had a nervous breakdown

[DeborahinNC]

Hi all,

Peggy - don't know if you'll read this before you go.  Will be thinking of you tomorrow.  I know this day has been long in coming for you.  Keep strong and will be looking to hear from you when you can post again.

Mark - I agree with Peggy.  Don't beat yourself up about how much we concentrate on ourselves.  It is just this time for us and it happens.  Our spouses and loved ones do understand - its why they are in our lives.  You do think about your wife or it woulden't bother you that you think you don't.  And great on the ROM - keep going but don't overdo (as we all do).

Shortyclaire - hope your doing well.  It must be great for you to be able to go where you want to and when you want.  Hope you are doing well. How in the knee?

Claire x - haven't seen you posting in a while.  How are you - how is the job search going and how have you been feeling?

I've been in this brace for about a week and can't tell if its working but then don't know what to expect.  I'm seeing the Breg rep tomorrow to do a repair and have some other questions for him.  Its not uncomfortable to wear although it is a little warm.  I think the sleeve will be even warmer so haven't tried that yet.  I went back to work Tuesday and they are killing me.  It has been (and always is) very busy and I feel like I don't have a minute to think some days.  Right now all my ambulances are out on calls and the building is quiet so I'm taking a second to see whats going on here.  My knee hurts a lot but really no worse than normal.  I can't take strong drug while working so I think I'm just having a little harder pain management issue.  I'll let you know how it goes as I progress down the "who knows" trail.

Well back to work and sometime I have to study for my final test on Saturday - but then my semester is over and I'm off school stuff until June classes start - yea.

Be well all,

Deborah

[peggy1]

Deborah,

I will post as soon as I can make my way into the den sometime Sat. or Sunday. Good luck on that test.

Peggy

[shortyclairebear]

hi everyone!
sorry not been around much lately ive been back at work this week and im shattered,ive just been okayed by the works doctor to go back upstairs to my usual office as my first x 3 days back where spent in the sales office d/stairs where the staff are really miserable.HR had to ensure i could manage the stairs ok.
its good to be back to my usual office again with the usual people and i am now officially CRUTCHLESS!!!!! LOL!
I hope everyone is getting on okay,good luck with the hardware removal peggy!
i m now at 110 degrees ROM which is great! im doing more strengthening exercises now at PT but my knee has other ideas!
take care everyone!
claire x

[peggy1]

Hello,

Well it's over, YEAH!! He took everything out ( pins and wires ). Sent me gome with percs and I am taking 2 every 4 hours, that is when the pain starts. I have never in my life had pain like this and I went through 2 major operations before. I have been waking up sreaming at the top of my lungs. I scared my poor husband and the cat goes into hiding. My poor husband came running like never the house was on fire. I think I scared him pretty good. My leg also throbs and burns. Also I have bruises on the top of my legs, probably from being strapped down, but the one leg is really a mess, the bad one. I know this will pass and I will start feeling better in a few days. Right now I am in an immobilizer until Sunday when I can shower and change the dressing. Don'y think I will be able to get upstairs though. I can put full weight on the bad leg but it is too painful at this point.

Sorry to share such a story but this is how it's going and believe me when I broke the kneecap, I wasn't in this much pain. Hubby taking good care of me, hasn't left my side except to get the script and go up to bed. Funny thing, neither has the cat, he's been hanging all around me and sleeping with me.

I ope you all have a great pain free weekend.



Thank you for all your good wishes. Will talk to you soon, going to go lay back down. Boy these percs certainly do make you loopy!!

Peggy

PS. I posted this same reply on other boards, just in case you read it again:)

[DeborahinNC]

Hi all,

Peggy I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and yes you are right - this will pass.  I'm so happy for you though to finally have that awful hardware out!!!!  Now your healing can start and without having to fight the pins and wires.

Here is hoping that you are feeling better very soon.  Enjoy the shower and don't push the weight issue - I still say tell you PT where to stick the cane...lol

Mark - how are you doing?  Hope your ROM continues to improve. 

Shortyclaire - glad to be back at work?  Glad you're back in your own office with the folks around you that you know and like.  It can make a big difference.


I started again too.  Its taking its toll pretty quickly.  But I love my crew members and they really take care of me.  I'm pretty tired the next day, its been non-stop calls and administrative work.  Oh well this is why I like emergency service.  I just wish my knee liked it more right now.

Took my last final for this semester this morning.  I don't know how I did but it was very long so can really miss several and still get a good grade.  It was nice though because I got to see one of the out-of-state students I don't see very often.  We're distance learners so we talk on the phone all the time but only see each other during finals.  At least I officially have a few weeks off and then we start again but I will probably start early - its a short semester in the summer and lot of work on the syllabus.

