Physio "suggested" I should change my job :'(

[smileyshaz]

Hi guys, warning this post is a moan!

I had physio on Wednesday where she had me starting to properly put weight on my leg (TPF back at the beginning of October) however after I nearly passed out on her (don't know why as it wasn't really painful just a bit uncomfortable and very scary!) she sat down and had a real heart to heart with me about potential outcome (she is a Consultant physio who specialises in knees and really does know her stuff).

Her first words were "it's not good really is it?  Your knee is bad, really bad.  Has Mr Dixon mentioned a knee replacement?" I said that he had already told me I would need a replacement within 2-10 years.  She looked really surprised at this and said carefully "that's a very conservative estimate", she thinks it's going to have to be sooner.  Then she asked me what I did again, when I told her I was a theatre nurse (in the theatres where they did my operation!) which means I'm on my feet up to 13hours a day, she got this look on her face and you could just tell she was trying to work out a nice way to give me bad news.

She gently pointed out that we need my knee to last as long as possible before I get it replaced, and then we need to make sure the replacement lasts as long as possible (I'm only 37) and that spending 13 hrs on my feet was not going to help with that.  She has strongly suggested that I look to moving to a more sedentary job where I can sit down, and I'm more in control of the length of time I have to stand (when you're operating you just have to stand for as long as it takes).  So basically she feels that my theatre nurse career (which I've been doing ever since I qualified as a nurse 12 years ago) is effectively over     

It was really quite a shock to hear her say it.  I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face for the first time since I had my accident, I've been trying to be brave and strong and just get on with healing but all of a sudden I've realised that this accident is really going to change my life, not just guarantee that I got christmas off work last year!

Sorry for the moan, just needed to let it all out. and I know you all understand what I'm going through.  Friends and family try to be sympathetic but they just can't really understand.

I'm back at fracture clinic in two weeks, so I'll have a word with the consultant and see if he agrees with her, if he does then I guess it's time to look for a new job. In the meantime I'm going to thoroughly enjoy this last box of maltesers, then start on the diet properly and exercise like mad to get myself fit again!
Shaz x

[ShoeCrazy]

Hi Sharon,

I am feeling terrible for you. Sending you strength and hope. I don't know anything about your kind of injury but I hope they are just giving you the worst case news and you will prove them wrong. I could see where you would have to modify your career and give yourself time to work up to what you used to do. But to give it up entirely is hard to accept.
Really hope you get some better news....

SC

[MSD]

It seems early days to make that judgement. At three months I was just off crutches and could hardly walk. Now I'm at ten months and although I don't have a job where I stand up all day, I'm more or less back to normal. And "back to normal" for me means that I have gone skiing for five full days and three evenings in the last eight days.

Work as hard as you possibly can and re-evaluate in another three months. I did about two hours hard work every day split up into three sessions. In between that I did as much light exercise as I could just to keep the joint moving. Reach for the stars, don't settle for second best.

Mark

[liamy]

Hi. I connected with you in a previous post because we have alot in common. Similar jobs and similar fractures. Now we have another thing.....
I saw my OS on Monday and he essentially told me the same thing!! I've been either in tears or on the verge of tears ever since. My PT however, is more optimistic and thinks I can do it. Either way, it's terrible to not know what the future will hold.
The more information I gather about knee replacements, the more frightened I get about that. I'm only 34, so I will obviously out live the device. I haven't heard good things about getting a second.
This is all so overwhelming. Its amazing how your life can be affected forever by something that takes only a second to happen (like falling off a step).
Sending you a big hug.......amy

[Rosiebudd]

Hi,

I know that you have a #TPF but I am not sure what grade/severity-BUT I totally agree with MSD-3mths in is way too soon to be making those sorts of judgements.  
When I first broke my leg, mentally I had given up on going back to work, walking and was suggesting we sold the house to buy a bungalow!
No-one truly understand how truly rubbish this kind of injury is.  

On August 10th 2011 I managed to gracefully fall off my bike and sustained a grade 6 #TPF.  
I am a school teacher of science-so spend a fair amount of time on my legs (when at school).  I did not return in September as I was NWB.  In Nov I was PWB so returned to school 3 days per week, but on a part time  basis.  So I was in school 3 days per week, but only teaching perhaps 2-3 lessons a day.  I have gradually built up to 4 days a week teaching all my lessons-anywhere between 3-6 lessons per day.  Friday (today) is my rest day and I slept til 11am! I was shattered!  I am 6mths down the line, and if I am honest it is in the last month I have seen a big improvment of how I feel physically AND mentally.  I walk with one crutch most of the time.

Yes going back to working 13hr shifts may be unrealistic (I used to be an RGN and I know what you are up against).  You and the employer may need to make some changes.  
I don't know whether you are in the UK, but if so employers have a responsibility to assist your return to work.  This could be the days/hours you work or finding you an alternative.  When you are more mobile perhaps you could do some work in recovery where there is more option to sit and monitor rather than be in theatres.

