2011, 05:59:19 AM
We've been married 17 years and, while my knee was causing me problems before then, it was on our honeymoon that I really aggravated it and started down the path of surgery, etc. So my poor husband has never had a wife without knee issues in all these years. We have three children--a son, age 13, a daughter, age 11, and another daughter, age 5. I stay home with our kids and homeschool them, so my mom job is full-time and very hands-on. That's why I'm so determined to get this knee fixed!
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: tez27 on January 17, 2011, 11:32:53 AM
Thanks Smillie and Bean its so long since I have been down this far on the board I had nearly forgoton about this thread, so thanks for posting I love learning more about all the lovely people on here ;D spose cos deep down I am very nosy lol.
Bean quite a story meeting your wife while in hospital though I think its something that happens now and again, I am a great believer in fate and think that the stars were alingned the day you had your accident and your wife was on duty so you two could meet, your xmas photos look geat it must be nice having grandkids that something I am really looking forward to though I hope not for a few years yet as my kids are 18 and 17, but would love it if its in my future.
Smilie my symathy goes out to you having to cope with young kids and deal with knee problems, it must be so hard and the fact you home school them means you cant even get a break while the kids are at school, me thinks you are some kind of superwoman
I really hope you get the knee fixed soon so you can start t enjoy life again.
Snowy I just noticed that you posted on here as well, adoption is a wonderful thing and I have been very lucky with my two they are by no means saints but they are good kids.
Now thats you with another nephew and talk of coming over to visit him and your family are you sure its not going to make you even a little broody??
Take care all Tez   
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: bean11 on January 18, 2011, 12:37:57 AM
Cheers for the reply tez :D Gee I got to let you know compared with our four sons, because  Nadene always pined to have a daughter, I got her a pet female rat LOL  that did,nt work, then 13.5 years ago we got kiowa (brindle female boxer) when she was a puppy Nadene quilted a blanket and imbossed her name on it and rubbed it on her mum (Boxer) she used to bring kiowa every where and people were stunned to peak at it thinking it was human baby but it was kiowa, ;D sadly on our return from Tasmainia in OCT. we got a phone call to say she had to be put to sleep, Nadene had her on pain killers for her last six months she had inoperable cancer in her shoulder, anyway she was put to sleep in front of my hole family Nadene was whaling like a  :-X we all were balling our eyes out in front of the vet his assistant & including Johns girl friend Candice it was very tough even for a hard arsed boily like me,well the day before we went to Tassie we had a barbeque, thats where Aaron met Tammy :D and we got three lovely grand kids, & more so Nadene got her grand daughter "ELLY" A bit sudden I Know but the timing was very good for our loss >:( but a fantastic gain ;D
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: tez27 on January 18, 2011, 05:14:00 PM
Bean cool story I know how dogs and cats can become part of the family our last dog Pepsi had to be put to sleep a few years ago she was old and her organs were shutting down and it was so sad the whole family were devestated, but for me it was worse cos she was my first baby because we tried for such a long time to have a child Dougie [my hubby] got me a puppy he felt I needed something to love, so she was treated by me like a baby, when we did eventually adopt my 2 kids they were 6 months and 2 years old and I was worried how Pepsi would react, but she was brilliant she never snaped or anything even though Conor would try to ride on her back and pull and haul at her plus she would bark to warn me if she saw either of them doing something they shouldn't like climbing up or going towards the stairs and stuff like that, she was amazing I never thought we would find another dog as good but only about 4 months after Pepsi was put down I met someone who was fostering a rescue dog and was looking for a good home for her so I took her and she has been wonderfull she's the most loving dog, when I was off work after both my knee ops she was by my side the whole time keeping me company, so now my kids are teenagers I still have something to baby.
I'm so please you and your wife have your girl at last and from what my friends who are already grandparent tell me there is no better feeling than having grandkids.
Take care Tez
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: bean11 on January 18, 2011, 08:35:57 PM
Cheers tez  ;) Elly was here again after dinner I,m sat at the bench top, browsing for a new car for Nadene to replace her year old cruse, Elly coloring magnetic pictures of little critters we got her right next to me while Jed & Jack were riding there new bikes out the front,she interrupted me several times with such a cute voice :D "excuse me is this (texta) pink ? I replied test it on this paper here luv ;D then excuse me can I have a icecream ?sorry Elly where out ! but you have some in the fridge in the garage? yes luv but there Johns ill give you a cool pop hey? OK can I have a green one then please ? no worries luv here you go, she carried on several times after, at appears with my seven months off I,ve learned how be  a lot more relaxed & injoy more things about life, yes for sure the little ones sure amuse & make me laugh time passes without knowing when your distracted or comforted with a puppy or as in my case "Grandkids" as soon as we can find one, Nadene is getting one of those "Rag Dol" cats, I said she couldn,t  have one till where down to two dogs, that time is here so Nadene can get one as soon as she finds one, I know I,ve rattleled on a bit hope you don,t mind, again get well from Stephen :D
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: sintu on September 10, 2011, 06:59:54 AM
Hi all,
It's great to find this community as I fractured my patella yesterday and am awaiting surgery. It's only dawning on me how huge the implications of that slip up yesterday are for my family. I never imagined I would be out of action for so long. Goodness.
Anyway, I'm an Irishwoman, living in Korea and have two children, a 4 year old girl and a 7 month old boy, who needs his Mammy very much. :(
Kids are the best though, aren't they? And hopefully they will be inspiration and motivation for me on this journey.
Best to all. xx
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: anna82marie on September 10, 2011, 10:41:20 AM
I had my accident in feb 09 and got married in sept 09. Still battling with surgery and complications, but all I've ever really wanted in life is a family. I went to see my doctor a few weeks ago to ask her opinion on having a baby and she told me I would be very foolish to fall pregnant within the next year  :( . I just sat and cried. Not only have my knee problems stopped me working and hampered my social life, but also put my dreams on hold. I'm fast approaching 30 and my hubby is in his 40s. I always thought I would have a family by now, but it seems it is not meant to be; just the last frustration in a long list. If my doctor had had her way I would have left her office with anti depressants; but I explained that I'm not depressed, just frustrated watching my life pass my by, while the people around me are having children or careers or both. I was told that with a knee as wretched as mine is I couldn't afford for it to 'loosen' anymore.

