KNEEtalk

The WAITING ROOM => Emotional/Spiritual help and encouragement => Topic started by: lenorem9 on January 27, 2008, 03:33:13 PM

Title: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 27, 2008, 03:33:13 PM
I'm trying to put as many uplifting, positive messages out here as I can but today is more of a whiny, complaining message.  I'm just venting so if you're not in the mood for negative don't read this one. 

I know there are so many people on here that are so much worse off than I am.  Some of you have had multiple surgeries and are still hurting after years and years.  That's just making me even more depressed right now.  The thought that I might have more problems and be facing years of this...WAH!! WAH!!!

Last week I felt like I was 2 steps forward but today is a "1 step back" day for sure.   
 
Went to my friends play last night.  I enjoyed the play and she did a great job acting but I think getting there and back was what depressed me.  After 2 months post op I just feel like I should be getting around better.  I'm so stiff I can't bend to walk up and down stairs and getting in and out of cars is still a challenge.  My brother had to park right next to a snowbank because it was the only available spot.  By the time I realized I couldn't get out my side it was too late so I clambered over the driver's side to get out.  I couldn't bend much so it was really a struggle getting out of a compact car and over the shifter with a bum knee.  Then going up the steps into the theater I was having a hard time and moving slowly.  My friend Mark was behind me and kind of gave me a little shove towards the top.  He kind of giggled while he did it like he was getting a kick out of my struggle.  I know he was just trying to be helpful but I wanted to turn around and scream at him "IT ISN'T FUNNY" and "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS?"  I just calmly said "You think this is bad, wait until you see me going back down". 

Thanks for listening and sorry for the vent! 
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: Nettan on January 27, 2008, 03:48:47 PM
Make as a goal to kick him in the butt with your injured leg when that is back in shape.
Then I am sure he won't laugh again or make fun of you.
You are only 2 months out and that is nothing. Things will improve by time.
Next time when going out like this ask them to drop you off first before parking.
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: maryc on January 27, 2008, 03:51:53 PM
Please vent all you want, as I was reading your comments, my head was going up and down, yep, been there, done that, felt that way too. †Sometimes its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like that. †We both know your friend didn't mean to be upset you, and in fact he would be shocked that you felt that way. †However, he did upset you and you have the right to be upset. †Loved you comeback line, though, great recovery. †Hang in there.
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 27, 2008, 03:55:58 PM
Thanks.  Now I'm laughing.  I love you guys! 

The truth is this friend (that shoved me from behind while giggling) is the sweetest guy I've ever known.  He holds doors open for me and grabs my elbow to help while I'm walking over ice or snow.  I'm absolutely positive he wasn't trying to hurt me by his actions. 

I do like the idea of kicking him in the butt anyway, Nettan.  Ha! Ha!
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: peggy1 on January 27, 2008, 06:32:51 PM
Hi,

Sorry to hear that you are having a bad day. We all have them and they stink!! It seems that you are doing pretty darn good and you are not giving yourself the credit that you deserve. It takes time for these knees to heal and you must have patience. Your friend sounds like he was just teasing and trying to lift your spirits. I have had my husband and nephew take my cane and do silly things. They thought they were helping although I would have liked to take the cane and................. Keep up the good work, you will get there!

Peggy
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 27, 2008, 07:12:42 PM
Thanks Peggy,

You're making me laugh again.  I love the cane image.  Ouch!  That would hurt. 

I think overall I have way more good days than bad but today just seemed to be a tough one both physically AND mentally.  I woke up whiny and sad and the knee was stiff and unmoving.  I'm already snapping out of my bad mood and I know that tomorrow I'll do much better both physically and mentally.  Just when I think the bad days are behind me I'll have a day like today that gets my attention and reminds me I've got a long way to go.  I'm still trying to work on patience.  It's definitely not one of my virtues. 

