Feeling Blue

[kath]

Hey Julie...give your DH a swift hard kick in the pants!  Marriage is marriage for good times and bad.  You need his support now more than ever...tell him so.  He wouldn't run away from his military duties would he?  Your marriage is no less important!

I agree with Nettan...perhaps one of the school moms or dads can help you out with transportation.  Why not ask your sons teacher if she knows of a willing parent who could assist you...or maybe the school secretary would know of someone.

Stay tough.  You WILL get through this!  

Kath

[Ron22]

julie..sorry for the trouble..it seems to be the time when u would need your partner the most...best u can do is just look out for yourself as best u can....maybe as kath suggested a family member can help or a friend..hang in there....i'll hold a good thought for u..and mahbe things will get better..we're all here if u need us..

hugs

ronnie

[jace]

Thanks everyone,

Things aren't much better today, but at least I am still able to smile.    So that in itself is something.

Have started doing the surgery count down.  Went shopping yesterday to stock the house of food and such in case DH forgets to.  Trying to cover all the bases before surgery.  Have been thinking about cancelling it though with all that is going on.  I know it would be the wrong thing to do,but maybe would alleviate some of  the stress here at home.  Think my os would come and drag me to the hosp though with the way my knee is. LOL.

Kids are feeling the stress around the house too, that is the last thing they need.  DH has taken to sleeping on the couch now, bright side of that is I don't hear him snoring  .

I am trying to stay as positive and laugh as much as I can.  Fear that if I didn't I would sink into a hole of sadness and have a hard time crawlig out again.  I am just trying to stay upbeat and spend as much time as I can with the kids.DH won't even talk about the problems with me, just stares at the floor and says it is nothing.   :-/  

So here I am in a new place with no one to vent to except you guys.  THANK YOU!!!!  It helps just typing all this out and trying to get some of it off my chest.  

I am going to talk to one of the other Mom's from my son's class and see if she maybe willing to take him to and from school for me until I can drive.  What do you think I should offer here as far as money for her time and gas?  We only live a little less then a mile from the school, just not sure what to offer.  Wow, what a basket case I am turning into.    

Thanks everyone for listening to me and giving me the advice and support, it really does help.  Wishing I could give you all hugs and kisses, but I guess this cute smiley will have to do.    Thanks guys!

,
Julie

[Nettan]

Hey Julie !!

If you are neighbours and they drive the same way anyway with their kids you don't need to offer more then making the same thing back when you are able again. That are how we and our friends and neighbours and school kids parents do.
I'm sorry that things still are tough for you. But you are
tough Julie you can do it. It's sad that you haven't anyone to talk to at home. Aren't there anyone a friend f.i. you can talk with ? You don't have to mention all just that they are aware you have it a bite difficult now.
Sending you hugs and a hope of soon relief from all bad things.

Hugs Nettan  

Wish we had lived nearer each other then I could have helped you.

[rozzzie]

Julie

It's so sad when husbands act that way!

Have you become acquaintances with anyone, another mother, a neighbor?  That would give you someone you could talk to some.  Maybe ask for help if you got in a jam? Maybe you'd develop a friendship?  

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending you LOTS of BIG HUGs

Huggs
Rozzzie

[imnotpunk]

Julie -

Just wanted to let you know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck with your surgery.

Angels over you.

Best wishes,
Patricia

[kath]

Hi Julie...I'm so sorry you are going through all this.

Have you considered talking to your doctor about your situation?  It's important that he know the stresses you are under especially in light of your upcoming surgery.  

I wish I could offer you better advice than my previous note telling you to give your DH a swift kick in the pants!  I grew up in a military family and remember what it was like moving to a new place where you don't know anyone.  For sure your children will be feeling the stress at home...the move, their mom going in for surgery and the tension between you and your husband.  Is there anyone...family or friend who could fly/drive to help you out for a little while?  The important thing Julie is to focus on yourself and your children....keeping them comfortable and reassured.  Perhaps it's for the best that your husband will be away for a bit of time...it removes one stress factor for a while.  Shame on him for putting the added burden of his negative feelings on you right now.

I like Nettan's idea of offering to drive the other boy when you are feeling better.  Sometimes the offer of sharing the duties like "chauffering" back and forth to school is payment enough!

Julie, please do talk with your OS or family physician.  Positive thinking and home support are essential in recuperating from surgery.  Your knee geek friends are here anytime you need us, to offer unsolicited advice   :-/ and a sympathetic ear! ...Kath

[jace]

Kath, remember when you said give my DH a kick in the pants?  Well, which leg do I use?    If I kick with my rt leg (bad knee) I will probably fall.  And if I kick with the lt leg I know I will fall cause bad leg won't hold me. LOL!!!!  How about I hit him with my crutches or at least my cane.  

