Author Topic: Frustrated- will it ever end?!?  (Read 40 times)

Offline Shiningstar33🌟

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Frustrated- will it ever end?!?
« on: March 21, 2017, 03:41:41 AM »
Hi all 👋🏻

So it's my first post here and I'm hoping to find people that understand the struggle.

I've been dealing with my knee problems for 6 years, since I was thirteen years old. To keep it short, it all started when I had a serious accident and the problems seem to have kept coming since then. In that time I have had 7 operations, the majority being open knee, and I'm now waiting for the 8th.

So it's got to the stage that my knee is bone on bone and I recently- six months ago- had my lateral meniscus removed. I also suffer recurrent dislocations which are pretty much daily at the moment.

I am in constant pain and I don't know how to cope with this in my day to day life. I have always thought that I have handled what's been thrown at me pretty well. I've got on with what needed to be done, in the hope that each time it may just be the last. But I'm still waiting for that time and I'm tired and frustrated with it all.

I've been told many times that maybe I've just got to accept that this is my normal. But accepting it is just like saying that it's ok, and it's not. I can't stand for long periods of time, I struggle walking very far at all and stairs feel as if they are a mountain. Everyday I feel as if I am ninety, not nineteen.

Is there anything that specifically helps you guys to cope? I'm sorry for the big vent- it's obviously been stuffed inside too long!- as I know I'm not the only one here that is struggling.

Any thoughts greatly appreciated 🌟🌟

Offline sidhene

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Re: Frustrated- will it ever end?!?
« Reply #1 on: Today at 07:30:21 PM »
I can't say whether it will ever end. Most things seem to settle down eventually.

Accepting doesn't necessarily mean saying it's ok. It means to stop telling yourself that it isn't happening, or that everything is going to go back to the way it was before real soon, or mentally living in the future when this is all over.

Let me try to explain it another way: suppose your friend comes over and you get to talking and they have some really bad news: their sweetheart cheated on them, or gave them an STD, or they got kicked out of school or whatever. Your first instinct is probably to tell them things are not all that bad, or give them some advice, or solve the problem in some way. But usually this is not what people are looking for. What they want is for someone to really listen to them, to be fully present, to absorb the bad news, and to feel their reality for a moment. The reality might be really horrible, but being alone in it is even harder, so "being present" for them in that way is likely the most helpful thing you can do.

Accepting your situation is like being there for your friend with their bad news. It means absorbing the experience - no matter how horrible - and dealing with it for what it is rather that what you want or fear it to be.

This is not the same as being okay with it. You can still be committed to fighting for a better future. You will probably be able to fight even more effectively for that future, once you've accepted the present.

I read a good blog post recently about accepting a bad knee situation, but he doesn't call it that (he calls it his "come to jesus" moment):

« Last Edit: Today at 07:32:29 PM by sidhene »