Off to make dinner - hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Take care,

Deborah

[shortyclairebear]

hi everyone!

im so sorry to hear you are in so-ooooo much pain peggy,yes you know it will pass but i know that doesn't help you now!!!
i'm glad those meds are working even if they send you loopy!!
mike tells me im loopy without any meds!! LOL!!
once the pain has passed from the removal of the hardware will things get back to normal??
keep us posted how you are getting on when you can get to your pc!
we're thinking of you an sending you a big "healing hug!!"

deborah,i'm glad its not just me who is finding work so tiring!
i thought it might be my age now im in my thirties!!! LOL!!
i do feel so much better now im back up in my office! i bought myself a large container thing today to take to work to rest my leg on,work gave me an upside down bin but it doesn't support my knee and it aches like mad!

hope you are all okay!! claire,mark?? how are you both doing???

take care everyone!

claire x

[DeborahinNC]

Hi all,

You are one funny woman Shortyclaire - yea 30 is a killer!!!!  No its not just you, this work thing is cutting in to my swimming and posting time.  I may have to find some way to get rich so I don't have to do this...lol

Really I like working but just getting back in to having days filled and not quite so much time is taking a bit. 

Peggy - hope you are doing better (will check other posts too).  I'm just kind of in a holding pattern.  No better but not really any worse (after that Saturday morning intense pain thing - whatever that was). 

Claire S - where are you?  How are you doing - whats up with you?  See lots of questions - you have to come and answer every once in a while.

Mark - how are you doing.  Pat Miss Kiki for me.

This semester is finally done - took my last final on Saturday.  Pretty sure I did fine it was his usual poorly written test but long so I could miss lots of questions.  I'll know sometime when he grades it.

Ok back to work  I'll be back later

Be well all,
Deborah
 

[peggy1]

Hello,

ShortBear,

After the stitches come out I will return to therapy for another 2 months or so. After that I hope to be walking on my own!!

Deborah,

I hope that Sat. morning pain goes away and stays away!! Maybe it was just catching up to you from all you did last week. How did you do on that test?

I am hoping that Claire is okay. Yes, she needs to post and answer all the questions and also to just let us know that she is okay.

Talk to you later, sitting at the computer is still a bit uncomfortable.

Peggy

[shortyclairebear]

hi everyone!

peggy i hope you are getting on okay,i was wondering how you were doing,i hope the pain is not too bad now and you are starting to feel better soon,

deborah,how is work going for you?? i hope you are finding it okay and are not as tired now,i feel bit better this week and feel im getting into the swing of things again.

how are you doing claire s??
i noticed on your details you were on the site yesterday and am sorry to see you not posting,i hope you are doing okay and feel you can still come on here to vent if you need/want to??
we are all curious to hear how you are getting on and what has been happening for you??
thinking of you.......................

mark i hope you are doing okay too??

claire x

[DeborahinNC]

Hi all,

Just thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing.  Boy I love my job but the end is definately in my future if my knee doesn't start playing well.  I'm doing fine but by the end of especially a busy day I know it.  I have to say my boss has been on his very best behavior.  One of the other officers had sent him an e-mail telling him his attitude sucked and he needed to pull it together - this is another woman who does not mince words.  I think maybe it hit home.  He has actually been a peasure to be around.  Waiting for this to change but for now I'll take it.  He really is a nice guy, just not happy with his job any more and kind of stuck at least for now so its hard when you want to change and can't right away.  I do really like my crew though and they have been so very kind about taking care of me.  Everyone is trying to save me extra steps, I have only had to life one patient, otherwise my firefighters (who are our first responders) have shoved me out of the way to make sure they lift and not me.  It really has been very nice.  Makes it harder to want to leave - it was easier when I was home, feeling abused by my boss who was asking me to do work I wasn't getting paid for and not being around these folks I really like.  Oh well what ever will come to pass will be. 

Shortyclaire - hope work is getting easier for you.  It is hard to get back in to that time management thing.  I'm hoping to get to the pool at least three times this week (just the way my break hits).  I have only been twice since I started back and I really miss it.

Claire S - how are you?  What is going on?  Please let us know how you are doing.  Remember, you can say anything you need to here and that we care.

Mark - how are you doing?  How is the knee treating you.

Peggy - have caught up with you on another thread.  Still wishing you a very speedy recovery and return to your life before the knee injury.  I know it will be hard but you have already accomplished so much.

Be well all,

Deborah

[shortyclairebear]

hey everyone!
i hope you are all well!!

deborah,work has been easier last week,i think im getting into the swing of it again,i am really tired today though as i have had my new fitted kitchen done this weekend.the kitchen looks great but the dust and rumble is terrible!!
ive got it all to clean up today as mikes dad did not leave our house til 11pm last night finishing the last little bits!! we went straight to bed,as shattered!!
just the cooker and sink to plumb/fit now and its complete,then i can attempt the decorating!! (ive never tried decorating after an op before!!)

isn't it funny how doing work in one room of the house disrupts the whole house!!

well i'll be off for now! i'd better get it started!!

take care everyone!!

