Am probably in some classic stage of denial about what ails me. If I don't heal (and I don't seem to be) this stage will pass, right? Sadly, my hope is that if I don't and it does, that something more fruitful than this slow motion fight for my knees will occur. I get so tired of this struggle to win back my old life and am terrified that I won't, but at the same time have some awareness that if I did wake-up "cured," I might be at a loss as to what to do with myself. That would be a nice "problem"