Patience

I saw my PT yesterday for the first time in 2 months. He sat down with me for 90 minutes, getting a baseline for my strength, pain level, and giving me more tools to use in my rehab. I simply had no clue how much a strength deficit impacts the normal functioning of your knee. I'm not dumb, it's just that for sooo long the emphasis was on the fact that I couldn't bend my leg that I thought getting rid of that scar tissue and getting my ROM back would be the hardest part after the surgery. I achieved full ROM about 3 months after the surgery last October. After a year, I am still struggling mightily to get my muscle back. This causes no end of difficulties, as I am still not able to *use* all that wonderful bend! I love, love, love the fact that I can feel my calf on the back of my thigh again when I bend. I marvel that I am so lucky to not have the major patellar tracking problems that often accompany AF. But...

 
I do likely have at the very least irritation of the infrapatellar branch of my saphenous nerve. I have tingling all the way down my leg and at times the pain on the medial side around my patella makes every step painful. Pair this with the arthritis and muscle weakness and I am still unable to perform daily tasks without great difficulty. Hopefully as I get stronger the nerve irritation will be reduced, as well as the arthritis pain. That's the hardest part for me - not knowing if, after all is said and done, I will get relief enough to function like a normal person again. The take home from yesterday was that I will have to continue to be persistent with my exercise (which I am), but also I will have to continue to be patient. I just don't know how deep my well of patience goes. My husband tells me I am a strong person. I say I'm not strong, I have no choice but to get up each day and do what I have to do. Ugh. I need a new attitude.
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