KNEEtalk

The WAITING ROOM => Emotional/Spiritual help and encouragement => Topic started by: Clarinet'09 on April 17, 2006, 10:57:08 PM

Title: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 17, 2006, 10:57:08 PM
 Ever since Easter this past Sunday I've been really depressed. I decided to wear high heels to church on Easter Sunday with my dress, but about halfway through the service my knee just gave out cause it couldnt handle my weight anymore(we stand up a lot during the service). It makes me so MAD that because of my knee problem i cant do normal everyday things anymore like walk in high heels, ride the bus and walk normally!!! :'( Do you know how you can lock your knees so that it feels like theyre bending backwards but theyre really not? Well my bad knee do that on its own when i walk!!! If i stand up to long or walk to long i have to sit down cause my knee hurts so much. Also if i sit with my knee bent to long i have to spread it out or else it will lock. I feel like an old lady in regards to my knee but im only 14!!! On next wednesday i have to go in for an MRI and schedule my scope surgery and im scared to death!!! What if i cant go back to playing soccer?!?!?!?And on top of all of this this i am forced to leave my hometown because my dad got relocated!!! I just dont know what to do anymore :'(. Thanks for letting me vent!!!!!
                    ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Flame on April 17, 2006, 11:48:29 PM
Honey, I know you are scared and you are so young. You have your whole life ahead of you though. Don't give up! You will do wonderful with your surgery and in your new town. I have been to Tenn. and it is so beautiful there. One thing that I try to do when I get depressed is to not think about all the bad in my life but try to focus on all the good. I know that sounds hard, and some days are easier than other, but you are going to be great.

Dont ever give up and remember that all these people are here for you.  ;)  They have helped me so much.

Keep smiling! ;D

Laura
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 18, 2006, 03:32:41 AM
  Thanks so much Laura!!! At the moment i feel that my whole world is coming to an end what witht the move and all. Were waiting till the end of the school year to make the move. Tennessee is all ive ever know and all of my friends are here not to mention my first real crush. Its hard to tell but i think he might be interested i never did let on that i have a crush on him so ill have to get his email and see how things pick up from there. Im so active in the community that i have friends everywhere and thats a big accomplishment since im so shy!!! I just got done balling my eyes out in my room. How can someone do this...i mean they just tell you that you have a few months to end your life in your hometown and pick up your family of five and move to where you know noone!!! Its so unfair!!! They needed my dad too it was a miscommunication thats making us move. They couldnt go back after they made that mistake. I HATE GENERAL MOTORS!!!!!!!!!! Sorry.........
               ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Flame on April 18, 2006, 02:35:25 PM
My ex husband is wanting to move about two hours away. With the condition my knees are in I made arrangements for the kids to live with him so I know how you ae feeling. I have to be with my kids. I am going to have to pack up and move also to a new town soon. I understand. He is moving to the country. I have found out recently that I am not really as much of a country girl as I thought I was. This should be interesting.....

Laura
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: blackbeltgirl on April 18, 2006, 04:24:48 PM
Chelsea -

I had my 1st knee surgery at 17.  As frustrating and scary as the knee and surgery seem, odds are, you'll be much happier with your knee afterwards.  You will be able to wear the cute shoe to go with the cute outift - once they figure out what's wrong with your knee and get it fixed.

As to the move - I'm sure it's hard.  I always had a bit of wanderlust - I wanted to see new places, exlore new cities, find out what was out there.  I don't know where you're moving to.  Is it a larger city?  Will you have more independence?  Think of the good things - will you go from sharing a bedroom to having your own room?  Will your parents let you paint the room any color you want?  Will your new school have a theater club, or photogrpahy club, or whatever you're interested in?  It won't be the same, but that doesn't mean it won't be good.  And you live in the age of e-mail and IM, so it will be easier to keep in touch with your friends than it used to be.  Start looking for the positive side of the situation.  Focus on the good - the weekend visits from your friends, the trips back to your hometown, enjoy the rest of this school year, and consider this your next big adventure.  I forget who said it, but one of my favorite quotes is "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all."  Make this an adventure - learn what you're capable of, find the parts that are fun and exciting....A year from now, you won't be sitting in your bedroom crying - you'll be hanging out with your friends.

