back from the rheumy :'(

[rhea]

Thanks Helen UK, Martiniswiller, and Kenzie for your wonderful words of encouragement.  It really does help keep me on trucking, although this truck is running low on fuel.  Im so behind in schoolwork, and I am trying hard to catch up, but between pain and the drug daze I can't do much.   I find this scary, as I've always prided myself as a good student who gets good marks.

Well the newest development is lots more swelling and fluid in that knee as well as these spots!  I don't know what they are...  They are like irregularily shaped blobs between 1/3rd to 1.5 inches in circumference. They are red, hot, and painful.  Fuuu-uuun.  I'd like to have that rheumy look at them, but I don't see her for awhile.  Did I mention she wrote me out of school for 2 months?    Tomorow Im planning on hitting the hospital for bloodwork which 21 tests need to be run on (not exagerating, there will be 21 tests run on my blood.  Vampires!  All of em'!)urinalysis, and chest, pelvis, and spine x-rays.  Im feeling soo much like a lab rat right now...  Im hoping and hoping that whatever's wrong will be shown on these tests, but somehow I doubt they'll show anything.    I can always hope though right?  

Well thanks so much guys for your unwavering support.  Really, it does help me.  I wish this post was a bit more cheerful, but Im feeling a bit worn down.  Prolonged pain seems to wear me down and eat away at the person inside.  On a brighter note, Dec 13th (yeh, FRIDAY the 13th   LoL) I have my appt with the 2nd rheumy.  Maybe he'll be really nice and know his stuff.  Fingers crossed.

Lots of (((hugs))) to my special net family,

luv

rhea

[Netty]

Great pics Rhea,
I think it looks very swollen, especially on the outer side and that bruising should have settled you would think. The only place I bruised was where they took the Hammy graft on the back of my leg. Im not sure how you put the pic there but I might try and add one of my op, I got heaps taken during my last 2 surgeries. Drats, tell me how you add a pic to the post please.

[rhea]

Thanks M and Netty for your encouragement and suggestions.  I got all of the tests done today at the hospital.   :oThey took 9 TUBES of blood from me!   And they didn't use the standard small plastic picky needle either, it was a nice large one for the "serious blood siphoning".  Fuuu-uun.  I've been looking a lot more pale, and feeling more and more weak.  The spots on my knee are getting larger and hurting more.  Its making bending my knee very painful, but I am making myself bend my knee through full ROM because I do not want to risk getting scar tissue and losing ROM permanently.  I find all of this worrisome, and I have this feeling that these tests are going to reveal something I definitly don't want to get into.  I guess thats why I was avoiding getting them done.  But oh well...I've gotta do what I gotta do.  One day, doctor, and test at a time right?

Thanks for helping me through this everyone.  I hope you are all doing okay and not getting much snow.

(((hugs)))

rhea

[Liz_-_UK]

That's the way sweetie! Just take it one little bit at a time.

And whatever the tests reveal, at least you will know what you are dealing with and you can start to find a treatment that will work.

Keep going hon! we're all here for you.

Liz
xxx

[Ross]

rhea, don't back down, don't give an inch!  You're luckier than you know to have a Dad that may stuff up with his parking but got you there and got you back.  Don't ever give up!

We Dads are a fallible lot but we keep on believing and we keep on trying, most times we fail but just once in a while we win and when we do it's better than Christmas for us.  Give the poor b*gger a hug for all of us, you'll never know how much it breaks his heart not to be able to fix your knees for you 'til you have kids of your own.  Seriously kid, there's not many Dads out there that wouldn't cut bits off themselves for their kids.

Be brave, stand your ground, don't back down, don't give an inch!  Believe in the unconditional love of your folks, it's your life but don't ever fool yourself that any time you hurt you hurt alone.  We're all with you too, yell if you hurt, curse if you must but never stop believing in the love of your family and friends.  

There will be other surgeons and other experts and eventually you'll meet the one with the answers, don't give up, persist, you can only win if you finish.  The race is not always to the swiftest but you have to believe nobody ever won that didn't finish!  It's about getting back up more times than you get knocked flat, they can knock you down kid but they can't stop you.  You have history, years of the stuff, you'd have chucked in the sponge long ago if you weren't a tough one.

God bless you and His healing be upon you.

[mj/usa]

Rhea--
I couldn't agree more with Ross--my heart goes out to you, I am rooting for you all the way.  Take care.
Luv from you electronic friend

Mary Jane

[Helen_uk]

keep smiling my little friend I remember being your age and being diagnosed and the thing is to find out what it is how to deal and treat it then deal with it head on and find out the things that you can do and do them.
I travelled for a lond time before I met david and setteled down.
A funny story I once flew with both my staight leg braces on and I couldnt shut the toilet door so the air stewardess had to stand at the door with a blanket to sheild me from the other passengers and a dishy passenger bought me a drink for putting on a brave face and even carried my bags for me to customs.
The things you'll do to pull??
Any way you can and will have a great life this is just a blip and you have so much to look forward to 'honest'
Love H xxx

[rhea]

Liz, Ross, and MJ, you guys are really sweet.  Thanks for your encouragement.  It is such a comfort to have you guys to lean on when things go bad.  I know my Dad wishes he could get my knees fixed up.  He saw me looking at Canada's Wonderland as we drove by and said that as soon as my knees are fixed up he was going to take me there.  That's really touching for him to want to do that for me, but even if my knees got fixed up all of my other joints are still going on me.  But at this point thats okay.  My body may be failing but my brain is still good. Going to the waterfront with my parents and my little dog and just sitting watching the water is an enjoyable treat.  Right now Im enjoying what I have, and not letting myself miss the stuff I can't have.  I wouldn't be pleased with myself if I spent my whole life wanting things, and not enjoying the things I have.  

Here's to better days for everyone and here's to all of you special people, whom without I wouldn't have gotten this far.  

Lots of (((hugs))), love, and energizer batteries,

rhea