Could I possibly go through anything else????

[tink1976]

Im at really at the end of my rope with my right leg/knee.. Brief summary.. Sept 24 2010 Fulkerson TTT lateral release, microfracture chrondroplasty and scrape of arthritis.. Aug 8 2011 power wheelchair fell on SAME leg and broke my shin right under my knee in 4 places and through the knee.. In wheelchair for 3 months.. ok. so Im up and walking now ROM is at 135.. leg is still pretty sore but I think Im doing ok.. Walking without assistance.. Well today at PT my therpist notices this "grinding in my knee" when I bend and straighten.. U can even hear it most times. He says he is not sure what it is.. possible swelling inside or possible cartledge damage which is very common with this kind of break... told me to be real careful and backed me off some excerises till I see the OS on WED. I am hoping and praying all this is normal.. but nobody seems to thing so. I swear.. if they say another surgery.. Im going to snap.. Have had  bad leg for over a year now. Bad enough I have loss 40% fucntion of it from the surgery.. I cant do through another surgery.. at some point I do want to have a life free of pain pills and PT. Im praying to God that what is going on it nothing.. I dont have a good feeling about it though.. but I will find out Wed when I go to OS. Wish me luck.. Im not sure I can handle anything else right now.. 4 kids, Christmas and still recovering.. everybody is really burned out right now. Good news would be very welcomed right now. Sorry just had to vent. Thanks guys!

[American BuLLDoG]

I found this site by mistake tonight and even was first looking at post on " Petalli Tendon ruptures  " and after first logging in this was the first thing I came to instead. I wont go thru all that i have been thru injures. surgeries etc.  (started 04' and still going - 2011' and still dealing with surgery, post surgeries, recovery, highs, lows, discovery of ones-self to back over the ledge again to out of my mind insane mixed in with sleep depraved strung out pin head ( which I have always have been a mentally and physically strong will at heart, but never was prepared to deal with this)

.......to never thinking clearer in my life.

 
Im am so thankful for the days I live in the gutter etc the valleys (not have always felt that way, but I thought I was strong before all this..........but as of today
 
 i cant even count how many days ive had were I really felt like "okay this is it, Im at the end of my rope, what else can happen, how can it get any worse to were worse is when the pain is so thru and thru (mentally, physically, all in between and to pray words doesn't even compute in your brain to even speak to God for help doesn't register its just you heart and soul crying out to survive)

Very active person, was (and still will be one day again)  a Coach, Die hard (avid traveling) surfing, competitive  bodybuilder, business owner and father of 2 and married for 12yrs to my lovely wife who has had M.S. since 20ys old. Now Her 29yrs and myself 31yrs

These I have all lost but will keep striving to get back. The days God delivers me from a hour of no pain or etc. its just a gift now just for that hour that (to some right now that know me may think looking at the outside of me see a person the feel sorry for or bad for) but little to they know theres are days that I feel more alive then every before.

 

Brother,

not trying to compare anything to what you have been thru or going thru right now, not one person is the same or feels similar feelings while going thru life's hurdles,,,,,,,but we are feel one similar feeling the same way when it hits us and that is being that you feel defeated, defeated but life, mate, the world. 

Bottom line is your not only my friend, you are not a weak person or less than who you were. This is the enemies' lie that he wants you to believe. Which he still catches me on my weakness days and I still fall in believing these lies.  But thats when I pick myself up ( even ifts its at times just producing a feeling of hope from your soul in just saying I wont believe this again even if its a half faint "huh" Im alive still here feeling)

Today ( and maybe thousands more to come) might be seeming not worth a crap or what the point feeling days to new soul cleanliness proud days and back down again.

Keep the faith and continue to fight another day not just for your self but for me, for others like us, to ones that are not like us but are dead inside anyway because self satisfaction or a life of not stepping up to the next level of the mountain top.

Just remember the days that are low as low, there is another going thru something similar in pain with you or are being strong on the days you are weak and ones who are moving forward

Every day we are woken to breath another day is a gift.

I will be praying for you to pull thru this weekend and try to enjoy Xmas with you family this year.

Keep up the great progress.....Keep the faith. 



   

[Lottiefox]

Tink, I have a lot of grinding in my knee too. I have had it since I was about 18 and I am 42 now. I know its a different situation for me but if you do have some cartilage wear then there may be noises. Your doc will advise on it but it may well be that more surgery isn't going to be recommended if its wear and tear, especially with the CRPS/RSD you've had (how is that doing?) in the leg. With more muscle strengthening it may abate - mine is much much better when I  keep my legs strong. Also things like Euflexxa can help with lubrication and friction in the knee (visco injections in the joint) - kind of like an oil change for the knee fluids. They help me a lot - certainly worth trying rather than more surgery which will simply set you back in terms of PT gains and stuff.

Hang in there. You're doing SO well. I was delighted to read that you're walking again. Good luck with the OS but hopefully this is just some stuff that sounds worse than it is.