Good luck-
Jess
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: WantToKick on April 18, 2006, 07:51:57 PM
Chelsea:
I was 14 when i had my first knee surgery, too.  I was terrified of what the doctor would find... thinking that maybe they couldn't fix it, or maybe i'd be stuck on crutches for months... the worst fear was that they'd say "nothing is wrong, you're just a wimp" - I couldn't have handled that.  When I woke up, i had a cast from the top of my thigh to my ankle, and i thought for sure something horrible had happened... as it turned out the cast was to be on for only a week, then back into a little sleeve... they found some torn cartilage on my knee cap, which they smoothed out, and removed a HUGE plica... my MCL was torn, too, but they didn't do anything as repairs to that often fail, and she didn't want me to start a downward spiral so young... so it was a little disappointing to find out that they didn't fix everything... but things were a LOT better afterwards, even so.  Anyway, the whole point here... about being nervous for surgery and the MRI... you will be okay.  And even though it's hard to picture, in two years, you'll be driving with your friends, and will not be thinking about this anymore.  You probably won't remember how much it hurts, either...  As far as moving - it does stink, a lot.  I grew up with my dad here in wisconsin, and my mom in minnesota, about 3.5 hours away... half my life was here, the other half there.  So I know what it is to look at all your friends and wonder how on EARTH you're ever going to make new ones, and how you can live without seeing the ones you have every day... I was very very shy, too, active in church and lots of things at school... I was amazed, though... I found new friends, and it wasn't as hard as i thought.  I would guess that when you move, you'll keep in touch with your old friends a lot... you've got a computer to use, and they prob'ly do too... it's not as good as face to face, but it works.  They'll be there to help you get through the toughest time, right after you get there... you could do what one of my friends did when she moved... she came back and stayed with one of us for all the dances and major school events... helped her and us a lot...

Keep your chin up, and remember this:  The wonderful you that people like in your hometown, the you that people want to be around and know, will still be the wonderful you in a new town.  You won't be lonely for too long...

And when all else fails... there's always us knee geeks to keep you going...
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 18, 2006, 09:56:11 PM
Thank You so much everyone!!! I think ive already made new friends right here on this chatsite!!!  My mom is allowing my best friend to come visit for a couple of weeks in the summer so thatll make it easier. Im moving from a house out in the middle of the woods to a house in a huge city which will be a big change. The thing that im worried about most is the fact that theyre talking about scheduling my surgery at the end of may and were moving at the beginning of june!!! If i dont have the surgery before we move then i wont have time to heal before marching band starts up but we cant delay the move longer than we already have. I realy dont look forward to having to move right after surgery but i guess ill have to!!!
                      ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: doublea21 on April 19, 2006, 12:25:31 AM
Chelsea,

I know that you are worried.  Hopefully they will be able to help you so that you can go back to being a normal teenager.  That is great that one of your friends will be able to come and visit you once you move, it should help with the transition.  I was in a similar situation to you, I had my first surgery when I was 14 and then my family moved 4 months later.  Not quite as soon as you but it was still difficult.  I moved far away and so it was difficult for my friends to come and visit since their parents didn't always want them to fly by themselves.  Hope everything works out, and I sure that you will adjust to your new surrounding before long.

Amy
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: blackbeltgirl on April 19, 2006, 02:14:39 AM
Chelsea -

Look at it this way - surgery a month before you move means you won't have to carry a million boxes, run up and down the stairs in the house when your mom can't find something, etc.  It will get you out of some of the more frustrting parts of moving.  And since you'll be ready by the time marching band starts, you're set.  Most schools still do some sort of "band camp", so you'll meet people at your new school before classes start, and won't show up on the 1st day of school not knowing anyone.

What city are you moving to?  Personally, I'm a city girl.  One of the benefits of city life for folks your age is more independence.  If it's a large enough city with good public transit, you won't have to wait for a parent to give you a ride to your friends' houses, to the mall, etc.  Being able to walk, take the bus, take the subway opens up whole new worlds, that you just don't get in the suburbs and rural areas until you have your own car.