On a final note, like me your age is in your favour   There was a programme on recently 'Harry's Heroes' about soldiers injured (losing a leg/arm etc) and they walked to the North Pole despite their disabilities.  It was SO inspirational.  I sat and thought with a bit determination and support I may need to make adjustments, but I will get there-and so will you.  Eat that box of choccies!, then get exercising and do everything you can to build the knee up, tone the muscle and lose excess weight to preserve it!
 
Every time I go to see my Cons I cry ...give yourself a few days, have a good cry, dust yourself down and find the determination again.  

Good luck  

[floridanightingale]

I echo all of the wonderful sentiments shared by the folks who commented.  It is WAY too early for those kind of doom and gloom assessments!!!! There are so many posts in this forum of people 2,3,4,5 years out saying they completely, or almost completely, healed and resumed normal activities, jobs, functions, etc.  Like MSD said, reach for the stars. Don't let someone else's negative projections color your healing and success.

[smileyshaz]

Thank you all sooooo much for your words of support, it really means a lot!

I had my day of feeling sorry for myself yesterday (and thoroughly enjoyed my maltesers  )  today I'm getting back on track!

ShoeCrazy - thanks for your kind words, I've decided I'm not going to give up my career without a fight! I my have to change it slightly, or even go part time rather than full time, but I'm still going to do the job I love!

MSD - the thought of being able to ski (not that I could before the accident) is both terrifying and amazing, at the moment the thought of just being able to walk properly seems a long way off.  I've literally only just started putting weight on my leg, and you're right it is too early to be able to say how well I'm going to recover, but I've purchased a "go as often as you like" 3 month gym and swim membership and I'm planning on spending a lot of time there to give myself the best chance I can.

Amy - big hugs back to you, sorry you've had the same news, but you know what... I think you and me are going to work our backsides off and prove them wrong! I'm trying not to worry too much about the knee replacement, the technology is improving all the time (I've seen big changes in the 12 years I've been in theatre), so by the time we've had our first and they've worn out they'll probably have some brilliant replacement that will out last us!  Don't give up hunny, we can do this!

Rosiebudd - mine is a grade 6 too, I've completely mangled the joint surface apparantly, and have 2 plates and 10 screws holding everything in place.  I am in the UK.  I've spoken to my team leader at work, she said they will do whatever they can to help me when I'm back, like allowing me to work in recovery, or putting me in with operations where I can sit down    and occupational health have said I have to go back on a "phased return" which takes the pressure off a lot.

Floridanightingale - thanks for your encouragement, I'm not just going to reach for the stars, I'm gonna grab hold of them and use them to climb higher!

xxx You're all fabulous! xxx

[Rosiebudd]

WOW MSD!  Skiing....that is my long term goal 

If I decide to opt out then fine, but I don't want my knee making the decision for me!

Well done!

Smileyshaz....another day and you sound more positive

[smileyshaz]

    Wooo hoooo!!!!

I've just walked from the top of my stairs to my bedroom using just ONE crutch!   
I feel on top of the world just now!  It's such a little thing, but to me it's a really big step. 

Just yesterday I was scared to put the weight on that leg, and feeling like my world had just come crashing round me ears, but thanks to the support from you guys I've got myself back in the right frame of mind and already taken the next step to getting better.  Boy now I know what people mean when they say that recovering from this type of injury is a rollercoaster ride! 

Thank you all soooooooo much! xxx

[jasmin1989]

That would be terrible to be told to basically give up your job. I agree with the others - it is too early to tell. My TPF was in April and I still haven't gone back to work. I'm a university student and used to work part time as a hotel receptionist (on my feet a lot too).
I see a counsellor because of this whole TPF ordeal (got hit by a car while I was crossing at the lights) and I've learnt to take everything one day at a time and celebrate every tiny improvement. Don't give up and keep your head held high xx

[liamy]

Smileyshaz: I know is post about work is from quite a while ago, but I'm wonder how you've done? Are you back? I'm an ICU nurse, also with 12 hour shifts. I recently started doing short 8 hour shifts 3/week. One or two helping my manager in the office and one or two doing patient care. So far, so good. Though the thought of three 12s every week seems almost impossible. My doc told me I should find a new job right about the same time that you were told that. He has changed that a bit and said that I would most likely get back to it, just unsure how much pain I'll have. Maybe, I won't want to do it anymore. I'll give it my best try! Im just curious how you've handled it?
Thanks and good luck!!...........amy

[smileyshaz]

Hi Amy!

Glad to hear you've managed to get back to work!  You know we have to be one of the few professions who would class an 8 hour shift as short!   

