Frustration

I am quite frustrated because I have been having so much trouble rehabbing my knee after the release of my scar tissue last year. I know I am still quite weak, but it just kills me that I am still in pain after almost a year out from the surgery. I can bend, but I still get stiffness and stabbing pains under the patella. Dr. Noyes said we could wait 5-10 years before doing a replacement based on my arthritis, but the weakness complicates things. I get pains in different places from one day to the next and it drives me crazy. Sometimes the pains are around my knee, not in the joint itself. Is that muscle fatigue from working out? Heck if I know. I realize that it is going to take in excess of a year to build the muscle back, it's just that I don't know what the pains are coming from exactly. Yes, I do have anxiety issues, but I think anyone would wonder about all this. I have to modify the leg extensions on the machine at the gym because of the pain and arthritis. It's not safe for me to go for a full extension with weight on my leg, not that I'm strong enough anyway. 

 
To make matters worse, I lost two whole months of working on my knee this summer because I hurt my back. I've had nuisance back pain for at least 20 years, but over the summer I woke up with pain that was much worse than usual. I dealt with it for about 5 days, and then I was in such pain upon waking up that I couldn't get out of bed. It took two EMT's to lift me out of bed as I screamed with pain as they put me on a stretcher to go to the ER. It turns out I have lost about 50% of the space between my L5 and S1 discs, and my back has become very touchy. The spine doctor says that I'm not the first person to throw out my back doing rehab on my knee, so now I bring a lumbar pillow with me when I go to the gym. It helps immensely. Now I'm trying to tweak my new latex bed so that I get enough lumbar support, and that has me worried as well. I've been sleeping in a recliner for 3 months until we could save enough to buy a new mattress, and I'm afraid I'll never get the latex cores adjusted correctly. Sigh. I'm 44 years old and I feel like I'm 84 between the knee and back issues. This has got to stop.
 
 
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