Good luck with everything-
Jess
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: knee deep in Goo on April 19, 2006, 02:50:07 AM
You know the girls at work are wearing flip flops more and more ..   However I can certainly understand the frustration of not being able to wear a heel.   You know its ok to cry and eat chocolate during knee crappy moments.  Its normal to have all these feelings.   Moving to a new home ... knee problems.. are a double whammie.  Ya know .. I will tell you . I often did/do  the same thing. . After I held myself a pity party crying in my room and than came to this site and just typed anything.. and well sometimes read the other posts and just tried to take a deep breath.. so this is the crappiest time .. but at least I found a group of people who understand .. what knee pain is..  heck you are at an age where you can take all this learning and become a doctor or a nurse or anything you want to be.. No stinking knee can stop you..  ..

sometimes i set a small goal for myself for the day.. and i feel good when i accomplish it.
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 19, 2006, 03:45:44 AM
I didnt think about that they will all be waiting on me hand and foot AND they will be unloading. HAHAHAHa now is the time to pay my sisters back for all of the crap they give me everyday!!! There is a band camp too which is a plus!!! Im moving to Fort Wayne, Indiana... Its so big it has five districts!!! I do have many of those crappy knee moments and i sure am putting on the pounds as a result of eating junk food when im depressed (everyday) and not being able to exercise!!! Let me tell you this site is raising my hopes and you of you wonderul people are to thank for it!!! Before my knee got this bad i had my job already picked out. I wanted to be a band director at Columbia Central (the school that im leaving behind). I was already looking into schools of music and had picked my major and some of the courses i wanted to do!!! Then I fell in to depression and i started to think what good would it do me if i cant even stand up on the podium long enough to direct a song!!! But ive found hope in this site!!! THANK YOU KNEE GEEKS!!!
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: momof2 on April 19, 2006, 07:10:19 AM
I had my first knee surgery at the age of 14 and my second at 15.  I had menisectomy done both times because my knee would lock straight and not bend.  I remember that when I went for my first MRI I became hysterical because the lady before me came out saying she felt like she was on pins and needles.  I immediately thought she meant they were going to poke me with pins and needles.  I was so scared I didn't want to go in.  Then when I finally did go and realized all I had to do was lay there I felt really silly.  Then when I went for surgery they told me it was a scope with three holes.  When I laid in the operating room I saw the lights that had three poles on them and was petrified that was going in my leg.  Obviously it wasn't.  To make a long story short the unknown is very scary.  Remember to take the whole thing in baby steps.  I had both of my surgeries and was back to drill team within a couple of months after each one.  It is much easier to heal when you are young.  Nowadays some surgeons will allow you to start walking right away.  My cousin had his knees done and walked out of the surgery center.  Try to relax and go one day at a time.  Keep your chin up it seems like forever but it will be over soon.
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Linds on April 19, 2006, 02:36:19 PM
Hi Chelsea, i'm sorry that you are struggling so much with your knees. I know what you are going through. My knee problems started when I was about 8 years old.  I am now 25... i've had a few surgeries the first one when I was 17. I know what you are going through.  It isn't any fun not being able to be a normal kid. :'( Sometimes it feels like you are the ocean being pulled out to sea and sometimes you can't even see the shore. The good news is... you are getting some help.
It's okay to be a little scared about the scope, but make sure you ask all the questions you have before the surgery. 

Keep your chin up... things will get better, and atleast you are heading in the right direction.

Hugs and lots of luck

Linds
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 19, 2006, 10:18:29 PM
Thanks guys I really appreciate your encouragement and ill keep you updated as to my upcoming knee appointment on the 26th!!!
           ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 20, 2006, 12:20:09 AM
Sorry for being all dramatic on the last couple of posts. All of you ladies should understand im sure it didnt help that i was on my period. Sorry guys for that peice of reality but it happens!!! ;D
               ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Flame on April 20, 2006, 01:37:17 PM
I do the same thing. Everything always seems to come crashing down around "that time". But everything is going to be ok. You will do fine. Just remember that you have so many people on your side. And speaking as a mother, I wouldn't suggest wearing heals for awhile cause you could really get hurt. They have some really cute flats out this season! You should check them out!

Laura
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: WantToKick on April 20, 2006, 06:07:17 PM
Chelsea...
most of us get at least a LITTLE emotional during that time... some more so than others (I think i'm a more so  ::)).  Glad to see you looking up a bit more... as far as shoes (and this is just what i've noticed) - out of the 40 or so teenage to early twenties women I know at my church that dress well (there's plenty that dress like me, with a sort of who-cares-if-i-fit-in attitude), probably 30 or so of them are wearing flats this spring.  Yes, the heels look sharp, but some of the flats are better than the heels (in my uneducated opinion).  The only reason my opinion should count here is cuz I'm not talking about me, but rather the people who "dress well" that i know...
Anyway, keep us posted.  We're here for you, and when you move, we're not goin' anywhere.  Same place as always...
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 20, 2006, 10:46:24 PM
I usually have that sort of who-cares-if-i-fit-in attitude but it was Easter sunday so i felt like i should dress nice. Church is really the only place i wear high heels. At school i usually wear converse which are about as flat as you can get ;D. Thanks Mama Laura ;D I appreciate you looking out for me ;)!!! Thanks for being here for me guys....thats something i really need right now!!!
           ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 21, 2006, 03:08:12 AM
Laura,
You remind me so much of my mom its scary :o!!! So im giving you the privalage of being my KneeGeeks mother ;D!!! In the name of the pope whose name i dont know i knight thee Mama Laura my official kneegeeks mom!!! :D
              ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Flame on April 21, 2006, 03:52:01 PM
Thank you . I am honored.  ;) But if anyone asks, I am your older sister....lol