So now I'm sitting back and awaiting my next consultants appointment on Monday.

Thanks for the opportunity to have a moan!
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: sintu on September 11, 2011, 05:11:17 AM
That's really tough luck AM and must be so frustrating. Was your accident particularly bad or what kind of complications have you had? I understand the desire to have a child but you are still young. It will happen. Use the time to dream about your future family and prepare yourself! Not to mention get lots of sleep and romantic fun time with your partner before kids are added to the mix. It's true that things happen for a reason, although we might never know what that reason is. I tell myself that had this not happened, maybe something else worse would've. Who knows how many forked paths we come to in life? Your attitude of absorbing bad luck so your loved ones don't have to (saw that on another board I think?) is a nice way of looking at it.
All the best anyway and keep the chin up. It will happen. xx
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: travelthomas on November 05, 2012, 08:13:35 AM
I was married back in the 1980s, and had 2 step children, Jessie and Miah, and 4 foster children, but not all at the same time, except 2 little girls that were sisters, Cassie & Crystal, Jacob, and Terra.
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: garth on November 13, 2012, 02:26:41 PM
I got married last year and at the end of April along came Annabelle :). I'm currently getting to see lots of her as I Had a ttt at the beginning of the month. Really missing the little things like being able to pick her up although I'm already back doing nappies already  ;D.
Still, we knew what the ttt would entail and decided it best be done now rather than when she starts toddling!
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: ohsobright on December 10, 2012, 10:20:01 PM
AM: please do not despair. As it was said above, things happen for a reason although we may not know what the reason is or want to accept it. We put off having a family  till our mid 30's and then went through a series of missed miscarriages to finally have the most beautiful girl at the ripe old age of 39! We like to think she is a collaboration of all the good bits of the ones we lost. (don't get me wrong, she can be a wee minx sometimes!)

3 years on from my TPF, I still use my stick when i wear heels, or walk with "normal" people. My 4 yr old daughter, lets me win races sometimes to"make me happy" and tries to help me up from the floor after play. I long to be able to chase her round the garden or run with her as she rides her bike but that is still a way off, if ever going to happen.
Things will work out when the timing is right, it just might not be your timing.
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: wills_mum on February 19, 2014, 09:46:26 PM
I have an amazing 14 month little boy William. He was actually just a few weeks over 12 months when I  injuryed my knee. My husband has been amazing taking care of us right after my knee surgery.
Physio isn't going well but I'm hoping if I can get my knee somewhat healed we can try for  another this summer *fingers crossed*
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: ruilx on July 05, 2014, 07:59:18 PM
Knee fibrosis destroy that dream!
Title: Re: children now or in the future
Post by: LeanneWhite87 on March 26, 2015, 08:15:38 AM
I have 3 daughters aged 8,7 and 4. no more babies for me....