Last night the little ones and I played Shrek Monopoly for a few hours and then colored.  Trying to do as much with them now.  Thinking about talking them to Racing Stripes (movie) this weekend.  Has anyone seen it yet?

Found someone to take my oldest to and from school!    She won't take any money from me.  I do feel guilty for that, but we'll work something out I'm sure.  Thanks for the advice.

As far as DH goes, it is all up in the air still.  Trying to get him to sit and talk but so far no luck.  Will try again tonight after dinner.  Wish me luck.

Only 5 more days to go till surgery.  Have been too stressed with everything else to worry about it too much.  It will hit me on Friday when I go in  for pre op.  

My last free mobile weekend for awhile, gotta think of something fun to do.  Well, enough for now.  TTYL

,
Julie

[kath]

I think the cane OR crutches would do the trick!

Glad you found someone to help out with getting your oldest to school.  That must be a relief.

I hope your DH opens up and you can work this out...good luck when you talk with him...will be thinking of you...Kath

[Ron22]

j..sending u all the good vibes and thoughts i can muster..u are in my prayers and i will light a candle for u..as far as the dh goes..tough one....try to focus on the kids and yourself..as others have wisely suggested..a family member or good pal would help loads..sometimes u just have to call in a solid and hope someone steps up....hang in there my friend....

hugs


ronnie

[libertynm]

Hi Julie,

My heart goes out to you. . .but you will pull through this!!  Your DH needs more than a kick in the pants.  Obviously he doesn't know what it's like to be facing surgery.(sigh)  Maybe it is better that he'll be gone for a bit.  You need someone compassionate around, and having someone that inconsiderate might be worse than not having anyone at all.

Like others have suggested before, it might be nice to have a family member come out to stay for a little while.

Hang in there and we are here for you!!!



P.S don't forget to stock up on chocolate and drop it off in spots where you might be hanging out post op!!

[Nettan]

Hey Julie !!

The cane or crutch thing were great, go for it !!
Well, I should use my wheeler to cross over the toes, ohh how mean I am.
Hope you can take it easy this weekend and spend some good time with your kids. About your man maybe some time alone together not at home out doing something or eating dinner should help you talking to each other. I know it's difficult for you when living at a new place to have someone taking care of kids, just a thought.
Take care !!

hugs nettan  

[rozzzie]

Julie

:DHave a great weekend, play with the kids   and like Nettan said take DH out for dinner and use that time alone, say over a good chocolate desert to talk.  Good luck, if he still doesn't want to talk   hit him with the crutch (you can be farther away and have more power teehee )

Will be thinging about you this week!  Sending BIG HUGs!

Hugs

Rozzzie

[jace]

Thanks guys!  All your support has been great!  Today was my pre op appontment, it went well.  It was funny to see how many people there were that said, "Oh, your the one they messed up on last month."  Small hospital!  This time when Doc comes in to sign my knee, I am going to have my own pen and make sure he double checks the techs to see if the trays are sterile and ok this time, then I'll sign his hand or something.  Told the Doc that the last attempt of the surgery was just a practice run.  LOL!  Asked him about what type of brace I will be in after surgery, if it would be full straight or what.  Told me it would be the same as I had before, it allows some movement but isn't fully locked.  Sounded starange but I guess he is the Doc.  So I have 4 days of mobility left.  Gonna try and make the most of it.

As far as DH goes. We did have a sit down last night and I layed it all out for him.  He is willing to try and work things out.  So I still have a DH and not yet an EX.  Gonna take some work though to make it better.  Half the time DH stands for "dear husband" the other half is "dumb husband".  LOL!  I'll let ya know how it's going.  Thanks for all the love and support.  Still have the crutches handy so if he makes one wrong move, watch out!  

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and I am off to go enjoy our 60 degree weather while it's here!  Not usually this warm in Washington this time of year.  Maybe head down to the beach and let my youngest play.  Sounds like a good plan to me.  Take care and talk to you guys soon.

,
Julie

[imnotpunk]

Glad to hear your spirits are up, Julia. Sounds like both your knee and your relationship with your DH is going to take a lot of work but I know you can do it! You need all the support you can get right now so that's great to hear that he's willing to work at it. First step to making things better is realizing the problem in the first place, eh?

Do something fun in your last four days -- see a movie, go to dinner, take a shopping spree; Lord knows you deserve it! I envy you for the weather though, it's 16 degrees with a windchill factor of 6 in New Jersey! YIKES! And I was the idiot who decided to wear SHORTS to PT today!   (Hey, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed!)

Best of luck and we're all pulling for ya. Keep us updated on your status with everything, eh?

Best wishes,
Patricia