To live with that possible...??

So there I were...just found out that I have RSD. For you how don't know RSD you can more or less say that is a neurological disorder. Simply experience awful severe pain that shouldn't be there as the injury is healed. That idiot to OS told me that I had to live with this pain that I wanted to get rid of. Every second is a fight...I just want to die. I asked them to chop the leg off. NO that won't help is the answer. If pain had been the only problem. Along with the pain I have huge swelling in my entire left leg, can't wear any kind of shoes. The skin is very sensitive. I can't stand cold or heat. I am in one spot in my wheeler using a Immo and have the leg straight out at lots of pillows. If anyone touches my bed I scream. Bumps..just tiny little ones make me catch my breathe. Is this a way of living ?? Now start the endless road to find something that works for pain.

Med tests. You go to another hospital during the day on empty hooked up on IV and get blind med tests. Pain is horrible. The body is a mess. I want to throw up but can't. Had appendicitis as little and is afraid of vomiting. After numerous rounds with that. Time to try blocks.With some of them get needle in foot...horrible pain when the meds go in. Had maybe 10 of them. Nothing helps. OK, now to the spinal....same here, help for moment but then pain is back. Meanwhile on heavy drugs and a big mix of them..where is my head and where am I ?? So in between when pain is just hopeless in some days to a week with constant epidural. Ohh relief..can I have you there always ?? PLEASE !! So the final moment, the final day when no meds work and I have been on the epidural for constantly a month. Tried to take that away, but I scream in pain. I will get a morphine spinal will come continue..

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