Laura
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: hmfc5 on April 21, 2006, 04:13:55 PM
I had my first knee surgery at 16 years old. It is definitely scary, but I am sure everything will work out. I injured my knee playing soccer at ODP camp. I was able to play soccer 6 weeks after the surgery and continued to play all the way through college. I have had 3 surgeries since and continued play. I am now up for an osteotomy and will be finished with soccer for good, but that is an extreme case. I am 25 now and have enjoyed 9 years of great soccer after my first surgery.

Good luck.
 :)Heather
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 21, 2006, 09:53:33 PM
What surgery was your first surgery Heather? Im having a scope and my doc said that i cant do any strenuos activity for three to four months!!! I thought that a scope was i minor surgery!!! :-\ Laura youre no longer my mom now youre my sissy if that makes you feel better :-* ;D
                  ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Flame on April 21, 2006, 11:35:22 PM
Too funny! What ever you want dear is fine with me.

Laura ;D ;)
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 22, 2006, 01:16:14 AM
I know this is totally out of the ordinary but im requesting a special prayer for my knee. Every saturday i play two soccer games and ref like five and i usually have a lot of trouble with my knee being the way it is :-\. Usually by the end of the day my coach has to carry me to my car cause i cant walk anymore!!! :'( Im in so much pain throughout the day that i take like three ibuprofen, two tylenol, two alleve, and two advil at the same time to get effective pain releif and not overdose!!!  So please pray that my kneebrace is effective and that my knee holds out!!!
              ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Doc79316 on April 22, 2006, 01:33:21 AM
Hey Chelsea,

I'm sorry you're having to put up with so much grief from your knee. I didn't have surgery on my knee until I was 28, although the original injury was when I was 14.
I'm praying for you - not only that your knee brace is effective, but that you won't need it for too much longer.

Here's sending you prayers, hugs, good vibes and anything else to make your knee better.

Take care,

Laura x

PS The current Pope is Benedict XVIth.
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: doublea21 on April 22, 2006, 02:09:03 AM
Chelsea,

I hope that the knee brace helps you so that you can enjoy soccer while waiting surgery.  Just take it easy and maybe only do half of the games so that you are not in so much pain at the end of the day.  I understand the severe pain as I still have it everyday, but please be careful taking so much medicine at the same time.  Unless you have a doctor that said it is ok for you to take that much.  I just say this because it seems that you are taking 3 of the same type of medicine at the same time.  Advil is a brand name for ibuprofen, together with Aleve (naproxen sodium) are both NSAIDs (non steroid anti-inflammatory) which are processed by the body in similar manners.  No matter what always take the NSAIDs with food so that they do not bother your stomach.  Just be careful with the meds because I don't want you to end up like me who tried every combination of things and too much of some in order to stop the pain and ended up with an ulcer and now have to be very careful about what I take.  I don't want to scare you, but just to let you know. 

I hope that you can enjoy your weekends and that the surgery will help you so that you can be a carefree teenager again.  And, flats are very in now, from a shoe lover who gave up heels and now live in flats.

Amy
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: mhsflute07 on April 22, 2006, 02:36:27 AM
Hi Chelsea,

I know how you feel too. I'm 17 and have had surgery on both my knees.

I just wanted to add on to what Amy said about the meds. I used to take up to 12 Advil per day to try to control my pain. Now, I'm left with chronic stomach pain, most likely due to an ulcer, but I'm still trying to get that diagnosed. So, just please be careful!!

I wanted to wish you luck on Saturday too. I know all too well what it's like to be so active, yet in so much pain. Maybe try to ice your knee periodically throughout the day if you have a chance.

~Erin~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Flame on April 22, 2006, 09:17:18 PM
sending prayers and hugs!!!