I know I'm expecting too much and I'm way ahead of the game when it comes to rehab for my surgery.  For me the mental challenge is much tougher than the physical challenge.  I think I'm just angry this injury took away the things I love to do.  Hopefully 6 months from now I'll be back at Tae Kwon Do and I'll be giving new knee geeks positive thoughts like you are all giving me.
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: peggy1 on January 27, 2008, 07:38:03 PM
Hi,

I think we all have days that we have to put aside and say woe is me. I've done it on more than 1 occassion. It stinks getting hurt like this and having normal things come to a standstill. I was so ticked off the year I got hurt as I couldn't take care of all the flowers I had just planted ( over 200 of them ) and my garden went down the toilet. Every time my husband would drive by the flowers and I would see then covered in weeds I would start crying. Even though I knew in my heart I couldn't do a darn thing about them, I still wanted to get out there and straighten them out. It's been 19 months since I got hurt and come hell or high water I will be planting and taking care of my flowers and garden this year. It just takes time. Patience is not one of my virtues either but when you can't do something, you can't do it. FRUSTRATING!!! It does get better and I am sure that with pt and determination you will be back at what you love doing soon.

Good luck and keep me posted.

Peggy

Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 27, 2008, 08:12:41 PM
Hey Peggy,

I was just reading some of your first posts back to your original injury.† Ouch!† You did a good job.† All from slipping on a wet floor.† I would have been crying if I just planted 200 flowers and had to watch them all go to weeds too.†

I love my flower and vegetable gardens.† I lucked out with the timing of my injury.† My flower beds were all pretty much weeded and mulched and my vegetable garden was all planted.† I kept gardening until I just couldnít take it anymore (plus the first bonehead OSís told me all I had was a bone bruise).† I used to sit in the garden on a plastic tub and weed then move it a few feet to weed another section.† It wasnít easy but it was effective.† I even managed to get the garden cleaned up and tilled in the fall so everything will be fresh and ready for this Spring.† Iím looking forward to it.†

Hopefully youíll be able to get back into your gardens this Spring too. Iíll be thinking of you.† Iím in NY so we start a little later than you in PA.†

Well, gotta run.† My Ellie cat is telling me Iíve been neglecting her and my neighbor wants to go for a walk.† I could use both the attention of my cat and neighbor so Iíll sign off for now.† Have a great rest of the day and thanks again for your input.† Keep in touch.†
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: austinknee on January 28, 2008, 02:00:03 AM
ha ha....not that any of it is funny....but NO one gets how hard stairs are!  My husband is diong all this remodeling in the attic..etc....so, he gets up in these crawl holes...then calls down for things.....GZZZZ...it is REALLY hard to climb up a ladder..I mean it takes every bit of strength in my bad leg so I usually go up one one one one step..you know what I mean...takes FOREVER that way......right when Iget up...he will say.....oh......can you go get me this or that.......so, back down I go........I cant get mad b/c he is doing a project for me.....I told him this weekend...he better get it all out of his system b/c when I have surgery again in two weeks IM going to be barking the orders :-) 

I cant see how the heck you could get out a car on the other side of the car at just two months post op...that is actually really good....so, dont beat yourself up.....got out of the car AND went up stairs......horray! thats great!   :-)
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 28, 2008, 09:08:34 AM
If we don't find the humor in any of this we'll all be crying.  I'm still laughing about your mother-in-law saying you need to "get over the knee thing and have a baby".  That one killed me. 

You're going up and down a ladder?  BE CAREFUL!  What if you fall?  Ouch!  Can you rig some kind of basket on a rope for him to haul stuff up? 