I go back next Thursday, start on a half day (5 hours) and then work it from there.  The Occ.Health nurse has written to my manager to "suggest" that I should have a minimum 4-6 week phased return period, starting with half days and increasing each shift by an hour a week till I'm back to full time, she's also recommended the first two weeks should be purely admin work, followed by short periods working in recovery, where I can sit down if I need to, and eventually moving back into scrubbing for short cases.

That's the plan, how the reality works out is a different matter, as I'm sure you'll know! (Although if they try and make me do things I'm not happy with I can just collar my consultant in the corridor and get him to sort them out!  )

I have thought about changing my career, as I don't honestly think I want to be standing for as long as I used to (I was once scrubbed for an op from 10am until 5.10pm without a break!)  and the thought of going back to 12hr shifts quite frankly fills me with horror!  I'm looking into becoming a Health Visitor - total change from theatres, but still with the one to one care that I enjoy doing, and much less standing around!

How have you found the moving and handling of your patients since you got back?  That's one of the things that I'm worried about - either hurting them or hurting me if my knee suddenly decides to give way! 

Any tips for me on my return?

I'll post next week and let you know how my first couple of days has gone!
Sharon x

[liamy]

Hi Sharon.
I'll be thinking of you Thursday and wishing you good luck!!
I just got home from my first 10 hour shift talking care of two patients (since I'm in ICU we never care for more than two). What a long day!!!! I'm exhausted. But, it's not too terrible and I think that after I ice, which I'm doing now and then get a good night sleep, I'll be back to normal tomorrow.
I think I've been really lucky with how my work has handled all this. They've been great. They have a "return to work" program. I've been assigned a case manager type lady who has worked with my doc's office in determining my limitations. Its worked out really well and they haven't rushed me at all, which is nice.
As far as your question about moving pts.....this was a big fear of mine too. I haven't had a problem so far though. Most of our pts are totally sedated, probably similar to your surgery pts. I've noticed that when I've done heavy lifting or moving that I shift most of my weight onto my good leg. I have to be careful not to hurt the good one. I noticed months ago that my good knee was overworked and painful at times.
I can't squat yet, and that had been a bit of a pain. Managing chest tubes and drains and such that are close to the floor is hard to do. I just bend over and stick my butt up in the air!
There is an IV nurse that I've worked with for years but it wasn't until today that she told me that 11 years ago she had a grade-6 TPF also. She didn't work for 14 months. She says that she wishes that she had gotten her hardware out. And that at the end of her day, she isn't hurting anymore (my biggest long-term fear).  It was encouraging to get her perspective.
I hope your first day goes great, let me know!
:)amy

[liamy]

Hi again.
What I wrote yesterday about shifting all of my weight onto my good leg when doing heavier lifiting is a bad idea. My good knee hurts more than my bad knee today. I found myself limping the other way this morning. Not good! Hopefully it will be short lived.
:)amy

[smileyshaz]

Well I have survived my first morning back - 4.5hr shift with no patient contact at all, other than smiling as they walked past me!

I spent the first 2 hours having my return to work interview and having risk assessments carried out, then the rest of the morning catching up on emails (of which I think I had about a million!) and putting in my holiday requests  They have put me on half days for tomorrow and all next week (like I did today) and we're going to review it each week and decide what hours I feel I can cope with - my team leader is brilliant, she's basically said I can work what I like! 

I'm being kept off the staff numbers whilst I'm on phased return (which is for 4 weeks), so I shouldn't be asked to do anything more than I feel able to, I should be able to sit when I need to, and it will be pretty much up to me what jobs I do.  I'm going to start in recovery where I can sit down lots!

It felt a bit weird walking down the corridor in theatre scrubs with a walking stick and I did get a few funny looks from patients and staff   Hopefully I'll be able to leave the stick behind in the changing room soon, I had it more for my confidence I think than really needing it (the corridors at work are really long and I've only pottered around the house without my stick so far)  I was scared that I wouldn't be able to cope with the distance without it but there are plenty of rails along the corridor that I can grab hold of if I get the wobbles.  I did need my stick by the time the shift was finished as my ankle was swollen, but not as badly as I thought it might, and my leg was really tired walking through the hospital back to the carpark - sitting with my feet up for the rest of the afternoon now! 

Amy - you had me giggling with your post about having to just "stick your bum in the air", cos I know that's exactly how I'm going to have to do it, and the cheeky lads I work with are going to have my life!    It's also good to hear about your colleague's recovery, it another little light shining at the end of this long tunnel of recovery!  I'll be careful to try not to put all my weight on my good leg when I'm moving patients - I need at least one of them working!  Hope both your legs are feeling better today!

I'll keep you all updated with how things are going - I'm gonna prove the physio wrong (if I do change jobs it'll be because I want to, not cos I can't do my job anymore).
Sharon xx