Lottie xx

[tink1976]

Lottie...actually the RSD is doing pretty good. I have my moments but overall it is tolerable. The PT is working with that as well. I hope your right about my knee.  It would still suck if I do have cartledge problems when I just had surgery a year ago to fix them.  Just seems like it is always something with that knee. My and my PT have a challange thing going on. They said I could never run, jump, squat and I loss 40% function of my rt leg.. sooo I told him that we are going to try and prove them wrong. I want to bust my butt and get my leg as strong as possible and not settle for less. I feel like that I have never been able to really work hard on that leg as PT always seemed to end too soon. This time I spoke up and his recomndation is for me to continue with it. I guess the final say is up to my OS as he has to order it. When I saw the Pts face when he heard and felt my knee..that is what got me. Everything came to a hault then and he said he is calling my OS to give him a heads up. I know my rt leg will never be "normal" but I want it as close to it as humanly possible and dont want anything to stand in the way. I feel like this past year I have not been near as active and I would like to be and I want that to change or at least give it an honest effort. I cant accept at 34 years old that I have loss 40% function of my leg without really trying. Im not one to give up easy. If I cant..then I cant... at least I would of done everything I could of to make it happen. I guess I will know more when I go to the OS.. Just really gets to me.. Surgery is supposed to fix things.. not make u worse.... I was better off b4 I had the surgery... then I broke my leg and Im sure that affected everything too..I got a different OS then the one I had for my surgery so maybe he will have a different approach to things then my old OS.. I will write more after I see my OS.

[gbaze54]

Tink,
I have such clicking and grinding in my knee as well. I shattered my patella in June 2011 and am still struggling just like you. My new OS said that noise is the rubbing of the broken patella on my tendons.  So I'm scheduled for a partial patellaectomy and an allograft next week.  I too feel your frustration. I was doing fantastic with PT and then my knee just buckled while crossing the street.  It's been hell since then.  I'm working so I can't take powerful pain drugs so I'm just bearing with it.  Sometimes I feel like a knife is stabbing my knee.  Having a good support system is key and of course praying.  My family is helpful but the most helpful are my Church friends.  They will bring meals so I don'thave to cook, rake leaves and do my Christmas shopping for me.  And of course they pray for me.  So I'll pray for you that the doctor has good news instead of bad, that your pain will decrease and that you will have the strength to get through this!  Remember God is on your side supporting you all the way.   

[tink1976]

Just got back from Ortho. He wants me to get a MRI and refering me to a sports medicine dr. As it looks now I problay have cartledge damage from the break. I broke it through my knee. He is pretty sure that is the case. This one doc only does arthoscopic surgery and if he can save my knee that away.. he will do it asap.. if not he will refer me to another doctor who will "keep me upright" as long as he can and then I will have to have a knee replacement. They are not wanting to to a replacement right now as I am only 34 ( 35 2morrow). Im soooo tired of this.. I have been recovering from something with this leg for over a year now. I thought I was out of the woods with surgery. Its heartbreaking.. how much can one person go through with one knee/leg. The first surgery was to prevent a replacement just to find out I still may need one. Pretty much the break destroyed everything the surgery did. I cant win for losing. It hurts to even bend and straighten my knee.. the grinding and popping really hurts and makes my whole knee sore. Im at the end of my rope. Im just tired of the pain, the limitations and now.. the surgeries. I should be out living me life.. enjoying my kids.. plannin my future. But that is not the case.. ugggg.. for once I would like to get some good news and feel like living my life.. instead the pain gets so bad and I get so discouraged all I wanna do is lay in my bed. Some news to find out the day b4 ur birthday.. happy birthday to me huh? sorry im being so negitive but right now.. im tired and frustrated.

[Cynthia07]

Hi! How did things turn out? R u ok

[tink1976]

Sorry it has been so long since I have updated everybody. We were all hit with the flu recently and it has been pretty butal.

So I went to my to get my MRI and went to an ortho for results. The ortho I went to only does arthoscpoic surgery. He said there was pretty much nothing he could do for me. I have very little cartledge left and severe arthritis. He referred me to an ortho that does replacements. He said ( i feel like I have seen just about every ortho in that practice lol) that I did not need a replacement now but I will have to have one more than likely in the future. He also said that right now my leg may be as good as it gets. They have released me from PT. Not much else that can be done. I have lost a good amount of muscle in my quad and with the knee grinding so bad and the pain from it they decided that PT was not going to do me much good. Just make the pain worse. So I have restrictions. He also thinks that when I broke it that they bones didnt heal just right. That one bone may be slightly lower than the other causing the grinding too. He said a little "dip" on the xray. He said that is almost normal as that kind of break is very very hard to line up perfectly. He also said Im still kinda recovering from the break. I have to go back in 2 months to see where Im at as far as pain and activity. Its hard for me to even do normal household chores right now. He said he may be able to go in and "shave" down the bones so they are not rubbing as bad and just look in there and see if there is anything else that the MRI didnt show as it was kinda hard to read cause of the screws in my shin right under my knee. So that is where I stand. They are weening off pain pills which Im happy about but kinda nervous too. As long as I have them I know the pain is manageable.. Kinda like a crutch almost. Im dealing with everything pretty good. I have my days but overall I feel like I was given good news when I went to the second ortho. At least I dont have to have a replacement right now. I can deal with arthoscopic surgery and that is not even postive I will have to have that. Im learning to live with all the restrictions he has given me and even looking for an office job as that is all I can really do. I cant stand on my feet for a long period of time, cant do alot of walking, no squating, jumping, running, cant go up and down steps normally, can kneel, no heavy lifting as u have to squat to pick up something heavy ( or ur supposed to). Pretty much things i couldnt do b4 the break. So for now Im ok with everything. I know it could be so much worse. Quality of life is not where I hope but I have to be greatful for what quality of life I do have. So hope everybody else is doing ok. Big hugs!!!!