Yesterday was just one of those days.  Normally I go up stairs great but still have a little trouble going down.  I know I'm doing really well for 2 months postop but I'm an overachiever so it's never enough.  Days when I see progress I'm fine but days when I go backwards make me crazy.  In the long run this knee injury is going to make me a stronger person physically and mentally.  Plus it's really opening my eyes to the plight of others with serious illnesses and handicaps.  I'm hoping this will make me a more caring and thoughtful person. 
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: peggy1 on January 28, 2008, 04:49:23 PM
Hey Ladies,

I still come down the stairs one at a time. The stairs are my hardest thing to do and once I am down in the morning I am down for the day. I can't believe your husband expected you to climb that ladder, men are really braindead!!! Mine would be committed if he thought I'd climb a ladder!


Lenore,

Where at in NY are you from? My daughter lives in the Bronx. Yes, when I fall I really fall HA HA The garage floor where I walk now has an indoor, outdoor carpet and that is the only way I would ever go back out to the garage.

Hope everyone is having a better day!

Peggy



Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 28, 2008, 05:07:22 PM
Hi Peggy,

I'm in upstate NY near Albany.  About 3 hrs. north of NYC.

Indoor/outdoor carpet is a great idea.  Hopefully you'll be able to do stairs, gardening and everything else you want to do before long. 
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: peggy1 on January 28, 2008, 05:13:18 PM
Lenore,

Not too worried about the stairs but I will be out playing in the dirt.

Peggy

Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: austinknee on January 28, 2008, 05:56:58 PM
It is always good to know others suffer from the stairs too.  Last year I was married....right when we got home from the wedding (it was out of state)...on Monday morning I was going back to work...I have to go down wood stairs....my husband was still sleeping (he works nights)......I was trying to practice bending my knee to take a step down and I had one some of those mule type shoes....anyway...I missed the step on my bad leg....didnt have enough of a grip on the rail and I bounced down about 5-6 stairs....it happened sooo fast I didnt even feel the pain...I was face down on the bottom of the floor in shock.......so, my hsuband hears the thud thud thud....he came around to the top of the stairs and saw me face down.......he yelled and ran down the stairs to pick me up....ha ha...funny now...he said he thought I had died a week after we were married! yikes....he dusted me off and helped me out the door.......man was I bruised up....the knee didnt get hit at all somehow but man did my butt and side. After that...I decided there was no shame in the one at a time step walking.....especially down...up is better for sure.....  Right after we were married we went house hunting....my husband understood why I wanted a bedroom downstairs! ha ha

the ladder thing is my own fault..he has seen me go up the ladder to hang ornaments on the christmas tree (where there's a will there's a way)....so, he doenst understand why I dont want to do it to the attic  ha ha......I will be a better patient after my upcoming surgery.  Im hoping my LAST surgery...crossing my fingers....so I will follow all the rules they give me!

Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: peggy1 on January 28, 2008, 06:19:10 PM
Autin,

What a funny story(not that you got hurt), just the fact that we all think we can do it, try and land face down or on our butts! Falling scares the heck out of me. I have become so careful walking that I probably make myself slower than I really am. But, the one at a time coming down the stairs thing is probably going to be a part of my life from now on. I too told my husband that we need a 1 floor house. I hate ranchers but in a few years I think we will need to go that route or at least a bi-level with just a few stairs to conquer.

Take care and be careful;)

Peggy

Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: austinknee on January 28, 2008, 06:25:50 PM
ha ha..yes, this house has two bedrooms upstairs and a master and office thing downstairs....so, if we have a baby it is going in the downstairs office room so I dont have to go up the stairs....Im optomistic that someday the leg will work again and then if I had a baby and it grows up it can go upstairs and we can then use the office downstairs...ha ha..funny to have a whole plan ready and we are not even pregnant..ha ha.......thats a womans mind I guess.

hope everyone has a great day!
laura
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: peggy1 on January 28, 2008, 06:28:43 PM
Laura,

There's nothing wrong in planning for the future and if it makes your life easier the better. I am sure the leg will heal in time. Patience and time is the recipe!

Peggy
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 28, 2008, 06:45:27 PM
Planning is what makes it all easier.  It's amazing how creative you can be.  Good for you planning this far ahead.   

