1 Year since injury - Update

[loz8]

Hi Guys
Thought i would return to the site to share a quick update. For those who dont know my timeline I had ACLR on Oct 5th 2005. My recovery has been pretty good and the first 6 months I was very commited to the rehab gym 6 times a week etc with the aim of a return to playing football this season. Last night i played a pre season friendly and prob my first really competitive game since the injury about a year to the day.
One of the most useful comments made to me during rehab was that that your recovery is only really complete when you no longer think about your 'bad knee'. Makes sense...before injury when did you ever worry about your knees? they just did their job! I am certainly at the stage where i get out of bed, sit at my desk etc and dont give it a thought but playing again last night made me realise that nearly a year on i am still a way off my former self. I can do all the things on the football pitch that i used to BUT it is always on my mind and it feels to me like it is still fragile. Now it may not be and this could all be in my head but that is the sensation. Last week i wakeboarded and mono skied so i know it is strong and stable but until i know longer think about my knee as i jump for a ball or make a turn my rehab continues. There may of course be some reasons for this:
Have I got a little complacent over the last few monts with rehab - yes
Have I thought ive done the hard bit now just get back to playing football - yes
Have I thought I cant face more squats, lunges lets just do some running - yes
Have I thought I prefer doing upper body work to trying to keep those important quads strong - yes
Have I thought 9-12 months they say so I am back lets just be the person I was before injury - yes
So its clear I need a little re think...maybe some of this sounds familier to others but I quite simply have lost touch with some of the basic work that got me to where I am now and am clearly suffering a little. So the message is similar to many posts i have read on KG that the recovery is way beyond 12 months and as I face the prospect of my first competive game this weekend I am going into it with a little anxiety (a bit like an exam you havent totally prepared for) rather than the complete excitement I had hoped. That said i am fitter than ever before and I know my knee is up to it - I played 70mins last night and this morning i have no stiffness, no pain and no swelling BUT I know it is there, its like a niggle...
So thats my lot, please feel free to ask any questions!
Best wishes to all old and new kneegeeks
Loz

[rugby nut]

Forget the injury for a moment, if you had not played for a year anyway, then you would need quite a few games to get match fit. So to get through 70 mins & have no reaction the following day seems pretty good to me. You must be looking forward to the first 50/50 tackle somewhat.

Alan

[loz8]

Thanks Alan, I have avoided the 50/50 but i cant hide much longer!! As you know it is more dangerous to go in half hearted than it is to go in 100%. I have been tripped and taken a few tackles too but nothing to really rattle me and i think i prob need someone to clatter me to get the confidence i need as strange as that sounds....

As it happens i would always be suffering the day after a game and my calves and quads would stiffen at work but due to the rehab I dont get this at all which is positive.

When i got the ok to return to sport my OS did say you are likely to still 'feel' the knee for 24 months post op...

loz

[feeny]

I think its an amazing recovery loz. It really is. I am the 4th man out of a 6 man indoor soccer side to have aclr - none of my teammates have yet made it back to the sport - and they probably wont be back on the soccer pitch ever. Its not just physical - its massively mental - and make nothing light of what you have achieved.

And y'know what - if you are fitter than ever, care for your knees for the rest of your life, and get over the 24 month hurdle after which you trust your knee again to be able to do everything you want to be doing - thats pretty cool.

I hope you'll find that you return to the top of your game and then some - because I think you certainly have extra now. It mgiht just take a little while to discover it and unleash it.

Thats what I am hoping for.

I hope I keep my 5-6 days / week exercise up forever - I like how it makes me feel enough to increase its priority in my life. I have never been in as good mental and physical shape as I am now - and Id like to keep that habit as long as possible!

I learnt something about my mental state on exercise / rehab recently. Its an inverse thing. We look forward to doing most good things in our lives. Exercise / rehab for me is one of those things I look forwards to "having done" - I like that feeling after a good workout. Its the same as anything else- just I want to have done it, not do it. Somehow realising hat its an inverse reward thing has just made it easy for me to keep it all happening.

[rugby nut]

Just posted this on the "training" thread, but it's quite apt here too.

My surgeon said that if I rehab this properly he sees no reason why I can't be fitter in a years time than I have been at any time over the last 20 years. At 48 that would be something fantastic to achieve. I'm gonna get there.

Alan

[patpalloon]

great post Loz - very honest. If I'm anywhere near where you are a year post-op I'll be more than happy. I think the mental thing is probably the biggest hurdle as you and Feeny say. I think you are doing great Rugby nut, great atttitude towards rehab. And proof that age is no barrier to a successful ACLR. I bet you feel like going to that first surgeon and saying I told you so.

I know what you mean about the workout thing Feeny. I don;t look forward to the actual workout itself, in fact sometimes it can be a real effort to get to the gym when you can't be arsed. But afterwards, the knee seems to feel really good - sort of strong and tight. If I haven't been for a few days, then the knee feels a bit stiff like it needs the exercise. Maybe it's just due to the endorphin rush? Maybe we are just gym junkies after all.

[raquetball1]

Congratulations on your great progress, loz!!!  The mental barrier is, I think, much harder to deal with than getting past physical barriers in rehab.  I was starting to get over it from about one year post-op to 18 months post-op, then I tore the hamstring and gastrocnemius in same leg, had to take two months off the racquetball court for this and the trepidation has returned.  The good news is that most of the mental fear takes place before I get on the court.  Once in the game, it is again starting to dissipate.  