Laura ;)
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 23, 2006, 01:01:20 AM
I just got done with my soccer games. My knee didnt hold out :'(!!! I was playing my second game when i got kicked and with my great luck (couch cough) it was a kick to the knee :'(!!! A girl was coming down the feild and that gave me two descisions. One, natural girl instinct: GET OUT OF THE WAY!!! And then i had my soccer instinct: run at it, try to stop it and hope for the best!!! Well soccer instinct took over and i ran at the ball. I was right in front of the girl and she kicked it. SMACK THWACK!!! I was down for the count. When the girl kicked the ball, the ball hit my upper thigh and her leg followed through the ball and hit my knee. As i was rolling around in pain my coach ran onto the field. He looked me over, then carried me off the field. He gave me to my parents, who took me to get it xrayed. After looking at the xrays, the doc said that i didnt hurt it at all. Luckily i was hit on my osgood schlatters bump which sheltered my knee from the kick. He said at worst it was probably twisted. So now im sporting a bruise that has the imprint of the soocer ball on it. It looks like i got i purple tatoo of a soccer ball on my thigh ;D. Looks like im going to be doing RICE for a while. I just hope the swelling goes down before my appointment on wednesday!!! :-\
                  ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: doublea21 on April 23, 2006, 03:11:27 PM
Chelsea,

Sorry that you hurt yourself in soccer.  Try to take it easy for a few days to rest it.  It will be ok if there is still some swelling when you go to the doctor on wednesday.  In fact it is sometimes helpful for them to see you knee close to the condition so that they can understand more of what happens when you do what you want to do.  Hopefully your OS will have an idea of what to do to help you on wednesday.

Amy
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Flame on April 23, 2006, 03:48:34 PM
I'm sorry you got hurt ,Hon. I hope you get to felling better soon. Maybe a few days rest will do you some good.


Sending you a personal message.


Laura
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 23, 2006, 06:45:10 PM
I LUFFS YOU GUYS!!! GROUP HUG!!! *pulls you all into a tight hug and starts to cry* I appreciate everyone's help and suggestions to help me pull through during this rough time. I just wanna let you know that ill be here for you if any of you need me. Even if its just to complain (i should know ive done a lot of that myself lately) ill be here for you!!!
              ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: WantToKick on April 24, 2006, 04:31:05 AM
Chelsea...
When i first hurt my knee, I was 13.  I hid it from EVERYONE, for almost three weeks... during that time, i kept forcing myself through martial arts classes, walked, and did all this while trying not to show that i was hurt.  Well, i woke up one morning unable to walk.  At all.  My knee was so swollen that none of the muscles would contract.  My grandmpa took me to my family doctor, who had the good sense to say "I'm getting you in to Dr. Zillmer, she's the best in the area..." and the decency to make it happen within 4 hours. 
The point I'm making here is this:  in my effort not to loose my "life" which consisted of martial arts, I nearly destroyed my knee.  If it's hurting, find a way to keep your life without destroying it.  I found that i could do martial arts class in a C.P.B. (I KNOW they're not designed for that, but i really was desperate)... the brace let me have 45 degrees of motion, and then stopped it.  That limited the collapsing and strain on the MCL which was torn, as well as the knee cap, which had shredded cartilage.  So you may need to back out of soccer, or cut back to one game per day.  And maybe for when you ref, you could get some sort of more sturdy brace to keep things from getting stretched?

Anyway... hope you are doing alright today... that you're knee is better... and that your "soccer ball tatoo" isn't sore!  Hehe... When i had my first shoulder surgery, I had a perfect foot print on my ribs from sparring the night before (I got kicked, by my instructor, who was also my doctor... hehe!)...
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: Clarinet'09 on April 24, 2006, 10:30:06 PM
I know how you felt hiding your knee from everyone. I di that over the summer when i fell on the concret floor. I brushed aside the injury and didnt let my parents know until the day after and that was only cause i couldnt get out of bed :-[!!! I still hide my knee from everyone cause it looks deformed and im tired of the questions :D!!! Im still sore today but feeling better and nervous about my appointment on wednesday. I know that whatever happens....happens and i cant control it!!! My coach probably wont let me play more than one game because hes already overprotective and im sure that saturday didnt help that any!!!
           ~Chelsea~
Title: Re: I can't do normal things anymore!!!!!!
Post by: WantToKick on April 25, 2006, 02:36:48 AM
Chelsea:
You'll be fine... one of the only benefits to being so young when you get hurt is that you've got a better shot at a total recovery... a DEFINATE plus...