Laura, I can't imagine your poor husband finding you face down and hearing the thud, thud, thud.  I bet it almost gave him a heart attack.

Peggy,  don't give up on stairs yet.  You just never know.  You might be able to do them some day.

I have a funny (not funny when it happened) story about falling 3 days after my surgery.  My dear neighbor invited me over to watch a movie because she knew I was going stir crazy.  I crutched over to her house and up the first two steps.  I opened her front door and went to swing myself up the last step into the house.  Half way through the swing I realized I was swinging the wrong foot (I think I simply forgot I only had one good leg) I landed on my injured leg, it gave out and I fell flat on my back.  The front door was wide open and my crutches were half in and half out of the door.  Just as I was lying there in shock at what I had done I heard her pull into the driveway and say "Why is the front door open?"  "I wonder if Lenore left it open" and then her 6 year old sees me lying on the floor and just as calm as can be he says "She's right here Mom" like I was supposed to be lying there. 
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: austinknee on January 28, 2008, 06:52:30 PM
That is so funny...Im laughing at my desk...not funny....but OUCH....yes, children have no clue.......ha ha..I have to go back to work now...and what a great way to end lunch!   sorry to laugh at your expence!  :-)
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: peggy1 on January 28, 2008, 08:12:12 PM
Lenore,

Too bad you didn't have a blanket and pillow, you could have taken a nap waiting for your neighbor. Falling, I went up the curb at a local Wawa using crutches and went up with the wrong foot, anyhow, the crutches went flying and I didn't go down but wound up bent over like an orangutang with feet planted firmly on the ground and hands on the ground too, tears coming down my face and screaming at my husband to get my walker. I must have looked like a real kook!!

Now it's funny, then I was scared to death, not to mention embarrassed, this couldn't happen in the privacy of my own home? HA HA

Peggy

Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 28, 2008, 08:27:23 PM
Laura,

Glad I made you laugh at lunch.  You guys are all cracking me up so I thought I'd share some of my stories too.

Peggy it sounds like you would have been better off if you totally wiped out like me instead of trying to catch yourself and balancing on hands and feet.  I'm laughing at the image.  Good to hear I'm not the only one that forgot which foot to use. 

A pillow and blanket would have been nice.  I really just wanted to start bawling.  I was convinced I had just ruined everything they fixed at surgery.  Picture me lying there while her husband is down cellar playing basketball and her daughter is in the living room watching TV with friends.  When I got over the shock of falling I realized there was a house full of people and noone heard me fall (and swear).  Too funny!

I have a funny story about using the handicapped cart at the grocery store too.  More to follow!
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lindseyso on January 28, 2008, 08:44:07 PM
I just went to a hockey game this past weekend and with my brace still locked straight I can only do one step at a time. And we had to look around for seats and ended up sitting up top! Once to the top I had to put my leg over the seat in front of me since I can't bend it enough yet for those tight fits. Luckily we found a spot with no one in front.

Even though it was a slow climb I was really happy to get out of the house and do something!

Haven't fallen yet, even with a couple feet of snow outside! But I am constantly being wacked in the knee by the tail of my overly excited german shepard.
(http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b105/lindseyso/DSCF2675.jpg)
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: peggy1 on January 28, 2008, 08:52:40 PM
Lindsey,

Isn't it amazing how far we will go to get to something we really want to do??

Lenore,

I should have just sat down and given up at that point but I was on my way to the os, I gave him an earful about the stupid crutches. It wasn't the operator, it was the equipment. HA HA

Peggy

Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 28, 2008, 08:56:23 PM
Lindsey,

I love the pup.  Watch out for that tail.  Sometimes getting out of the house and doing something for your mind is just as important as keeping up with all of the physical stuff you do at home and PT.  Good for you finding a way to get out and do what you want to do.

Peggy,

Sure...blame it on the crutches.  (Just kidding). 