[mccreamark]

Hi everyone ,
sorry for not posting it,s been a busy month.
I have been helping Martine(wife) with her painting business it has taken a little jump forward and as she gets more complex bigger jobs ,they usually have a technical problem and I go along to show her how to fix it(after all I was the worlds greatest painter,martine says I am a know-it-all jerk)  we have had some huge fights over painting techniques. we never ever fight and it been really good to let off steam in a non-personal argument.I think she  is really stubborn and I actually do know it all!
So I've gone to work with her every day for the last  4 weeks and while I,m there I try to paint a radiator or a door or something to make it easier for her.
So when I get home I am beat and my back hurts from bending down with straight knees.I haven,t been able to excercise at all .butnext Monday  she is doing a normal job so I should get back to my normal excercise schedule.
it's cold here andI had to leave the job today and go  home to bed  and take some painkillers ,both my knees are on fire.
I have been see these people to help me get a job but they are pretty useless and I have applied for about 10 jobs myself but not even a reply.
A friend want,s me to make some beehives for him (I have a full  mini woodshop in my garden shed from the painting business). so I am going to try this and a few other things like repairing antiques to try and build up a sideline business seeing as no-one wants to hire me .Well I don't blame them as I can't even walk.
I seem to have reached a kind dead end until I can walk.

My Pt says she can,t really do anything for me as she can,t push anything incase the tendon tears so she is going to cut me loose next month.
I feel like she and the OS have given up on me and just want to forget about me.But i don,t care i feel I have do do it myself anyway and they are not doing anything for me.B*****ds

On a lighter note my knee is always improving but at a veeeeerrry slow rate on a good day it is a new best yet. I have just over 90 rom and will probably get a few more.
Peggy
I hope you will recover soon I think it,s great you got all the hardwear out the screws in my good? knee have been aching today
Deborah
I know how you feel about the job ,when I'm with Martine I know I can never really do this painting job again.
But it's difficult to change the habits of a lifetime.
ShortyClaire I'd say your glad to say goodbye to those babies.I think you will soon get back your stamina back and work days won,t seem so long ,you probably a little out of condition ,although  30 is 30.
Claire s. I hope you are well and things are good .you started a great thread as it lets others get a lot of things out in the open.

For some reason I feel really great today despite the pain in my knees and the fact that I 'm sitting in bed watch TV while we go broke,

Regards Mark

[peggy1]

Hi Mark,

Sorry to hear that the knees are giving you a hard time. You are right about one thing it takes time and it is frustrating not being able to do what you used to do but please have some patience and time. I am sure you will start healing and get on that road to recovery. Fighting with your wife isn't helping matters so don't go there !!

I am sure that there is someone out there who will be willing to give you a shot at a job, again have some patience. When will you be up and walking? Can you collect any type of disability while you are recouperating? Are you looking at more surgery?

Yes, my pins and wires are out and it feels great!! I went to therapy for the first time last night and only lost 2 points off my rom which is not bad at all. It's been a long year for me and believe me I understand how you feel, I am one of those slow but steady people.

I wish you the best,

Take care.

Peggy

[mccreamark]

`Hi Peggy , Thanks for the advice,i will try to be patient . I havent  had a real gight with my wife in 10 years.  When we fight it's somelike I say "use the 2 inch brush or start at the bathroom door" and she tells me to "get lost"and "shut upand mind my own business" She,s Creole and they don,t take any crap.
my knees are O.K I'm just putting a lot of weight on them when i whit martine.
i have to say when you said you woke up screaming i  don,t look forward to taking out  my kneehardware. i hope you  are in less pain now.

all the best
Mark

[peggy1]

Mark,

I was waking up screaming because the leg was "stressed", it had nothing to do with my knee. My knee feels great now that the stitches are out. The os just said that I went thru so much the past year that my leg had had it. It is so much better, I can actually put pressure on it and last night I walked with 1 crutch at therapy, not too long a walk, but still did it. I would recommend getting that hardware out even if you have some pain for a week or so, it feels GREAT!!! There is no more pushing thru the skin, funny thing, it pushed to the point that I was bleeding the Sunday before surgery. You would not believe how much blood came from 1 little spot in my knee. I was starting to get a little worried. Called the os the next day and they cancelled all exercises. My legs hurt when I stand for awhile to, I was told endurance and that will go away. Like I said time and patience. 2 words that I hate:)

I'm like your wife, don't take direction from hubby too well and usually tell him to get lost after awhile too. Nothing personal, just like to do things my way. HA HA

Have a good day,

Peggy

ps, when will the hardware come out?