I feel like I'm in a quandary much of the time.  I was always a skinny-legged, no workout, speeder and diver on the court.  Rehab bulked my op leg so that is was clearly larger than my other leg, even though I had incorporated one-legged work on that leg too for pre-existing problems.  My legs did not feel all that comfortable in a bulkier/muscled state and the muscle tears (something I've never had a problem with before) kind of made me think perhaps I should reduce weights on workouts, do just the core leg presses, calf raises, hamstring curls, stationary bike and treadmill and get my leg back to its "natural" state (toning rather than building).  This has made my walking gait much more natural now and I have had no feelings of weakness on the court.  I wonder, however, if I'm now leaving my knee less protected??  Like I said, it's a dilemma I can't get my mind around.

[lacrosse16]

Well done Loz, you progress has been amazing. I'm pretty much at the same point as you and in a similar situation. I still think about my knee alot when i am playing, just in the background, but it still niggles away and i'd much rather be able to focus completely on the game, but i guess that will come with time. What i do find though, is that when i do fall over, just in the course of a game, my first thought will be about my knee and it will take me a few seconds to realise that i've some other part of my body is hurting for a change. is this the same for you?
Good Luck in your game this weekend. I hope it all goes well and that the knee holds up, which i'm sure it will
Lizzie

[rugby nut]

patpalloon. I do have this vision of seeing him at the bottom of a ruck!

[pt striker]

Wow Loz, you said it. I know that feeling of being "back" and having it seem so sketchy. The fantasy is that one will burst back onto the pitch triumphantly, trumpets sounding, and feeling like the Bionic Man--bigger, stronger, faster than ever--but the reality is more like you feel more like a five year old on the first day of school--nervous, overwhelmed, and more than a little freaked out.

It's clear that the mental game is huge. I've worried that getting hurt this way (so apparently PERMANENTLY) will pretty much mean the death of my soccer-playing self, because I wonder how I'll ever again be able to play fearlessly--the way I always used to play, and ironically, the way you need to play to avoid getting killed.

But now I have a new way of looking at the whole experience: Treat your life and the injury itself like a soccer match. Getting your knee busted is like suddenly finding yourself about 7 goals in the hole. A win looks unlikely. You COULD get discouraged and give up. Or you bust a** and keep at it, knowing that win or lose , you'll be better for having gone for it.

"Leave your heart out on the field," we always said. Truer words were never spoken.

We're rooting for you!

pt

[rugby nut]

Interesting to hear this enthusiastic soccer talk from America. What happened to good ol' baseball & football out there. Seriously, I appreciate that soccer is a booming sport in the US, & good luck to you, as you'll probably win the World Cup years before we do.

[NOW]

2010 rugbynut, 2010 . . . . . well 2014 . . . . ok 2018 at the latest.  If we can just get some proper officiating, non-europeaners may stand a chance.

[rugby nut]

NOW. You're from North West Denver? A Rapids fan? I know cos I checked your signature & I used to go to Denver a lot. I had a small unit in Breckenridge a few years ago. Great place Colorado. Miss it a lot. Went to watch the Rapids couple of times, not bad, & they are certainly my US soccer team. I like the Bronco's. Proper officiating in soccer world cups, I think you're asking too much there. To win it these days you need your team to have degrees in ballerina. Anyway, this is a knee board, what's your knee like? ACL tear, Cartilage? You ski?

[pt striker]

Fellas, fellas, do I need to point out that the U.S. already WON the World Cup?

Of course I'm speaking of the _Women's_ World Cup.

I highly recommend it to fans everywhere--there's MUCH less diving...

[NOW]

Non-knee stuff (sorry for the diversion):  MLS is a different animal.  Skill level is not quite there yet, but the attacking style is refreshing.  I was actually pulling for Germany this year because they seem to be the only finalist that didn't sit back on defense, waiting for your striker to be in the box the same time the ball was, take a dive, get the call, and win.   Don't get me started . . . . . ok, don't keep me going.  Breckenridge is awesome, we hiked up Mt Quandary just before I messed my knee up.  That's a beautiful part of the state.

Knee stuff:  Knee's doing great.  I'm at 6 months post-op, ACLR.  Started back playing football about a month ago.  Skills are coming back, but I won't go into challenge balls yet.  You?

[NOW]

pt_striker, touche!!!.  I stand corrected. 

[loz8]

Thanks for all your kind (and inspiring) words. I plan to stick around now and give some info on the gradual return to competitive sport as many do understandably leave when their goals are met. But I was always interested in what it was going to feel like 9 months down the line and there was always limited info on this.

Loz
p.s I saw robert pires tore his acl again last month not sure if it was mentioned on this board but does anyone know if it was the same knee? forget that just found the thread!! other knee hey, well my OS said it is always the other that you are most likely to injury...

[sparkle999]

Hey Loz

glad to hear you're doing well. I had my recon 24th Oct same month as you and i'm still nowhere near back! You are my hero...(and Feeny and Harry....god I sound like such a girl )

Like Feeny, I'm hoping to keep up the 5/6 days a week exercise forever. I feel so much fitter and stronger and more capable. Not to mention having massive energy reserves i never had before. I always used to exercise, but not in this same 'focussed' way.

I think it would be wierd to be able to forget about a knee that has dominated your life for a year or more. But it's great that you're back playing. I understand what you say about needeing to take a bad tackle before you regain confidence. I fell over a few weeks ago and realised I hadn't since my injury March 2005! Before the injury I would fall, trip, do cartwheels etc without a thought and I'm aiming to be there again (though perhaps with less falling over) ....sometime in the future.

Good to hear from you and enjoy the game.

xx