OK, here's the grocery store story.  Enjoy!  Wish I had kept the original e-mail I sent my friends about the handicapped cart.  It was very funny.  I just can't duplicate the whole story again.  Basically I was sick of everyone waiting on me so I decided to drive with one foot and get myself to the store.  (Not an easy task since my right knee is the injured knee and I drive a pickup truck).  I parked in the handicapped parking and crutched into the store.  I chose one of the older carts (big mistake) and I don't think the battery was charged up enough.  As I left the cart parking spot I winged a gumball machine that teetered back and forth and almost came crashing down and then when I got to the main doors my cart stopped right in the middle of the doors.  The automatic doors were opening and closing on my cart and every time the doors closed on me the cart would tilt up on it's side.    As this was all happening everyone trying to get in and out of the store couldn't get past me so they were just standing there helpless watching me.  That's really the funniest part.  The cart stopped 3 or 4 more times while I was going around the store and I had to get store employees to help me get it going again.  I learned that the new "blue" carts were much better and after that when I went to the store I used those.  It was kind of fun once I knew the routine. 
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: peggy1 on January 28, 2008, 09:25:30 PM
Lenore,

Thanks for the giggle!!!!

I had one of those carts take off on me while I was at the resiter and it snagged (of course) my bad foot between the candy rack the check out. Boy did that hurt. I say my bad foot because after not walking for a year it is weak and keeps breaking and getting badly bruised.  I thought the ankle was broken and I swear I would have jumped in the river if it was!!

Peggy

Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 28, 2008, 11:21:33 PM
Ouch!  That's way worse than my experience.  At least I didn't get hurt. 
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: austinknee on January 29, 2008, 12:29:25 AM
That story with the doors closing on you is so funny.....I can just see it now....at least you didnt get hurt!!!

With the doggie..I understand the tail.  My dog is a big lab, seh sleeps on the floor usually but in the middle of the night she likes to sneak up when she knows Im too tired to care......about 2 days after my last surgery she jumped up on the bed and by the grace of god she landed  between my two legs. I was in shock...sat straight up....but, no pain.   So...after that she just got to sleep in the bed wth me..I figured a bad habit is better than an 80 pound lab jumping on my extended knee at night!!!

:-) thanks for all the laughs today!  ha ha


oh, if you want another good laugh you can go read some posts under an old topic of LR and subluxating. A nice "helpful" gentleman today suggested that everyone with all these knee problems should just see better doctors...and he suggested I see a "knee doctor"......ha ha...ok, good idea...like I havent seen EIGHT knee doctors already! ha ha ha....
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: peggy1 on January 29, 2008, 01:36:50 AM
A knee doctor?? That's a good one!!

Have a great evening

Peggy


Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 29, 2008, 03:59:30 PM
I would have looked at him very seriously and said "That's a great idea.  Do you know of any good "knee Doctors?".  Too funny.  File that one under the category of CLUELESS!!!
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: austinknee on January 29, 2008, 05:15:08 PM
Well, this guy was on this website...so, I looked under his username to see if he had any other posts.....ha ha...looks like he joined this site yesterday and then logged in and decided that we are all in bad shape and we need better doctors.  Guess that was his one and only helpful insite for us. ....

Lenorem...hop you are feeling better that the other day.......   :-)

Laura
Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: lenorem9 on January 29, 2008, 06:04:07 PM
Laura,

Good job scaring him away.  Ha! Ha!

Yes, I'm in a much better mood than when I started this thread.  (Thanks to all of you).  I don't know what hit me that day.  I was actually sobbing while doing my exercises that day.  It's so unlike me.  I'm usually pretty upbeat.  Guess we all have those moments.  Thanks for hanging in there with me. 

Title: Re: 2 steps forward, 1 step back...WAH!
Post by: peggy1 on January 29, 2008, 09:01:55 PM
Lenore,

Glad to see that you are doing better today. Yes, we all have those meltdowns, but they are normal and far and few between.

Peggy